Love or happy?
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marry someone with happiness as
love deeply is not reversed -
Hmm... Ambitious.... Okay...Originally posted by Bontakun:Loving someone doesn't really means the person has to love you back. It is called "one-sided", but I prefer calling "unconditional love". Yes I may not be as happy as I could be if she reciprocate, but I am happy simply knowing she is happy, whether she is with me or not.
What if she's not happy knowing that you love her, but is instead irritated by your act?
If marrying her means a whole lot of hell from her family side means I would not be happy. But I marry her, not her family. Her family may give hell to me but I am prepared for it. If I am not prepared for this, I shldn't have gotten married in the 1st place, right?
What if her family is giving the 'hell' to her instead of you? Would you be 'happy' that she is making all these sacrifices for you...?
Sometime marrying someone, there are sacrifices to be made. And yes many things I can do when I am single would have to be put aside. But dis only comes into account I have acknowledged what I has to sacrifice if I go into the vows of matrimony with her.
Hmm...
AND it will be better if we both understand each other well before the discussion of marriage comes in. Its when we know each other's strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, habits, hobbies, quirks, behaviours, lifestyle, beliefs, family, friends, etc, etc, then we decide if we are able to bring our relationship to another level: which is marriage and living together and many other things.
What if the person you love actually change? Can you accept that?
That is why I prefer not to jump into the "love wagon" without knowing the person well. What if I jumped in and found out she has many things I found it hard to live with? What if she found out I have things she cannot agree upon? In the end there are so many things we cannot agree on, we have to break up? Sorry, I rather not go into a relationship than going into one and end up breaking her heart and mine.
How would you know without actually going into a relationship or even a marriage that things would go wrong or not ultimately?
I know I cannot answer your question in red but I try my best to say it within my limited capabilities.
Loving someone is a hard thing to do. Can you love the people whom you hated? Can you love the people who are so good at backstabbing or havoc wrecking? Can you love people for who they are and what they can be capable of as a person in the future? Can you love someone knowing you do not get anything much for what you give? I can't do all those, but I am trying my best though.
I know all these seems like "wah" or "ooooh", and it may be like I am talking big. Basically I am talking BIG but I am trying my best to be capable of doing it unconditionally, that is why you see why I put my MSN nick as that.
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Originally posted by Devil1976:
What if she's not happy knowing that you love her, but is instead irritated by your act?
If that is the case. I rather stay away from her if my presence is making her unhappy. And it also depends on what "act" I am acting upon. If its really ridiculous and obvious to outsiders' point of view, I rather they tell me straight to my face and I accept that I am being horrible to do that. Gimme some example of "being irritated by my act" leh... Liddat I can answer more.What if her family is giving the 'hell' to her instead of you? Would you be 'happy' that she is making all these sacrifices for you...?
This will depend on my relationship with her. If we are still in the dating stage, a "discussion" will be made. We will work out on how to convince her family that I will not only take good care of her as a man should, but also understand her family more and love them more. If they are STILL not happy, then I will have to ask her this, "Are you willing to spend your life with me even though this would means your parents may give you more "hell" than you can bear?" If yes, then I share her problem and face it together. If no, then I may be sad but for her family's sake and her own happiness with her family, I will suspend this relationship and focus more on being friends with her WHILE working on my relationship with her family.
What if the person you love actually change? Can you accept that?
This part is tricky. Knowing that I am Christian, I have to answer with reference to Christ in general to this part. If I marry a christian, even if she changed, one thing we both know and acknowledged: We have a common point to focus on... Christ himself and I believe that will keep us together even if she OR I changed.
However... If she is not Christian, this will be a little tougher to handle. She may change, but from the moment I decided she is the one whom I willing to put my life into her life and vice versa, my love for her will NOT change even if she changed OR I changed for that matters...
Besides, people change. Its for the better or worse that people around them tend to be more concerned about. Even so I will not stop loving them. If I am the one who changed, I hope its for the better and not the other way round. Pls tell me so if I become worse hor...
How would you know without actually going into a relationship or even a marriage that things would go wrong or not ultimately?
That is what "Hope" is all about! To me that is. I know many of you think, "Hope? Bleagh! Just a foolish man's wish or dreams." Yes I am foolish! Yes I am silly for pinning something so important on hope! But it is something that keeps me going when things are bleak. EVEN if the result is not what I prefered, I have no regrets or else I would not have invested in the first place.
Loving someone is a hard thing to do. Can you love the people whom you hated? Can you love the people who are so good at backstabbing or havoc wrecking? Can you love people for who they are and what they can be capable of as a person in the future? Can you love someone knowing you do not get anything much for what you give? I can't do all those, but I am trying my best though.
Hmm... Ambitious.... Okay... 
I know many of what I written seems BIG and exaggerated. BUT this is what I am doing... or at least TRYING to do. I know I can't do everything I have written but I do my best. People can call me a hypocrite or whatever, but I will do what I have said
BUT I oso need all your help on these too leh. I cant do these alone. Dat is y I need all your encouragements as much as I can encourage you all. -
Encourage you...?Originally posted by Bontakun:[b]
I know many of what I written seems BIG and exaggerated. BUT this is what I am doing... or at least TRYING to do. I know I can't do everything I have written but I do my best. People can call me a hypocrite or whatever, but I will do what I have said
BUT I oso need all your help on these too leh. I cant do these alone. Dat is y I need all your encouragements as much as I can encourage you all. 
I'm a devil lah. That's only what I can say for now.. 
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Dun sae liddat mah... Coz if I can even REFORM da "Devil" den woo hoo~~~!!! We help one another and encourage one another. Dats wat frens r for rite?
Oei, got read ALL my text in my previous posts? or you forgot?