I'm so sad...it hurts so bad...
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I've been with my gf for 6 months, i know its not a long time, but still it meant something to me.
I have put in so much into this relationship, sacrificed so much, till the point i think i am willing to do almost anything, i really see her as my future wife, as the one for me...but sadly i am not the one for her...
i have tried my best already, giving in and giving in, but why did things turn out this way?
just yesterday she started ignoring me halfway into sch (we are both in uni) for apparently no reason. (maybe i did something but i wasnt aware) i asked her what was wrong and she said "nothing" she just feels very tired and dun feel like talking.
i know, i can accept that, but the problem is she dun feel like talking ONLY to me, but can chat and joke happily with her friend (who is in same class as us).
why? am i not an important person to her?
why? if she really loves me why does she treat me like that?
for your info she ignores me completely, dun talk to me, and dun even give me a single glance.
today, she ignores my sms and msn, i have a gut feeling..she wants to do a silent break with me..
cannot, i cannot accept it...break up with me if you want, but dun do it silently...no...
previously when she had her mood swings she also ignores me, and when she recovers she will be back and we would become normal again, i dunno if this time she will recover too, but i think my heart cannot take it anymore, the extreme flunctuation, is breaking my heart...
what's my next step? should i go and confront her and do a clean break? really..i cannot accept a silent break..no...no...............no.......... -
Go ask her lor.. There cant be anything without communication anyway.. Maybe ask her out one day and sit down and tell her how does you feel when you're treated this way.. And ask why is she treating you this way..
If she really wants to break up.. There's nothing you can do either.. It's just that she feels that you're not the one for her even though you yourself think you're the one for her..
Cheers.. -
Is this the kind of girl you want to have as your wife?
EDIT: Confront her. -
but she's ignoring me..how to confront her? if i call her to come out she sure won't, what i am thinking is that to wait for her at her house...but that is so extreme...like a stalker..haiOriginally posted by d3sT1nY:Go ask her lor.. There cant be anything without communication anyway.. Maybe ask her out one day and sit down and tell her how does you feel when you're treated this way.. And ask why is she treating you this way..
If she really wants to break up.. There's nothing you can do either.. It's just that she feels that you're not the one for her even though you yourself think you're the one for her..
Cheers..
im at my wits end -
Move on dude.
She doesn't treasure u and get a hold of yourself. You're losing it. -
i know, i can't help but feeling like a piece of shit...Originally posted by Rock^Star:Move on dude.
She doesn't treasure u and get a hold of yourself. You're losing it.
its been 4 relationships so far, and all 4 failed within 6 months, not because of change-of-heart, not because of third party or whatever, but becuase of what?
it must be me..i must be a flop bf. -
all ur past relationships failed within 6 months each.......alright.Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:i know, i can't help but feeling like a piece of shit...
its been 4 relationships so far, and all 4 failed within 6 months, not because of change-of-heart, not because of third party or whatever, but becuase of what?
it must be me..i must be a flop bf.
Are u a sticky bf? -
www.doubleyourdating.com
also giving it ur all and giving in every single time is a definite NONO. what happened to your confidence my man? u gotta show her that u can be independent, that u can lead the way and make decisions, then she'll respect and follow -
www.doubleyourdating.com
also giving it ur all and giving in every single time is a definite NONO. what happened to your confidence my man? u gotta show her that u can be independent, that u can lead the way and make decisions, then she'll respect and follow -
another dyd follower.
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to a certain extent, yes.Originally posted by Rock^Star:all ur past relationships failed within 6 months each.......alright.
Are u a sticky bf?
i expect at least meet up once or twice a week
at least sms at least once a day
thats too sticky? -
Any relationship with any cracks in it; should be abandoned, because no matter how you try to hide those cracks, or repair it, they will forever be there.
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How about, have you checked your behavior for anything that could've possibly tired her out?
Like, do you hide problems from her when she asks if you're alright?.... amongst other things. -
the frequency u mentioned above are ok but the problem is........ u expect?Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:to a certain extent, yes.
i expect at least meet up once or twice a week
at least sms at least once a day
thats too sticky?
Then u must have complained to ur gf why she never call u, sms u, take initiative etc am i right.... -
how can a relationship be perfect without any cracks?Originally posted by missqi:Any relationship with any cracks in it; should be abandoned, because no matter how you try to hide those cracks, or repair it, they will forever be there. -
Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:how can a relationship be perfect without any cracks?
How can a relationship be perfect with any cracks? -
That is so... It's like saying, an artist who makes an error while painting should dump the whole painting and start on a new one.Originally posted by missqi:Any relationship with any cracks in it; should be abandoned, because no matter how you try to hide those cracks, or repair it, they will forever be there. -
Yes.Originally posted by Capricieux:That is so... It's like saying, an artist who makes an error while painting should dump the whole painting and start on a new one.
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Feel sad when i hear thisOriginally posted by FailureOfTheNation:I've been with my gf for 6 months, i know its not a long time, but still it meant something to me.
I have put in so much into this relationship, sacrificed so much, till the point i think i am willing to do almost anything, i really see her as my future wife, as the one for me...but sadly i am not the one for her...
i have tried my best already, giving in and giving in, but why did things turn out this way?
just yesterday she started ignoring me halfway into sch (we are both in uni) for apparently no reason. (maybe i did something but i wasnt aware) i asked her what was wrong and she said "nothing" she just feels very tired and dun feel like talking.
i know, i can accept that, but the problem is she dun feel like talking ONLY to me, but can chat and joke happily with her friend (who is in same class as us).
why? am i not an important person to her?
why? if she really loves me why does she treat me like that?
for your info she ignores me completely, dun talk to me, and dun even give me a single glance.
today, she ignores my sms and msn, i have a gut feeling..she wants to do a silent break with me..
cannot, i cannot accept it...break up with me if you want, but dun do it silently...no...
previously when she had her mood swings she also ignores me, and when she recovers she will be back and we would become normal again, i dunno if this time she will recover too, but i think my heart cannot take it anymore, the extreme flunctuation, is breaking my heart...
what's my next step? should i go and confront her and do a clean break? really..i cannot accept a silent break..no...no...............no..........
tea and sympathy? -
i hide problems, even if there's a problem i wont tell her, i'd just act normal..Originally posted by Capricieux:How about, have you checked your behavior for anything that could've possibly tired her out?
Like, do you hide problems from her when she asks if you're alright?.... amongst other things.
the only thing i can think of is that whenever she treats me like this, i will be very aggressive and keep pestering her to try and solve the problem, because in my opinion i canot just leave the situation in such a tense state and do nothing and watch the relationship die...
but she always wont say anything..always want to escape from the problem.. -
Do you know, it is EXTREMELY TAXING on the poor girl, especially if she really cares for you alot, for her to keep worrying about what could possibly be bothering you, when you're not revealing anything?Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:i hide problems, even if there's a problem i wont tell her, i'd just act normal..
the only thing i can think of is that whenever she treats me like this, i will be very aggressive and keep pestering her to try and solve the problem, because in my opinion i canot just leave the situation in such a tense state and do nothing and watch the relationship die...
but she always wont say anything..always want to escape from the problem..
Probably she wants badly to help, but doesn't know how to, and cannot help, because she's not being told anything. And here you are, trying to pretend you're fine when probably she can tell you're not.
Perhaps her silent treatment towards you is a hint that she doesn't want you to tell her anything else but instead, all she wants to know are your problems, so that she can share your burden.
The reason why she always doesn't say anything could be because she doesn't want to pressurize you and appear persistent and possibly annoying. Could she be hoping for you to catch the hint? -
starting in the early stages, yes.Originally posted by Rock^Star:the frequency u mentioned above are ok but the problem is........ u expect?
Then u must have complained to ur gf why she never call u, sms u, take initiative etc am i right....
but recent times i have toned down a lot already, maybe it left something in her... -
I don't know, but I think, I think if artists worked this way, we wouldn't have as many great art pieces as we do now.Originally posted by missqi:Yes.
I'm not well-versed in art history, but I do think that sometimes if you have to start anew on a piece of work, the essence is gone because the sudden inspiration has died already.
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i disagree. i hide my feelings, my problems, she wont even know that something is wrong, ie i am perfectly NORMAL in front of her. so she cant be worrying what is bothering me, but on the contrary, I AM constantly worrying whats bothering HER.Originally posted by Capricieux:Do you know, it is EXTREMELY TAXING on the poor girl, especially if she really cares for you alot, for her to keep worrying about what could possibly be bothering you, when you're not revealing anything?
Probably she wants badly to help, but doesn't know how to, and cannot help, because she's not being told anything. And here you are, trying to pretend you're fine when probably she can tell you're not.
Perhaps her silent treatment towards you is a hint that she doesn't want you to tell her anything else but instead, all she wants to know are your problems, so that she can share your burden.
The reason why she always doesn't say anything could be because she doesn't want to pressurize you and appear persistent and possibly annoying. Could she be hoping for you to catch the hint?
the way u describe is so much like the situation from my side now. i want badly to help, but doesnt know how to, and there she is, trying to tell me "nothing is wrong" when i can tell she's not.
all i want is to know her problems, so i can share her burden.. -
Sometimes a woman's intuition can be alarmingly sharp.Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:i disagree. i hide my feelings, my problems, she wont even know that something is wrong, ie i am perfectly NORMAL in front of her. so she cant be worrying what is bothering me, but on the contrary, I AM constantly worrying whats bothering HER.
the way u describe is so much like the situation from my side now. i want badly to help, but doesnt know how to, and there she is, trying to tell me "nothing is wrong" when i can tell she's not.
all i want is to know her problems, so i can share her burden..
Looks like it's time for a confrontation.
Clear things up once and for all, for good. And please do it tactfully if you want to salvage the relationship.
As the Chinese saying goes, it takes 1000 lifetimes before a man and a woman can be together. Or something like that. Especially since you believe one day you will marry her, think properly before you act. You're either gonna make it or break it.
And I wish you all the best.