"I can't forget him, sorry..." WTF
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how do you know you are well prepared? how to balance this vs missing the window period (avoiding the problem of 'the moment has passed')?Originally posted by Bontakun:Rushing into a relationship without both parties well prepared? -
Well prepared? Eh... dat 1 is subjective. Everyone has diff waes of getting prepared.Originally posted by blu_sky:how do you know you are well prepared? how to balance this vs missing the window (avoiding the problem of 'the moment has past')?
Me?
Get to know the other party well 1st before jumping into one. Once you believe you know the person well, you will know he/she/it is ready for a higher level of relationship than friends. It is then you decide should you go for it or remain as friends.
Missing the window?
This is different and perhaps more difficult to say. When you know the person well, you will know the quirks and the characteristic of the person. Is he/she/it someone who wants to settle down soon? Or is he/she/it waiting for a better person? Perhaps he/she/it just want to have fun?
There is no definate or absolute way regarding your question. You will have to trust your judgement and trust the other party. -
sometimes in life, some people dun even understand themselves, how is it possible to understand them?Originally posted by Bontakun:Well prepared? Eh... dat 1 is subjective. Everyone has diff waes of getting prepared.
Me?
Get to know the other party well 1st before jumping into one. Once you believe you know the person well, you will know he/she/it is ready for a higher level of relationship than friends. It is then you decide should you go for it or remain as friends.
Missing the window?
This is different and perhaps more difficult to say. When you know the person well, you will know the quirks and the characteristic of the person. Is he/she/it someone who wants to settle down soon? Or is he/she/it waiting for a better person? Perhaps he/she/it just want to have fun?
There is no definate or absolute way regarding your question. You will have to trust your judgement and trust the other party.
EG The TS' case, how can he know that his gal still cant forget her ex when she only discovered it after she went into a relationship? -
hmm.. not necessarily a bad thing.Originally posted by blu_sky:sometimes in life, some people dun even understand themselves, how is it possible to understand them?
There's also such a thing as 'selfless'. -
Care to elaborate?Originally posted by Magnus:hmm.. not necessarily a bad thing.
There's also such a thing as 'selfless'. -
We can never understand ourselves 100% (Dun ask me y... I dun even understand myself at times...). We only need to understand ourselves well enough to decide what we do, where should we go and how we do about it in life.Originally posted by blu_sky:sometimes in life, some people dun even understand themselves, how is it possible to understand them?
EG The TS' case, how can he know that his gal still cant forget her ex when she only discovered it after she went into a relationship?
In the case of the topic, yes the girl only realised it after they went into a relationship. Now imagine this, WHAT IF Hellraiza refused to go into the r/s with the girl? Consider the possibility that the girl may somehow recall she still have feelings for her ex. What she may do regarding that is another thing but the main thing is time will tell. WHAT IF he decided to wait for... 2 years before attempting to woo her? Maybe by that time the girl may have sorted out her feelings and such and made things alot easier and much simpler.
Its more than just a case of "windows of opportunities". Its about patience and timing. -
Yes, time will tell. But i find waiting for two years in this age is appalling, unless they are in their teens.Originally posted by Bontakun:We can never understand ourselves 100% (Dun ask me y... I dun even understand myself at times...). We only need to understand ourselves well enough to decide what we do, where should we go and how we do about it in life.
In the case of the topic, yes the girl only realised it after they went into a relationship. Now imagine this, WHAT IF Hellraiza refused to go into the r/s with the girl? Consider the possibility that the girl may somehow recall she still have feelings for her ex. What she may do regarding that is another thing but the main thing is time will tell. WHAT IF he decided to wait for... 2 years before attempting to woo her? Maybe by that time the girl may have sorted out her feelings and such and made things alot easier and much simpler.
Its more than just a case of "windows of opportunities". Its about patience and timing. -
Actually, if you want to compare to a lifetime of happiness and bliss, 2 years is short and worth the wait. It will also give you ample time to consider what you are doing, how much faith you have in this.Originally posted by blu_sky:Yes, time will tell. But i find waiting for two years in this age is appalling, unless they are in their teens.
But try not to justify too much, it may confused you even further.
Remember: always see the bigger picture behind it. -
two years can only happen in drama or movie, in real life its ridiculous unless both of them live in very isolated place like nepal or manchuria or even timbuktu
in this fast paced MTV lifestlye, love can start and end in two weeks and if its mean to be, two days is already enough, two years is just being cheeky with fate. You may wait two years but will the other party be willing to do so?
i understand all this romantist , wait years and no pre marital sex, but those only exist in mills and boons
wit so many temptations in life and attractions we are in a new generation of love and sex.
lets be practical and realistic and face the fact;
LOVE CAN HIT YOU ANY TIME! AND IF IT HAPPENS, IT HAPPENS!
dont put a measuring tape or a gauge on it, it just mechanised it, go with the flow and listen to your heart. and hey , if you make a mistake at least it yours and well at least you can claim that you was in love before!
cheers
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For the first time, i have something to agree with you. And no, im still not meeting you.Originally posted by Space1999:two years can only happen in drama or movie, in real life its ridiculous unless both of them live in very isolated place like nepal or manchuria or even timbuktu
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breakfast?Originally posted by blu_sky:For the first time, i have something to agree with you. And no, im still not meeting you.
you never know, i may be the one you are waiting for. and i know you are still waiting -
From this I can see how you live your life. Interesting but not my style. We all have different lifestyles and we all view everything differently.Originally posted by Space1999:two years can only happen in drama or movie, in real life its ridiculous unless both of them live in very isolated place like nepal or manchuria or even timbuktu in this fast paced MTV lifestlye, love can start and end in two weeks and if its mean to be, two days is already enough, two years is just being cheeky with fate. You may wait two years but will the other party be willing to do so?
i understand all this romantist , wait years and no pre marital sex, but those only exist in mills and boons wit so many temptations in life and attractions we are in a new generation of love and sex.
lets be practical and realistic and face the fact;
LOVE CAN HIT YOU ANY TIME! AND IF IT HAPPENS, IT HAPPENS!
dont put a measuring tape or a gauge on it, it just mechanised it, go with the flow and listen to your heart. and hey , if you make a mistake at least it yours and well at least you can claim that you was in love before!
cheers
Beers. -
I can see you're still trying...Originally posted by Space1999:breakfast?
you never know, i may be the one you are waiting for. and i know you are still waiting 
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Wow...just logged on after reaching home from work and i'm already bombarded with so many POVs...all of them make sense of course.
Interestingly enough, she sms-ed me last night.."Are u asleep?" to which i replied no...
"No im not asleep. What's up?"
"I was just thinking of you, that's all" (at this point i was farking tempted to reply not thinking of your ex meh, but i tahan.)
"Yeah, i've been thinking of you too."
"So if you've been thinking of me, why didn't you call me?"
"I did, but you didn't want to answer, remember?"
"Sorry...at that time i was confused and wanted to be left alone...Ever since that day i've not been sleeping well."
"You should take care of yourself...go see a doctor."
"Why have you been thinking of me?"
"Well it's not easy to forget you, you know."
"Do you want to forget me?" (WOMEN. Sheesh.)
"Do YOU want me to forget you?" (had to even up the score...lol)
"After what i did, you still think of me? I disappointed you so badly..."
"What is your point?"
"I really liked you, but i feel that you will be happier with someone else..im just not good enough"
"Let me be the judge of that..."
"sigh. Ok. Can you give me a wake up call tomorrow at the same time?" (WTF?)
"Hmm okay..i call you tmr morning..Goodnight."
"Goodnight too, sweet dreams.."
I leave it up to your interpretation... -
Ya yaOriginally posted by Hellraiza:Wow...just logged on after reaching home from work and i'm already bombarded with so many POVs...all of them make sense of course.
Interestingly enough, she sms-ed me last night.."Are u asleep?" to which i replied no...
"No im not asleep. What's up?"
"I was just thinking of you, that's all" (at this point i was farking tempted to reply not thinking of your ex meh, but i tahan.)
"Yeah, i've been thinking of you too."
"So if you've been thinking of me, why didn't you call me?"
"I did, but you didn't want to answer, remember?"
"Sorry...at that time i was confused and wanted to be left alone...Ever since that day i've not been sleeping well."
"You should take care of yourself...go see a doctor."
"Why have you been thinking of me?"
"Well it's not easy to forget you, you know."
"Do you want to forget me?" (WOMEN. Sheesh.)
"Do YOU want me to forget you?" (had to even up the score...lol)
"After what i did, you still think of me? I disappointed you so badly..."
"What is your point?"
"I really liked you, but i feel that you will be happier with someone else..im just not good enough"
"Let me be the judge of that..."
"sigh. Ok. Can you give me a wake up call tomorrow at the same time?" (WTF?)
"Hmm okay..i call you tmr morning..Goodnight."
"Goodnight too, sweet dreams.."
I leave it up to your interpretation...
"I really loved you you know?! But I just can't be with you. You know? I kept thinking about you but I just can't force myself to go out and have fun/make out with you. I like you but I just cannot find a reason to stay with you more than other guys so we need to cool off...bla bla"
This is damn classic huh?! Stroking your ego and make you feel so happy. But I tell you there's nothing. Just playing with you. She wants the attention you got it?
You want, ask her out and see what she says.
doko -
She can't make up her mind? What you gonna do? Wake up call? Or no?Originally posted by Hellraiza:Wow...just logged on after reaching home from work and i'm already bombarded with so many POVs...all of them make sense of course.
Interestingly enough, she sms-ed me last night.."Are u asleep?" to which i replied no...
"No im not asleep. What's up?"
"I was just thinking of you, that's all" (at this point i was farking tempted to reply not thinking of your ex meh, but i tahan.)
"Yeah, i've been thinking of you too."
"So if you've been thinking of me, why didn't you call me?"
"I did, but you didn't want to answer, remember?"
"Sorry...at that time i was confused and wanted to be left alone...Ever since that day i've not been sleeping well."
"You should take care of yourself...go see a doctor."
"Why have you been thinking of me?"
"Well it's not easy to forget you, you know."
"Do you want to forget me?" (WOMEN. Sheesh.)
"Do YOU want me to forget you?" (had to even up the score...lol)
"After what i did, you still think of me? I disappointed you so badly..."
"What is your point?"
"I really liked you, but i feel that you will be happier with someone else..im just not good enough"
"Let me be the judge of that..."
"sigh. Ok. Can you give me a wake up call tomorrow at the same time?" (WTF?)
"Hmm okay..i call you tmr morning..Goodnight."
"Goodnight too, sweet dreams.."
I leave it up to your interpretation... -
i just chill lah...at first kana sucked in...then when it came to the wake up call part, i bit dulan...smlj!
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hmm....
tian ya he chu wu fang cao; he bi dan lian yi zhi hua?
just treat her normally as u would do to a fren...
if after a few mths u feel u still got feelings for her, and she's sorted out her feelings n all that... why not?
but some females take much longer to sort it out..
me... it took me 1 year plus.... close to 1.5 years before i finally got over my ex-bf.. completely. -
Normally I dun do dis but... When it comes to dis rite... I got smth for you with regards to her.Originally posted by Hellraiza:i just chill lah...at first kana sucked in...then when it came to the wake up call part, i bit dulan...smlj! 
Its towards her, not you hor. -
then you still agree to call her tmr morning?Originally posted by Hellraiza:i just chill lah...at first kana sucked in...then when it came to the wake up call part, i bit dulan...smlj!
doko -
then what was i supposed to say? No? Aiyah i damn soft hearted...at first i thought wanna go all out to woo her...but after all your well meaning advice...if i did, it would be a slap in the face of all you guys here...i think i need to distract myself..Originally posted by dokono:then you still agree to call her tmr morning?
doko -
wah piang...laugh until toh tau peng!Originally posted by Bontakun:Normally I dun do dis but... When it comes to dis rite... I got smth for you with regards to her.
Its towards her, not you hor. -
Originally posted by Hellraiza:wah piang...laugh until toh tau peng!
I like the way the old man raises his hands. Amusing.
doko -
Call her loh... but 3 rings will do.Originally posted by Hellraiza:then what was i supposed to say? No? Aiyah i damn soft hearted...at first i thought wanna go all out to woo her...but after all your well meaning advice...if i did, it would be a slap in the face of all you guys here...i think i need to distract myself.. -
haha..Originally posted by Hellraiza:then what was i supposed to say? No? Aiyah i damn soft hearted...at first i thought wanna go all out to woo her...but after all your well meaning advice...if i did, it would be a slap in the face of all you guys here...i think i need to distract myself..
why don't you ask her to give you a wake up call instead? Don't jus sit there and allow her to take the mental insult from her.
or you can say: shouldnt that guy do the wake-up call for you?
doko