My Wife lied to me..
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What should i reply to her when so said
"you are very good, i'm not , so go and find a new one lor"
I told her why must you lied to me .I in bad mood also never ask friend go boat quay . -
say "u're good, thats why i married u in the 1st place.cuz i love u n i still do." er i not very good at all these something along that line will do arh.if she admits her wrong den let it be dun dwell on it already.like wad they say husband n wife argue n make up fast or something like that yar
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Anything else??
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ask her to stop working.
give her abit more freedom.
ask the kids to die die stick to her.
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er i dunno leh im not good at this kind of things one.hope wad i've said helps.anyway no matter wad u can always come here n im sure there'll be people who can help u.dun give up no matter how hopeless things looks there's always hope. if u dun give up there's always a chance, if u give up there's no chance at all.u've made the commitment, said the vow, the problem is are u willing to maintain this relationship. just do wad u can! all the best!
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try to act cool wif it, n love her more. if she dun feel guilty n appreciate ur forgiveness n kindness, so be it...
it's always wrong to be oversuspicious n possessive. -
How come you said the same thing as my in-laws??
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who??
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How come you said the same thing as my in-laws???Originally posted by missqi:ask her to stop working.
give her abit more freedom.
ask the kids to die die stick to her. 
seriously i call them up just now and she (my mother-in-law) told me the same thing..
Is it really the best way??
i think i got myself to blame also. -
This woman is fishy. 3 times in a row she displayed bad signs. Everything starts from the day you met her before she married you. Was she like that before? Did she lie to you before?Originally posted by lostboy1978:Hi, I' m new to this forum just new to seek some advise.
I'm married with 2 kids , my wife is a full time housewife
2 months ago so said she wanted to work part-times ,but after that she started to change.
One night, around 1am i saw her hp vibrate and i take a look.It was from a guy said he had reached home.I then reply back (pretending) when is the last time we meet and he said "we just meet last friday what??"
I erupted and woke my wife up and confronted her , she denied.Then i left home in the morning and start to sms her she is not trueful to me at all.
Then suddenly she said yes , she meet him just because of work and a short while only.She said he is only friend.
I sms the guy and ask him not to disturb my family or else...
Then every settled and we are back to normal.
Then last friday she said wanted to go spa and i agreed to take care of the kids.I called her at around 11 plus wondering why she's not home yet.
She never ans,I call her 20 over times worried about her .
Then the call was through, she never ans it , the phone was accidentally answered.I heard her toking with some guys laughting happliy over the phone,the back groung sounds like a kara ok place.I wait till 1plus then she came home. telling me the mrt reaches the interchange at 12 plus and have to wait for cab.
I told her everything but she denied again. She said i'm getting too sensative and dont trust her.What can i do.We quarrel and she leave home .Went to my in laws place.
2nd incident, yesterday i called up my in laws and she told me my wife went to work.Then my friend sms me that he saw her at boat quay... I double check with him again and he is very sure its my wife.
I confronted her but she denied again... bu lastly admitted (she sound like i 'm forcing her to admit one)
I think our relation is coming to and end..We should i do?
Stop accusing her of anything yet. That's a mistake. Keep it to yourself how many times she lied to you to have some track record for yourself.
Depending on you, I won't recommend divorcing if I were you because of the kids. But then again, living with a woman for 40 years in the future who lied to you is a NO-NO. How are you going to trust her in the future and place your kids in her care? She going to teach them to lie in the future?
doko -
I dunno, we broke off once before we ROM cos she seem bo chap with me and come home late at night.Once i saw her from the block she got 2 guys and 1 gal friend accompany her.Then i confronted her and after tat we broke off.
we patch back few months later and we decided to go ROM. Then few months later the same problem come back. She alway side her friend then me,Once she let this girl stay over our place .Cos she said her mother(that girl) dont want her to go home.
Wtf she only know her for a few day only.This girl sure got problem or else why parent not letting her go home.I told my wife abt it and she is not happy.
Then we quarrel again and i thought we broke off for good this time.
Few months later i was oversea working and kind of miss her so i sms her,
she told me she's got my baby alre .
I was suspiciously abt it in the beginning but in the end no problem cos baby look like me
I think i got problem myself also. Maybe sub consciously i am sick , wat can i do?? -
ya do this when u are calm everything can be settledOriginally posted by bluewinged:sit down, reassure your love for her by doing something that touches her.get her to feel comfortable to talk to u 1st den ask her. talk is easy but doing it is hard. jia you! just remain cool talk things out nicely -
Yes, I think you took her for granted and you should start dating her by being more romantic. Please note that this is not a quick fix. Everything needs time. But please start dating her once in a while.Originally posted by lostboy1978:How come you said the same thing as my in-laws???
seriously i call them up just now and she (my mother-in-law) told me the same thing..
Is it really the best way??
i think i got myself to blame also.
doko -
Now that's the problem. You two broke up before. The cracks were already there. And you still wanted to get married. So the problem carried over to the marriage. Let me tell you something: women remember everything you do even subconsciously. For your case before the marriage, you were also displayin signs of insecurities and the woman remembers this. Also, this woman is not good long-term marriage material because she is a very stubborn person and she tried to BS you.Originally posted by lostboy1978:I dunno, we broke off once before we ROM cos she seem bo chap with me and come home late at night.Once i saw her from the block she got 2 guys and 1 gal friend accompany her.Then i confronted her and after tat we broke off.
we patch back few months later and we decided to go ROM. Then few months later the same problem come back. She alway side her friend then me,Once she let this girl stay over our place .Cos she said her mother(that girl) dont want her to go home.
Wtf she only know her for a few day only.This girl sure got problem or else why parent not letting her go home.I told my wife abt it and she is not happy.
Then we quarrel again and i thought we broke off for good this time.
Few months later i was oversea working and kind of miss her so i sms her,
she told me she's got my baby alre .
I was suspiciously abt it in the beginning but in the end no problem cos baby look like me
I think i got problem myself also. Maybe sub consciously i am sick , wat can i do??
doko -
LOSTBOY be strong , although i am not a father or not having any kids i can uds how u r feeling right now , KIDS and , UR wife might have other guys , have u realli stand in ur wife shoe and think why she have to do all this ?
mayb now u spend 30mins thinking wat realli happen to u 2 during these 2 yrs together being husband and wife .
mayb u realli need to change ur lifestyle to suit her and let her feel she cant leave without u but u can nv take her from granted . Sit together as a family and talk heart to heart with her and tell her how u feel , tell her to let u finish ur word b4 she speak up and nv talk back to her during that period let her know u realli cherish her , but first u have to tell urself now can u accept ur wife now having another guy outside and she turn her way back to u . K take care . -
I think your wife is just like a kid who has got a "new toy" & thus just lost in indulgence. No matter how u talk 2 her, it will b hard 2 get into her skull. MAyb u shd seek advise from professionals with your wife. U can jus tell her u think it will b best 2 seek help not only for yourself, but for the kids and most importantly for her. She will listen if she is a human being. Whether it works out or not highly depends on how things turn out. In the case where S H I T happens, life still goes on. I m not goin 2 ask u 2 dwell abt your kids or stuff but life still goes on whether u r happy or not. So live 2 the fullest. Gd Luck!!!
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x2. but before that, treat her really well. Guilt is always a better weapon than anger.Originally posted by missqi:ask her to stop working.
give her abit more freedom.
ask the kids to die die stick to her. -
u got married becoz of the baby?
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Why not she treat him better? She is doing what's good for herself but not what is good for the family?Originally posted by blu_sky:x2. but before that, treat her really well. Guilt is always a better weapon than anger.
doko -
I'm just curious do you over-react when she talks to guys when you are dating. I mean if they are just friends it is ok and she could be hiding it from you because you over-react and she wants to keep peace.
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With your attitude, you shouldnt be advising others.Originally posted by dokono:Why not she treat him better? She is doing what's good for herself but not what is good for the family?
doko -
the thing is, is she having an affair or just hanging out with friends?
if its just hanging out with friends is it acceptable to you? i mean every one needs their personal space and you can't reasonably expect her to give up her friends right? -
Agree. But i do not fault TS entirely as lying is always wrong and bad. By lying, she has shaken one of the fundamentals of a relationship, trust.Originally posted by hisoka:the thing is, is she having an affair or just hanging out with friends?
if its just hanging out with friends is it acceptable to you? i mean every one needs their personal space and you can't reasonably expect her to give up her friends right? -
your story sounds like everything in very uncertain. would u hire a detective in this case? if you're so worried...
like elindra said, do u over react to certain things?before making a conclusion u should investigate thematter, dont go around texting and scolding other people like its their fault, u dont want to make your wife hate you right?
in the meantime stay cool and find out whats the REAL prob. dont assume too much, it will only make matters worst! -
No offense but why do you get so uptight over my message? You should not be focusing on me. You should be focusing on why. Point out what's wrong and don't let your emotions cloud your judgement by saying one liners. It's not helping his cause.Originally posted by blu_sky:With your attitude, you shouldnt be advising others.
Why is the woman doing all these things despite being married and having kids? Is she putting effort to make the relationship work on a consistent basis? Im not saying the guy is totally correct here as well. Both sides make mistakes. But I see the guy putting a lot of effort trying to support his family.
doko