My Wife lied to me..
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Hi, I' m new to this forum just new to seek some advise.
I'm married with 2 kids , my wife is a full time housewife
2 months ago so said she wanted to work part-times ,but after that she started to change.
One night, around 1am i saw her hp vibrate and i take a look.It was from a guy said he had reached home.I then reply back (pretending) when is the last time we meet and he said "we just meet last friday what??"
I erupted and woke my wife up and confronted her , she denied.Then i left home in the morning and start to sms her she is not trueful to me at all.
Then suddenly she said yes , she meet him just because of work and a short while only.She said he is only friend.
I sms the guy and ask him not to disturb my family or else...
Then every settled and we are back to normal.
Then last friday she said wanted to go spa and i agreed to take care of the kids.I called her at around 11 plus wondering why she's not home yet.
She never ans,I call her 20 over times worried about her .
Then the call was through, she never ans it , the phone was accidentally answered.I heard her toking with some guys laughting happliy over the phone,the back groung sounds like a kara ok place.I wait till 1plus then she came home. telling me the mrt reaches the interchange at 12 plus and have to wait for cab.
I told her everything but she denied again. She said i'm getting too sensative and dont trust her.What can i do.We quarrel and she leave home .Went to my in laws place.
2nd incident, yesterday i called up my in laws and she told me my wife went to work.Then my friend sms me that he saw her at boat quay... I double check with him again and he is very sure its my wife.
I confronted her but she denied again... bu lastly admitted (she sound like i 'm forcing her to admit one)
I think our relation is coming to and end..We should i do? -
Wow. Must be sad.
Before you do anything else, please think about your kids first.
From your point of view, it does seems like your wife is enjoying her freedom. And thus made you feel a little bit insecure.
But on another hand, maybe she is just being harmless. Like you know, hanging out with friends and such.
True she is not supposed to do all that as she is has a role of a mother still if not wife. This kind of cases normally I guess you have to really sit down and talk to her. Be careful in not incurring any wrath from both of you.
Maybe you would like to hire a PI? Sounds harsh, but I guess thats the only way to actually find out the truth what she is really doing outside. -
PI.
Dont divorce.
need give alimony and 50% of assets. -
Correct.Originally posted by missqi:PI.
Dont divorce.
need give alimony and 50% of assets.
If you can provide proof that your wife is having an affair, you can divorce her without giving her anything. -
sit down, reassure your love for her by doing something that touches her.get her to feel comfortable to talk to u 1st den ask her. talk is easy but doing it is hard. jia you! just remain cool talk things out nicely
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think of your kids first!
if your kids are young I guess it is ok to find a new partner..but that should be the last resort..very young kids like babies I think should be ok bah..cos they don't have any vivid memories I guess
if both of you have feelings towards each other..thrash it out
good luck -
I'm trying to control my emotion... maybe will take a few more days.
I went to starhub to check whether i can trace the incoming / out going calls .
Can they trace sms as while??
I hate to do this but bo pian. -
You can request for statements of all incoming and outgoing provided you are the subscriber.Originally posted by lostboy1978:I'm trying to control my emotion... maybe will take a few more days.
I went to starhub to check whether i can trace the incoming / out going calls .
Can they trace sms as while??
I hate to do this but bo pian.
I do not think sms is possible.
Yeap, from your post, it does seem the viable option for you to do things now. You need answers now. And PI, your checking of calls is the only way to do it.
Seriously, like someone said, you have to thrashed this things out in the open with her. This cannot prolong. Your kids will suffer. -
I guess faith and trust are lacking between the both of you. all you need is a good chat on whats happening. If all else fails get a counsellor. Remember, i takes 2 to make it work. Good luck.
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in my opinion, like that abit risky leh.will advise u to stop checking. its better to ask her face to face.marriage is abt trust n commitment.Originally posted by lostboy1978:I'm trying to control my emotion... maybe will take a few more days.
I went to starhub to check whether i can trace the incoming / out going calls .
Can they trace sms as while??
I hate to do this but bo pian. -
My kids is 3 n 2...
If everything went out well its ok.. but if cannot then we separate 1st then see how.
I got a feeling it wont last, But i feel ok to take take of the kids by myself.
Have another relationship again?? NO WAY MAN, where to find women willing to take care of children and do house work nowadays... -
hmmm I think it will be better to have a mother for your kids bahOriginally posted by lostboy1978:My kids is 3 n 2...
If everything went out well its ok.. but if cannot then we separate 1st then see how.
I got a feeling it wont last, But i feel ok to take take of the kids by myself.
Have another relationship again?? NO WAY MAN, where to find women willing to take care of children and do house work nowadays...
do everything but think for your kids first
I think it is possible to find such women bah..it is all about fate and feelings..maybe you will find the true one in your life -
Originally posted by lostboy1978:
dun dwell on the feeling.it'll make u feel even more hopeless.tink of how to make it last rather than whether it will last. remember your wedding vows
My kids is 3 n 2...
If everything went out well its ok.. but if cannot then we separate 1st then see how.
[b]I got a feeling it wont last, But i feel ok to take take of the kids by myself.
Have another relationship again?? NO WAY MAN, where to find women willing to take care of children and do house work nowadays...[/b]
quite true...yar but there might just be
cheer up! its when u get yourself up den u can make this work! -
agreed..Originally posted by bluewinged:dun dwell on the feeling.it'll make u feel even more hopeless.tink of how to make it last rather than whether it will last. remember your wedding vows
quite true...yar but there might just be
cheer up! its when u get yourself up den u can make this work! -
How to cheer up
.. women always said you only know work and give money only, 
But if i dont work how to support family?? Must be at home all the time acompany her ma??
Really dont understand women..i work so hard trying to give them a better life she though i got more freedom then her... -
relax..ok don't have to cheer up but pull yourself up..now is not the time for sadness or anything..now is the time to think for your future and work towards it ok?Originally posted by lostboy1978:How to cheer up .. women always said you only know work and give money only,
But if i dont work how to support family?? Must be at home all the time acompany her ma??
Really dont understand women..i work so hard trying to give them a better life she though i got more freedom then her...
yeap if I am a woman I would also say that to you..need some time at home to interact with your family mah..don't have to be always at home to accompany your wife or kids..there are times when the little actions in life mean a lot..don't necessarily mean have to spend a lot of time at home or give money to them
pardon me for my immatured views if you think so -
dun worry u're not alone haha.but guess wad women also dun understand wad men are tinking.my advise to u will be to celebrate some special occasions with her (eg. your anniversary, dating anniversary, any special days u both had...) or even nth at all just assure that u're love for her is still the same.let her know that u trust her with wad she's doing outside(n of cuz trust her) but at times she dun reply u, u get worried too. afterall u 2 are husband n wife, communication is very important for a relationship.Originally posted by lostboy1978:How to cheer up .. women always said you only know work and give money only,
But if i dont work how to support family?? Must be at home all the time acompany her ma??
Really dont understand women..i work so hard trying to give them a better life she though i got more freedom then her...
nv ever ever put your work 1st den your wife, if need be take leave one or 2 days will do n dedicate it to her.make her feel special.
being a guy is tough haha
btw, just being curious how long are u n your wife married already?
(sorry for the bad english) -
Don't push her to a corner till she really did something wrong, show care n love towards her. Maybe u both r still young.
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If she say sorry to me should i forgive her??
Or we need more time to think about it.
Cos some people said if a vase is once broken, there will still be crack lines even you stick the pieces together.. -
do u still love her?Originally posted by lostboy1978:If she say sorry to me should i forgive her??
Or we need more time to think about it.
Cos some people said if a vase is once broken, there will still be crack lines even you stick the pieces together..
be careful u dun break it. -
Wanna try family counselling?Originally posted by lostboy1978:Hi, I' m new to this forum just new to seek some advise.
I'm married with 2 kids , my wife is a full time housewife
2 months ago so said she wanted to work part-times ,but after that she started to change.
One night, around 1am i saw her hp vibrate and i take a look.It was from a guy said he had reached home.I then reply back (pretending) when is the last time we meet and he said "we just meet last friday what??"
I erupted and woke my wife up and confronted her , she denied.Then i left home in the morning and start to sms her she is not trueful to me at all.
Then suddenly she said yes , she meet him just because of work and a short while only.She said he is only friend.
I sms the guy and ask him not to disturb my family or else...
Then every settled and we are back to normal.
Then last friday she said wanted to go spa and i agreed to take care of the kids.I called her at around 11 plus wondering why she's not home yet.
She never ans,I call her 20 over times worried about her .
Then the call was through, she never ans it , the phone was accidentally answered.I heard her toking with some guys laughting happliy over the phone,the back groung sounds like a kara ok place.I wait till 1plus then she came home. telling me the mrt reaches the interchange at 12 plus and have to wait for cab.
I told her everything but she denied again. She said i'm getting too sensative and dont trust her.What can i do.We quarrel and she leave home .Went to my in laws place.
2nd incident, yesterday i called up my in laws and she told me my wife went to work.Then my friend sms me that he saw her at boat quay... I double check with him again and he is very sure its my wife.
I confronted her but she denied again... bu lastly admitted (she sound like i 'm forcing her to admit one)
I think our relation is coming to and end..We should i do? -
Where ??
Need both party?? -
thought is marriage counsellor? i think either of them are listed in the sticky in aunt agony forumOriginally posted by Devil1976:Wanna try family counselling? -
Its really not a good feeling for me now..
What ever i do i dont feel pain. I punch the wall and i dont feel any thing i broke the glass and i dont feel any thing even my fist bleed a little.
My heart hurts more than anything...
Life is so miserable.. -
hey dun lose hope.relli relli u gotta be strong n hold on.dun forget u can always talk to us here.dun take it out on yourselfOriginally posted by lostboy1978:Its really not a good feeling for me now..
What ever i do i dont feel pain. I punch the wall and i dont feel any thing i broke the glass and i dont feel any thing even my fist bleed a little.
My heart hurts more than anything...
Life is so miserable..