What can i do???
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how would you know when you are ready?Originally posted by blu_sky:I agree with you, but i also think that one shouldnt settle, it wouldn't be fair to the partner as well. And also very importantly, one shouldnt settle down until he/she is ready.
how you feel? 
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If i know, i would've settled down.Originally posted by Space1999:how would you know when you are ready? how you feel? 
But one thing i realise, i can hardly get impressed these days. -
oh oh...... so long never come AA liaoOriginally posted by smudgey:i've done my job as the one of the Mushy Gang!!! 
but glad to see my smudgey mei mei still keeping the mushy feeling alive!!
threadstarter...... pls let your gf go........you dun love her enough from the way i see this.....
you remind me of someone i know ........ he has hurt the gal so badly that although he makes her wife eventually , he dun love her enough to give up the other "trees in the forest" ....... the rest is history........ to day...they are separated but the gal is still living in misery and struggling to move on...meanwhile carrying a burden full of hatred and betrayal from the marriage........ -
PINK JIE!!!!Originally posted by pinkygal76:oh oh...... so long never come AA liao
but glad to see my smudgey mei mei still keeping the mushy feeling alive!!
threadstarter...... pls let your gf go........you dun love her enough from the way i see this.....
you remind me of someone i know ........ he has hurt the gal so badly that although he makes her wife eventually , he dun love her enough to give up the other "trees in the forest" ....... the rest is history........ to day...they are separated but the gal is still living in misery and struggling to move on...meanwhile carrying a burden full of hatred and betrayal from the marriage........
hehehehe so so so long no see your nicky here liao!!!
Pink jie u give TS a little of your watermelon juice can liao la. prob solved!! -
ah! your true feelings is out, i know you are still waiting.Originally posted by blu_sky:If i know, i would've settled down.
But one thing i realise, i can hardly get impressed these days.
come , give me one chance. thats all i need
tennish tomorrow? -
agreed!Originally posted by pinkygal76:oh oh...... so long never come AA liao
but glad to see my smudgey mei mei still keeping the mushy feeling alive!!
threadstarter...... pls let your gf go........you dun love her enough from the way i see this.....
you remind me of someone i know ........ he has hurt the gal so badly that although he makes her wife eventually , he dun love her enough to give up the other "trees in the forest" ....... the rest is history........ to day...they are separated but the gal is still living in misery and struggling to move on...meanwhile carrying a burden full of hatred and betrayal from the marriage........
these are the guys who cant settle down or who are selfish. they think only themselves.
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Originally posted by Cool-gal:
totally agreed, we are always waiting for better ones to come along, thts why we never commit or settle down
agreed!
these are the guys who cant settle down or who are selfish. they think only themselves.
[/b]
but now after smudgey, im reconsidering -
[quote]Originally posted by Space1999:
totally agreed, we are always waiting for better ones to come along, thts why we never commit or settle down
but now after smudgey, im reconsidering [/quote]
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Originally posted by Insightist:Hi guys,
Just initiated a cool off with my gf. It has already been on my mind for a while already. I plucked up the courage to ask for it yesterday night. Reason being everytime after a quarrel, she would hasten me for a solution, and seeing her so upset and hurt, i usually give in by saying im ok already and make up with her. Yesterday, i just felt too tired. She's my longest gf to date. A looker she is not, average and a rather complicated history behind her. However she wins with her charm and caring personality. Just that i feel her love is sometimes too overwhelming. She will talk about seeing a future together when im going overseas next year for studies. She says she sees that im the one. All these pressure, i just dont know how to handle. I mean im serious and committed with her, but i dont like to make promises in the future when it does not happen.
We dated very very briefly before getting together. Maybe briefly wouldnt even come close. But we lasted a year plus. Endless quarrels and differences. But that aside, sometimes i just feel whether im limiting myself too much by not socialising. She on the other hand, has dated quite abit, thus she's been in a few long relationships to know what she wants. Me, i've only to say she's my longest relationship partly because she's more initiative. I've realised sometimes what one's insecurities can do in a relationship and make both suffer. She's been having a hard time at work, and i had to tell her that yesterday. It's really hard for me too. I just needed to breathe....space to breathe. Mostly when we're together, i feel i cant keep up with her. I cant keep up with her requests and many other things.
Last night when i was in bed, just felt so hurt. Hurt for her, and also i missed abit of the times we're together cos we've been seeing each other almost every other day for the past 1 year or so. Is it that i really liked her? Then why do i always think i deserve a better and more prettier and demure girl? She's waiting for an answer though she told me she dare not hope. Prayed to God, but i need an answer.
You want to explore new islands, but you don't want to lose sight of the shore.
Security vs risk.
You want security, your current relationship should be able to provide.
If you accept higher risk, you may find someone better, although it's also equally possible to end up with somebody worst.
You cannot have the best of both world, for if you attempted to, you will probably encounter misery. I won't say that you don't love her at all - I would say that after one year of dating, you realise that she may not be the one you are seeking (Gemini mutable traits surfacing le)
Cheers -
ALso, air and earth do not mix.Originally posted by blu_sky:Virgo are known to be perfectionist, and geminians have short attention span and flirtatious. im not surprised actually
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I wonder how many people are drinking with you tomorrow at tennish...?Originally posted by Space1999:ah! your true feelings is out, i know you are still waiting.
come , give me one chance. thats all i need
tennish tomorrow? -
HELLO! LONG TIME NO SEEOriginally posted by pinkygal76:oh oh...... so long never come AA liao
but glad to see my smudgey mei mei still keeping the mushy feeling alive!!
threadstarter...... pls let your gf go........you dun love her enough from the way i see this.....
you remind me of someone i know ........ he has hurt the gal so badly that although he makes her wife eventually , he dun love her enough to give up the other "trees in the forest" ....... the rest is history........ to day...they are separated but the gal is still living in misery and struggling to move on...meanwhile carrying a burden full of hatred and betrayal from the marriage........
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That's it? Simply because she can take the nonsense from you...?Originally posted by Insightist:Im gemini, she's virgo. Anyway, maybe it's because im selfish on my part? im just afraid what if i can never find another girl who can take all my nonsenses again. arghh.... -
You're just trying to be SWEET... Getting BORED? Probably TIRED....Originally posted by Insightist:Hi guys,
Just initiated a cool off with my gf. It has already been on my mind for a while already. I plucked up the courage to ask for it yesterday night. Reason being everytime after a quarrel, she would hasten me for a solution, and seeing her so upset and hurt, i usually give in by saying im ok already and make up with her. Yesterday, i just felt too tired. She's my longest gf to date. A looker she is not, average and a rather complicated history behind her. However she wins with her charm and caring personality. Just that i feel her love is sometimes too overwhelming. She will talk about seeing a future together when im going overseas next year for studies. She says she sees that im the one. All these pressure, i just dont know how to handle. I mean im serious and committed with her, but i dont like to make promises in the future when it does not happen.
We dated very very briefly before getting together. Maybe briefly wouldnt even come close. But we lasted a year plus. Endless quarrels and differences. But that aside, sometimes i just feel whether im limiting myself too much by not socialising. She on the other hand, has dated quite abit, thus she's been in a few long relationships to know what she wants. Me, i've only to say she's my longest relationship partly because she's more initiative. I've realised sometimes what one's insecurities can do in a relationship and make both suffer. She's been having a hard time at work, and i had to tell her that yesterday. It's really hard for me too. I just needed to breathe....space to breathe. Mostly when we're together, i feel i cant keep up with her. I cant keep up with her requests and many other things.
Last night when i was in bed, just felt so hurt. Hurt for her, and also i missed abit of the times we're together cos we've been seeing each other almost every other day for the past 1 year or so. Is it that i really liked her? Then why do i always think i deserve a better and more prettier and demure girl? She's waiting for an answer though she told me she dare not hope. Prayed to God, but i need an answer.
You're just not being much of YOU anymore....
Your gf do loves you ALOT now, doesn't she...? Can be one 'crazy' woman...? That's why she can 'tolerate' your nonsense.....?
SERIOUSLY... I find it sort of HARD and DIFFICULT to be convinced when ya said that you're 'serious' and especially 'commited' to her... So were ya actually thinking when ya said all that....? Or are you simply saying all that based on the time spent so closely with her.....? Making you believe that you're actually that....?
Don't mind me being a little 'straightforward' here... But just how did the both of ya 1st got together....? It seems to me that the reason or way which both of ya got 'binded' together does create some of the (important?) issues as to why you could be finding the road more and more difficult to march on....
To BEGIN with... I feel that you would NEED to strike off a BALANCE... Between your relationship and your life... Have somehow more control over it, and not let your gf run the show totally... Haven't you realised it yet...? She's like... Becoming more and more unlike your gf... Would be more like your mother if ya ask me...? And you're just like a small boy lost in the playground... So unlike you.....
You're missing her probably for the reason that is related to how both of ya got together in the 1st place... Your relationship has already shifted its platform.... While she might be getting fairly comfortable with the change (which is probably led by her), you're fast finding yourself on an alien's ground...
Some relationships are just GOOD the way it was... Think you're probably no where too near the stage to receive and embrace the next step into this relationship yet...? Think about it yourself... Like you've said, you've previously only had short-term relationships.... The 1st true 'commitment' case and you'll have too many questions stirring up your head from time to time...
By the way, how old are the both of ya? -
Let me tell you something: I think this girl is not good for long-term material if you are planning to get her as a wife. She is not independent and she keeps calling you every now and then. I mean, come on, where is her discipline? Tell her to take it slow. Don't come on to you like a tigress.Originally posted by Insightist:Hi guys,
Just initiated a cool off with my gf. It has already been on my mind for a while already. I plucked up the courage to ask for it yesterday night. Reason being everytime after a quarrel, she would hasten me for a solution, and seeing her so upset and hurt, i usually give in by saying im ok already and make up with her. Yesterday, i just felt too tired. She's my longest gf to date. A looker she is not, average and a rather complicated history behind her. However she wins with her charm and caring personality. Just that i feel her love is sometimes too overwhelming. She will talk about seeing a future together when im going overseas next year for studies. She says she sees that im the one. All these pressure, i just dont know how to handle. I mean im serious and committed with her, but i dont like to make promises in the future when it does not happen.
We dated very very briefly before getting together. Maybe briefly wouldnt even come close. But we lasted a year plus. Endless quarrels and differences. But that aside, sometimes i just feel whether im limiting myself too much by not socialising. She on the other hand, has dated quite abit, thus she's been in a few long relationships to know what she wants. Me, i've only to say she's my longest relationship partly because she's more initiative. I've realised sometimes what one's insecurities can do in a relationship and make both suffer. She's been having a hard time at work, and i had to tell her that yesterday. It's really hard for me too. I just needed to breathe....space to breathe. Mostly when we're together, i feel i cant keep up with her. I cant keep up with her requests and many other things.
Last night when i was in bed, just felt so hurt. Hurt for her, and also i missed abit of the times we're together cos we've been seeing each other almost every other day for the past 1 year or so. Is it that i really liked her? Then why do i always think i deserve a better and more prettier and demure girl? She's waiting for an answer though she told me she dare not hope. Prayed to God, but i need an answer.
Even though she has dated quite a bit, I don't think she is experienced enough. She couldn't control herself...not classy!
Can you imagine her calling you every hour especially when you are having a business meeting or doing your studies? Does she need so much love to validate her? Does she try to control you often also in the r/s? She is like the male version of the controller. Can you imagine getting married to her?
What you can do is tell her to take it slow and easy and let you breathe. If she doesn't, drop her.
doko -
Originally posted by smudgey:PINK JIE!!!!
hehehehe so so so long no see your nicky here liao!!!
Pink jie u give TS a little of your watermelon juice can liao la. prob solved!! si gui....must remind pp in AA of the watermelon legend again ha! -
*bat bat long long extended eye lashes*Originally posted by Devil1976:HELLO! LONG TIME NO SEE
Harlow.............*Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr* long time no see devil wor
still remember pinky .............not bad !
Me been busy busy....hardly logs in these days...but spotted my smudgey darling mei mei...
so pinky die die ...must take the risk of saying something to her.....even if it means risking being spotted by boss....me oso must make MY PRESENCE KNOWN! -
Well, if there is anyOriginally posted by Devil1976:I wonder how many people are drinking with you tomorrow at tennish...? -
wa.... so sweet....Originally posted by pinkygal76:*bat bat long long extended eye lashes*
Harlow.............*Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr* long time no see devil wor
still remember pinky .............not bad !
Me been busy busy....hardly logs in these days...but spotted my smudgey darling mei mei...
so pinky die die ...must take the risk of saying something to her.....even if it means risking being spotted by boss....me oso must make MY PRESENCE KNOWN!
hehheheh i must post more.... i'm pinky magnet!!!! -
U seem pretty sensible.... and should be okay.........
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Come on, let's be fair to his gf.
I would think that after so many relationships, she have in mind what she wants in a husband and more or less would want to settle down.
And on the contrary, she can be good wife material too.
'Insightist', I would say you are really fortunate, even blessed.
I would guess you guys have done all that a couple have went thru, and now you can say she's not pretty enough and all the crap?
Learn to appreciate her more, sometimes
So what's wrong here? All i can say is ,you are just not ready. You do not want to be tied down. You feel that you have not 'played' enough.
Your thinking & actions does not go in tandem with hers'. As such this this triggers her insecurities & the frequent quarrels. This is communication.
What's your stand? What are you in the relationship for? -
Thnxs for all the replies so far guys. Of all, i seem to relate to devil1976's reply best. I wont try to say i''m an angel. But to tell you, i have really really tried. It wasnt looks btw that attracted me to her. N for sure it's only looks that i go for. But just that over this course of time, alot of differences. The thought of breaking off has actually crossed my mind 6mths into the relationship. Each time, i told myself she's not yet settled down, maybe i shouldn be so selfish to think of my own feelings, and i should try to make the relationship work. But i feel i cant breathe any longer. At the same time now she's been msging me off and on during this cool off to make small chats. I just cant pluck up the courage to tell her no also because she's having a hard time at work. arghh!!!
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Thnxs for all the replies so far guys. Of all, i seem to relate to devil1976's reply best. I wont try to say i''m an angel. But to tell you, i have really really tried. It wasnt looks btw that attracted me to her. N for sure it's only looks that i go for. But just that over this course of time, alot of differences. The thought of breaking off has actually crossed my mind 6mths into the relationship. Each time, i told myself she's not yet settled down, maybe i shouldn be so selfish to think of my own feelings, and i should try to make the relationship work. But i feel i cant breathe any longer. At the same time now she's been msging me off and on during this cool off to make small chats. I just cant pluck up the courage to tell her no also because she's having a hard time at work. arghh!!!
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It's always this simple question of what do you really want. but when ur in the sticky situation, it becomes all so difficult and confusing. Its not i do not want to just break off, but i just feel if i were to break off, it's gonna be hard on her. Im vv tired myself. I'm not having a good time myself. All i ask is a listening ear. It can be easy to judge, but i cant possibly write every single detail of the relationship to all to justify my position or so. I dont need to. I just want to stop all these unhappiness. There she goes again...another msg.
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you feel that she is very sticky?Originally posted by Insightist:It's always this simple question of what do you really want. but when ur in the sticky situation, it becomes all so difficult and confusing. Its not i do not want to just break off, but i just feel if i were to break off, it's gonna be hard on her. Im vv tired myself. I'm not having a good time myself. All i ask is a listening ear. It can be easy to judge, but i cant possibly write every single detail of the relationship to all to justify my position or so. I dont need to. I just want to stop all these unhappiness. There she goes again...another msg.