divorce or not?
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i have a gf who is married and has a 3yr old son. Her husband is those Simply Bo Chup type, and all along she has been the one providing for the family n her husband's family of 4. Being such a SBC person, her husband once owed 15k of credit card bills, needless to say, she cleared for him. That was just last yr problem. Recently, his bill once again mount up to 10k, n again she cleared for him. She was telling me that she feels like divorcing with her husband. As her one n only fren, i felt that i cant give much advice coz she has a 3yr old son. Should she continue and gives him another chance? Or divorce? She is 24 now.
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her only problem is hving a 3yr son... its difficult for her cos the kid is difficult to grow up without a dad... ask her SBC n her to go for family conselling... dun resort to divorce yet... if after all tat still cmi then resort to divorce...Originally posted by Cool-gal:i have a gf who is married and has a 3yr old son. Her husband is those Simply Bo Chup type, and all along she has been the one providing for the family n her husband's family of 4. Being such a SBC person, her husband once owed 15k of credit card bills, needless to say, she cleared for him. That was just last yr problem. Recently, his bill once again mount up to 10k, n again she cleared for him. She was telling me that she feels like divorcing with her husband. As her one n only fren, i felt that i cant give much advice coz she has a 3yr old son. Should she continue and gives him another chance? Or divorce? She is 24 now. -
IOU her husband the $....Originally posted by Cool-gal:i have a gf who is married and has a 3yr old son. Her husband is those Simply Bo Chup type, and all along she has been the one providing for the family n her husband's family of 4. Being such a SBC person, her husband once owed 15k of credit card bills, needless to say, she cleared for him. That was just last yr problem. Recently, his bill once again mount up to 10k, n again she cleared for him. She was telling me that she feels like divorcing with her husband. As her one n only fren, i felt that i cant give much advice coz she has a 3yr old son. Should she continue and gives him another chance? Or divorce? She is 24 now. -
ya lor,thats wad i tot too.Originally posted by BrUtUs:her only problem is hving a 3yr son... its difficult for her cos the kid is difficult to grow up without a dad... ask her SBC n her to go for family conselling... dun resort to divorce yet... if after all tat still cmi then resort to divorce...
somemore her marriage isnt a happy one.. i believe her husband wont go for this kind of counselling one for he is so SBC.
anyway i think she didnt mention divorce to her husband, think she is working on it secretly...
she is like so 'cheng xin'
nu ren zui pa jia zhuo lang..
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simi IOU la?Originally posted by Devil1976:IOU her husband the $....
She damn good one, always that qing cai one. Gongzz...
Feel sad n unworthy for her. -
if things reali cmi then maybe the best way is seperate... jz give her full sarpot...Originally posted by Cool-gal:ya lor,thats wad i tot too.
somemore her marriage isnt a happy one.. i believe her husband wont go for this kind of counselling one for he is so SBC.
anyway i think she didnt mention divorce to her husband, think she is working on it secretly...
she is like so 'cheng xin'
nu ren zui pa jia zhuo lang.. -
Divorce will not solve the problem. It will aggravate the hurt both parties suffered from each other. Moreover, they're with a child already.
And since the husband is bo chup type, then all the more the wife has to drill some sense into him. I don't know how she's going to do it, but I would advise that she and her husband sit down and talk things out. It'll be wise to see the councellor for advices. If the husband is too BC to care, then he needs another relative to pump some blood into his brain and wake him up.
There must be proper communication and common understanding between a married couple. After all, they're married and planning a divorce just shows how immature and irresponsible both of them are.
cheers.. I hope I'm not too blunt to you. No offence. -
hmm...
she should tok it out wif her husband...
if he realli simply bo chap again...
its better to gib up e relationship...
dun becoz of e child n hold on to it...
once e kid get older together they will suffer onli..
but sayin is juz sayin...it is not so easy de...
if its juz so easy...i'll also hab done it myself~ -
divorce.
what if the son is influenced by his father? -
Start all over again .
Condition : Take all his credit cards .
And if possible , take all his monthly salary , and give him just $20 a day to eat , let him suffer , and he'll know how bad he had done for this years !
I have been through it , me reverse , my missus did it !
25K ...... let this bo chap man suffer for at least 5 years .... let him wake up !
My way : Let everyone know about his case , let him embarassed , and no one can go near him , then he'll be all alone , and that time , he'll find that family is the best .
Must embarass him and wake him up .
It works for me , she has woken up now ! -
Should talk to his husband, make him responsible for his own debt. He will then learn his lesson well.
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maybe he having affairs? TNP reported CC bills chalking up to 10k++ because of extravagant spendings of mistress
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call SOS hotline for professional advice.
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No la, he dun have mistress la.. Its his stupid car lor, always mod this n that. I know her husband oso n his dependency on his wife. Sometimes i see liao oso pek chek. Then my fren always keep things to herself. I reli dun noe how to help her.
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I guess in long term, it would be the best way out.Originally posted by Cool-gal:i have a gf who is married and has a 3yr old son. Her husband is those Simply Bo Chup type, and all along she has been the one providing for the family n her husband's family of 4. Being such a SBC person, her husband once owed 15k of credit card bills, needless to say, she cleared for him. That was just last yr problem. Recently, his bill once again mount up to 10k, n again she cleared for him. She was telling me that she feels like divorcing with her husband. As her one n only fren, i felt that i cant give much advice coz she has a 3yr old son. Should she continue and gives him another chance? Or divorce? She is 24 now.
She is still too young and way too much years ahead of her to waste it on keep clearing debts for her husband.
As for the son, if the father does not care about the son enough to keep chalking up debts. Then this type of father have or not also can. Why must the young son suffer and not enjoys some simple good stuff - and suffer as all money have to go to pay debts.
For her & son, that the best way out. -
Write legal papers and lend him the $ instead... If always help him settle his debts and spoon-feed him, she's not helping him but just leading him on... And would eventually destroy him and hence the family to follow....Originally posted by Cool-gal:simi IOU la?
She damn good one, always that qing cai one. Gongzz...
Feel sad n unworthy for her. -
Huh, wont it be alittle too extreme? Its like so calculative which i think she shd la.. But... Hmm... Dun noe leh...Originally posted by Devil1976:Write legal papers and lend him the $ instead... If always help him settle his debts and spoon-feed him, she's not helping him but just leading him on... And would eventually destroy him and hence the family to follow....
Haiz... -
Hard for outsider to counsel. But she'd better protect herself financially , make sure he doesn't take loans with her as guarantor or joint debtor, house and assets should be jointly-owned, etc. And have her own personal savings account just in case.
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Is cool-gal related to coolger03?
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No, wrong no la.Originally posted by iveco:Is cool-gal related to coolger03?
I just joined -
It's not about 'calculative'.. It's about a guy who's gonna to 'guided' into a free-lodger one day.... A parasite to his family...Originally posted by Cool-gal:Huh, wont it be alittle too extreme? Its like so calculative which i think she shd la.. But... Hmm... Dun noe leh...
Haiz...
I mean if he has really got GREAT GOALs and AMIBITIONs fail already still not that bad... But if he's just out to DRAIN... ISN'T HIM BEING THE EXTREME ONE...?
Ok. As if even if you suggest for her to divorce him, she would do that? Some people just don't wake up from dreams until they turn nightmares ya know...?? -
tat means tis guy duno how to finance.... she should tell her husband abt it... wats the point of hving a racer car when u cant even feed urself properly...? stupid boy.... sound like he still very immature....Originally posted by Cool-gal:No la, he dun have mistress la.. Its his stupid car lor, always mod this n that. I know her husband oso n his dependency on his wife. Sometimes i see liao oso pek chek. Then my fren always keep things to herself. I reli dun noe how to help her. -
Ya la, now the pro is i dun whether to support her to divorce or not, coz she is thinking of one.Originally posted by Devil1976:It's not about 'calculative'.. It's about a guy who's gonna to 'guided' into a free-lodger one day.... A parasite to his family...
I mean if he has really got GREAT GOALs and AMIBITIONs fail already still not that bad... But if he's just out to DRAIN... ISN'T HIM BEING THE EXTREME ONE...?
Ok. As if even if you suggest for her to divorce him, she would do that? Some people just don't wake up from dreams until they turn nightmares ya know...??
To me, the main concern is her son..
U noe, woman always loses out after married, like "market value" dropped... -
Agreed!!!Originally posted by BrUtUs:tat means tis guy duno how to finance.... she should tell her husband abt it... wats the point of hving a racer car when u cant even feed urself properly...? stupid boy.... sound like he still very immature.... -
yup she is the one losing out.... as always talk first, if cannot, take action.... she need to sort it out wif her husband big time....Originally posted by Cool-gal:Ya la, now the pro is i dun whether to support her to divorce or not, coz she is thinking of one.
To me, the main concern is her son..
U noe, woman always loses out after married, like "market value" dropped...