Have I done the wrong thing?
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I am really confused here. I am not sure if my bf is being mean or I am really what he claimed but i just didn't realise..
As some of you here know, my bf is addicted to WoW, and he commits all his free time to the game. I am sickened by it, but came to terms that an addiction is an addiction, you can't expect to pull a man out of his addiction w/o pissing him off...
And i admit that I complained a lot when he spends everyday on his games and he always say he has no freedom to even play games...
I felt that all these arguments are uncalled for since this might just be a passing phase in our relationship... So to better situation, i decided to join him by learning how to play the game. But he gets impatient when i ask him questions about the games...
Then Elindra from this forum offered to teach me and so i went to get the game today, hoping to learn the basics from her then join him in the game so at least we would have some common topics in daily life, and who knows it might bring us closer...
When i got home, (we stay together), I showed him the game excitedly & he suddenly flared up at me," I already told you that if you want to learn it because of me, and not coz you like it, then NO NEED." Then he just threw the game on the bed...
Have i done the wrong thing? Would guys feel pissed off when you think your gf is pretending to like something? I admit i don't like games, coz i always die after 3 mins in every game, no matter what games... but i was hoping that i would like it once i know how to play... Of coz i might not like it ultimately, but i just wanted to try & find out...
Don't know la... Wierd... I'm fine, just puzzled... Coz sometimes you think you've done a darn great thing when in fact, it was a stupid thing to do. Just want to hear from you guys your opinions... You know, you need people to tell you when you are wrong, if not, you forever think you are right one... I want to hear some guys' point of view...
Thanks Peepz...
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WoW will eat ur bf's life away, slowly bit by bit.
i guess all guys have this mentality that girls just can't play games, cause we'll think that girls are just pretending to be a part of us when we play games. Unless you can prove to him that you are way better than him, then he'll treat you like a goddess. it's a hindrance you see, cause they know girls will be a burden ingame, don't know this and don't know that till you know the game inside out, read up on forums or something like that. everyone started our as a nub. -
I know i am going to be a burden in games, and i also acknowledege that i am probably not going to be good at it.. I was merely hoping to get in the game & at least understand the terms he uses, the quests he goes to, and some common topics to share...
I guess you may be right in some ways, while he is so busy & engross upping his level, spending time to teach me will definitely slow him down from his peers which i believe is the last thing he ever wants... ~ burden...
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Tell your BF to marry the game lah. He just doesn't understand that the game is slowly overtaking his life and becoming his wife. =.=
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it's never too late to start, never too old to learn.
u can read up on the wow's site, forums and many other internet sources. google it. perhaps you can start picking up the game urself, and when you're in the intermediate level which means you know everything this and that. your bf wouldnt reject to party with you ingame.
cause it's a nuisance u see to teach someone everyone from the start especially when you're in a rs, cause you have more rights to, not to teach the other party.
and nevertheless, because of games, this is why many rs dont work out, but ya, compromise give and take. a rs is very hard to come by in life. -
He wouldn't want to marry it...Originally posted by Quinsy:Tell your BF to marry the game lah. He just doesn't understand that the game is slowly overtaking his life and becoming his wife. =.=
WoW doesn't know how to use the washing machine, cook mee for him, help him do shopping, clean his room... and can't ahem... you know...
Well, actually this is a small matter, it's only games, but i just don't knwo why it's eating into me so much lehz... I wished i could be more understanding & open-hearted, but I just can't sit that and keep quiet about being ignored, neglected and stuff... Girls....
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don't knock sense into your man, it never helps.
don't worry, every game will die out sooner or later perhaps in a few years time or so. =) -
WoW will eat away his life slowly.
I praise you for trying to learn how to play the game, u are willing to sacrifice ur time to spend more time with him to communicate.
From my point of view, its his wrong that he just chuck u aside and only cares about his game. Maybe if you could, one day try to talk to him properly and find out what might be wrong. I'm not saying that ur relationship is flawed but if he can throw his temper just because of a game, then u should re-consider being with him in the future. -
Then you should tell him that lor. Maybe just leave him and don't do the above for him for awhile to make him realise how neglected you feel lor.Originally posted by Vonderful:He wouldn't want to marry it...
WoW doesn't know how to use the washing machine, cook mee for him, help him do shopping, clean his room... and can't ahem... you know...
Well, actually this is a small matter, it's only games, but i just don't knwo why it's eating into me so much lehz... I wished i could be more understanding & open-hearted, but I just can't sit that and keep quiet about being ignored, neglected and stuff... Girls.... -
FEW YEARS? THAT'S DARN LONG OKAY?Originally posted by tpkw:don't knock sense into your man, it never helps.
don't worry, every game will die out sooner or later perhaps in a few years time or so. =)
By then Von might as well dump him and move onto better guys who don't waste time and money on games. =.= -
How often does he play WoW? Does he accompany u to go out n do other stuffs together too such as cooking and washing etc? Does he also do other things besides WoW? Maybe he is just been too engrossed into the game and totally forgets about you...
I had a friend who dumped her bf because he played too much games and refused to do anything else except gaming. Now, he is begging her to patch back but she just refuses because of this gaming incident. -
actually you're being a good gf here. And the thing is he doesn't appreciate it. Perhaps you can try learning the game on your own, and surprise him with your level/items .
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you already tried to accomodate him by trying to learn something which you dislike.Originally posted by Vonderful:When i got home, (we stay together), I showed him the game excitedly & he suddenly flared up at me," I already told you that if you want to learn it because of me, and not coz you like it, then NO NEED." Then he just threw the game on the bed...
ask him this question.
would he even do something which he dislikes just to accomodate you?
would he take up knitting, sewing, cooking, or maybe even giving up his game just for you?
he failed to understand that your actions, though it might be insignificant to him, it actually means alot to you.
he is in fact, being unreasonable.
you did no wrong on your part, even if you were to flare up at him.
hopefully he would be able to wake that thick gamer's skull of his.
i believe he's also roughly around your age.
wake him up and get a life or rather, get a job.
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on second thoughts, he might also be showing you concern. im sure he wouldn't want his loved ones to do things which they dislike knowing it might cause them to be unhappy. he just showed his concern in a harsh manner. tell him how you feel about this. ( best not to do it while his playing his WoW )
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How old are the both of you? When you both are cohabitating, it is kinda like a trial period to see if the relationship would work out well...see if he does other household chores together with u too, or even on his own initiative...
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Years!!!!! Thanks lehz.... Haha...Originally posted by tpkw:don't knock sense into your man, it never helps.
don't worry, every game will die out sooner or later perhaps in a few years time or so. =)
*Vonderful goes under blanket to cry...*
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all i can say is that i hope your bf will soon come to his senses and realize all that you have done for him...
because you have done SOOOOOO much more than what most people would ever bother to do...
im guessing that there must be something really great about him to make you want to stay with him despite his being addicted to that game... -
I have already stopped spoon feeding him...Originally posted by Quinsy:Then you should tell him that lor. Maybe just leave him and don't do the above for him for awhile to make him realise how neglected you feel lor.
I still cook, but when he finishes he meals at the PC, i just leave the things there wait for him to clear himself... And when he comes home & change, I don't soak the clothes for him, but still washes... JUst don't pick after him...
And now when i surf forums & he ask me help him get water, I just say," We are equally busy... you take yourself okie, dear..." with a super sweet (fake) smile...
But he doesn't sense any difference lehz... -
He plays everyday after he comes home from work.. from 8pm- 2am, sometimes earlier la... He doesn't like to go out, so before he started WoW, we would just stay home and we would just watch TV... Or if there are movies on screen that I really want to watch, i would pester him to go watch...Originally posted by JuanRomanRiquelme:How often does he play WoW? Does he accompany u to go out n do other stuffs together too such as cooking and washing etc? Does he also do other things besides WoW? Maybe he is just been too engrossed into the game and totally forgets about you...
I had a friend who dumped her bf because he played too much games and refused to do anything else except gaming. Now, he is begging her to patch back but she just refuses because of this gaming incident.
He does help me with dishes, but clothes i wash, (which i think its ok... don't expect a man to wash clothes right.. funny...)...
I never thought of dumping him coz i tell myself it's a phase.. If I want this r/s to survive this period, i have to open my heart... But girls, you know la... sometimes your heart can only open till certain extent, then you start whining again... Haha... -
i really envy your bf.. anyway u have done the right thing and it's not like every gal will do the same thing u know..Originally posted by Vonderful:I am really confused here. I am not sure if my bf is being mean or I am really what he claimed but i just didn't realise..
As some of you here know, my bf is addicted to WoW, and he commits all his free time to the game. I am sickened by it, but came to terms that an addiction is an addiction, you can't expect to pull a man out of his addiction w/o pissing him off...
And i admit that I complained a lot when he spends everyday on his games and he always say he has no freedom to even play games...
I felt that all these arguments are uncalled for since this might just be a passing phase in our relationship... So to better situation, i decided to join him by learning how to play the game. But he gets impatient when i ask him questions about the games...
Then Elindra from this forum offered to teach me and so i went to get the game today, hoping to learn the basics from her then join him in the game so at least we would have some common topics in daily life, and who knows it might bring us closer...
When i got home, (we stay together), I showed him the game excitedly & he suddenly flared up at me," I already told you that if you want to learn it because of me, and not coz you like it, then NO NEED." Then he just threw the game on the bed...
Have i done the wrong thing? Would guys feel pissed off when you think your gf is pretending to like something? I admit i don't like games, coz i always die after 3 mins in every game, no matter what games... but i was hoping that i would like it once i know how to play... Of coz i might not like it ultimately, but i just wanted to try & find out...
Don't know la... Wierd... I'm fine, just puzzled... Coz sometimes you think you've done a darn great thing when in fact, it was a stupid thing to do. Just want to hear from you guys your opinions... You know, you need people to tell you when you are wrong, if not, you forever think you are right one... I want to hear some guys' point of view...
Thanks Peepz...
U are willing to spend your time to learn so that u can b with him or prolly chat with him thru the game..
But thing is, it jus don works..
FIrst of all it will take alot of time to train to his lvl, then u will b spend hell lot fo time on this game.
PLaying Wow or other online games will really change someone personality..
Like u mentioned here, he got angry and stuff.. well don b sad k? Cause we gamers will get angry easily..
Have u notice he has changed personality? Like erm.. when he lost he smash his keyboard, punch the wall and stuff..
I hope your bf will stop playing wow and spend more time on u. BUt it's v hard and u can't help him, only he can help himself.
Playing online games addiction is v hard to quit.. And all because of these games, my studies drop.. but i now manage to control it..
I hope one day your bf will wake up!
Cheers -
That means u should desert him more! Until he feels the pinch.Originally posted by Vonderful:I have already stopped spoon feeding him...
I still cook, but when he finishes he meals at the PC, i just leave the things there wait for him to clear himself... And when he comes home & change, I don't soak the clothes for him, but still washes... JUst don't pick after him...
And now when i surf forums & he ask me help him get water, I just say," We are equally busy... you take yourself okie, dear..." with a super sweet (fake) smile...
But he doesn't sense any difference lehz... -
games...it will die off sooner or later la...
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later got new craze again how? After WoW...maybe got some other new games which he would get addicted again...Originally posted by R3SsH|n:games...it will die off sooner or later la... -
Haha... He'd rather kill himself than learn knitting i believe...Originally posted by mamamamama:you already tried to accomodate him by trying to learn something which you dislike.
ask him this question.
would he even do something which he dislikes just to accomodate you?
would he take up knitting, sewing, cooking, or maybe even giving up his game just for you?
he failed to understand that your actions, though it might be insignificant to him, it actually means alot to you.
he is in fact, being unreasonable.
you did no wrong on your part, even if you were to flare up at him.
hopefully he would be able to wake that thick gamer's skull of his.
i believe he's also roughly around your age.
wake him up and get a life or rather, get a job.
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on second thoughts, he might also be showing you concern. im sure he wouldn't want his loved ones to do things which they dislike knowing it might cause them to be unhappy. he just showed his concern in a harsh manner. tell him how you feel about this. ( best not to do it while his playing his WoW ) Anyway he has a job, but it's sales so his time is flexible... Good thing is he still knows how to wake up & go work tough his boss doesn't check on his timings...
I did tell him that i am rather hurt by him coz here i am trying to enter his world to get closer to him, and there he is throwing me a wet blanket... & I asked him if he had ever made an effort to like the things i like... He just said," when you knew me, i am like that already..."
I think to him, there's no pointing in trying too hard to please someone by being someone you are not... But to me, i didn't play games to please him, i wanted to mend the potholes...
And also, the things i like to do doesn't affect him much, like I don't do them till i neglect him to bits, so he doesn't really get what i am trying to get across to him... -
ha.
don't bother about him la...he will come running back to you when he gets bored...
then throw him the cold shoulders... -
Haha.. thank goodness he's not there yet.. smashing keyboards.... I notice that he gets irritated or distracted when i talk to him during games so now i don't ka jiao him coz i know he can't hear me... Haha...Originally posted by FBI:i really envy your bf.. anyway u have done the right thing and it's not like every gal will do the same thing u know..
U are willing to spend your time to learn so that u can b with him or prolly chat with him thru the game..
But thing is, it jus don works..
FIrst of all it will take alot of time to train to his lvl, then u will b spend hell lot fo time on this game.
PLaying Wow or other online games will really change someone personality..
Like u mentioned here, he got angry and stuff.. well don b sad k? Cause we gamers will get angry easily..
Have u notice he has changed personality? Like erm.. when he lost he smash his keyboard, punch the wall and stuff..
I hope your bf will stop playing wow and spend more time on u. BUt it's v hard and u can't help him, only he can help himself.
Playing online games addiction is v hard to quit.. And all because of these games, my studies drop.. but i now manage to control it..
I hope one day your bf will wake up!
Cheers
Now i am trying to live live as if i were living alone... Just do my own things and treat it as he's not home... And sometimes i get as busy as him when i am posting here...
JUst got to tide this over, everything would be fine... Hope his server gets down on alternate days... *** Pray...***