forumites, help needed on uncertain things.
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some uncertainty, doubts.
brief background
know her for a long time, since secondary, only got close recently.
positive signals
she goes out with me, like the two of us.(not always though)
(she's selective when going out with boys, she dont go out with all boys)
she dont really fancy watching movies, i love watching movies.
(but after we got "close", she started asking for movies)
on the negative side
she sometimes rejects me when i ask her out
(why?)
feel that she's avoiding me
(slow msn reply all of a sudden when i ask her out/ask to talk on phone)
at first it was rocky. We then got close and slowly started going out, having long chats on msn. Now the situation changed again, somehow avoiding me.(just feeling that it is) but sometimes she does talk to me in sucha way that we are more that just friends.
whats wrong?
p.s its just a brief description, i can elaborate even further if you need on some parts you dont understand/ need more explanation before evaluating.
cheers.
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How long have you known her?
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six years, she has always been my dream girl when i first saw her last time. Count myself lucky to still get the chance when we are only like on/off friends for the past few yearsOriginally posted by ^spidee^:How long have you known her? -
yea...u are really lucky...
so wad u want to come out of this current relationship? -
Put off to a further date, as far as i'm concerned. Its too early for us(yes, selfish), i just hope to be closer when i'm in my national service.Originally posted by R3SsH|n:yea...u are really lucky...
so wad u want to come out of this current relationship?
The problems are why are things happening? i dont understand it and i'm pretty confused and bugged by it all day long. I cant really do things with ease, its hard you know. -
wad reason she gave to deny you when u ask her out ?Originally posted by contagious-nerd:Put off to a further date, as far as i'm concerned. Its too early for us(yes, selfish), i just hope to be closer when i'm in my national service.
The problems are why are things happening? i dont understand it and i'm pretty confused and bugged by it all day long. I cant really do things with ease, its hard you know. -
well u didnt claimed she's intrested in u rite?
so i take it ur friends?
if so,she didnt look at u as a partner,juz a normal friend -
She is just treating you as a friend.
They know you like them. They know they dont like you. But they just dont want to tell because they are afraid that they will lose a friend if they do so. -
she will usually hesitate, normally she's fine with it(cause i always ask her at the right time). In the end i know its awkard that she didnt want to answer me, like "i'll let you know again?" then i'll just reply her that we cancel today before she denys me.Originally posted by R3SsH|n:wad reason she gave to deny you when u ask her out ? -
thanksOriginally posted by 0lala:well u didnt claimed she's intrested in u rite?
so i take it ur friends?
if so,she didnt look at u as a partner,juz a normal friend -
thanks so what you suggest thenOriginally posted by Pitot:She is just treating you as a friend.
They know you like them. They know they dont like you. But they just dont want to tell because they are afraid that they will lose a friend if they do so. -
I'm not saying it is this way. just offering another side of the story.Originally posted by contagious-nerd:thanks so what you suggest then
You know, man sometimes think with their lower brains.
So they may be afraid of losing you. As a friend that is.
If you cherish this friendship, then remain like this. If you will go somewhere, don't rush. The time will come. -
thanks, i really need that.Originally posted by Pitot:I'm not saying it is this way. just offering another side of the story.
You know, man sometimes think with their lower brains.
So they may be afraid of losing you. As a friend that is.
If you cherish this friendship, then remain like this. If you will go somewhere, don't rush. The time will come.
i need more advice when time comes
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thanks, i really need that.Originally posted by Pitot:I'm not saying it is this way. just offering another side of the story.
You know, man sometimes think with their lower brains.
So they may be afraid of losing you. As a friend that is.
If you cherish this friendship, then remain like this. If you will go somewhere, don't rush. The time will come.
i need more advice when time comes -
any advices on how to continue from here
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She's not sure of her feelings for u. Probably drifting towards the "friend" side.
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are you sure? i think i'll just take a few step back and concentrate on being friends for now, though pain.Originally posted by Rock^Star:She's not sure of her feelings for u. Probably drifting towards the "friend" side. I dont want to lose everything(her). Taking a step at a time from now on. Thanks man -
Sorry, forgive me if i may sound patronising.Originally posted by contagious-nerd:are you sure? i think i'll just take a few step back and concentrate on being friends for now, though pain. I dont want to lose everything(her). Taking a step at a time from now on. Thanks man
I wanna get my point as directly across as possible so u may understand.
Imo, most females go by feelings. If it's right, she will not hold back unless she just divorced or broke up etc. She's hot and cold towards u, it's really obvious - she's not sure. Why not sure? because the feeling is not strong enough. U look like u r getting very desperate over the situation and are trying many ways to get closer to her. This is suicidal.
Take a step back. (yeh u said it) don't call her at all. Make friends with other gals and "report" back to her a mth later on how well ur doing. If she cannot be bothered or does not call u, then forget abt her.
Remember, when we apply for jobs and we know we got the self worth , it's our call, not the employer's. Same, if u know u got the worth, then YOU choose, not the girl. Test her a little at times.
My $0.02 worth.
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Originally posted by contagious-nerd:
some uncertainty, doubts.
[b]brief background
know her for a long time, since secondary, only got close recently.
positive signals
she goes out with me, like the two of us.(not always though)
(she's selective when going out with boys, she dont go out with all boys)
she dont really fancy watching movies, i love watching movies.
(but after we got "close", she started asking for movies)
on the negative side
she sometimes rejects me when i ask her out
(why?)
feel that she's avoiding me
(slow msn reply all of a sudden when i ask her out/ask to talk on phone)
at first it was rocky. We then got close and slowly started going out, having long chats on msn. Now the situation changed again, somehow avoiding me.(just feeling that it is) but sometimes she does talk to me in sucha way that we are more that just friends.
whats wrong?
p.s its just a brief description, i can elaborate even further if you need on some parts you dont understand/ need more explanation before evaluating.
cheers.
[/b]
Six years and nothing was done until now?
If you don't attempt to lose sight of the shore, you will never reach new destinations.
There is so much evaluation... so much analyzing... so much explanation... so much elaboration... so much considering... so much thinking... so much deciding... so much planning... so much this... so much that... and that cost you six fringing years of your unrequited love.
I say hell with it.
There is one common message among them: there is so much fear.
If she was your dream girl six years ago, why nothing was done? On/off friends for six years? How could it be possible unless you are too passive in your approach?
And being passive is a product of fear - people idle because they don't want to change status quo; courage is missing.
Ren ai zhe you li, ai ren zhe you yong. (MCsquare - correct me if I am wrong).
How many more six years are you going to waste?
Seek for closure.... Seek for answer.
Cheers -
thanks dude. Your advice i will heed, its always the clearest picture from outsider's view. What you said were all right, i'm sad to do it but i'll try my very best. I'll update our current situation whenever things happen, brother, thank youOriginally posted by Rock^Star:Sorry, forgive me if i may sound patronising. I wanna get my point as directly across as possible so u may understand.
Imo, most females go by feelings. If it's right, she will not hold back unless she just divorced or broke up etc. She's hot and cold towards u, it's really obvious - she's not sure. Why not sure? because the feeling is not strong enough. U look like u r getting very desperate over the situation and are trying many ways to get closer to her. This is suicidal.
Take a step back. (yeh u said it) don't call her at all. Make friends with other gals and "report" back to her a mth later on how well ur doing. If she cannot be bothered or does not call u, then forget abt her.
Remember, when we apply for jobs and we know we got the self worth , it's our call, not the employer's. Same, if u know u got the worth, then YOU choose, not the girl. Test her a little at times.
My $0.02 worth. -
No prob bro. Gd luck.
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She's just trying to test you lor, whether u r sincere and consistent anot lah!
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Nerd, u think she's trying to test u?Originally posted by :She's just trying to test you lor, whether u r sincere and consistent anot lah! -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
It is not exactly six years that i like her, i mean she, i can see is the one that will last long if i get her. But i never really go try(cause i know its impossible) until recently(2-3months) we somehow got closer and i dont want to miss the opportunity, taking steps by steps, trying to prevent any wrong moves. Has been very cautious. She's just has this very attractive personality that make me so happy everytime i get in contact with her. So its not really 6years and notthing happened, or should i say, 6 years but only 2-3months back that i got close to her, for the past 5 years 9months, we just catch up sometimes. I only got my feel when we got close Six years and nothing was done until now?
If you don't attempt to lose sight of the shore, you will never reach new destinations.
There is so much evaluation... so much analyzing... so much explanation... so much elaboration... so much considering... so much thinking... so much deciding... so much planning... so much this... so much that... and that cost you six fringing years of your unrequited love.
I say hell with it.
There is one common message among them: [b]there is so much fear.
If she was your dream girl six years ago, why nothing was done? On/off friends for six years? How could it be possible unless you are too passive in your approach?
And being passive is a product of fear - people idle because they don't want to change status quo; courage is missing.
Ren ai zhe you li, ai ren zhe you yong. (MCsquare - correct me if I am wrong).
How many more six years are you going to waste?
Seek for closure.... Seek for answer.
Cheers [/b] -
if thats the case, then i better be consistent. Thank youOriginally posted by :She's just trying to test you lor, whether u r sincere and consistent anot lah!