Heads or Tails?
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As the subject head goes...Heads or Tails. There's always two sides to the story. Since the lasttime I posted here...I've patched back with my ex gf. All is well till August...I'm posting about it now, because I really love her and feel that what's going on is not healthy for our relationship or any relationship at all.
I wonder all the time, what women want. Simply take for example...she asks me for help, of course as a boyfriend, I would do my best to assist her. But she's not thankful or grateful,she will say things like "I got ask you to help meh, kaypo." and when seeing her in trouble sometimes I delibrately ignore her, she will whine saying "What kinf of a boyfriend are you? I don't like guys like that, so ungentlemanly...you cannot see I need help meh?" Its like...if I help, I get told off, if I don't, I also get told off.
Just two months ago, I bought 4D for the first time in my live, and I won $500. I did not tell her about it,I just asked her out and brought her to eat and buy her stuff. She went back and told her friends that she suspects that I'm cheating on her because I suddenly treat her so well. I mean its like...heck...when I treat her well, she suspects I'm cheating, when I'm cold...she says I don't love her.
She told me that she's sick of being in a r-ship and wants out. But if she really wants out, why would she ask me to go all the way to print stuff for her at Peace Centre, then deliver it all the way to school which is in Tampines when I've got nothing on in school at all. I just made the trip there to submit her work and return home. Sighz...I hope some women can shed some light on what she really wants.
I just saw her blog, she wants a new wallet. I agree too, the Billabong wallet I got her 2yrs back is rather old and dirty already. I've no qualms spending on brands like Jane Shilton etc, so long its below $100 as I'm a student and though I work part-time I pay my bills and hardly take allowance from my parents. She's eyeing a LV monogram wallet. Personally, I feel that being a poly student and only 19yrs old, even if I had the financial means to buy her the LV wallet, her friends and others will think that its a fake right?I thought of this as when she bought her pair of Papillio which I paid for, her friends who own the Neckerman or copy versions, said that her's is fake too. To me I feel that its not the brand, but its whether the person using it has that status that aura to go with the brand.
Sighz...I really don't know what she wants. For everything I do, there seems to be two sides of it and both sides seem equally bleak. I really love her but things cannot go on like this, we can't hold a proper conversation about our r-ship as she always ends up flaring up and blocking me in MSN and not replying my sms/calls. Women out there...please help me understand one of your comrades, all I've wanted is to be a better boyfriend.
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Can tell she is from Temasek Poly
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u still young la, theres definitely bettter ones tat will appreciate u lo... the best is u go talk to her to sort things out, if fails then better to leave...
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Yes, thats what my friends say too. But its just that I really really love her alot. My other female friends were quite stunned when I asked them for solutions. Because they've always seen guys being quick on the rebound from the end of a relationship.But I can't...I really really love her alot.And the typical talks we have, usually end up with her crying and ignoring me. Its quite sickening to think of it to say the least, as why is it that other couples can be so successful in their r-ship but I can't?I've always always envied those elderly couples in their 60s,70s and 80s and are still very affectionate about each other.Sighz...Originally posted by BrUtUs:u still young la, theres definitely bettter ones tat will appreciate u lo... the best is u go talk to her to sort things out, if fails then better to leave... -
GIRLs are like that ((:
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When I read your first paragraph, I know the answer immediately. You can never go back to your previous r/s when it's over. Because the scar is there. Previously, who initiated the breakup? Was it her? I think it shd be that case.Originally posted by SpecOps87:As the subject head goes...Heads or Tails. There's always two sides to the story. Since the lasttime I posted here...I've patched back with my ex gf. All is well till August...I'm posting about it now, because I really love her and feel that what's going on is not healthy for our relationship or any relationship at all.
I wonder all the time, what women want. Simply take for example...she asks me for help, of course as a boyfriend, I would do my best to assist her. But she's not thankful or grateful,she will say things like "I got ask you to help meh, kaypo." and when seeing her in trouble sometimes I delibrately ignore her, she will whine saying "What kinf of a boyfriend are you? I don't like guys like that, so ungentlemanly...you cannot see I need help meh?" Its like...if I help, I get told off, if I don't, I also get told off.
Just two months ago, I bought 4D for the first time in my live, and I won $500. I did not tell her about it,I just asked her out and brought her to eat and buy her stuff. She went back and told her friends that she suspects that I'm cheating on her because I suddenly treat her so well. I mean its like...heck...when I treat her well, she suspects I'm cheating, when I'm cold...she says I don't love her.
She told me that she's sick of being in a r-ship and wants out. But if she really wants out, why would she ask me to go all the way to print stuff for her at Peace Centre, then deliver it all the way to school which is in Tampines when I've got nothing on in school at all. I just made the trip there to submit her work and return home. Sighz...I hope some women can shed some light on what she really wants.
I just saw her blog, she wants a new wallet. I agree too, the Billabong wallet I got her 2yrs back is rather old and dirty already. I've no qualms spending on brands like Jane Shilton etc, so long its below $100 as I'm a student and though I work part-time I pay my bills and hardly take allowance from my parents. She's eyeing a LV monogram wallet. Personally, I feel that being a poly student and only 19yrs old, even if I had the financial means to buy her the LV wallet, her friends and others will think that its a fake right?I thought of this as when she bought her pair of Papillio which I paid for, her friends who own the Neckerman or copy versions, said that her's is fake too. To me I feel that its not the brand, but its whether the person using it has that status that aura to go with the brand.
Sighz...I really don't know what she wants. For everything I do, there seems to be two sides of it and both sides seem equally bleak. I really love her but things cannot go on like this, we can't hold a proper conversation about our r-ship as she always ends up flaring up and blocking me in MSN and not replying my sms/calls. Women out there...please help me understand one of your comrades, all I've wanted is to be a better boyfriend.
How did you two get back again in the first place? Was it you or her who wanted it back? I suspect she dumped you first and then she cannot find any substitute and returned to you.
You might not like what I am going to say now.
You are like many of the NICE guys out there who gave in to her every silly requests and demands. You are too weak, guy. She is bored of you because you were too available and everytime say 'yes' to her. Let her know you are not happy and she can happily end this relationship. Let her know you are pissed and you can walk away independently. Come'on you tell me: You treated her so nicely and and you bought her the wallet? Is that how you treat a girl when she treated you like crap?
She is bored and she is trying to get rid of you. She might not know what she is doing because of her low feelings or is it because of her sucky character or both. I say it's both. She is trying to make you feel pissed so you can get rid of her. This is how the female behaves. (Don't get me wrong. Im not anti-female. I love females)
She blocked you on MSN and did not return your calls/MSN. Is that high feelings on her part? R/s is abt give and take. Do you think she is taking or giving? I believe your brain tells you to stop it but your heart says continue. What I can suggest is back off and don't try to fix things. The more you do it, the worse it gets. Back off and allow things to clear up.
Please don't try to seek opinions on how to gain back her love because it shoud be the other way round. Because what you are doing is actually demeaning yourself.
If you value your face, that is. -
I just don't know what to say...its like girls as friends,buddies and pals, they rock. They can be the most charming female you have in your life, however, once you tackle them...its like they start sprouting horns. Sighz...
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Of course if they are only your friends they can be real nice. They like to appear nice in front of you. Im not saying all are like that. But once you are with them as steady and if they are sick of you either because you turned them off or because they are demanding or both you are gone. Sometimes, it's like a test, sometimes they are really turned off. Either ways, don't expect to be treated like crap. What you deserve is equal respect from her for an enjoyable relationship. I bet you never let her know you want deserve respect from her. Did she say "thanks" when you bought her stuffs or help her? No? I expect her not to do this. She expects to be a princess.Originally posted by SpecOps87:I just don't know what to say...its like girls as friends,buddies and pals, they rock. They can be the most charming female you have in your life, however, once you tackle them...its like they start sprouting horns. Sighz... -
She is spoilt by you leh.
taking and taking nia.. does she ever give? -
She gives by being there for me sometimes and motivating me in terms of my studies.Sighz...I'm at a loss....
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Supports you sometimes? What is it about her that you can't live without, that you can't be happy? And what does she need you for?
It seems to me that she's taking you for granted. You could do with someone who's much less childish than this. -
I've always treated people the way I hope for them to treat me. And obviously I don't treat her shitty as I don't wished to be treated shitty. However, I've got a problem here being that..her friends in Poly are like corrupting her. To begin with, she's got a weak character and is easily influenced under the ever present peer pressure.I'm from an average family and I work part-time as much as possible to pay for my own bills and expenditure. And obviously I can't afford the luxury items or bring her to extravagant overseas trips to Japan,Korea like her best friend's boyfriend who is also a student but happens to be born with a platinum spoon jammed up his ass. So this friend of hers together with the priviledged few are always showing off...sighz...I mean I feel that its nothing. But she's quite affected by it and upset that I do have the financial ability to do the same for her.Sighz...
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It seems to me when she got back together with you she did not treat you like crap initially.
HOWEVER: the reason why it is a mistake to get back together is because girls have very good memories when it comes to love. She remembers everything you did and she still cannot take it when she is still with you again. She remembered why you did not do this last time. Every single action makes her turn off.
Whether she did it intentionally or she just cannot help it, either ways she made you suffer. Girls are just different from guys. You need to be aware of this. -
You've got to realise that her susceptibility to peer pressure is going to be a big strain on your resources down the road, unless she changes her crowd or you decide you have to say 'no' more often.Originally posted by SpecOps87:However, I've got a problem here being that..her friends in Poly are like corrupting her. To begin with, she's got a weak character and is easily influenced under the ever present peer pressure.I'm from an average family and I work part-time as much as possible to pay for my own bills and expenditure. And obviously I can't afford the luxury items or bring her to extravagant overseas trips to Japan,Korea like her best friend's boyfriend who is also a student but happens to be born with a platinum spoon jammed up his ass. So this friend of hers together with the priviledged few are always showing off...sighz...I mean I feel that its nothing. But she's quite affected by it and upset that I do have the financial ability to do the same for her.Sighz...
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haha~~~~~~If u can't take her shit, just break up lor~~~like what most off the ppl think, once break up b4, can never go back to the same like last time....I think u urself know that u have thought of breaking up, just that u want to come here to have more ppl view on ur suitation....Just break up la, u deserve a better one lor............gers in this age and this generation is all like that one, see whether the guy handsome or not, rich or not...but they often overlook whether these guy have gd character a not.......
If ur heart tells u u should end this thing, just follow ur heart lor.....
take care.... -
My mind tells me that this has gotta end and that I should not put up with it. However, my heart tells me to hold on, that she will see the sincerity in me and will change.Sighz...
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Then Im sorry to say if you follow your heart, you are being WEAK. Women don't like weak guys, period. For all the talk about sincerity, it's useless as long as you are perceived as being weak.Originally posted by SpecOps87:My mind tells me that this has gotta end and that I should not put up with it. However, my heart tells me to hold on, that she will see the sincerity in me and will change.Sighz... -
Imagine living like this for the next few decades of your life?
My friend, time to pull the brakes on this one before the car crashes and everyone dies. -
hahha... hmmm... from what i think... anf through my personal experience... when you both just met... dont always pamper the girls.. cause when you both are still new together. you dont know or rather you both of u will know what are u all expecting from each other.. so the best is, dont pamper her... when its time to give.. give... when it is not... dont...
but as for your case... i think she is a bit too ulu... haha... too good to her say u cheat on her... too cold say u dont love... then u ask her... how she want from you.. hahah call her to teach you... lol
remember.. dont because of a tree, burn down the entire forest...
OR
There are many fishes in the Pooondd! -
Frankly, my peers and family judge me to be a perfectly practical and rational person and they do not know of this problem. Only a few of my guy friends and girl friends know about this. Its like, I can make decisions about things in less then a minute irregardless of what it is, and all are swift and decisive. But when it comes to relationship...sighz...its like when my friends have relationship problems, I can suggest to them very practically and be very level-headed about it. But when its my own...its a different ballgame altogether...Sighz..
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haiz...
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in the first place you should have told her you won 4D. women are constantly suspicious, and the tiniest thing can spark a huge quarrel.
she's just taking you for granted. that's it. -
women...women...
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I mean its not about the winning you see. For me I like to throw her surprises and see the smile on her face when she is surprised. Also, there was once I bought chocolates for a good buddy's birthday, she's upset as she's never ate that brand before. End up...I bought her 1 box the next day, and guess what. She ate 1 chocolate from the box, and let the rest spoil.Its $40+ lor...sighz...when I asked her bout it, she said this,"You don't know I don't like chocolate meh?"Haiz...
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Hey, a good deal of relationships doesn't work out and I think that in your case at this point in time base on the information that you are providing, its not working. Maybe she wants something that you cannot provide and maybe she's just not matured enough to be in a relationship, but its quite clearly that neither of you are happy in this relationship. As Dr Phil says, don't ask what is right, ask what is working. If the relationship is not working, you need to sit down and seriously ask her if she wants to carry on and put the effort in to make it work. If not, then no matter how painful and awkward it is, please get out of it.