feeling very depressed... my fault? i dunno....
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really feeling so down right now... kinda had an arguement with my gf just now... over something which i felt rather triffle... but yet maybe im just the type who overlooks everything tat seems 'triffle' to me...
dun even have the courage to blog down my emotions and feelings.. for fear tat she might see the post and cause more implications.. ha... *wimpy me*... one thing ive learnt very hard in this r/s is.... speak less = less trouble...
the arguement broke out when she suddenly commented that we only had our neo-print done once... and last time (several mths) back when she said that we only got 1 neo-print kinda thing.. i only responded with a "oh.." tts all. and like nvr agree to bring her to take another shot of us together.... (the main issue here aint about the neo-print.. more like she feels tat i very half-hearted in all these things... and shes like constantly trying to heat up our r/s but yet get a cold response from me..)
from this point.. it then further developed into a bigger topic... its with regards to our anniversaries and dates......
in my point... i regarded our first time together...our first 100 days... our first 6mths and our anniversaries as of importance to me... but i made her haf the feeling that i didnt care about our mths.. i just wanna calculate days.. which i already lost count by now... btw.. its our mid-7th mth now.. gonna enter to our 8th mth in another 2wks or so.....
hence she really feels tat i dun care less about our r/s... all the testimonials she sent me... all the things she had done for our memorable days... and ive like nutting in return..... which i felt tat i had done them as well.. our first day together.. i booked a place at jack's place.. order flowers.. bought her a necklace..... all that prepartion thing..... then our 6mths.. i bought her a ring as an indication that i really love her and would like to bring our r/s to greater heights... i really do.... our anniversary.. well.. its not here yet....
i dunno.... did i do something wrong?... or maybe all these things tat i do are just materialistic? but i put in alot of effort in planning and making them happen..
y is all this happening?? just when i tot that the turbulances are all over... every is peaceful and calm right now.. both of us settled down and such... really... just when i felt this way.... this issue now blows right straight into my face...
it hurts... im really feeling dam sad now... y.... y so sudden.....
but ya... she aint initiating anything tat i hope she might..... just tat this 'quarrel' of ours... make me really very sad............. its like so wtf... y so out of the blue...
really very heartbroken right now.... -
err.... use your mobile to remind u of the months/dates etc lor... aiyah... zar bors your age all want 'romantic romantic'.... me actually can oni remember months but not days.... like that count very 'siong'... tok to her whether can just remember months or not lor.... think what most zar bors want is to feel that the dar bors are listening.... not just 'orr' and then one ear in, another ear out.... next time ask again or mention again, the dar bors say 'huh? got meh?' we will feel that the dar bors very 'bo sim' ....
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oh.. ok.. i get wad u mean.... thx... but... somethings i dun think its 'bo sim'... just u know... didnt think too much...Originally posted by sacredspirits:err.... use your mobile to remind u of the months/dates etc lor... aiyah... zar bors your age all want 'romantic romantic'.... me actually can oni remember months but not days.... like that count very 'siong'... tok to her whether can just remember months or not lor.... think what most zar bors want is to feel that the dar bors are listening.... not just 'orr' and then one ear in, another ear out.... next time ask again or mention again, the dar bors say 'huh? got meh?' we will feel that the dar bors very 'bo sim' ....
sigh... i think i haf a major problem myself... -
How long you've been together?Originally posted by tir4misu:really feeling so down right now... kinda had an arguement with my gf just now... over something which i felt rather triffle... but yet maybe im just the type who overlooks everything tat seems 'triffle' to me...
dun even have the courage to blog down my emotions and feelings.. for fear tat she might see the post and cause more implications.. ha... *wimpy me*... one thing ive learnt very hard in this r/s is.... speak less = less trouble...
the arguement broke out when she suddenly commented that we only had our neo-print done once... and last time (several mths) back when she said that we only got 1 neo-print kinda thing.. i only responded with a "oh.." tts all. and like nvr agree to bring her to take another shot of us together.... (the main issue here aint about the neo-print.. more like she feels tat i very half-hearted in all these things... and shes like constantly trying to heat up our r/s but yet get a cold response from me..)
from this point.. it then further developed into a bigger topic... its with regards to our anniversaries and dates......
in my point... i regarded our first time together...our first 100 days... our first 6mths and our anniversaries as of importance to me... but i made her haf the feeling that i didnt care about our mths.. i just wanna calculate days.. which i already lost count by now... btw.. its our mid-7th mth now.. gonna enter to our 8th mth in another 2wks or so.....
hence she really feels tat i dun care less about our r/s... all the testimonials she sent me... all the things she had done for our memorable days... and ive like nutting in return..... which i felt tat i had done them as well.. our first day together.. i booked a place at jack's place.. order flowers.. bought her a necklace..... all that prepartion thing..... then our 6mths.. i bought her a ring as an indication that i really love her and would like to bring our r/s to greater heights... i really do.... our anniversary.. well.. its not here yet....
i dunno.... did i do something wrong?... or maybe all these things tat i do are just materialistic? but i put in alot of effort in planning and making them happen..
y is all this happening?? just when i tot that the turbulances are all over... every is peaceful and calm right now.. both of us settled down and such... really... just when i felt this way.... this issue now blows right straight into my face...
it hurts... im really feeling dam sad now... y.... y so sudden.....
but ya... she aint initiating anything tat i hope she might..... just tat this 'quarrel' of ours... make me really very sad............. its like so wtf... y so out of the blue...
really very heartbroken right now.... -
speak less = less trouble...
this is very true for me..
so .. i..
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this is close to our 8th mth together leOriginally posted by Devil1976:How long you've been together? -
haha... i cant help but agree wif u man..Originally posted by SGpork:speak less = less trouble...
this is very true for me..
so .. i..
sigh.... hafta keep making sure i dun say anything stupid...
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Cheer up buddy, we all have our hang ups from time to time. Life's a roller coaster ride with its ups and downs. So enjoy it................
There's a saying: Bu da bu xiang shi.
but I think you've got your lesson learnt wrongly: talk less=less trouble.
It should be talk less but listen and communicate more (with your gf lah!)
Take this in a positive way and you'll learn more with time and experience and the best thing about being down is that when you've hit rock bottom, there's no way else you can go but up! -
Erm.. You can try doing something romantic for your 8th anniversary that's coming up.. Can try to give her a surprise or anything.. Just do something so as to prove that you care about the relationship..
Well.. You can just request her to tell you straight what she expects and what she actually wants.. She can't expect you to know what she wants if she chooses to remain quiet.. There can't be such telepathy between people bah.. Instead of placing so much hope on you knowing what she wants.. It's better to speak out isn't it..?
Hope my comment helps.. Cheers.. -
let her know you do things differently...everyone does so...
you did show her care...just that your care is not what she expect...
so...once in a while...put in more effort and do something for her that makes her think u care...
girls like to be pampered la... -
you don't really have to celebrate every month kinda sh*t. maybe sometimes.. just exchange lil' gifts and all. a lil' sweet gesture would really work.
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Many things in a relationship is just 'representatives'... When true test come, you probably won't be tested based on those 'subjects'....Originally posted by tir4misu:this is close to our 8th mth together le
Give her more concern that she deserves and the neccesary attention that she seeks... Other pampers that you wastefully give could only be your own contempt to breed... -
Is it just me or does that sound like a helluva lot of redundant hard work?
What's with this counting days thing? What's the significance of how long you've been together? Not that eight months will get you into any record books, mind you.
Sheesh, if I were to count the number of days my fiancee and I have been together, I'd fall out of my tree. I do remember anniversaries and birthdays, but that's it.
When I get bored I'll arrange for something silly like hot-air balloning. My fiancee has no idea what I'm going to do next, or if I'm going to do anything, and that keeps things interesting. if I were to make a daily log of how many days we've been together, the predictability would take all the fun out of things.
And what the devil's a neo-print? -
Originally posted by Gedanken:
neo prints are small photos which you can take @ those japanese machines
Is it just me or does that sound like a helluva lot of redundant hard work?
What's with this counting days thing? What's the significance of how long you've been together? Not that eight months will get you into any record books, mind you.
Sheesh, if I were to count the number of days my fiancee and I have been together, I'd fall out of my tree. I do remember anniversaries and birthdays, but that's it.
When I get bored I'll arrange for something silly like hot-air balloning. My fiancee has no idea what I'm going to do next, or if I'm going to do anything, and that keeps things interesting. if I were to make a daily log of how many days we've been together, the predictability would take all the fun out of things.
[b]And what the devil's a neo-print?[/b]
usually comes as a sticker -
< talk less but listen and communicate more >Originally posted by :Cheer up buddy, we all have our hang ups from time to time. Life's a roller coaster ride with its ups and downs. So enjoy it................
There's a saying: Bu da bu xiang shi.
but I think you've got your lesson learnt wrongly: talk less=less trouble.
It should be talk less but listen and communicate more (with your gf lah!)
Take this in a positive way and you'll learn more with time and experience and the best thing about being down is that when you've hit rock bottom, there's no way else you can go but up!
hmm nvr tot about that... thx dude... i guess i really nid to listen more... and listen well.. not just one ear in and the other one out... -
tts wad ive been trying to do for the past few mths of our r/s.. to get her to talk it out and tell me wad she wans...Originally posted by d3sT1nY:Erm.. You can try doing something romantic for your 8th anniversary that's coming up.. Can try to give her a surprise or anything.. Just do something so as to prove that you care about the relationship..
Well.. You can just request her to tell you straight what she expects and what she actually wants.. She can't expect you to know what she wants if she chooses to remain quiet.. There can't be such telepathy between people bah.. Instead of placing so much hope on you knowing what she wants.. It's better to speak out isn't it..?
Hope my comment helps.. Cheers..
but.. she dun like to say everything out cause she feels tat in tat way... im just doing it cause she says it.. she kinda wans me to find out wad shes thinking and how she feels.... (which im a pretty bad blockhead to do so..)
and when she says it out... (here comes the trouble)... she wont wan me to do it liao... as in... she feels tat it is no point anymore since she has to say it...
when this happens... im really stuck and lost.... -
i guess u r rite... sigh... sometimes i really wonder wad is expected of me -.-...... just when i tot everything is smooth sailing and all is fine... this happens....Originally posted by R3SsH|n:let her know you do things differently...everyone does so...
you did show her care...just that your care is not what she expect...
so...once in a while...put in more effort and do something for her that makes her think u care...
girls like to be pampered la... -
meaning some of this things which ive done... is just wasteful? meaning... i did wad i thought was gd but it infact isnt?Originally posted by Devil1976:Many things in a relationship is just 'representatives'... When true test come, you probably won't be tested based on those 'subjects'....
Give her more concern that she deserves and the neccesary attention that she seeks... Other pampers that you wastefully give could only be your own contempt to breed... -
hahhaha well... a neo-print is those kinda machines that take pictures.. u know.... those big photo sticker machines hahaOriginally posted by Gedanken:Is it just me or does that sound like a helluva lot of redundant hard work?
What's with this counting days thing? What's the significance of how long you've been together? Not that eight months will get you into any record books, mind you.
Sheesh, if I were to count the number of days my fiancee and I have been together, I'd fall out of my tree. I do remember anniversaries and birthdays, but that's it.
When I get bored I'll arrange for something silly like hot-air balloning. My fiancee has no idea what I'm going to do next, or if I'm going to do anything, and that keeps things interesting. if I were to make a daily log of how many days we've been together, the predictability would take all the fun out of things.
And what the devil's a neo-print?
anyway.. i get wad u are trying to say... tts wad i see too... but maybe.. gals look in diff. perspectives from guys?.. -
youre so emo
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Well, dude, if you guys are going to make it in the long run, she's going to have to get used to you. Can you imagine saying that you've been together for 3650 days and copping it because you didn't account for leap years?Originally posted by tir4misu:anyway.. i get wad u are trying to say... tts wad i see too... but maybe.. gals look in diff. perspectives from guys?..
Different people have different ways of expressing themselves. Maybe get a copy of Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages" and both of you read it. It's fairly easy to understand, and if you're having a hard time figuring each other out, it does help make things simpler. -
i tell u.... u will be too if u are me right now....Originally posted by imDANIEL:youre so emo
shes just so precious to me.. like a diamond in my hands.. i dun wanna cause any fragments to it... which a small hiccup might just cause that fragment to happen -
oooo ok thx! it sounds like a great book to read up on thxOriginally posted by Gedanken:Well, dude, if you guys are going to make it in the long run, she's going to have to get used to you. Can you imagine saying that you've been together for 3650 days and copping it because you didn't account for leap years?
Different people have different ways of expressing themselves. Maybe get a copy of Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages" and both of you read it. It's fairly easy to understand, and if you're having a hard time figuring each other out, it does help make things simpler. -
Hmm.. Ask her best friend..? Ask her best friend to strike up a conversation about the topic lor.. Like what would she think would be romantic to do during anniversaries.. Unless you don't know her best friend lah..Originally posted by tir4misu:tts wad ive been trying to do for the past few mths of our r/s.. to get her to talk it out and tell me wad she wans...
but.. she dun like to say everything out cause she feels tat in tat way... im just doing it cause she says it.. she kinda wans me to find out wad shes thinking and how she feels.... (which im a pretty bad blockhead to do so..)
and when she says it out... (here comes the trouble)... she wont wan me to do it liao... as in... she feels tat it is no point anymore since she has to say it...
when this happens... im really stuck and lost....
Then maybe can try going out more with her.. Try your best to notice her movements and what she likes to see.. Sometimes staying in one shop for a longer period of time may means something too.. Like she may like something in the shop and hoping that you'll notice what she is noticing.. -
Originally posted by tir4misu:really feeling so down right now... kinda had an arguement with my gf just now... over something which i felt rather triffle... but yet maybe im just the type who overlooks everything tat seems 'triffle' to me...
dun even have the courage to blog down my emotions and feelings.. for fear tat she might see the post and cause more implications.. ha... *wimpy me*... one thing ive learnt very hard in this r/s is.... speak less = less trouble...
the arguement broke out when she suddenly commented that we only had our neo-print done once... and last time (several mths) back when she said that we only got 1 neo-print kinda thing.. i only responded with a "oh.." tts all. and like nvr agree to bring her to take another shot of us together.... (the main issue here aint about the neo-print.. more like she feels tat i very half-hearted in all these things... and shes like constantly trying to heat up our r/s but yet get a cold response from me..)
from this point.. it then further developed into a bigger topic... its with regards to our anniversaries and dates......
in my point... i regarded our first time together...our first 100 days... our first 6mths and our anniversaries as of importance to me... but i made her haf the feeling that i didnt care about our mths.. i just wanna calculate days.. which i already lost count by now... btw.. its our mid-7th mth now.. gonna enter to our 8th mth in another 2wks or so.....
hence she really feels tat i dun care less about our r/s... all the testimonials she sent me... all the things she had done for our memorable days... and ive like nutting in return..... which i felt tat i had done them as well.. our first day together.. i booked a place at jack's place.. order flowers.. bought her a necklace..... all that prepartion thing..... then our 6mths.. i bought her a ring as an indication that i really love her and would like to bring our r/s to greater heights... i really do.... our anniversary.. well.. its not here yet....
i dunno.... did i do something wrong?... or maybe all these things tat i do are just materialistic? but i put in alot of effort in planning and making them happen..
y is all this happening?? just when i tot that the turbulances are all over... every is peaceful and calm right now.. both of us settled down and such... really... just when i felt this way.... this issue now blows right straight into my face...
it hurts... im really feeling dam sad now... y.... y so sudden.....
but ya... she aint initiating anything tat i hope she might..... just tat this 'quarrel' of ours... make me really very sad............. its like so wtf... y so out of the blue...
really very heartbroken right now....
I have to agree with Gedanken and your woman; I don't see a point in 'told romanticism' and 'routine surprises' because it makes your relationship seemed more like an obligation than love truly.
I believe most girls will attempt to induce their boyfriend to be more sensitive towards their romance/emotional needs. But I firmly believe that it shouldn't overshadow what the heart truly feels and how u feels towards her. Romance is but a tool to foster better relationship; at the rate you are going, if it is going to create arguments between 'who's giving more', then it defeats the purpose of being loving and end up quarreling.
Learn as you love - you still have a long way to go man.
P.S: Wah rao...like that also can quarrel. Don't always take it too hard every time u argue with her. Always take it as a channel to understand the woman you are getting and ways to evolve to a better boyfriend. Nobody is born knowing how to handle their partner, we all learn along the way.
I won't post this at my side, just in case she check my side.
Cheers