I'm so sad...it hurts so bad...
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Sorry to say this but u must have been really sticky. U try ur best to do everything right and to please her. Obviously, it's a turn off to her. It also reveals a lot of your insecurity by those that I highlighted in red above. Big big turn off for many girls as it's a show of ur no-confidence.Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:I've been with my gf for 6 months, i know its not a long time, but still it meant something to me.
I have put in so much into this relationshipsacrificed so much, till the point i think i am willing to do almost anything, i really see her as my future wife, , as the one for me...but sadly i am not the one for her...
i have tried my best already, giving in and giving in, but why did things turn out this way?
just yesterday she started ignoring me halfway into sch (we are both in uni) for apparently no reason. (maybe i did something but i wasnt aware) i asked her what was wrong and she said "nothing" she just feels very tired and dun feel like talking.
i know, i can accept that, but the problem is she dun feel like talking ONLY to me, but can chat and joke happily with her friend (who is in same class as us).
why? am i not an important person to her?
why? if she really loves me why does she treat me like that?
for your info she ignores me completely, dun talk to me, and dun even give me a single glance.
today, she ignores my sms and msn, i have a gut feeling..she wants to do a silent break with me..
cannot, i cannot accept it...break up with me if you want, but dun do it silently...no...
previously when she had her mood swings she also ignores me, and when she recovers she will be back and we would become normal again, i dunno if this time she will recover too, but i think my heart cannot take it anymore, the extreme flunctuation, is breaking my heart...
what's my next step? should i go and confront her and do a clean break? really..i cannot accept a silent break..no...no...............no..........
This could be a vicious cycle, cos u had 4 failed ones (6 mths each) and now the fifth. U definitely have no problems starting a relationship but u got problems maintaining one. -
Hello Guy,Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:I've been with my gf for 6 months, i know its not a long time, but still it meant something to me.
I have put in so much into this relationship, sacrificed so much, till the point i think i am willing to do almost anything, i really see her as my future wife, as the one for me...but sadly i am not the one for her...
i have tried my best already, giving in and giving in, but why did things turn out this way?
just yesterday she started ignoring me halfway into sch (we are both in uni) for apparently no reason. (maybe i did something but i wasnt aware) i asked her what was wrong and she said "nothing" she just feels very tired and dun feel like talking.
i know, i can accept that, but the problem is she dun feel like talking ONLY to me, but can chat and joke happily with her friend (who is in same class as us).
why? am i not an important person to her?
why? if she really loves me why does she treat me like that?
for your info she ignores me completely, dun talk to me, and dun even give me a single glance.
today, she ignores my sms and msn, i have a gut feeling..she wants to do a silent break with me..
cannot, i cannot accept it...break up with me if you want, but dun do it silently...no...
previously when she had her mood swings she also ignores me, and when she recovers she will be back and we would become normal again, i dunno if this time she will recover too, but i think my heart cannot take it anymore, the extreme flunctuation, is breaking my heart...
what's my next step? should i go and confront her and do a clean break? really..i cannot accept a silent break..no...no...............no..........
I know you put in a lot and you invested a lot of your feelings into this r/s. Im going to analyse your story paragraph by paragraph. Along the way if I sound crude, dun take it too personally. I was like you as well until I learnt not to take girls too seriously. My two cents below. You can choose to take it or believe it but what I am saying is pure common sense based on female behaviour. Here goes:
First para: You only knew your gf for 6mths and you said it meant something to you? Ok guy, time to wake up. It was just an illusion on your part because your feelings in her was too high while her feelings are getting lower every day.
Second para: You only knew her for 6 mths and you already see her as your future wife? What load of crap is that? 6mths is not a long time. What made you see that? Some ppl were together for 10 years and cracks still occur. Why? Don't ever feel that she is the one for you. She has to prove it to you. Obviously, she did not and all she did was to hurt you. You need to work on getting more self-respect here.
3rd para: You can give in but not giving in to please her. Sometimes women like guys to take control. You must always be in control. Not controlling her but controlling the direction of the relationship. Take charge, not giving in. That's weak. And what do you mean by giving in? Is it allowing her to control you and giving her presents all the time when she says she wants it? Are you losing your sense of pride here? Are you not able to say no in her face sometimes and tell her to wake up?
4th para: Next time u see her and she seems like "ignoring" you, it means her feelings for you are dropping. She don't feel like seeing you...not tired, not paiseh, not other reasons(excuses?) she gave. Don't bother to ask her. Don't give a damn. It makes you appear you are begging for her permission to appear happy to you. Just say "hi" and get the hell out of there! If she doesn't, prepare to eject from the r/s.
5th and 6th para: If she really loves you, would she not bother you? Of course she will! Stop making up excuses for her! It's obvious she has low feelings for you. Oh, she likes you so much that she talked to other classmates and completely ignores you huh?! Don't take that personally.
7th para onwards: No, not pms or whatever excuses you want to make up for her: She just have low feelings. You are a typical nice guy who gives in and gives in and she keeps pulling away and pulling away. Please, guy, control your feelings, if not it will reach a point where you might do something that might hurt yourself... all these for a girl?!
Suggested solution: Take a step back and hang around with more friends and socialising with more female friends, especially. Withdraw and allow her to contact you, hopefully. If not, just get out of the r/s and mean while start to date other girls. There is NO SPECIAL ONE EXCEPT YOU. Remember Mourinho, ok Jose?(if you are into soccer). The one who gets out first suffers less. Remember, be a man and dun take any crap from a girl when due respect is not shown.
Good Luck! You still have us to confide in. -
gotta move on....apparently this is not working out....since she wants to silently break-up, be a man and silently move on.......don't be a whiner...learn from past mistakes and not be so sticky....
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it could be pms ba..
usually the bf will kena de..
dun think too much abt it? -
Do not, under any circumstances, confront her. Do not pressurise her. Pressure does not work in any situation, especialy for girls. The more you do, the more she will pull away from you. Now I know why she kept pulling away from you...because you always pester her. Pestering is a form of pressure. Learn to relax.Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:but she's ignoring me..how to confront her? if i call her to come out she sure won't, what i am thinking is that to wait for her at her house...but that is so extreme...like a stalker..hai
im at my wits end
Just get out of her sight and wait for her to contact you.
And the reason you flop because you care too much about the relationship. That's an irony, huh?
But it's better now, because you can start to look at other women for a wife dude. -
Funny u r asking everyone but the most appropriate person - your gf.....!
Why guess and speculate? Have a quiet heart -to-heart talk with her. Seems like you need this.
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the problems of going into a relationship...
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I would like to expand on the above-mentioned point as far as my limited knowledge goes:Originally posted by missqi:Any relationship with any cracks in it; should be abandoned, because no matter how you try to hide those cracks, or repair it, they will forever be there.
All relationships between humans have cracks. Do not try to tell me your relationship with your parents are perfect ever since you were conceived. There will at least be one small conflict and that by itself is a crack in the relationship.
BUT because of the cracks in the relationship, it potentially can be repaired and further strengthened and made more beautiful. Because of the presense of the cracks, the cracks that are forever there, it serves as a reminder and experience to reinforce the relationship. Have you heard of "trials and tribulations makes one stronger"?
So relationships with or without cracks (if any) should not be abandoned BUT dealt with care, concern and most of all, love.
Fish, I am not arguing with you, just that I want to show TS another option.
Peace.
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well said.Originally posted by Bontakun:I would like to expand on the above-mentioned point as far as my limited knowledge goes:
All relationships between humans have cracks. Do not try to tell me your relationship with your parents are perfect ever since you were conceived. There will at least be one small conflict and that by itself is a crack in the relationship.
BUT because of the cracks in the relationship, it potentially can be repaired and further strengthened and made more beautiful. Because of the presense of the cracks, the cracks that are forever there, it serves as a reminder and experience to reinforce the relationship. Have you heard of "trials and tribulations makes one stronger"?
So relationships with or without cracks (if any) should not be abandoned BUT dealt with care, concern and most of all, love.
Fish, I am not arguing with you, just that I want to show TS another option.
Peace.
cracks meake a relationship more beautiful and stronger as compared to a flawless one cos it will not stand the test of time.. -
Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:I've been with my gf for 6 months, i know its not a long time, but still it meant something to me.
I have put in so much into this relationship, sacrificed so much, till the point i think i am willing to do almost anything, i really see her as my future wife, as the one for me...but sadly i am not the one for her...
i have tried my best already, giving in and giving in, but why did things turn out this way?
just yesterday she started ignoring me halfway into sch (we are both in uni) for apparently no reason. (maybe i did something but i wasnt aware) i asked her what was wrong and she said "nothing" she just feels very tired and dun feel like talking.
i know, i can accept that, but the problem is she dun feel like talking ONLY to me, but can chat and joke happily with her friend (who is in same class as us).
why? am i not an important person to her?
why? if she really loves me why does she treat me like that?
for your info she ignores me completely, dun talk to me, and dun even give me a single glance.
today, she ignores my sms and msn, i have a gut feeling..she wants to do a silent break with me..
cannot, i cannot accept it...break up with me if you want, but dun do it silently...no...
previously when she had her mood swings she also ignores me, and when she recovers she will be back and we would become normal again, i dunno if this time she will recover too, but i think my heart cannot take it anymore, the extreme flunctuation, is breaking my heart...
what's my next step? should i go and confront her and do a clean break? really..i cannot accept a silent break..no...no...............no..........
I think it's not that you are unable to accept a silent break - it's more like you are afraid to face the music; if I was you, a confrontation would have took place and simultaneously, probably bid farewell to this relationship for good.
Blind sacrificing and meaningless giving in is just pure foolish - if you think that would create a dream relationship, you are in for cruel surprise.
Even to a seemingly perfect mate, overly shifting of power to one party will often see power abuses of some sort. I always believe that most human cannot handle the responsibility of 'power', therefore in a relationship, if you eliminate the complex but natural power struggle, by surrendering your shares completely to your other mate, your action will result a change in her attitude and mindset gradually as she ascend into her royal throne (CloUdiSm; Leadership Management in BGR).
Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:i disagree. i hide my feelings, my problems, she wont even know that something is wrong, ie i am perfectly NORMAL in front of her. so she cant be worrying what is bothering me, but on the contrary, I AM constantly worrying whats bothering HER.
the way u describe is so much like the situation from my side now. i want badly to help, but doesnt know how to, and there she is, trying to tell me "nothing is wrong" when i can tell she's not.
all i want is to know her problems, so i can share her burden.. This makes no common sense; if you think that a relationship will succeed in that manner, no wonder you have four failed relationship, all lasted less than half a year because you don't even realise what's wrong with the above statement.
You are trying so hard to create that perfect mate phenomenon... that kind of mate that will treat a woman right and even sacrificing/suppressing yourself in attempt to maintain that perfect image. Very noble thoughts; the wanting to protect your love one from their problems and not implicate them with your issues. The minute you do that, you are fuelling a critical error that will post a huge hurdle to resolve in the future.
By keeping everything to yourself, you are cutting important communication, adopting emotional distance and putting on a jester mask; a facade saying that everything is fine. You may be the best jester in town, but no comical play can ever disguise the emotional distance you have created. Over time, this is felt subconsciously and your love will mirror the effect back at you.
Distance will beget longer distance.
You mentioned that all relationship are imperfect, but the real culprit is because we are imperfect people. [I agreed with little Missqi partially, with a variation; most cracks can be resolve (not mended), cracks that are irrevocably unaccepted and uncompromised are usually badly crippled... likely, leading to death].
To succeed in Love, you must give and take simultaneously - understand the importance of equilibrium; Love's Eco System.
Cheers -
I have to disagree though.Originally posted by silent_lamb:well said.
cracks meake a relationship more beautiful and stronger as compared to a flawless one cos it will not stand the test of time..
You make it sound like you like more cracks to appear to make the r/s to be very beautiful. haha..that's not a good idea i think... -
It does not exactly means that way lah. Just that a flawless relationship with no cracks or whatsoever is weird, dun you tink? You seen drama shows. Those ppl who have no cracks in their relationships seems all so perfect in the eyes of the others, but in the latter stage everything went awry and all broke loose. They can only accept "perfection" to a certain limit before they found it stale.Originally posted by dokono:I have to disagree though.
You make it sound like you like more cracks to appear to make the r/s to be very beautiful. haha..that's not a good idea i think...
BUT if a relationship can go very well with little cracks or even 1 small crack, dat shows how much effort both parties made to maintain that. -
thank you..Originally posted by Capricieux:Sometimes a woman's intuition can be alarmingly sharp.
Looks like it's time for a confrontation.
Clear things up once and for all, for good. And please do it tactfully if you want to salvage the relationship.
As the Chinese saying goes, it takes 1000 lifetimes before a man and a woman can be together. Or something like that. Especially since you believe one day you will marry her, think properly before you act. You're either gonna make it or break it.
And I wish you all the best. -
i am open to communication, very much. in the early stages of the relationship, when something unhappy happens, i would bring her and talk to her "heart-to-heart".Originally posted by Yunhaier: This makes no common sense; if you think that a relationship will succeed in that manner, no wonder you have four failed relationship, all lasted less than half a year because you don't even realise what's wrong with the above statement.
You are trying so hard to create that perfect mate phenomenon... that kind of mate that will treat a woman right and even sacrificing/suppressing yourself in attempt to maintain that perfect image. Very noble thoughts; the wanting to protect your love one from their problems and not implicate them with your issues. The minute you do that, you are fuelling a critical error that will post a huge hurdle to resolve in the future.
By keeping everything to yourself, you are cutting important communication, adopting emotional distance and putting on a jester mask; a facade saying that everything is fine. You may be the best jester in town, but no comical play can ever disguise the emotional distance you have created. Over time, this is felt subconsciously and your love will mirror the effect back at you.
Distance will beget longer distance.
You mentioned that all relationship are imperfect, but the real culprit is because we are imperfect people. [I agreed with little Missqi partially, with a variation; most cracks can be resolve (not mended), cracks that are irrevocably unaccepted and uncompromised are usually badly crippled... likely, leading to death].
To succeed in Love, you must give and take simultaneously - understand the importance of equilibrium; Love's Eco System.
Cheers
but she always doesnt want to say anything, once even to a point where she said "i just want to escape from the problem, can you let me do that? that's MY character - to escape - and that's YOUR character, (which is to try and solve the problem by communicating)"
and then go on to say that we are incompatible or whatever. which inevitably leads me to close myself up also. because if i insist on talking about it would only make the matters worst.
everytime i try to talk about a problem she shuts off. so how? how to make her learn to open up? is it that whenever you meet such a person you just have to break off everything with her?
or is it simply that i'm not the person who could open her up? -
thanks. makes senses. perhaps its time for me to start being a man...Originally posted by dokono:Hello Guy,
I know you put in a lot and you invested a lot of your feelings into this r/s. Im going to analyse your story paragraph by paragraph. Along the way if I sound crude, dun take it too personally. I was like you as well until I learnt not to take girls too seriously. My two cents below. You can choose to take it or believe it but what I am saying is pure common sense based on female behaviour. Here goes:
First para: You only knew your gf for 6mths and you said it meant something to you? Ok guy, time to wake up. It was just an illusion on your part because your feelings in her was too high while her feelings are getting lower every day.
Second para: You only knew her for 6 mths and you already see her as your future wife? What load of crap is that? 6mths is not a long time. What made you see that? Some ppl were together for 10 years and cracks still occur. Why? Don't ever feel that she is the one for you. She has to prove it to you. Obviously, she did not and all she did was to hurt you. You need to work on getting more self-respect here.
3rd para: You can give in but not giving in to please her. Sometimes women like guys to take control. You must always be in control. Not controlling her but controlling the direction of the relationship. Take charge, not giving in. That's weak. And what do you mean by giving in? Is it allowing her to control you and giving her presents all the time when she says she wants it? Are you losing your sense of pride here? Are you not able to say no in her face sometimes and tell her to wake up?
4th para: Next time u see her and she seems like "ignoring" you, it means her feelings for you are dropping. She don't feel like seeing you...not tired, not paiseh, not other reasons(excuses?) she gave. Don't bother to ask her. Don't give a damn. It makes you appear you are begging for her permission to appear happy to you. Just say "hi" and get the hell out of there! If she doesn't, prepare to eject from the r/s.
5th and 6th para: If she really loves you, would she not bother you? Of course she will! Stop making up excuses for her! It's obvious she has low feelings for you. Oh, she likes you so much that she talked to other classmates and completely ignores you huh?! Don't take that personally.
7th para onwards: No, not pms or whatever excuses you want to make up for her: She just have low feelings. You are a typical nice guy who gives in and gives in and she keeps pulling away and pulling away. Please, guy, control your feelings, if not it will reach a point where you might do something that might hurt yourself... all these for a girl?!
Suggested solution: Take a step back and hang around with more friends and socialising with more female friends, especially. Withdraw and allow her to contact you, hopefully. If not, just get out of the r/s and mean while start to date other girls. There is NO SPECIAL ONE EXCEPT YOU. Remember Mourinho, ok Jose?(if you are into soccer). The one who gets out first suffers less. Remember, be a man and dun take any crap from a girl when due respect is not shown.
Good Luck! You still have us to confide in. -
One question:Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:i am open to communication, very much. in the early stages of the relationship, when something unhappy happens, i would bring her and talk to her "heart-to-heart".
but she always doesnt want to say anything, once even to a point where she said "i just want to escape from the problem, can you let me do that? that's MY character - to escape - and that's YOUR character, (which is to try and solve the problem by communicating)"
and then go on to say that we are incompatible or whatever. which inevitably leads me to close myself up also. because if i insist on talking about it would only make the matters worst.
everytime i try to talk about a problem she shuts off. so how? how to make her learn to open up? is it that whenever you meet such a person you just have to break off everything with her?
or is it simply that i'm not the person who could open her up?
When you mentioned heart-to-heart, what exactly did you say to her when you were unhappy?
Forget the BS about communicating bro...she wants space.. Stop pressurising her.. can't you see that yet you keep pushing and pushing? Communicating is not the only way. Communication is one of the ways. Have you ever heard of the subtle art of body and facial language communication? Women are more good in that area.
The reason she mentioned incompatible is because she is constantly kept turning off because of your constant giving in. She will not tell you that but gave you another BS because they are not usually direct. They do not want to hurt you. Do you dare to ask her if she is losing her feelings? That is what I call communication. (which I do not recommend because you will accuse her )
Dude, there is nothing wrong with you as a person. She will say it's her fault. Yeah, it's her own feelings that are losing steam(because you gave in too much) -
You can't prevent cracks but small cracks are like water droplets dripping out of a pail of water because of lines forming up. It's the big cracks that matter which occur accumulated by the small things. Things like arguing/showing you dun exist/disrespect... That's why I don't agree that cracks are beautiful...it's like one party has low feelings and you call that beautiful haha...Originally posted by Bontakun:It does not exactly means that way lah. Just that a flawless relationship with no cracks or whatsoever is weird, dun you tink? You seen drama shows. Those ppl who have no cracks in their relationships seems all so perfect in the eyes of the others, but in the latter stage everything went awry and all broke loose. They can only accept "perfection" to a certain limit before they found it stale.
BUT if a relationship can go very well with little cracks or even 1 small crack, dat shows how much effort both parties made to maintain that. -
That is when both parties are unwilling to resolve or attempt to repair the cracks. Only when both parties understand the root of the problem at hand, the severity it can lead to and the willingness to a concensus will the bond be stronger because both parties know that what this will leads to. they will also keep note not to go there and in a sense, this crack when repaired can also help serve as a "watch tower" to other potential cracks as long as both parties are sensitive enough to notice and patient and calm enough to discuss about it.Originally posted by dokono:You can't prevent cracks but small cracks are like water droplets dripping out of a pail of water because of lines forming up. It's the big cracks that matter which occur accumulated by the small things. Things like arguing/showing you dun exist/disrespect... That's why I don't agree that cracks are beautiful...it's like one party has low feelings and you call that beautiful haha...
All it takes is for one party to take the FIRST step, and see if the other party will do the same. If one party takes the first step and the other do not respond, do not despair and try it again another time. I am sure no one wants to throw away any relationship of any kind just like that.
And from another point of view, these "cracks" can be viewed as "experience".
Beers.
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Haha..in any r/s... there is usually some sort of power struggle that either party wants...and no offense, girls, it is usually the women. All women test guys. That is where the man can see if he is called the true MAN. The woman wants to see if the bf is a real MAN to be worthy of her baby. It's about protecting his own stand.Originally posted by Bontakun:That is when both parties are unwilling to resolve or attempt to repair the cracks. Only when both parties understand the root of the problem at hand, the severity it can lead to and the willingness to a concensus will the bond be stronger because both parties know that what this will leads to. they will also keep note not to go there and in a sense, this crack when repaired can also help serve as a "watch tower" to other potential cracks as long as both parties are sensitive enough to notice and patient and calm enough to discuss about it.
All it takes is for one party to take the FIRST step, and see if the other party will do the same. If one party takes the first step and the other do not respond, do not despair and try it again another time. I am sure no one wants to throw away any relationship of any kind just like that.
And from another point of view, these "cracks" can be viewed as "experience".
Beers.
I feel that in areas of r/s especially, guys should learn to hold back and not attempt to rush in to fix things. That's because it means pressure to the woman. The guy should feel as if it does not affect him. If things get bad, prepare to get out. No one likes cracks to appear. In short, take a zen-like approach. -
Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:i am open to communication, very much. in the early stages of the relationship, when something unhappy happens, i would bring her and talk to her "heart-to-heart".
but she always doesnt want to say anything, once even to a point where she said "i just want to escape from the problem, can you let me do that? that's MY character - to escape - and that's YOUR character, (which is to try and solve the problem by communicating)"
and then go on to say that we are incompatible or whatever. which inevitably leads me to close myself up also. because if i insist on talking about it would only make the matters worst.
everytime i try to talk about a problem she shuts off. so how? how to make her learn to open up? is it that whenever you meet such a person you just have to break off everything with her?
or is it simply that i'm not the person who could open her up? There's only two reason why people can't open up:
I) Core personality - something that's inside her, influencing that sort of inhibition.
II) Situational reasoning - that love has changed or similar (factors outside of core personality) that influence that sort of inhibition.
You see, not everyone is subjected to a closed mindset; more often than not, it's always how love function in her life that creates that kind of shut down and emotional distance. If her love is fleeting for you, it makes much sense not to be emotionally attached to you, isn't it?
They only way to make people open up to you is to open up yourself. The surest way to keep people away is to keep yourself closed. This is the action and reaction part of opening up. I don't know how to teach you to resolve (I) because it goes more than just words - it's more like a package you are presenting. I have mention in my previous post on the style which you have led your relationship and will worsen (I).
Yes, you may be open to communication, but you are just open to communication on her part and not yourself. I will repost what you posted
So you actually see a problem here? (For the benefit of the doubt, I wouldn't say you are selective reading, yet).Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:I disagree. i hide my feelings, my problems, she wont even know that something is wrong, ie i am perfectly NORMAL in front of her. so she cant be worrying what is bothering me, but on the contrary, I AM constantly worrying whats bothering HER.
As mention in the first paragraph of my previous post, I will repost again:
'....I think it's not that you are unable to accept a silent break - it's more like you are afraid to face the music; if I was you, a confrontation would have took place and simultaneously, probably bid farewell to this relationship for good....'
If she wants to go, I believe nothing will stop her from going. And by default, her desire to leave will make her behave that manner.
Cheers -
hey.....i was in the same situation before. happened x2 with the same girl. both times i tried to find excuses for her in my heart, but I gave up cos I know she wont do the same for me!
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hmm...enlightening...i have never seen it from such an angle before.Originally posted by Yunhaier:So you actually see a problem here? (For the benefit of the doubt, I wouldn't say you are selective reading, yet).
As mention in the first paragraph of my previous post, I will repost again:
'....I think it's not that you are unable to accept a silent break - it's more like you are afraid to face the music; if I was you, a confrontation would have took place and simultaneously, probably bid farewell to this relationship for good....'
If she wants to go, I believe nothing will stop her from going. And by default, her desire to leave will make her behave that manner.
Cheers
firstly, perhaps like what u said, i am still not ready to face the music, because previously when she became like that she will recover then back to normal, somehow i just hope to leave a confrontation until the very very last resort..
its not that i never tried to open myself to her, i tried but that only make her become depressed.
for example there was once i told her about what i was feeling when she treated me like crap, but then that only made her become depressed, and then she will put all the blame on her and say she's not a good gf and tell me to let go if i cannot stand her...
how like that? how to open to her? haiz.
somehow i feel, she has this desire to leave, but even she herself is not sure about it, thats why she treats me like that. perhaps now is the time for a confrontation. -
sigh.
my heart goes out to the both of you.
and i thought dokono's posts sounded a little biased...
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haha...what do you mean I "sound" like?Originally posted by MooKu:sigh.
my heart goes out to the both of you.
and i thought dokono's posts sounded a little biased... 
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Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:hmm...enlightening...i have never seen it from such an angle before.
firstly, perhaps like what u said, i am still not ready to face the music, because previously when she became like that she will recover then back to normal, somehow i just hope to leave a confrontation until the very very last resort..
its not that i never tried to open myself to her, i tried but that only make her become depressed.
for example there was once i told her about what i was feeling when she treated me like crap, but then that only made her become depressed, and then she will put all the blame on her and say she's not a good gf and tell me to let go if i cannot stand her...
how like that? how to open to her? haiz.
somehow i feel, she has this desire to leave, but even she herself is not sure about it, thats why she treats me like that. perhaps now is the time for a confrontation. Delaying the inevitable perhaps? It's not that you are not ready, in fact you will never be ready as a matter of fact; you are just afraid of the consequences.
I always feel that people prefer to target themselves as the blame (that they are bad/lousy) to conclude the relationship, than to end the relationship amicably because it has to go.
People always mention that Love needs no reason to be together; similarly, it needs no reason for one to leave as well.
P.S: I believe you have your own plans now, therefore, I wonÂ’t put anymore words.
Cheers