I'm tired...
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Originally posted by SoonKeong:
'Zhi Dong' doesn't sounds like quite a good phrase to use when communicating with her?
I'm currently having this relationship with my gf for 3 years. All have been fine until she started working as an engineer months ago. She start to work 9am to 9pm, mon to sat, which meant only sunday is free for me.
I'm serving my ns now, which meant most of the time, i can only be out during the weekends. I dont know about the others, but i firmly believe a relationship can only last when it is been maintain together, example is like physically meeting and not only chat on phone or smses.
Things started to detoriate when i complain to her that i'm feeling very sian. Reason was i felt nelgected due to her work and she doesnt really make the effort to call me during lunch or dinner. Of course she did call once a while, but having a work which requires her to work the hours like she was having her final year exam, i felt there was a need for a more "quality" communication.
This week i was having my leave from monday to thursday. I told her why she couldnt be more "zhi dong" as in to come over to stay since we already have too little time for eachother. But as usual she will blow up and insist i dont understand her. What is the resonale behind this? I only ask her to be a little more zhi dong only to be slap across the face as branded as "not understanding " ? [b]Am i asking her too much when time is the one that is drifting us part?
Thus, she quarrel with me all the time saying things like i dont trust her and i'm too immature becoz i cant understand what she is doing. But seriously, who in the world can tolerate when he can only phyically see his gf once a week and weekdays was like strangers?
She never think of giving in when she was the one who is giving so much absences. And always like to think she is not in the fault and keep aruging in loud volume that she has no choice and i dont trust her and dont understand her.
Since long ago, she started to take things for granted. She no longer take the iniative to meet me at mrts during going out and instead always insist me waiting for her at mrts. She no longer buy me stuff where she used to buy me cute toys and sweets and even i complain hungry in camp, she never even think of buying things for me to eat in there. She no longer give in during quarrel and always insist i'm the one at fault.
Today i spot check her handphone and find that there is tonnes of this fucker who keep feeding her with smses and phone call. When been asked who the hell is he, she immediately blow out, as if she kana slapped in the face.
Honestly, is this what a gf should behave? i really dont know. I started to feel drifted becoz we are having quarrel more frequently then having dinner together. Keep saying want to maintain relationship but yet have this kinda thing and expect me to cool off and be a man?[/b]
Also, it's really not that healthy to point finger at each other in a relationship.. But instead to look for a practical solution if things ain't working would be more idea? -
I really think it goes both ways...Originally posted by SoonKeong: How i wish i could be so xiao sha. I'm this kind of guy who wants relationship to be on going, spend quality time and always have the spark going on. I had experiences of going into relationship and then things starts to gets very sian and no one makes the move to spark the relationship. Thus, i felt very sad and unappreciated when suddenly feeling for eachother gets less and less becoz of quarrel and less time together.
Sad to say, i talked to some of my best frens and most of them told me to break off. Since she already grow into such a state where she dont treasure the relationship anymore becoz she always quarrel and never really put in effort in this relationship. But deep down my heart, i really really dont wanna end it this way. Chasing her was already a feat and then for all those sacrifice and time loss for her, really se bu de to do anything. Tell me to relax give her more space, with only one day of meet up and very seldom communication, how much space can i still give her?
Besides... You're the one who's most unwilling to let go now? -
Hmm I read all the replies from page 1 until the last page...
And think you both shud quit checking on each other's hp messages...I believe that if there is sth that your gf wans u to know within those SMSes she will let you know herself, dun need you to go snooping around wor. This act of snooping around SMSes will make her feel like you do not trust her, and the worse thing is that you even start to probe more into those SMSes
i.e who is the guy who has been sending SMSes to her, etc.
Trust and communication are very important in a r/s. I believe it is the basic building blocks to a r/s, and w/o the basics, how is the r/s going to survive?