What can i do???
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Hi guys,
Just initiated a cool off with my gf. It has already been on my mind for a while already. I plucked up the courage to ask for it yesterday night. Reason being everytime after a quarrel, she would hasten me for a solution, and seeing her so upset and hurt, i usually give in by saying im ok already and make up with her. Yesterday, i just felt too tired. She's my longest gf to date. A looker she is not, average and a rather complicated history behind her. However she wins with her charm and caring personality. Just that i feel her love is sometimes too overwhelming. She will talk about seeing a future together when im going overseas next year for studies. She says she sees that im the one. All these pressure, i just dont know how to handle. I mean im serious and committed with her, but i dont like to make promises in the future when it does not happen.
We dated very very briefly before getting together. Maybe briefly wouldnt even come close. But we lasted a year plus. Endless quarrels and differences. But that aside, sometimes i just feel whether im limiting myself too much by not socialising. She on the other hand, has dated quite abit, thus she's been in a few long relationships to know what she wants. Me, i've only to say she's my longest relationship partly because she's more initiative. I've realised sometimes what one's insecurities can do in a relationship and make both suffer. She's been having a hard time at work, and i had to tell her that yesterday. It's really hard for me too. I just needed to breathe....space to breathe. Mostly when we're together, i feel i cant keep up with her. I cant keep up with her requests and many other things.
Last night when i was in bed, just felt so hurt. Hurt for her, and also i missed abit of the times we're together cos we've been seeing each other almost every other day for the past 1 year or so. Is it that i really liked her? Then why do i always think i deserve a better and more prettier and demure girl? She's waiting for an answer though she told me she dare not hope. Prayed to God, but i need an answer. -
Hmm.
You think god can give you your answer? -
If you do not find a way, no one will.
Whats yours and your gf horoscope? -
Im gemini, she's virgo. Anyway, maybe it's because im selfish on my part? im just afraid what if i can never find another girl who can take all my nonsenses again. arghh....
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yawn,
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Hmm, I find it weird that you say you cant keep up with her???Originally posted by Insightist:Im gemini, she's virgo. Anyway, maybe it's because im selfish on my part? im just afraid what if i can never find another girl who can take all my nonsenses again. arghh.... -
Hmm, but what does she request of you which you cant provide?
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Like when she demands the same level of attention and care she gives me.
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Come tell us more.Originally posted by Insightist:Like when she demands the same level of attention and care she gives me.
Did she demand because you didn't give her enough attention and care?
What did you do which she is still not satisfied?
Cheers -
your story very confusing lar
tell us more in details what u are saying and put them in paragraphs -
Maybe since the start of the relationship everything happened so fast. Let's just say whatever boundaries i've set myself for in a relationship were all broken. At times i'm wondering am i going in the right direction. Attention as in, she will do alot for me, but at the same time she hopes that i would do the same since we're in the relationship and that i have "same" amount of feelings for her.
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you sound like a girlOriginally posted by Insightist:Maybe since the start of the relationship everything happened so fast. Let's just say whatever boundaries i've set myself for in a relationship were all broken. At times i'm wondering am i going in the right direction. Attention as in, she will do alot for me, but at the same time she hopes that i would do the same since we're in the relationship and that i have "same" amount of feelings for her. -
you sound petty
i think its okay for a girl to be a bit petty
but for a guy you sound really petty, if you are man, decide fast , no need to ask us this and that
she is your girlfriend not ours -
what is it that you feel you need that she is not giving you?Originally posted by Insightist:Hi guys,
Just initiated a cool off with my gf. It has already been on my mind for a while already. I plucked up the courage to ask for it yesterday night. Reason being everytime after a quarrel, she would hasten me for a solution, and seeing her so upset and hurt, i usually give in by saying im ok already and make up with her. Yesterday, i just felt too tired. She's my longest gf to date. A looker she is not, average and a rather complicated history behind her. However she wins with her charm and caring personality. Just that i feel her love is sometimes too overwhelming. She will talk about seeing a future together when im going overseas next year for studies. She says she sees that im the one. All these pressure, i just dont know how to handle. I mean im serious and committed with her, but i dont like to make promises in the future when it does not happen.
We dated very very briefly before getting together. Maybe briefly wouldnt even come close. But we lasted a year plus. Endless quarrels and differences. But that aside, sometimes i just feel whether im limiting myself too much by not socialising. She on the other hand, has dated quite abit, thus she's been in a few long relationships to know what she wants. Me, i've only to say she's my longest relationship partly because she's more initiative. I've realised sometimes what one's insecurities can do in a relationship and make both suffer. She's been having a hard time at work, and i had to tell her that yesterday. It's really hard for me too. I just needed to breathe....space to breathe. Mostly when we're together, i feel i cant keep up with her. I cant keep up with her requests and many other things.
Last night when i was in bed, just felt so hurt. Hurt for her, and also i missed abit of the times we're together cos we've been seeing each other almost every other day for the past 1 year or so. Is it that i really liked her? Then why do i always think i deserve a better and more prettier and demure girl? She's waiting for an answer though she told me she dare not hope. Prayed to God, but i need an answer. -
The TS, being young, hasnt been in much relationship, hasnt seen the world enuff, hasnt been with enuff women, thinks that his gf is not ideally pretty and demure enuff for him?Originally posted by smudgey:what is it that you feel you need that she is not giving you?
Am i rite, TS? -
Virgo are known to be perfectionist, and geminians have short attention span and flirtatious. im not surprised actuallyOriginally posted by shade343:Hmm, I find it weird that you say you cant keep up with her???
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that's what i gather too....Originally posted by blu_sky:The TS, being young, hasnt been in much relationship, hasnt seen the world enuff, hasnt been with enuff women, thinks that his gf is not ideally pretty and demure enuff for him?
Am i rite, TS?
especially his sentence below.
Insightist, I don't think you really love her.Originally posted by Insightist:Then why do i always think i deserve a better and more prettier and demure girl?
cos when you really love someone, even if she's no nichole kidman, you'll still love her... and remember you are no tom cruise yourself!
I admit, that my bf is not the most handsome man i've ever laid my eyes on. In fact, if he were not my bf, i'll tell you he's not my type!!!
BUT he is my bf, and I love him. I always tell him that he deserves someone with better patience, more gentle...etc. but at the end of the day he just wants me!
remember one thing, Insightist, Dream man and Dream Girls ONLY EXIST in DREAMS!
love your gf for who she is, not for what she looks like!!! -
ya, at least tats wad i felt after reading.Originally posted by blu_sky:The TS, being young, hasnt been in much relationship, hasnt seen the world enuff, hasnt been with enuff women, thinks that his gf is not ideally pretty and demure enuff for him?
Am i rite, TS?
hmm, TS, conclusion; u felt she is unworthy of u and i have a feeling tat u r selfish. one hand, u r afraid tat u cant guarantee the same kind of love from ur next gf, but at the same time, u r pinning for a better one though unactively.
be true to urself. opportunity dun comeby easily as wad u think.
y ask for opinion, in which i think u have the ans to ur qtion in ur heart??
am i right to say tat??
sorry if i sound offensive? peace. -
ohhhhhhhhhhOriginally posted by smudgey:Insightist, I don't think you really love her.
cos when you really love someone, even if she's no nichole kidman, you'll still love her... and remember you are no tom cruise yourself!
I admit, that my bf is not the most handsome man i've ever laid my eyes on. In fact, if he were not my bf, i'll tell you he's not my type!!!
BUT he is my bf, and I love him. I always tell him that he deserves someone with better patience, more gentle...etc. but at the end of the day he just wants me!
remember one thing, Insightist, Dream man and Dream Girls ONLY EXIST in DREAMS!
love your gf for who she is, not for what she looks like!!!
so sweet
now i realise there is still woman like this, i feel so mushy inside.
there is still hope for true love and romance.
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i've done my job as the one of the Mushy Gang!!!Originally posted by Space1999:ohhhhhhhhhh
so sweet
now i realise there is still woman like this, i feel so mushy inside.
there is still hope for true love and romance. 
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makes me want to reconsider my prespective on woman again
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wow did i do that?Originally posted by Space1999:makes me want to reconsider my prespective on woman again 
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I agree with you, but i also think that one shouldnt settle, it wouldn't be fair to the partner as well. And also very importantly, one shouldnt settle down until he/she is ready.Originally posted by Cool-gal:ya, at least tats wad i felt after reading.
hmm, TS, conclusion; u felt she is unworthy of u and i have a feeling tat u r selfish. one hand, u r afraid tat u cant guarantee the same kind of love from ur next gf, but at the same time, u r pinning for a better one though unactively.
be true to urself. opportunity dun comeby easily as wad u think.
y ask for opinion, in which i think u have the ans to ur qtion in ur heart??
am i right to say tat??
sorry if i sound offensive? peace. -
agreed!!!Originally posted by blu_sky:I agree with you, but i also think that one shouldnt settle, it wouldn't be fair to the partner as well. And also very importantly, one shouldnt settle down until he/she is ready. -
yes you did,Originally posted by smudgey:wow did i do that?
shall we meet for a drink tomorrow , lets say tennish?