My boyfriend's ex-gf
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My bf is constantly talking about his past relationship. Like how his ex gf had treated him (it was a bad breakup fyi), how it had affected him, how well he treated her yet she behaved that, how he couldnt comprehend her behaviour.
I had told him that he gotta stop talking about her to me, but he said it affected him so much that it was a significant part of his life, and he sees no reason why he cant confide in me about wat is in his mind.
There were a couple of times i got affected by wat he said, and we had a fight. He said that im too sensivitive. But if he is talking about it every other day, and during the past week we had already had 2 fights/cold war over this, is this healthy?
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Not healthy.
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Not healthy must see doctor
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but he keep saying im too sensitive, keep asking me not to be too affected by it, but can i be not affected when it is so frequently talked about and the subject is so intense?
Am i that over sensitive? -
Hmm...are you good at conversing and steering topics?Originally posted by galfriend:but he keep saying im too sensitive, keep asking me not to be too affected by it, but can i be not affected when it is so frequently talked about and the subject is so intense?
Am i that over sensitive?
It'll be good to educate him to put whatever things behind. If not, leave him unless you want to be his counsellor.
Cheers -
its not healthy.
try doing the same back to him. whenever he starts moaning and groaning abt his ex, u start rattling on with ur ex, telling him how good ur ex bf treats u, he nvr mentions any of his ex gf's names or what they did together b4 as not to give u so much stress. ur ex bf always very attentive to ur emotions and ur feelings. and blah blah blah all the good stuffs u can think of.
if he asks u y dun u go back to him, just tell him, if it wasnt that i love u more than him i would have dumped u becos u simply cant stop thinking of another girl when u're with me.
make him wake up his bloody idea. how old is this guy anyway? 13? 14? -
Everyone had a past. some happy some unhappy.
Try talking to your boyfriend nicely telling him that how you felt when he mentioned his ex-girlfriend infront of you.
Some memories are hard to forget but i feel your boyfriend had not get over her -
i had asked him wat if i always talk about my ex, he said he doesnt mind.
Com'on, do you guys always tell you gf about your ex-es? or do you even tell? -
of course not healthy.... he's jz a cry baby.... u need to tell him to move on from it... constantly bringing it back wont help... u need to talk to him peacefully abt tis... gd luck... dun destory everything cos of tis ex gf rap...
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no i dun tell my wife about my ex gf unless she asks me about it.
and now its my wife keep telling me what my ex gf has been doing =.=
not all guys are like ur bf.
he's living in the past with only himself and he simply doesnt care about other ppl's feelings. dun scream at him dun shout at him and dun even shed a single tear for him. tell him in a stren tone and face that if 1 more time he talks about his ex gf, dont come look for u again, and u are not going to answer his calls until he get his facts right about who's his gf now.
and if he really ignores that warning. show him what a good time u can have without him in ur life. tell him what a loser in life he is. -
M i really that oversensitive? How else would a guy expect the galfriend feel or think when he keeps telling her wat crazy and unbelievable things he had done for his ex?
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if he really wants to talk about it, let him talk once and for all, and shut up after that, nv mention about the ex again.
not worth it to fight over an ex lah, seriously. -
Wah lau....harping on the same thing....
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u r not alone. my bf also keeps telling me abt he's past r/s. how dey loved each other, how much he did for her n such. i can see n feel dat she's alway the one he misses. i juz listen lor.... once in awhile i oso tell him abt my past r/s. can say dat we r each other's listening ear or wadeva u call it. i dun see any harm done here. but its unhealthy to have fights n cold war over this issue. try to counsel him as u go along in the r/s. u'll feel better when he's put things behind n one dasy juz totally stop talkin abt it when u dun realise. dat's when u succeed.
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ya, i had suggested that to him too. cannot remembered what he said. think he actually doesnt want to say, but need to pour out from time to time. But this is very exasperating, as he tells me parts of what she/he had done from time to time. I try to take it easy and be neutral about it, but it is too hard cos each time is easily half to an hour. is it so easy to stay neutral and be unaffected?Originally posted by browniebaobao:if he really wants to talk about it, let him talk once and for all, and shut up after that, nv mention about the ex again.
not worth it to fight over an ex lah, seriously.
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My ex seldom talk abt his past but if he do, will not be that often too. So normally i just listen lor. I think urs abit too much if he is like talking every other day. Not healthy and no, u r not over-sensitive. Everyone treats r/s differently coz diff views. Tell him nicely, "move on, dont compare u with others or his past is none of ur pro lor." Give him one fierce one n he will stop it.
But sometimes i noe of guys who do that just to spite their gfs. -
tell him if you hear it one more time, you'll SLAP him & he'll stop
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tell him to look in the mirror next time he wana talk about his ex.
after he finishes use ur right hand fingers to form an L and slap it on ur forehead to show him.
he indeed deserves to be called Loser -
I think the fact that he's not letting go of his past is already unhealthy enough... Not to mention the fact that he's currently in a new relationship...Originally posted by galfriend:My bf is constantly talking about his past relationship. Like how his ex gf had treated him (it was a bad breakup fyi), how it had affected him, how well he treated her yet she behaved that, how he couldnt comprehend her behaviour.
I had told him that he gotta stop talking about her to me, but he said it affected him so much that it was a significant part of his life, and he sees no reason why he cant confide in me about wat is in his mind.
There were a couple of times i got affected by wat he said, and we had a fight. He said that im too sensivitive. But if he is talking about it every other day, and during the past week we had already had 2 fights/cold war over this, is this healthy?
The way he trying to confide in you and you resenting it would likely lead to a build up of wall in between both of you with time to come...
What is your horoscope?
What are both your ages?
Does he always repeat the same things over and again about what he had done for her? Or is it often different things...? Is there a trigger point often? e.g. On certain occasions or situations when he would mention of such....?
How long has he broke up with her? How long are the both of you together? How long after the break before he got himself attached with you...? -
i think hor..Originally posted by galfriend:ya, i had suggested that to him too. cannot remembered what he said. think he actually doesnt want to say, but need to pour out from time to time. But this is very exasperating, as he tells me parts of what she/he had done from time to time. I try to take it easy and be neutral about it, but it is too hard cos each time is easily half to an hour. is it so easy to stay neutral and be unaffected?
if i were u, i will get him a soft toy.
ask him talk to that soft toy everytime he wana mention his ex.
are u jealous when he told u the things he did for her?
and u dun like her too?
then i can understand why.
to me, the past is past, i wun make myself unhappy about it. -
seems to me...
he hasnt gotten over her......
i don tknow bout u..but i will get very upset lors...
wats over is over le...
i feel u nd to stand for urself le... i doubt u wanna live under his ex's shadow lors....
point of to him tat if he cant get over her..no point being together le...
his inability to let go of things is very unfair to u.. -
hmm...maybe you do the same thing to him...talk to him about your past relationship, see how he react...if he's not happy and argue with you, then you tell him that's how you feel...
Cheer up gal, hope things will get better for you..
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Ask him if "do I have to become your ex in order for you to talk about me and you instead of you and her?"
And if he still doesn't get it, don't waste ur time w him. -
You are not being over sensitive. He is the one being insensitive.Originally posted by galfriend:M i really that oversensitive? How else would a guy expect the galfriend feel or think when he keeps telling her wat crazy and unbelievable things he had done for his ex?
Though he shares it with you, it becomes kinda selfish.
Have to tell him he got to move on. While it have deeply affected his life, make it clear that it's affecting yours too, negatively.
Ask him if he can do so much for his ex, but did not come full circle, why not transfer that undying affection to you. Ask him ernestly if he can do that.
Some things are meant to be kept in the heart. It shows maturity & wisdom.
How long have you guys been together? -
Its not one of those life or death moments that scarred him for the rest of his life , or abusive parents since childhood. Tell him to be mature about things n let it go . Move forward and treasure your relationship with him.
Maybe he just feeling hell insecure now. Tell him if he continues to do this , u will break with him n make sure u scar him for life also.