An abusive husband...
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Hi all,was wondering if there's anyway i can get help. Recently i've been unable to control my temper and venting my anger on my spouse. I would hit her but regretted it after that. Anyone can help me? I wouldn't want to hurt my beloved wife. It's really hard to control.
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get a punching bag.
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How can u hit a woman who's weaker? Do see some psychiatric help or go for some anger management course.
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Report to IMH and go for counselling...
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1. Apologise to your spouse.
2. See a psychologist or an anger-management therapist. -
I wonder...
when you hit your wife today, and buy her diamond rings or a car the next day to make up for it....is it okay?
hmm -
only if the diamond ring u buy her is big enough to leave a permanent scar on ur face when she punches you back...Originally posted by alexkusu:I wonder...
when you hit your wife today, and buy her diamond rings or a car the next day to make up for it....is it okay?
hmm
and oh, prefer the car, for her to ram u down when she've had enough.
Threadstarter: Get counselling for ur anger management asap dont wait until its too late. -
It was only until recently,i was able 2 control b4 that.
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LOSER. you marry a wife to pamper not to abuse. i feel ashamed to be a man now... u darn loser. buy a damn punching bag or pick a fight outside. be a MANOriginally posted by md_hate:Hi all,was wondering if there's anyway i can get help. Recently i've been unable to control my temper and venting my anger on my spouse. I would hit her but regretted it after that. Anyone can help me? I wouldn't want to hurt my beloved wife. It's really hard to control. -
A punching bag is good... Its a healthy was to vent your anger... For some reason, some people think that a concret wall is a good alternative...Originally posted by missqi:get a punching bag. -
No way!!Originally posted by alexkusu:I wonder...
when you hit your wife today, and buy her diamond rings or a car the next day to make up for it....is it okay?
hmm -
I think i would be a loser if i carry on like this,thats why i'm looking for help bro crossover. U can call me anything u like, wait till u get a wife who verbally abuses u. I'm hoping 2 find a way 2 stop all these and seriously,your post doesn't help. if thats the case, can i sincerely invite u not 2 post any comments here.thanks
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call SOS.
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i die oso wanna reply u loser. c'on my parents do quarrell but my dad always tell me. BOY REMB NEXT TIME WHEN U'RE MARRIED, NEVER BEAT UR WIFE UP. U SEE, I MARRY YOUR MUMMY TO PAMPER HER, NOT TO FIGHT WITH HER. my dad is a real MAN. not like you... seriously you suck la. not as if my mum dun verbal abuse my dad. so tmr if my tecaher verbally abuse me again for smoking in the toilet, i throw my darn chair at her?
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md_hate needs help. Constructive, not destructive comments are kindly appreciated.
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Hey kid...thats what my dad told me when i was young. Hope u understand when u grow up boy. No offence...And seriously,ur help is greatly not required here.Thanks. Go 2 bed, u have school tmr.
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and you have a kid. for ur baby's sake, be a good father... moreover you're 24 only... i wish you all the best. and ya ur baby is cute. =)
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I've nothing 2 hide,cos i'm in need.
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Then do as we say, and visit a psychologist or an anger-management therapist.Originally posted by md_hate:I've nothing 2 hide,cos i'm in need.
Pronto. -
If you don't admit to yourself that your problem requires the help of a trained professional then its useless since nothing said here can help you.
If you do decide to visit a family counselling service, do bring along your wife as well as it can be seen from your posts that both you and your wife are responsible. -
go for marriage counselling immediately
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1.
There must be something that stirred you to start hitting her. Could your wife be hitting the right sensitive spot on you that makes you lose control and hit her? If you can identify that, tell her to stop hitting that spot or you will be temped to hit her again.
2.
Do you have abusive tendencies? You need to vent your frustrations on someone? Let go in a more advantageous manner. Go running, to run out your frustrations and get fit. Take up a sport to keep you busy instead of staying at home, facing your wife and using her as a punching bag.
3. If your wife starts to fight back, both of you may end up in hospital.
4.
Your partner should always bring out the best in you. Not the worst in you. Have you considered why she brings out the worst in you?
5.
To start using your hands is a bad sign. If she brings in the authorities, you will be in trouble. Consider the law and the consequences before you start hitting her again.
6. Both of you may still be immature, that's why the fights.
7.
You both may have differing views? Not enough money? Somone is lazy and don't clean the house? Fighting over who is paying the bills? Find the solution to the problem instead of arguing and giving empty promises.
8. Last point
One person say less, so as not to fuel the situation. In heated moments, walk away and say " We will talk after you have cooled down". Take a walk, do something like listen to soothing music, take a bath. And TALK again later.
And after the fight, kiss and make up. Say sorry even if it is not your fault. Tough? Then just say "Im sorry we fought". It takes someone to start being soft and nice, and the other person may get softhearted and follow the way you do things. Treat the person how you want to be treated.
Good luck. Hope you can work it out. -
Final point, with all pride aside, read my signature. -
Hmmm, when your wife scold you......just be patient, listen to what she really mean behind all those words. For instance, she might be stressed because she thinks your money is not enough, or you dont spend enough time, or some other issue. Listen carefully and think what she really mean and why she's like that. Sometimes a person become angry and verbally abuse you, not because they want to, but because they also can't help it, due to pent up issues.
Next,
After your wife is scolding you for some time, you just have to acknowledge her, try to mildy interrupt her sentences. You tell her you understand, give her a nod, a smile, a soothing word. You have to let her know that you already 'accept' or 'receive' her grievances, that she already successfully communicate her issues. Dont keep quiet or put up a black face, because that will just enrage her more, and she will continue on to verbally abuse you. If you dont really understand what's the issue, ask some questions mildly. You have to acknowledge it and promise her to resolve the issue. Give her the feeling that you already 'understand' , already 'receive.' Dont let her continue the verbal abuse and make you lose temper.
Next,
If you really cant communicate, cant calm her down, cant ask questions, and cant keep patient anymore, and you are just about to blow up yourself, quickly go off to another room or another place, because you yourself need to calm down. Just go off, away from her, better than blowing up there and hit her. Next time try to talk to her.
Next,
If you cant go away to anywhere, say in a small room or whatever, and you are just about to blow off, on the last moment quickly vent it on a furniture, dont hit her. Just release your anger on something. If you have a plate, smash the plate down. It will release your anger very well. Furthermore most likely your wife will be stunned and realize you're very angry. Remember this is the last option. This is better than releasing your anger at your wife by hitting her.
I wish you well,
Regards,
#$%^&*
PS: for fundamental resolve of the issue, see if you need third party mediation, like marriage counsellors (this is for the issues like not enough money, not enough time, etc, which bugs her in the first place). -
i agree with this. easy to understand, im sure you have your complications too.Originally posted by fudgester:1. Apologise to your spouse.
2. See a psychologist or an anger-management therapist.