My Wife lied to me..
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Do you trust her that she only when clubbing?
If yes, stop the case and have a nice chat.
If no, hmmm ... I will hire a PI.
Is tapping wife cellphone a crime?
(Doing it to the extreme(tapping phone, hiring PI) is so to ensure that she did not did/do unfaithful things behind my back. So if she really nv do, i can trust her in the future and not like leave a black hole.(like if you rest the case without fully trusting her, next time she went out till late night and told you she is at her gf's house. Do you trust her? I doubt so and fights will happen again and create more cracks.)
This is what i will do. -
Do you think i should check on her whether is her friends or her who is telling the true?
She admitted to me yesterday that she did go out with friends to clubbing.
But she assure me she did not have any guy outside or do wrong thing behind me , That guy T is just her long time friend.(now then she tell me T tag along with them in a group)
She said sorry to me and promise wun lie to me again.
But there are still alot of loopholes in this case.
Should i trust her this time?
This is the thing that is bothering me now, I hope that her friend is really trying to sabotage her then i no worries liao. -
you ought to have engaged a pi before confronting her, now that it's all in the open, she may behave herself to prove her innocence. anycase, sounds like you're quite possessive. maybe let her have some space to go out with friends but no clubbing...mother of 2 young kids have no business there....
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Now is i dont understand why is there a need for her friend to sabotage her. (It is not just a game or what wor ... it involve 2 kids and a marriage.)Originally posted by lostboy1978:Do you think i should check on her whether is her friends or her who is telling the true?
She admitted to me yesterday that she did go out with friends to clubbing.
But she assure me she did not have any guy outside or do wrong thing behind me , That guy T is just her long time friend.(now then she tell me T tag along with them in a group)
She said sorry to me and promise wun lie to me again.
But there are still alot of loopholes in this case.
Should i trust her this time?
This is the thing that is bothering me now, I hope that her friend is really trying to sabotage her then i no worries liao.
Ask the friend why are you telling me all this. And tell her that this is no small matter. it involve your kids. -
She told me she feel it was very wrong to cheat on husband especially the husband is treating her very nice..Then said tell me all else.
But i just found out she only 16....
somemore got 3 kids alre ...
But not married
malay girl that i heard from my wife she know her while working in the factory.
How to trust this type of person??
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Ya ... hard to trust ... then i think have a good chat with your wife ... remember remember ... dun get worked up. Jia you ... good luck ...Originally posted by lostboy1978:She told me she feel it was very wrong to cheat on husband especially the husband is treating her very nice..Then said tell me all else.
But i just found out she only 16....
somemore got 3 kids alre ... But not married
malay girl that i heard from my wife she know her while working in the factory.
How to trust this type of person?? -
Honestly, you dun even know the 'friend', but you are married to your wife whom you live with, who do you think you can trust? You've known your wife for so many years, based on your understanding of her, do you think you can trust her? I'm not askin you to trust blindly, but im sure you have built a certain degree of understanding through the years, no?Originally posted by lostboy1978:She told me she feel it was very wrong to cheat on husband especially the husband is treating her very nice..Then said tell me all else.
But i just found out she only 16....
somemore got 3 kids alre ... But not married
malay girl that i heard from my wife she know her while working in the factory.
How to trust this type of person??
Why not take the 'friend's' story as a signal, a sign to clear the air with your wife. Communicate with her, forge a better understanding of her and your relationship with her.
Since she is denying that she had an affair, she might not be ready to give up on the marriage yet. Talk nicely with her, see if you can work something out?
Always remember, hold your rashness. Anything rash you wanna say, DONT tell your wife. Come here, talk to us, before you even blurt it to your wife. For words said in a fit of anger, can be really hurting. And sometimes, once the harm is done, it is very difficult to be undone.
Take care okay? We are behind you. -
I know i have cool down alre
Will try my best cos i still love her very very much
Thanks you all very very much. -
So touching to hear thisOriginally posted by lostboy1978:Will try my best cos i still love her very very much 
Honestly, it is so hard to find someone you really love, it is even harder to marry the person whom you love. So treasure it, try to work things out, ok?
Any problem, remember us -
there's a possibility that the fren was lying.
how well do u know the fren, why would she be that concerned to tell u?
i think, no matter she cheated on u or not, juz ask urself whether u are willing to forgive and forget. -
if both of you wants to work things out,this is what i suggest:
1) Have a honest talk with each other.HONEST.
2) After the talk...be prepared to accept EVERYTHING (whether good or bad or things you don like or want to hear) what your wife had told you.similarly...tell your wife HONESTLY how you feel...
3) If she had done anything wrong to you (or you had done anything wrong to her ), make a decision to FORGIVE and FORGET.
4) Both of you have to reassure your love for each other and be committed to make your marriage work.
5) attend marriage conselling together.
lastly...its never easy..but both of you need each other's support.so learn how to encourage each other , be supportive of each other and..be committed in saving your marriage.
its all about COMMITMENT and COMMUNICATION -
by the way, marriages nowadays arent the same as our parents time.
Maybe you need to view the marriage and issues of trust from another perspective as a new age man. -
Listen bro: a lot of people will say forgive and forget. This doesn't work in a male-female relationship. Normally if you two are NOT married and with kids especially, I will ask you to dump her. No forgiving and taking her back, period. You need to know that your pride as a man has been broken. When you forgive, you are allowing her to disrespect you. And when she disrespects you, you think she will like you more? Nah~Originally posted by lostboy1978:Do you think i should check on her whether is her friends or her who is telling the true?
She admitted to me yesterday that she did go out with friends to clubbing.
But she assure me she did not have any guy outside or do wrong thing behind me , That guy T is just her long time friend.(now then she tell me T tag along with them in a group)
She said sorry to me and promise wun lie to me again.
But there are still alot of loopholes in this case.
Should i trust her this time?
This is the thing that is bothering me now, I hope that her friend is really trying to sabotage her then i no worries liao.
But since we are talking about a marriage with kids here, it will be a different game altogether. I will then have to advise you to stay as long as you want because of your children. They need a happy family.
See, the problem with this woman is: she wants to play. She lied to you. This is a BIG deal not to be overlooked. How is she going to be a good mother in the future? How is she going to teach them the proper values of not telling lies? She is not very committed in this marriage. She is causing you mental and emotional hurt. And she is outside enjoying herself? Come on! Where's her responsibility as a mother? Talk about commitment!
She is apologising for lying to you for going clubbing. But why is she not apologising for causing hurt to you? Why is she not asking you along to go clubbing? Aren't you her husband? Even if she is not having any affair? Why is she not apologising for not being responsible to the family? Why not for the happiness of the family? I question her attitude.
I don't want to get into reasons why she did this or that. We don't know if it's true or not. The fact is, she did it. Result: you were hurt. That's all that matters.
To be fair to her, start to bring her out and have fun and show more concern in her life. Spend some time listening to her. Women like guys who listen. She is your wife you know? Meaning you don't just come back home and pretend nothing happens. She is still your girlfriend. Marriage is not the end of everything you know?! Marriage is the start of many things! And please, don't get too possessive and uptight. Give her the benefit of the doubt and trust her(even though it's difficult I know because the trust is broken). Next time, suggest going clubbing with her. See if she prefers to go with Mr. Handsome T or you?
doko -
i think it's not right to put all the blame on her.
when a r/s goes wrong, both parties have to be responsible.
if both are truly happy and satisfied in a r/s, such things wun happen.
i dun see a need to lie up to this point.
and i dun think pointing fingers help. -
you should communicate with her. is there anything wrong between you? what is the problem? why is she doing this? its time for both of you to sit down and reflect. maybe you neglected her? many a time its becos of loneliness. work out the problems and solve together.
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All the best to youOriginally posted by lostboy1978:I know i have cool down alre
Will try my best cos i still love her very very much
Thanks you all very very much.
I'm sure she loves you too very much. -
whats the point of troubleshooting this issue? now the obvious thing is the wife has yet to settle down . still in teenager mood .
For me i dont let my girlfriend knows i`m going clubbing with the opposite sex.
if i`m the girl happen to go clubbing, probably i still can be wild like what i use to be , dancing with other man drinking with other man . wild wild wild . enjoy the feeling of being love and appreciated by other man.