Going out vs Tired, staying at home
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The new school term has just started a week ago (Uni) hence my gf and i will both be schooling on the weekdays and will only be free during the weekends.
So recently i asked her out during the weekends and she told me that she's tired and wanted to rest at home.
Which leaves me puzzled, if we dun meet on the weekends (which is our only free time), that means we do not have to meet at all?
By the looks of it, doesnt it mean that i can forget about going out with her for the rest of the school term? since its only the first week and she feels tired and wants to rest at home. as the term progress the workload increases i think i can kiss goodbye to the thought of meeting her?
fyi, the relationship has passed the honeymoon period.
For people out there, do you still meet your other half when you are tired? Do you prefer to stay at home and do nothing than meet up with your other half? -
unpopular topic sia...
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Tired then call cab.
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then meet her at her house?
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go to her place instead...watch dvd...bake a cake...cook up a meal or something...
you need to do at least something...together... -
Sometimes, a girl has to have her own space and free time to rest or do her things. Let her have her own space then, while you do your own stuff.Originally posted by jeramy:The new school term has just started a week ago (Uni) hence my gf and i will both be schooling on the weekdays and will only be free during the weekends.
So recently i asked her out during the weekends and she told me that she's tired and wanted to rest at home.
Which leaves me puzzled, if we dun meet on the weekends (which is our only free time), that means we do not have to meet at all?
By the looks of it, doesnt it mean that i can forget about going out with her for the rest of the school term? since its only the first week and she feels tired and wants to rest at home. as the term progress the workload increases i think i can kiss goodbye to the thought of meeting her?
fyi, the relationship has passed the honeymoon period.
For people out there, do you still meet your other half when you are tired? Do you prefer to stay at home and do nothing than meet up with your other half? -
its hard... her house is very small and she doesnt have her own room.Originally posted by huiz:then meet her at her house?
somehow i dun think she like the idea of me going to her house -
yes la of cus. but now i'm talking about all the time leh.. even during the first week of studies she can feel tired already and dun want to go out...when later in the semester isnt it just going to get busier and busier??Originally posted by -[0]-:Sometimes, a girl has to have her own space and free time to rest or do her things. Let her have her own space then, while you do your own stuff.
maybe she has lost interest in this relationship already? haiz -
staying at home doesnt mean also ur treasuring each other ; just that u have ur
own personal time also.. unless ur the type whom needs 24 hrs companion then bo bian -
How long have you been together?Originally posted by jeramy:The new school term has just started a week ago (Uni) hence my gf and i will both be schooling on the weekdays and will only be free during the weekends.
So recently i asked her out during the weekends and she told me that she's tired and wanted to rest at home.
Which leaves me puzzled, if we dun meet on the weekends (which is our only free time), that means we do not have to meet at all?
By the looks of it, doesnt it mean that i can forget about going out with her for the rest of the school term? since its only the first week and she feels tired and wants to rest at home. as the term progress the workload increases i think i can kiss goodbye to the thought of meeting her?
fyi, the relationship has passed the honeymoon period.
For people out there, do you still meet your other half when you are tired? Do you prefer to stay at home and do nothing than meet up with your other half?
Is it possible to have short meet ups on weekdays?
Perhaps you should be showing concern for her? -
What makes you think so?Originally posted by jeramy:yes la of cus. but now i'm talking about all the time leh.. even during the first week of studies she can feel tired already and dun want to go out...when later in the semester isnt it just going to get busier and busier??
maybe she has lost interest in this relationship already? haiz -
its her interest to get rest at the home... since she might nt be the kind tat likes to go out tat much so y force her? maybe she wan her space too rather than exhaust herself out daily.... 1 more thing, both of u in sch so the priority is nt the relationship instead is ur future... work hard on your sch...
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just over 4 monthsOriginally posted by Devil1976:How long have you been together?
Is it possible to have short meet ups on weekdays?
Perhaps you should be showing concern for her?
i think is possible but i scared to ask her coz high chance she tired then i will just feel lousy..
i think i show a lot of concern for her lor.. i think to the point that sometimes i think im taken for granted.. -
well she seems to be reluctant to meet up with me...Originally posted by Devil1976:What makes you think so?
when u miss someone, dun u want to go and find him/her during your free time? -
yes, she needs her rest but in a week i think we should at least meet up for a while? if not how to maintain the relationship? do i just accede to her request and see the relationship dwindle away?Originally posted by BrUtUs:its her interest to get rest at the home... since she might nt be the kind tat likes to go out tat much so y force her? maybe she wan her space too rather than exhaust herself out daily.... 1 more thing, both of u in sch so the priority is nt the relationship instead is ur future... work hard on your sch...
thanks for the reminder i will definately work hard on my school..
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excuse me, if she says she wants 2 stay at home, then u ask her if u can go her house 'Pei' her or not lor..
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She tired then you feel lousy or she bored then you feel lousy...?Originally posted by jeramy:just over 4 months
i think is possible but i scared to ask her coz high chance she tired then i will just feel lousy..
i think i show a lot of concern for her lor.. i think to the point that sometimes i think im taken for granted..
Depending on how tired she really is... Perhaps you can plan things such that it'll be less taxing for her...? i.e. Hang out around her area once in a while...? Hang out somewhere where it's convenient for her to reach and go home...? Do some less tiring activities together..? Shorten the length of meet up or frequency of it...? (Afterall, it's the quality which really counts?)
Doesn't she go out for other activities...?
Personally, I feel that if your meet up with her is suited for her... It should appeal more to her and make her more willing to spend the time with you...? What's her star sign by the way....?
Pls explain the last paragraph in this post of yours....? -
that's not long at all...
Be unavailable.
Then mebe she will be asking "why you don't wanna meet me huh?? "
Seriously. Regardless of everything else, you should always be able to discuss things with her, like this going out thing.. ... don't be afriad to voice your concerns, I'm sure she'll be receptive if you talk to her calmly and reasonably.Originally posted by jeramy:just over 4 months
i think is possible but i scared to ask her coz high chance she tired then i will just feel lousy..
i think i show a lot of concern for her lor.. i think to the point that sometimes i think im taken for granted.. -
Depends... If she's genuinely tired and busy coping with her schoolwork, having you pushing the blames to her certainly won't give her much of any console or encouragement....Originally posted by jeramy:well she seems to be reluctant to meet up with me...
when u miss someone, dun u want to go and find him/her during your free time?
Care to explain again her current studies...? Previous studies institue...? How you got to know her? Any relationship she was previously in that you know of...? If so, how long ago was that? -
Mayb she is tired bah.. Give her some time to sort out her feelins, etc.. It might be "tat time of the mth"..
U both in the same uni arh? Mayb u could make some effort to meet up.. Say.. If both ur lunch break the same.. Can meet up.. Or mayb after school go for dinner tog..
Based on ur feelins, U feel she minds u goin to her house.. Mayb she doesn leh? Can try askin her.. Can i come over to your house? We could jus watch a rental movie.. Or study tog.. Or jus slack tog.. eTc..
If she feels isn a gd idea.. suggest mayb ur place?
Or jus keep givin suggestions.. Hehe.. she might jus agree to one..
Mayb she's jus feelin down.. Or might be.. considerin if she can cope with a r/s & her heavy workload.. sTress bah..
Most impt give her bit of space & reassure her.. Be there for her..
In a r/s.. It's easy for either party to take each other 4 granted.. Usually it is done unknowingly?
Mayb u can hint in a subtle way.. I'm kinda feelin neglected.. Etc.. Havin been spendin as much time as i would have like.. Is okie.. I understand.. Are u feelin stress out recently? etc.. blah blah blah.. Try to let her open up..
Even if she says nothin is wrong.. Gals always say tat!! Then.. sOmethin is reali wrong! Slowy leave open ened questions to get her talking.. Give her lots of hugs & reassurance..
Hmm.. CAn try tis.. Give her a surprise.. U noe.. Pop by her house.. Give her a call & say u're waitin 4 her.. dOwnstairs.. Or at the lift landing of her house..
Come by with a heart shape choco? a slice of cake she likes? anythin lah. up to u 2 surprise her..
hOp it works, if u ever decide to try it out! It'll surely rekindle abit!
Every r/s requires some surprises long long one time to rekindle the flame that was once burin so brightly..
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when i ask her out and she rejects me of course i'll feel lousy..Originally posted by Devil1976:She tired then you feel lousy or she bored then you feel lousy...?
Depending on how tired she really is... Perhaps you can plan things such that it'll be less taxing for her...? i.e. Hang out around her area once in a while...? Hang out somewhere where it's convenient for her to reach and go home...? Do some less tiring activities together..? Shorten the length of meet up or frequency of it...? (Afterall, it's the quality which really counts?)
Doesn't she go out for other activities...?
Personally, I feel that if your meet up with her is suited for her... It should appeal more to her and make her more willing to spend the time with you...? What's her star sign by the way....?
Pls explain the last paragraph in this post of yours....?
i dunno man..i'm always the one planning these things..i'm always doing all the work! carefully planning this planning that, scared that she doesnt like to do this, doesnt like to do that. asking her where she wants to go, carefully choosing places suitable for her, planning the time, planinng the venues, activities....i dunno how long i can carry on.
its not that i mind all these, but then if like you are the one whos always asking her out, always the one to sms her first, always the one to call her first...surely you'll feel something?? dunno how to explain hope u understand
she's gemini -
thanks for your suggestions! i know surprises are great and i am proud to say that i am someone full of surprises..Originally posted by ahkico:Mayb she is tired bah.. Give her some time to sort out her feelins, etc.. It might be "tat time of the mth"..
U both in the same uni arh? Mayb u could make some effort to meet up.. Say.. If both ur lunch break the same.. Can meet up.. Or mayb after school go for dinner tog..
Based on ur feelins, U feel she minds u goin to her house.. Mayb she doesn leh? Can try askin her.. Can i come over to your house? We could jus watch a rental movie.. Or study tog.. Or jus slack tog.. eTc..
If she feels isn a gd idea.. suggest mayb ur place?
Or jus keep givin suggestions.. Hehe.. she might jus agree to one..
Mayb she's jus feelin down.. Or might be.. considerin if she can cope with a r/s & her heavy workload.. sTress bah..
Most impt give her bit of space & reassure her.. Be there for her..
In a r/s.. It's easy for either party to take each other 4 granted.. Usually it is done unknowingly?
Mayb u can hint in a subtle way.. I'm kinda feelin neglected.. Etc.. Havin been spendin as much time as i would have like.. Is okie.. I understand.. Are u feelin stress out recently? etc.. blah blah blah.. Try to let her open up..
Even if she says nothin is wrong.. Gals always say tat!! Then.. sOmethin is reali wrong! Slowy leave open ened questions to get her talking.. Give her lots of hugs & reassurance..
Hmm.. CAn try tis.. Give her a surprise.. U noe.. Pop by her house.. Give her a call & say u're waitin 4 her.. dOwnstairs.. Or at the lift landing of her house..
Come by with a heart shape choco? a slice of cake she likes? anythin lah. up to u 2 surprise her.. hOp it works, if u ever decide to try it out! It'll surely rekindle abit!
Every r/s requires some surprises long long one time to rekindle the flame that was once burin so brightly..
i had given her much surprises lor...i think to the point that it doesnt feel as 'surprise' as before liao haha -
It's nice to do plannings and surprises for her... But you don't have to make it a routine.... And pls try not to 'overwork' yourself on the plannings and such... Somehow it could just be overdoing it...? It's nice to pamper her, but if you overdo it... You'll just be spoiling her and guess who would be the one left to face the consequences...? Moreover... Are you planning on going short-term with her or on a long-term relationship...? At the rate you're going, you'll probably just burn yourself out in no time at all....?Originally posted by jeramy:when i ask her out and she rejects me of course i'll feel lousy..
i dunno man..i'm always the one planning these things..i'm always doing all the work! carefully planning this planning that, scared that she doesnt like to do this, doesnt like to do that. asking her where she wants to go, carefully choosing places suitable for her, planning the time, planinng the venues, activities....i dunno how long i can carry on.
its not that i mind all these, but then if like you are the one whos always asking her out, always the one to sms her first, always the one to call her first...surely you'll feel something?? dunno how to explain hope u understand
she's gemini
Her mood swings... Guess it would often be you asking her out... Especially the way you're handling things now.. Be prepared to face 'rejections'... It's somehow just in her... Unless you can really comfort and interest her, otherwise it'll be always her mood 1st before you...
Once in a while you can expect her to ask you out... But that'll probably also be because her mood hits her or something...?
She might not be easy to 'maintain'.... No offence..? But somehow I feel she might not be of your calibre? And yup... She can get bored quite easily... -
You're like the guy version of that girl in the other thread who asked about "ti tie"
It's not the actions per se. If you wanna do them, it's all good and fine.
The important thing is to see how she reacts and reciprocates. Does she go:
"Oh that's nice! Can't wait for your next surprise, must be bigger and better ok??" . . ... & she waits for your surprise during the next occassion (birthday, Xmas, etc)
OR
"Oh that's nice! I'll think of something sweet to do for you in return. " .. . . . & she really does it!
There's got to be taking and giving by both of you.. not one person gives and the other takes all the time...Originally posted by jeramy:thanks for your suggestions! i know surprises are great and i am proud to say that i am someone full of surprises..
i had given her much surprises lor...i think to the point that it doesnt feel as 'surprise' as before liao haha -
wa devil...what you said really describe what i feeling now, and your observations are mostly correct..Originally posted by Devil1976:It's nice to do plannings and surprises for her... But you don't have to make it a routine.... And pls try not to 'overwork' yourself on the plannings and such... Somehow it could just be overdoing it...? It's nice to pamper her, but if you overdo it... You'll just be spoiling her and guess who would be the one left to face the consequences...? Moreover... Are you planning on going short-term with her or on a long-term relationship...? At the rate you're going, you'll probably just burn yourself out in no time at all....?
Her mood swings... Guess it would often be you asking her out... Especially the way you're handling things now.. Be prepared to face 'rejections'... It's somehow just in her... Unless you can really comfort and interest her, otherwise it'll be always her mood 1st before you...
Once in a while you can expect her to ask you out... But that'll probably also be because her mood hits her or something...?
She might not be easy to 'maintain'.... No offence..? But somehow I feel she might not be of your calibre? And yup... She can get bored quite easily...
one particular thing is very depressing
otherwise it'll be always her mood 1st before you...
wa...now that i think of it, really i must live by her moods.. when she's happy and jovial then i'll have a good time, but when she gets depressed or tired, then it becomes hell for me...
i dunno why. when she's tired or depressed i'm the one to comfort and destress her. what abt me? when i'm tired and depressed then how?