Is It True?
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Bro, I can understand the Bu Gan Xing part, but you know that you are doing this for revenge, which given your character, should be more of an impluse rather than what you really want. Ask yourself, are you going to regret this after you've done it? Don't let her punish you twice (or trice or whatever number + 1). Forget about her, let her be and get on with your life. There are girls out there who deserve your attention more than she does.Originally posted by SpecOps87:Sighz...bro...u noe tt "bu gan xing" feeling...sighz. The sick side is telling me to do all the nasty things i can bout it. -
are you sure she doesn't have the means to return the money??Originally posted by SpecOps87:I mean its not me to squeeze people if they don't have the means to.And besides, I want to teach her a lesson on who are the people who are the fair-weather frens and those whom will stick by her. And also to teach her a lesson about not taking advantage of people.
anyway i doubt she will return it. you don't have real prove of debt anyway and you don't want to go to the expense of the lawsuit.
but go send it to her anyway and spread her story around. you owe it to the people around her to warn them. Must do good for the rest of human kind and your friends
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You know...sometimes my character irks me. I can think of the most hurtful things to do to someone, but i lack the balls to follow up on it and end up getting taken advantage of.DAmN!Originally posted by wisefool83:Bro, I can understand the Bu Gan Xing part, but you know that you are doing this for revenge, which given your character, should be more of an impluse rather than what you really want. Ask yourself, are you going to regret this after you've done it? Don't let her punish you twice (or trice or whatever number + 1). Forget about her, let her be and get on with your life. There are girls out there who deserve your attention more than she does. -
you have a point there.Originally posted by hisoka:the basic premise of lending money is that the borrower will pay it back, no need to say i want you to pay back.
unless its given that is.
If the other females believe that getting back money that was lent is not right then i'm guessing those females are not worth it either.
We don't know TS say to her I giving the money to you. Giving and lending are two different things.
doko -
Well,she has the means to return the money. but she spends it on clothes,make up and what not. My god...eversince she left me, I'm amazed that just this week because school just started I managed to save like 3/5 of my allowance man!Originally posted by hisoka:are you sure she doesn't have the means to return the money??
anyway i doubt she will return it. you don't have real prove of debt anyway and you don't want to go to the expense of the lawsuit.
but go send it to her anyway and spread her story around. you owe it to the people around her to warn them. Must do good for the rest of human kind and your friends -
Its not because you lack the balls, its because you lack the heart to be evil, why force upon yourself to be evil when so many people are trying to get those evil to be good? De rao ren chu qie rao ren. She may be a bad bad girl and it takes a bad bad boy to teach her to be good. You are not a bad bad boy, don't try to be one.Originally posted by SpecOps87:You know...sometimes my character irks me. I can think of the most hurtful things to do to someone, but i lack the balls to follow up on it and end up getting taken advantage of.DAmN! -
see so jsut get the money back or at least try.Originally posted by SpecOps87:Well,she has the means to return the money. but she spends it on clothes,make up and what not. My god...eversince she left me, I'm amazed that just this week because school just started I managed to save like 3/5 of my allowance man!
its not like shes hard up for the money.
don't see it as a way to punish her. its just a recalling of debts. think of yourself.
and the warning of others of her should be done as a way to colelct good karma and doing good deeds. -
Most females aren't actually going to find out all the facts, not that they are bad but because its inpractical. Imagine the girl going to some online forum and saying to other females about this boy who comes and demand money back from her after they broke off, is another female forumite going to trace down OpSpec and ask for his side of the story? If she's telling it to her circle of friends, her friends are also more incline to believe her story. Demanding the money back from her is hardly going to teach her any lesson, but only give her a further excuse to tarnish the TS's reputation, something he doesn't deserve to.Originally posted by dokono:you have a point there.
We don't know TS say to her I giving the money to you. Giving and lending are two different things.
doko -
Just for the record...when she asks for money its always like this," Hey, you pay for me first when I get my pay then I pay you back" or "You've got enough money? Can lend me first then I pay you back?" I mean I don't know...mebbe I'm living beyond my means but have any guys here asked their gf's back for money which they loan from them? What I've included in the spreadsheet are the times when she said "I will pay you back" it does not include a single cent on any of the stuff which I bought her willingingly or when she ask for I just buy for her. Its only those which she said she will pay me back.Originally posted by dokono:you have a point there.
We don't know TS say to her I giving the money to you. Giving and lending are two different things.
doko -
i'll say this if you are interested in what the female thinks for "pprocreational" purposes, then it would be a rather bad choice to get one that just believes what rumours are being passed along.Originally posted by wisefool83:Most females aren't actually going to find out all the facts, not that they are bad but because its inpractical. Imagine the girl going to some online forum and saying to other females about this boy who comes and demand money back from her after they broke off, is another female forumite going to trace down OpSpec and ask for his side of the story? If she's telling it to her circle of friends, her friends are also more incline to believe her story. Demanding the money back from her is hardly going to teach her any lesson, but only give her a further excuse to tarnish the TS's reputation, something he doesn't deserve to.
and the point is not getting back at her but to get whats his back.
+ thats why i told him to circulate his story. not too vigorously though. something like jsut tell a few gossipy friends but tell them not to pass around jsut say you need to talk to soem one. -
Originally posted by wisefool83:Most females aren't actually going to find out all the facts, not that they are bad but because its inpractical. Imagine the girl going to some online forum and saying to other females about this boy who comes and demand money back from her after they broke off, is another female forumite going to trace down OpSpec and ask for his side of the story? If she's telling it to her circle of friends, her friends are also more incline to believe her story. Demanding the money back from her is hardly going to teach her any lesson, but only give her a further excuse to tarnish the TS's reputation, something he doesn't deserve to.
This is really ethics depending the individual.
It's not wrong from TS point of view either, if he did say I "lend" to her. Hisoka is correct to say that when you lend money, you ought to get back the money, especially when money is hard-earned when it comes from a poor family. I, for one, will not take advantage of anyone.
At the same time, when you forget the money and totally cut the girl loose, you show you don't really take things personally, especially when you are rich.
It depends on how you see things. There is no right or wrong in this case. Just show manners when you do want to take the money back. Don't kick a big fuss over the money.
Girls with brains will know what is right.
doko -
Anyway...she's already told her circle of friends what I did to her. A couple of them did come speak to me...and they went like WTF! But then again...I'm not real cosy with them, so I'm not sure if they are listening out for her etc.Originally posted by hisoka:i'll say this if you are interested in what the female thinks for "pprocreational" purposes, then it would be a rather bad choice to get one that just believes what rumours are being passed along.
and the point is not getting back at her but to get whats his back.
+ thats why i told him to circulate his story. not too vigorously though. something like jsut tell a few gossipy friends but tell them not to pass around jsut say you need to talk to soem one. -
What Hisoka is arguing is that the ethical motivational correctness of OpSpec's intended action is correct, aka, he has the right to ask the money back.
I agree with that. My concern however is the consequence. I believe that not only will the TS not get his money back, but the girl is likely to make use of the matter and protray the TS as a jerk.
At this stage people may argue on whether the girl is going to succeed in protraying the TS as a jerk to her friends and others. Or some may argue that as long as the TS is ethically correct in his action, he will not have to care about what others will say about him.
But I think that no matter how successful the girl is going to be in her spread of lies, some people will believe her and the TS will suffer to a certain degree, may not be large, but will. The compensation to this? None, since I also do not believe that the girl will give him back the money.
So why do something that is surely going to result in something bad without getting anything in return? -
The thing is...I know it will make me look bad if she badmouths me that I ask for the loans back. And if I don't I will most probably just fade off and become invisible. Thing is that...its silly and petty but I wanna get back in some way.Sighz...
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Ic...Originally posted by SpecOps87:Just for the record...when she asks for money its always like this," Hey, you pay for me first when I get my pay then I pay you back" or "You've got enough money? Can lend me first then I pay you back?" I mean I don't know...mebbe I'm living beyond my means but have any guys here asked their gf's back for money which they loan from them? What I've included in the spreadsheet are the times when she said "I will pay you back" it does not include a single cent on any of the stuff which I bought her willingingly or when she ask for I just buy for her. Its only those which she said she will pay me back.
then really it's up to you if you want to get the money back. I personally don't think it's wrong. Girls with brains and heart will agree with your case if they really see from an objective view. She said it herself that she will return to you.
If you really want to get it back, don't make it sound like you are after her life. You can also tell her friends she promised to return it to you. Don't bother to argue with them. You can ask them to help you if she don't want to return. Find a more reasonable friend of hers to help you. You may consider giving her a treat if she helps you to get the money back.
doko -
thats why he should start some constructive true speadingOriginally posted by wisefool83:What Hisoka is arguing is that the ethical motivational correctness of OpSpec's intended action is correct, aka, he has the right to ask the money back.
I agree with that. My concern however is the consequence. I believe that not only will the TS not get his money back, but the girl is likely to make use of the matter and protray the TS as a jerk.
At this stage people may argue on whether the girl is going to succeed in protraying the TS as a jerk to her friends and others. Or some may argue that as long as the TS is ethically correct in his action, he will not have to care about what others will say about him.
But I think that no matter how successful the girl is going to be in her spread of lies, some people will believe her and the TS will suffer to a certain degree, may not be large, but will. The compensation to this? None, since I also do not believe that the girl will give him back the money.
So why do something that is surely going to result in something bad without getting anything in return?
he may not get much back materially, but sometimes the satisfaction is imense, thats a subjective thing of course.
+ i don't think it will result very badly on him as mentioned.
even if he doesn't ask for the money i think the truth should be spread around abeilt done in a perveicved upright and convert manner -
Frankly, its not about dollars and cents. Its more of a matter of principle which she is so lacking in.Sighz...
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I don't think you are currently in any favourable position to dish out your revenge. Spreading truth will only be perceived as spreading rumours by your ex's friends. Exercising your right at this point in time is only going to make you look bad. I mean, if you go and tell pple now that she owed you money, people may think like, "wah, this guy like that one ar, just break up only start bad mouthing her already." Furthermore, no matter how clever your revenge is at this point in time, if your ex knows that you are behind it, she will only hate you more and prob not going to learn any lesson anyway, if there's anything you will teach her now by asserting revenge, its to teach her to hate.Originally posted by SpecOps87:Frankly, its not about dollars and cents. Its more of a matter of principle which she is so lacking in.Sighz...
Revenge however, is a dish best served cold, image a number of years from now, when your ex had showed her character more to her friends and your mutual friends, your words are going to be so much more credible. And if then you start telling pple how many years ago she dumped you and you didn't even bothered to ask your money back from her, people will be impressed. As for teaching her a lesson, perhaps you can prepare a speech first, since she had come back to you once, there's a good chance she will want to get to with you again since her present bf is jobless and is unable to sustain her spending habit.
Patient my friend. Just wait, time is on your side. -
Shall wait and see then...you're right that the odds are against me now. But yeah, perhaps patience is a virtue that I've to cultivate. Don't buy fish that's still in the sea right?
But really...any ladies can tell me if what my 1st post in this thread is true.Thanks -
Yes.
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hmmz true also now he only can do small things to her.Originally posted by wisefool83:I don't think you are currently in any favourable position to dish out your revenge. Spreading truth will only be perceived as spreading rumours by your ex's friends. Exercising your right at this point in time is only going to make you look bad. I mean, if you go and tell pple now that she owed you money, people may think like, "wah, this guy like that one ar, just break up only start bad mouthing her already." Furthermore, no matter how clever your revenge is at this point in time, if your ex knows that you are behind it, she will only hate you more and prob not going to learn any lesson anyway, if there's anything you will teach her now by asserting revenge, its to teach her to hate.
Revenge however, is a dish best served cold, image a number of years from now, when your ex had showed her character more to her friends and your mutual friends, your words are going to be so much more credible. And if then you start telling pple how many years ago she dumped you and you didn't even bothered to ask your money back from her, people will be impressed. As for teaching her a lesson, perhaps you can prepare a speech first, since she had come back to you once, there's a good chance she will want to get to with you again since her present bf is jobless and is unable to sustain her spending habit.
Patient my friend. Just wait, time is on your side.
maybe next time he can have a chance to get her thrown into jail or killed or whatever.
bid your time and wait! -
on the whole, women are troublesome
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Got IOU?Originally posted by hisoka:nay.
he should get the money back.
note that its not gifts to her but money she borrowed from him. he has every right to get it back. besides when she dropped him and even when she two/three-timed him she gave up all rights of him being nice to her.
Its getting back the money thats owed to him, collecting debts not demanding money back. -
Diaoz...you ask yourgf to write IOU and fill up form when she borrow money from you ah my friend? Besides...I dun even practice tt to my frensOriginally posted by Devil1976:Got IOU? -
PRECISELY MY POINT... If you don't mind giving her that kinda $ back then... Or you trust her enough for that...Originally posted by SpecOps87:Diaoz...you ask yourgf to write IOU and fill up form when she borrow money from you ah my friend? Besides...I dun even practice tt to my frens
Be prepared to SUCK THUMB if she doesn't wanna pay you back... You can try asking... But ultimately it'll be DIFFICULT to trace back....