i agree. one wont realise another suffering until he/she feel the pain himself/herself.Originally posted by Ito_^:"counsellor" oso human.![]()
So stop talking or even thinking about having her as your girlfriend again.Originally posted by tankh80:I dunno i heard from my friends that she is still taking it but i wanna see it for myself and i wanna help her that of course includes taking her in i know.... even if i have top let her hate me for the rest of my life...
a girl who has a very bad perspective about men can have 20 bfs? take revenge by dating them?Originally posted by tankh80:She had a very bad past having being raped by 2 guys b4 1 is now in prison serving time and the other flee the country. I know what she is going thru right now and also she had 19 other boyfriends b4 me... the first 5 of them broke her heart since then she had a very bad perspective about men from what i can see, hear and gather she is like taking revenge on men and herself she won't listen to anyone not even her parents who time and again advice to get her back onto the right path but she just won't even give a damn...
During out times together I know that she is willing to change for me she try to quit glue for good by cutting down and spending a lot of time concentrating on other things i noticed that she is slowly changing for the better and among things she is like leaving her group of friends for good...
But after about 3 months she went back to her bad habits, i guess a leopard can never change its spots by then she was going out with this other guy when i was overseas training for abt 2 months..... This guy is like a typical ah beng, in lim chu kang camp..... i really dunno why my girlfriend would go with him just like that.....
You are not a failure.Originally posted by tankh80:Right now i am not even looking forward to finishing my NS i just wanna end everything not that this will make her come back to me but i wanna forget everything and just dies do u guys get it... I am a total failure as u will call me...
Guy it is very sad you will do this for a girl. Maybe I will say this to make you wake up. Do you seriously think the girl will want you to die? She wants you to live well as her counsellor. At least, live for her and be a success to her. At least she will be happy that you lived for her as much as possible. At some point in time you will realise something though. Your life is more important than anyone else's.Originally posted by tankh80:Right now i am not even looking forward to finishing my NS i just wanna end everything not that this will make her come back to me but i wanna forget everything and just dies do u guys get it... I am a total failure as u will call me...
Seriously, get yourself some psychiatric help.Originally posted by tankh80:Right now i am not even looking forward to finishing my NS i just wanna end everything not that this will make her come back to me but i wanna forget everything and just dies do u guys get it... I am a total failure as u will call me...
dont be so meanOriginally posted by Kuali Baba:Seriously, get yourself some psychiatric help.
Originally posted by Yunhaier:I think this is where the problem lies, if my guess is correct.
If my assumption was accurate, you went into a relationship with her, simultaneously acting as her counseller. Here, you are not only breaking the code of ethnics for a counsellor (fine, you are a volunteer), but this is also extremely unprofessional, to be romantically involved with your 'client'.
If I am wrong, kindly ignore the above statement.
***There is this heavy mote of self pity and extremism in your post. You are trying to foster that knight in shinning armour phenomenon, thinking that your love for her will enable her to straighten her route to a brighter path. It can be incredibly noble for such self sacrificing ideals, but we must have a common understanding that your love is NOT a panacea to her addiction because your love is nothing more than a speck of whirling dust in her eyes; currently, your not the only man in her life my friend.
Please burn this theory in your mind: if you are in a relationship with someone of inferior esteem/mental state - if one cannot enlighten/evolve their partner to be positive/stronger mental state, your partner will influence you to become like themselves. Understanding this, your suicidal thoughts are probably the result of being with her and it has affected you at subconscious level.
To kick her addiction requires little of your love; what she needs is professional counselling or intervention of lawful organization... to learn the consequence of her own karma from the foolishness of her doing. I suggest you give up having that idea of changing her, via having a relationship with you - that sort of love is terribly narcissistic. If you truly love someone, you will do what is necessary for her to kick the addiction, [b]even if you are out of the picture. This is to the extend of her hating you for the rest of her life because true love will not allow you to haughtily see her engage in self destructive behaviour, if you had to power to do prevent it.
What is love to you? Just to have her by your side?
That's so fcuking self absorbed! Because ultimately, you will discover that the one you love the most is but yourself.
You would rather NOT incur her hatred by accepting her self destructive behaviour in a manner where you would try, in vain, to contain it yourself, than to risk this relationship/friendship with her by reporting it to organization that could actually help her, in their own ways, to break her chain of addiction.
The addiction and bad social influence she is being subjected to is beyond you - it has claimed her soul completely. If you wish to live in denial, thinking that your love could change her... would change her... alas... please wake up your idea cause I am saying it twice: it's beyond you.
The bottom of all; you attempt suicide. For gawd sake, if you think that she is the one engaging in self destructive behaviour and needs to evolve, I reckon you are also in need to change yourself because attempting suicide IS INDEED a form of self destructive behaviour.
Read what I had said or scroll through with selective perception - your choice.
Cheers [/b]
Hi threadstarter,Originally posted by tankh80:Hi all I am a 21 years old NSF here recently my girlfriend just broke up with me she told me to face the harsh reality of she two-timing me. Really dunno how to get ovet this harsh times sometimes i really wanna get over with my life i try to take as much as 20 panandol with alcohol and still i am here talking to u guys, i try to commit suicide by standing in the middle of the road but the driver just manage to brake in time tell me guys am i seriously so stupid u must be thinking that i actually am right in actually fact i think i myself am very stupid why should i end my life just coz of a girl right but i really cannot get her out of my head i find that while i m driving outside i kind of like think of her suddenly and lost concentration on driving almost got into accident outside haiz sianz she is now with her new stead already and i also made a promise to her that i will wait for her to come back to me she knew about this and told me that she won't even come back to me anymore what to do man this is life anyway guys advice me on this really appreciate your help on this...
Originally posted by tankh80:I know what i am doing it is like I have failed as a boyfriend and as a counseller i have totally FAILED i am a total failure that y i am choosing this route to end my life totally...
u mentioned creating ur future wif her..but she doesn't even like u anymore.Originally posted by tankh80:Sianz it is not that she is like she thinks that i mind her past but the truth is i dun even care abt her past i juz wanna create my future with her that's all juz carry on with out relationship isn't that too much to ask for ma...?????