Deep crush with female colleague... sigh
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I feeling very guilty now about being in a very deep crush with my female colleague. I've a girlfriend of 6 years and our relationahip has been wonderful, we've been travelling the world together many times and she's my best friend. Recently I had to work with this female colleague of mine on a project. Not sure how it happened but I just can't stop thinking about her.
During the project, we had drinks every night and we seem to get along extremely well. So well that I thought she was my girlfriend. I think she likes me as well, but I'm not sure. She would come to me to chat very often. As we drank, she would rest her head on my shoulder. I just feel so comfortable with her around.
Even in office today, we would chat like friends and make fun of each other. Nothing that hints that we are close. I can't help but look at her each time she walks past my desk. She would look at me and give me a sweet smile.
I'm feeling really in the pits right now. I know it's wrong. I don't want this to happen and I treasure my relationship with my girlfriend. I need the strength to break free of such feelings but can't seem to find it.
I'm ashamed to talk to anyone about this but to share it anonymously here. -
u said the word already
crush.
you know what to do. -
Does your colleague know that you're already attached?
Make it clear to her that you're already attached and you love your girlfriend very much. And meanwhile, sort your feelings out and be clear once and for all to whom your heart really belongs to.
And may I suggest laying off the alcohol. As you can see, it helps removes the inhibitions between you and your colleague. She may lay her head on your shoulder one day, but it may go further the next. -
lol u are letting it happen
if u really treasure ur current relationship then break off ur office relationship, if not just keep on going have 2 gf
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yo dude, it's perfectly normal.
BUT u got to ask urself, "What are the consequences if i take the wrong step?" Just imagine how disastrous it would be if u break ur gf's trust. That would stoop your morals to a new low.
As u have said, ur gf is your best friend, is she replaceable? If she's not, then u must reconsider your feelings and set it right.
I have been in the same shoes as you before, so i hope that helps. -
You treat your gf as your best friend? Something is wrong.Originally posted by gnehp:I feeling very guilty now about being in a very deep crush with my female colleague. I've a girlfriend of 6 years and our relationahip has been wonderful, we've been travelling the world together many times and she's my best friend. Recently I had to work with this female colleague of mine on a project. Not sure how it happened but I just can't stop thinking about her.
During the project, we had drinks every night and we seem to get along extremely well. So well that I thought she was my girlfriend. I think she likes me as well, but I'm not sure. She would come to me to chat very often. As we drank, she would rest her head on my shoulder. I just feel so comfortable with her around.
Even in office today, we would chat like friends and make fun of each other. Nothing that hints that we are close. I can't help but look at her each time she walks past my desk. She would look at me and give me a sweet smile.
I'm feeling really in the pits right now. I know it's wrong. I don't want this to happen and I treasure my relationship with my girlfriend. I need the strength to break free of such feelings but can't seem to find it.
I'm ashamed to talk to anyone about this but to share it anonymously here.
You talked about how much crush you have on her but does she feel the same way? Have you asked yourself if it is one-sided on your part?
Doko -
Nothing wrong what, my gf is also my best best best ever friend.Originally posted by dokono:You treat your gf as your best friend? Something is wrong.
You talked about how much crush you have on her but does she feel the same way? Have you asked yourself if it is one-sided on your part?
Doko -
for all positive advices, there must be negative.
ok la, have fun with your colleague, no strings attached.
next day meet gf and tell her how much you love her. -
U have a wonderful relationship for 6 yrs already
now u wan to throw everything away for one crush?
dude u seriously need to get ur head checked -
gf is not the same as best friend.Originally posted by Rock^Star:Nothing wrong what, my gf is also my best best best ever friend.
gf is lover material. I make romance to her. Big difference. If you treat your gf as your best friend, she might take you for granted or vice versa, the r/s may go bad.
I dun do that to my best friend. A best friend is still a friend at best.
doko -
I do appreciate if u can respect how other relationships work differently and are experienced differently from yours.Originally posted by dokono:gf is not the same as best friend.
gf is lover material. I make romance to her. Big difference. If you treat your gf as your best friend, she might take you for granted or vice versa, the r/s may go bad.
I dun do that to my best friend. A best friend is still a friend at best.
doko -
I forgot to tell you in my definitionOriginally posted by Rock^Star:I do appreciate if u can respect how other relationships work differently and are experienced differently from yours.
oh well, if it works well for you haha.
doko -
With due respect, maybe you give me a few specific examples of how you treat your gf as best friend?Originally posted by Rock^Star:I do appreciate if u can respect how other relationships work differently and are experienced differently from yours. 
doko -
Originally posted by gnehp:I feeling very guilty now about being in a very deep crush with my female colleague. I've a girlfriend of 6 years and our relationahip has been wonderful, we've been travelling the world together many times and she's my best friend. Recently I had to work with this female colleague of mine on a project. Not sure how it happened but I just can't stop thinking about her.
During the project, we had drinks every night and we seem to get along extremely well. So well that I thought she was my girlfriend. I think she likes me as well, but I'm not sure. She would come to me to chat very often. As we drank, she would rest her head on my shoulder. I just feel so comfortable with her around.
Even in office today, we would chat like friends and make fun of each other. Nothing that hints that we are close. I can't help but look at her each time she walks past my desk. She would look at me and give me a sweet smile.
I'm feeling really in the pits right now. I know it's wrong. I don't want this to happen and I treasure my relationship with my girlfriend. I need the strength to break free of such feelings but can't seem to find it.
I'm ashamed to talk to anyone about this but to share it anonymously here.
New broom sweeps clean; and alcohol make sure those new brooms appear newer.
It certainly feels good to be playful once in a while, but the minute you overly indulge in this play, it will become a tragic plot. Don't ever take blind flirting for real - enjoy the cheap thrill and get on with life.
If you dwell too long in those thoughts, you may lose focus and drop your stand.
Exercise self discipline if you feel you cannot handle it - don't play with fire if you cannot handle the unseen ramification of your weakness. Especially avoid alcohols (Moon possession and Neptune influence) and mundane private dates.
Succumb to moment of folly and you may regret incessantly.
Cheers -
do you still love your current girlfriend?
falling in love is nobody's choice, hope you know by now, so no one can blame you for falling for whoever that is. BUT, having an affair is your choice. remembering none of your other friends' birthday but hers is your choice. offering to drive her home every other work day is your choice. the list goes on, so you decide. -
will u all be meeting less after the project? If yes probably there's more chance of stop thinking of her. If u still see her everyday, then sorry u won't be able to stop thinking about her.Originally posted by gnehp:I feeling very guilty now about being in a very deep crush with my female colleague. I've a girlfriend of 6 years and our relationahip has been wonderful, we've been travelling the world together many times and she's my best friend. Recently I had to work with this female colleague of mine on a project. Not sure how it happened but I just can't stop thinking about her.
It's just human nature and i think it's normal for anyone to fall into such circumstances, but ur situation is not that good as ur collegue seemed to have interest in u too and it's highly probable that u'll betray ur gf if this goes on. -
If you can't handle it, maybe you should just learn to keep your distance away from her?Originally posted by gnehp:I feeling very guilty now about being in a very deep crush with my female colleague. I've a girlfriend of 6 years and our relationahip has been wonderful, we've been travelling the world together many times and she's my best friend. Recently I had to work with this female colleague of mine on a project. Not sure how it happened but I just can't stop thinking about her.
During the project, we had drinks every night and we seem to get along extremely well. So well that I thought she was my girlfriend. I think she likes me as well, but I'm not sure. She would come to me to chat very often. As we drank, she would rest her head on my shoulder. I just feel so comfortable with her around.
Even in office today, we would chat like friends and make fun of each other. Nothing that hints that we are close. I can't help but look at her each time she walks past my desk. She would look at me and give me a sweet smile.
I'm feeling really in the pits right now. I know it's wrong. I don't want this to happen and I treasure my relationship with my girlfriend. I need the strength to break free of such feelings but can't seem to find it.
I'm ashamed to talk to anyone about this but to share it anonymously here. -
Keep a distance away from her and remind Urself U r attached...
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gnehp. you must sit yourself down and ask yourself who do you really want.Originally posted by gnehp:I feeling very guilty now about being in a very deep crush with my female colleague. I've a girlfriend of 6 years and our relationahip has been wonderful, we've been travelling the world together many times and she's my best friend. Recently I had to work with this female colleague of mine on a project. Not sure how it happened but I just can't stop thinking about her.
During the project, we had drinks every night and we seem to get along extremely well. So well that I thought she was my girlfriend. I think she likes me as well, but I'm not sure. She would come to me to chat very often. As we drank, she would rest her head on my shoulder. I just feel so comfortable with her around.
Even in office today, we would chat like friends and make fun of each other. Nothing that hints that we are close. I can't help but look at her each time she walks past my desk. She would look at me and give me a sweet smile.
I'm feeling really in the pits right now. I know it's wrong. I don't want this to happen and I treasure my relationship with my girlfriend. I need the strength to break free of such feelings but can't seem to find it.
I'm ashamed to talk to anyone about this but to share it anonymously here.
I know ppl who make me WISH i'm single.... but that's just superficial... I am attracted to them. that's all at the end of it all, i still love my boy!
tell you what, take a short trip with your gf, for that trip cut off all contact with the 'outside world'. my guess is that after a 6 yr relationship, the sparks have diminished.... so do something out of the ordinary to put the spark back into the relationship!
by the way I admire the fact you feel that she's your best friend! all the more you shoould treasure her. it's not everyday we can find a partner who are also our bestfriend!!! -
wats wrong with treating gf as best fren?Originally posted by dokono:You treat your gf as your best friend? Something is wrong.
You talked about how much crush you have on her but does she feel the same way? Have you asked yourself if it is one-sided on your part?
Doko
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erm...dun tink so.Originally posted by dokono:gf is not the same as best friend.
gf is lover material. I make romance to her. Big difference. If you treat your gf as your best friend, she might take you for granted or vice versa, the r/s may go bad.
I dun do that to my best friend. A best friend is still a friend at best.
doko
A best fren means someone I share everything with. I share a lot of things about myself with my dear. He does the same to me as well. Whenever any of us has a problem, we will let each other know and will try to help each other out.
Of course, we are more than frens as well, we do have our intimate moments etc that frens do not have, but that does not mean he is not my best fren. I define close frens as those who will stand by you in the moment of needs and someone I can trust and have faith in.
If I cant find a best friend in my dear, who else can I find it in? I don't think I am that close to anyone else and no one else is always so ready to help me when I am in some deep trouble. And this does not lead to me taking him for granted. In fact it has helped us to appreaciate each other more.
Don't tell me that you do not share your problems with your gf? Does that cause her to take you for granted? Helping her when she is in trouble will cause her to do that to you?
if yes, then I think your relationship might be the dysfunctional one instead. -
dude ur problem is easy to solve
heres my solution its super effective
everytime u think of taht sexy colleague of urs give a call to ur gf and talk to her and stuff. Keep doing it to divert ur attention from ur colleague to ur gf -
HEAR HEAR!!!Originally posted by rainee:erm...dun tink so.
A best fren means someone I share everything with. I share a lot of things about myself with my dear. He does the same to me as well. Whenever any of us has a problem, we will let each other know and will try to help each other out.
Of course, we are more than frens as well, we do have our intimate moments etc that frens do not have, but that does not mean he is not my best fren. I define close frens as those who will stand by you in the moment of needs and someone I can trust and have faith in.
If I cant find a best friend in my dear, who else can I find it in? I don't think I am that close to anyone else and no one else is always so ready to help me when I am in some deep trouble. And this does not lead to me taking him for granted. In fact it has helped us to appreaciate each other more.
Don't tell me that you do not share your problems with your gf? Does that cause her to take you for granted? Helping her when she is in trouble will cause her to do that to you?
if yes, then I think your relationship might be the dysfunctional one instead.
*APPLAUSE* *APPLAUSE* -
1 post ?
y no reply from TS ? -
My definition of best friend: Someone who loves u totally and unselfishly (that includes guys friends). Someone whom u feel totally comfy with. Someone whom u can depend on. Someone whom u can trust. Someone whom there's absolute chemistry.Originally posted by dokono:With due respect, maybe you give me a few specific examples of how you treat your gf as best friend?
doko
My gf fulfils all the above and therefore, is my best friend too. And for those reasons, I have good guy friends but not best friends. Wait later become Brokeback Mountain!