Love or happy?
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Would you marry the person whom you love so deeply? or would you choose another whom you are happier with?
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Hmm...
You mean you are able to Love unhappily? and Happily be unloved?
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happier with...Originally posted by galfriend:Would you marry the person whom you love so deeply? or would you choose another whom you are happier with?
love deeply...but love might not be reciprocated...might end up as terrible love...
happier with...at least good relationship stands...so next time got room to advance to deeper love... -
Gotta have something in common - i happy, she's happy with me is something common that will blossom. When i love her deeply but not reciprocated, can't possibly blossom.
It's like 1+1 = 3, not 1+1=-1.
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juz started a relationship for 4 mths, pretty happy in it, of cos we had our disagreements. but lately, i begin to suspect i still have very deep, hidden feelings for my ex bf. we broke up 3.5 years ago. i was very unhappy in that relationship but, was in it for 7 years. i do not know if it is love that i am feeling towards him, or 'xi guan'.
confused.
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Originally posted by macjoe:It's like 1+1 = 3, not 1+1=-1.
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after so many failed r/s, i would choose the one whom i will be happier with, coz laughter is the medicine. For love might not be returned and it might even make u suffer in silence esp those very deep in love. The most hurtful thing in this earthly world is LOVE. something for u to ponder.. most suicide cases are from failed r/s. Love can make u go crazy n think of the unthinkable.
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The one I love deeply may not feel happy when he's with me.. that's sad..
I would choose someone who would make me feel happy when im with him, and he feels the same way too. -
Confused...Originally posted by galfriend:Would you marry the person whom you love so deeply? or would you choose another whom you are happier with?
I tot when you loved someone you naturally are happy. AND when you happy, you can love someone wholeheartedly. Did I mentioned it has to be BGR...?
Can't it be loving family, frens, things in the world...? -
let you know again when the opportunity comes around
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You love sadly? oh heck....what's love?Originally posted by galfriend:Would you marry the person whom you love so deeply? or would you choose another whom you are happier with?
If you love unhappily, it's not love....it's torture...
Isn't Love supposed to be happy which everyone has in heart and mind?
U wan to love unhappily? Then you want torture yourself.... -
When you love someone you need not necessarily be happy lah... Sometimes it can be a certain type of 'happiness' with a whole lot more of 'pain' to come.... Other times, perhaps quite plain 'sufferings'....Originally posted by Bontakun:Confused...
I tot when you loved someone you naturally are happy. AND when you happy, you can love someone wholeheartedly. Did I mentioned it has to be BGR...?
Can't it be loving family, frens, things in the world...?
When you are 'happy', it can be due to alot of things too... Need not necessarily be of the 'love' from the other party... Or perhaps it's a kinda 'love' which is not really of the 'BGR' type...? You can be surprised some people actually got married more for the 'friendhip'....? -
Hmm............Originally posted by Devil1976:When you love someone you need not necessarily be happy lah... Sometimes it can be a certain type of 'happiness' with a whole lot more of 'pain' to come.... Other times, perhaps quite plain 'sufferings'....
When you are 'happy', it can be due to alot of things too... Need not necessarily be of the 'love' from the other party... Or perhaps it's a kinda 'love' which is not really of the 'BGR' type...? You can be surprised some people actually got married more for the 'friendship'....?
I understand if its btwn family, frens and aquaintances. BUT for guy/gal relationship I tink dat kind of love can be more happier and more fulfilling.
But I noe... To love some1 is to see them happy, even if you are not happy all da time. There are alwaes better waes though... so........... -
I have the same question with Bontakun....
I tot for a boy-gal relationship, when u be with someone u love, u are automatically happy because u already get him/her? if he/she's not happy with you, then she doesn't love you and you are not happy too because you are not loved by him/her. so I tot u have to choose someone u that u love and being loved, rather than just love or happy? how can u be happy when u dun love that someone? -
Most likely, you got into this new relationship before you can actually recovered from the previous one. Which makes this new relationship a rebound? a float? back tyre? substitute?Originally posted by galfriend:juz started a relationship for 4 mths, pretty happy in it, of cos we had our disagreements. but lately, i begin to suspect i still have very deep, hidden feelings for my ex bf. we broke up 3.5 years ago. i was very unhappy in that relationship but, was in it for 7 years. i do not know if it is love that i am feeling towards him, or 'xi guan'.
confused.
I have a roommate who spent 5 years just to get over her first love. It's a matter of attitude. I have 14 suggestions for you to get over your first love, if you are willing to.
1st) Write a goodbye letter. Make it a real good one. Highlight your attributes and his flaws. Be sure to tell him how much better life has become without him.
Keep this letter, don't send it, you will want to check back at the end of your journey and see how truthful your feelings were at that time of such pain.
2nd) Make a list of all the things he will miss about you. E.g. your sparkling smile, quick wit, oatmeal raisin cookies, sexual prowess, etc..
3rd) Go to Triumph and drop a wad of cash on some brand new single girl undies. Nothing makes a girl feel better than knowing she looks good "under there". Go through your drawer and get rid of all the undies he loved, especially those he has gave you. If he likes lacy red hot G-string, buy yourself some white cotton thongs.
4th) Make a list of things you can do this week to help you feel good fast. E.g An "ALL-GIRLS ONLY" weekend, doing nothing but shopping, eating and bashing guys. Take a class and learn how to pole dance. Take a trip to a sex shop and check out all the new gadgets. Believe me, anything you purchase will more than pay for itself within a week.
5th) Make a list of every argument you two had and why you were right everytime. Like you know, the time he wanted to go to his mother's for Mother's Day and you wanted to hit the new, hot club in town. Imagine, choosing his mother over dancing with you! What a momma's boy!
6th) Call those girlfriends you have neglected during the relationship and catch up on their lives. Avoid talking about your ex-bf, diets, debt or how bad life is. Keep it upbeat and make fun plans for the future.
7th) Buy yourself something frivolous, anything impulsive and over-priced. Something you know he would roll his eyes at and consider a waste of $$.
8th) Burn yourself a new CD to listen to. Make sure it is filled with songs that empower you, songs like "I will love again", "Greyhound you're gone", "I will move on", etc...
9th) Make a list of all the red flags you missed in the relationship. Stuff like how all his ex-gfs were responsible for the breakups. The fool just couldn't take responsibility, could he? How about how he was always late for a date and always managed to turn it around and blame it on you somehow?
10th) Why not a cold beer straight out of the bottle? Since it was his opinion that a real lady would never drink beer from the bottle.
11th) Find any Tee-shirt or boxer shorts he might left behind and tear them into rags. Take the rags, some buttons, feathers, strings, etc.. and make up into a VOODOO DOLL. Make it as ugly as possible! Then, give it a goood, hard poke every time you think of him.
12th) Find a quiet place in your home to create an alter for yourself, to go alone and collect your thoughts and thanks can be given for the chance to start fresh. Grab a table or shoebox and cover it with lacy scarf, top it with candles and photos of yourself only, with aromatherapy and accessorize with your favourite jewelleries. Sit at your alter daily and mediate on what you want your life to be. Imagine a full rewarding life without the jerk.
13th) Host a party! or even better, a sex toy party. Get your girlfriends together and put on a little raunchy attitude.
14th) Make a list of top 10 "must haves", of your next boyfriend. Things like financial viability, big hands and feet, a vacation home in the island, short and plump, etc...just make sure he is worth your time and effort the next time around.
I'm sure you are getting the idea, aint you? That's how I took 1 month to get over my first love. It was short but fun. After that month, I went back work with a different attitude. Keep your hands busy so as to tame your thoughts; happiness is a state of mind.
Good Luck! -
If you love someone very deeply but the party actually doesn't love you the slightest bit... Would that make you happy?Originally posted by Bontakun:Hmm............
I understand if its btwn family, frens and aquaintances. BUT for guy/gal relationship I tink dat kind of love can be more happier and more fulfilling.
But I noe... To love some1 is to see them happy, even if you are not happy all da time. There are alwaes better waes though... so...........
If you love someone and that person also love you... But marrying her would mean a whole lot of hell from her family and relatives.. Would that make you very happy?
If you love someone and marrying her would means that you need to give up on your career plans or perhaps some vital goals of yours in life... Would you necessarily be genuinely happy...?
'Always better ways' like what....? -
Makes no regret that the happiness thing to do
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i followed my heart. Was with him for 7 years. But we were so different that we had so much differences. But how many 7 years i have to follow my heart?
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Who asked you to follow your heart blindly....?Originally posted by galfriend:i followed my heart. Was with him for 7 years. But we were so different that we had so much differences. But how many 7 years i have to follow my heart? -
Good one!Originally posted by Devil1976:Who asked you to follow your heart blindly....? -
happier of cuz.
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money can make one happy too
In pursuit of happiness, the difficulty lies in knowing when you have caught up. -
Loving someone doesn't really means the person has to love you back. It is called "one-sided", but I prefer calling "unconditional love". Yes I may not be as happy as I could be if she reciprocate, but I am happy simply knowing she is happy, whether she is with me or not.Originally posted by Devil1976:If you love someone very deeply but the party actually doesn't love you the slightest bit... Would that make you happy?
If you love someone and that person also love you... But marrying her would mean a whole lot of hell from her family and relatives.. Would that make you very happy?
If you love someone and marrying her would means that you need to give up on your career plans or perhaps some vital goals of yours in life... Would you necessarily be genuinely happy...?
'Always better ways' like what....?
If marrying her means a whole lot of hell from her family side means I would not be happy. But I marry her, not her family. Her family may give hell to me but I am prepared for it. If I am not prepared for this, I shldn't have gotten married in the 1st place, right?
Sometime marrying someone, there are sacrifices to be made. And yes many things I can do when I am single would have to be put aside. But dis only comes into account I have acknowledged what I has to sacrifice if I go into the vows of matrimony with her.
AND it will be better if we both understand each other well before the discussion of marriage comes in. Its when we know each other's strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, habits, hobbies, quirks, behaviours, lifestyle, beliefs, family, friends, etc, etc, then we decide if we are able to bring our relationship to another level: which is marriage and living together and many other things.
That is why I prefer not to jump into the "love wagon" without knowing the person well. What if I jumped in and found out she has many things I found it hard to live with? What if she found out I have things she cannot agree upon? In the end there are so many things we cannot agree on, we have to break up? Sorry, I rather not go into a relationship than going into one and end up breaking her heart and mine.
I know I cannot answer your question in red but I try my best to say it within my limited capabilities.
Loving someone is a hard thing to do. Can you love the people whom you hated? Can you love the people who are so good at backstabbing or havoc wrecking? Can you love people for who they are and what they can be capable of as a person in the future? Can you love someone knowing you do not get anything much for what you give? I can't do all those, but I am trying my best though.
I know all these seems like "wah" or "ooooh", and it may be like I am talking big. Basically I am talking BIG but I am trying my best to be capable of doing it unconditionally, that is why you see why I put my MSN nick as that. -
happy lo..
if u love deeply...thats u..how about the another 1 lei?
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marry someone you cannot live without