Is that love?
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I was with him for 5 years. Loved him so much during the 5 years. Tried so hard to make it work, but it just didnt work. Finally we couldnt take it , and we called it off.
It has been more than 2.5 years since we parted. I had 2 bfs after that, which didnt work out. but somehow, i feel that there is still this feeling i have for him, this deep feeling, that sometimes i feel severe pain in my heart. I feel that im waiting for him, but im not so sure. Im juz so confused about this feeling.
Is this love? Do i still love him? -
Yes. You still love him. But this love wont be strong enough to be actually attracted to him. In other words to be together with him again. Unless of course both of you starts to spend time together again.
Its normal la. 5 years together. u wont forget him so easily. too many memories together.
and ur 2 ex's is not even half the amount of time spent with ur 5 years one. so it will make u think...whether the 5 years one is the one for you...
well..in short... yes. u still love him.
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i dunno. but we are so not meant to be, we are so different, what we want are so different. i wanted to move on, but i couldnt (unless u called it moved on). why? cos i din try hard enuff? or subconsciously i refuse to give up?
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Wow 2.5 yrs after le
Does he has a gf currently?
are u both still frens and got meet up or at least sms/msn? -
well i cant say much as i do not know much abt ur situation...Originally posted by galfriend:i dunno. but we are so not meant to be, we are so different, what we want are so different. i wanted to move on, but i couldnt (unless u called it moved on). why? cos i din try hard enuff? or subconsciously i refuse to give up?
but... yeah... ppl will say..i wan to move on tat kind of thing... but in their heart..like u said... they do not wan to give up...
i mean...both of u have been there for 5 years now... certain part of you would not wan to let it go just like tat... i know i didnt want to the last time...
somemore...its not even abt 3rd party... its just abt compatibility rite?
u did tried hard... tats y u got a new bf...but when u break off with tat one..im sure u would feel like... this jittery feeling abt your 5 years one... some kind of longingness -
No, both of us are still single. i am 33 years old and he is 38. we still go out with our friends as we have a lot of mutual friends. i want to settle down. i have a few very eligible guys courting me, but i feel that i am waiting for him, but i know we are not suitable.Originally posted by pierre^^:Wow 2.5 yrs after le
Does he has a gf currently?
are u both still frens and got meet up or at least sms/msn?
I told him outrightly. he said if one day he wants to settle down, i will be the woman he wants to marry. but, he is not settling down yet.
i am not waiting, thats why i am dating other guys casually, looking for a suitable guy. But will this work? Do i still love him? if i do love him, will this work? if i dont love him, what is this? -
wat?? 33 and 38Originally posted by galfriend:No, both of us are still single. i am 33 years old and he is 38. we still go out with our friends as we have a lot of mutual friends. i want to settle down. i have a few very eligible guys courting me, but i feel that i am waiting for him, but i know we are not suitable.
I told him outrightly. he said if one day he wants to settle down, i will be the woman he wants to marry. but, he is not settling down yet.
i am not waiting, thats why i am dating other guys casually, looking for a suitable guy. But will this work? Do i still love him? if i do love him, will this work? if i dont love him, what is this?
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does he still loves u?Originally posted by galfriend:No, both of us are still single. i am 33 years old and he is 38. we still go out with our friends as we have a lot of mutual friends. i want to settle down. i have a few very eligible guys courting me, but i feel that i am waiting for him, but i know we are not suitable.
I told him outrightly. he said if one day he wants to settle down, i will be the woman he wants to marry. but, he is not settling down yet.
i am not waiting, thats why i am dating other guys casually, looking for a suitable guy. But will this work? Do i still love him? if i do love him, will this work? if i dont love him, what is this? -
if i do not know if i love him, do you think i will know if he loves me?Originally posted by mhcampboy:does he still loves u?
but he does treat me well still.
One weird thing, i find that we dun miss the company of each other. if we do love each other, why is this so? -
yes, we both have been working hard to build our career. We are both still very attractive to opposite sex at this age, thats why we are still not worried about the age factor. His reason for not settling down is business expansion. HOnestly, i think the truth is, he is not ready to settle down.Originally posted by NT2:wat?? 33 and 38 -
Well, i think its more like you both appreciated the time together between u two.Originally posted by galfriend:if i do not know if i love him, do you think i will know if he loves me?
but he does treat me well still.
One weird thing, i find that we dun miss the company of each other. if we do love each other, why is this so?
but seriously, no one can ever forget a relationship and love just like tat.
u learn a lot abt a person in 5 years. so u tend to have that kind of bond with him. im sure he has to. -
yes, i agree with you. The 5 years is the most unforgettable part of my life. I had never loved someone as much as that, and im not sure if i can still love someone that much. But it was a painful 5 years.Originally posted by mhcampboy:Well, i think its more like you both appreciated the time together between u two.
but seriously, no one can ever forget a relationship and love just like tat.
u learn a lot abt a person in 5 years. so u tend to have that kind of bond with him. im sure he has to.
During the 5 years, we bonded. so much so, we are like family. we still care for each other, and understand each other so well. i can even know that he is about to lie before he lies.
But during the 2.5 years, we dont spend time alone anymore, and i dun think we miss spend time together. but if this not love, what is this clinging feeling in my heart? what is this feeling that makes me feel choked by tears now? what is this feeling that makes me think i do miss him? what is this feeling that causes my heart to ache? -
u already answered that. all the tears. all the missingness. all the feeling is because of the bond u had with him. u know him inside out.Originally posted by galfriend:yes, i agree with you. The 5 years is the most unforgettable part of my life. I had never loved someone as much as that, and im not sure if i can still love someone that much. But it was a painful 5 years.
During the 5 years, we bonded. so much so, we are like family. we still care for each other, and understand each other so well. i can even know that he is about to lie before he lies.
But during the 2.5 years, we dont spend time alone anymore, and i dun think we miss spend time together. but if this not love, what is this clinging feeling in my heart? what is this feeling that makes me feel choked by tears now? what is this feeling that makes me think i do miss him? what is this feeling that causes my heart to ache?
realtionship has its ups and down.
i read somewhere...
even if u quarrel or cant stand each other anymore... u got to love the realtionship. when u love a relationship... u will look back at all the memories u both had together... and tat alone will bond u closer and never break away.
so yeah... tears fall because of him right? u miss him a bit right?
now tell me this is not love.... -
Waiting for Yun's reply neh.
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i dunno. i dunno if i still love him, or i m still love the notion of loving him, of being in such 'ke gu ming xin', 'hong hong lie lie' type of love. i dunno if i miss him and cant move on from him, or cant move on from the memories.Originally posted by mhcampboy:u already answered that. all the tears. all the missingness. all the feeling is because of the bond u had with him. u know him inside out.
realtionship has its ups and down.
i read somewhere...
even if u quarrel or cant stand each other anymore... u got to love the realtionship. when u love a relationship... u will look back at all the memories u both had together... and tat alone will bond u closer and never break away.
so yeah... tears fall because of him right? u miss him a bit right?
now tell me this is not love....
One thing im sure, we are not compatible. -
Yes, me too. Will like to see from Yun's perspective.Originally posted by browniebaobao:Waiting for Yun's reply neh. -
Well... maybe this 2.5 years has taught you something or changes your life? maybe now u can adapt better to him?Originally posted by galfriend:i dunno. i dunno if i still love him, or i m still love the notion of loving him, of being in such 'ke gu ming xin', 'hong hong lie lie' type of love. i dunno if i miss him and cant move on from him, or cant move on from the memories.
One thing im sure, we are not compatible.
try talking to him abt it laa... no harm in doing so. since u urself say there is no love right?
who knows... he might have a change of heart too.. -
yes, this 2.5 years has taught me that life still goes on with or without him. In fact, life is better these days. Hence further assures the thought that we are not compatible.Originally posted by mhcampboy:Well... maybe this 2.5 years has taught you something or changes your life? maybe now u can adapt better to him?
try talking to him abt it laa... no harm in doing so. since u urself say there is no love right?
who knows... he might have a change of heart too.. -
i also cant forget my first love.Originally posted by galfriend:Yes, me too. Will like to see from Yun's perspective.
tho im open to others liao, but deep in my heart i know there will not be another person who will make me love so deeply.
and i know that i will never forget him de.
All these yrs i thot i have gotten him out of my mind, but i realize deep in the bottom of my heart, he's there...
is that love or yi han? that I ever loved someone so much, done so much, and the outcome was not what I want to be.. and so I'm still harping on it... Is that so? -
but u can never deny the fact tat u still miss him and have a slight twist of love to him..Originally posted by galfriend:yes, this 2.5 years has taught me that life still goes on with or without him. In fact, life is better these days. Hence further assures the thought that we are not compatible.
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Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.................... Nvm.
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yes? please share your perspective....Originally posted by Bontakun:Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.................... Nvm. -
i think the pain during the breakup was so intense, that it set me on a denial mode for so long. i have been manageing my emotions so well, so much so that even i myself am not aware of my feelings anymore. Have considered if i should see a shrink actually.Originally posted by mhcampboy:but u can never deny the fact tat u still miss him and have a slight twist of love to him.. -
But seriously now, ask urself... how do u feel now? and wad do u want?Originally posted by galfriend:i think the pain during the breakup was so intense, that it set me on a denial mode for so long. i have been manageing my emotions so well, so much so that even i myself am not aware of my feelings anymore. Have considered if i should see a shrink actually.
do u feel any jealousy before? do u want to be with him now?
what is ur heart telling u? -
yes, is what we still having still love? or yi han?Originally posted by browniebaobao:i also cant forget my first love.
tho im open to others liao, but deep in my heart i know there will not be another person who will make me love so deeply.
and i know that i will never forget him de.
All these yrs i thot i have gotten him out of my mind, but i realize deep in the bottom of my heart, he's there...
is that love or yi han? that I ever loved someone so much, done so much, and the outcome was not what I want to be.. and so I'm still harping on it... Is that so?
why is there such intense and sharp pain in my heart still?