Trouble with Parents...
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If not too badly injured, can run away and call for help?Originally posted by rainee:before i can call oledi got injured le..how
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There are laws on child abuse, but a child grows into an adult. Once you hit a certain age, the laws on child abuse no longer applies.Originally posted by ceecookie:btw i wonder if the law's fair to us childrens anot..since they allow disciplinary punishment by parents to naughty kids but not the other way round.
There was an article in the news that a man was jailed for "punishing" his parents..
Laws related to family violence will be more applicable then.
And there is a thin line between punishment and abuse. If the court is convinced that it is more of abuse than punishment... jail will be your next home. -
They will find out your address through Rin's parents. If they do so, it will be very embarrassing. It will be better to reach an agreement before marriage.Originally posted by rainee:dats wat i m scared of oso...next time must move far far away from them...
but tink once i m married at least i will have sumone beside me ba...
Since it will be years later, slowly talk with them.
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Let nature take its course. Don't need to try hard to make them understand something. They will get it as time passes by.Originally posted by rainee:Thanks
Yea, I dun take marriage lightly...have also discussed this with dear. he also agreed that now is not a good time to get married since I am not fully released from my bond yet and there is a chance I might get called to work sumwhere else by the govt.
I also dunno how to make them see the light...have been trying very hard for very long...but evtime I tried to talk to them nicely they will just flare up and lose their temper. And they refused to compromise or will either compromise and go back on their words a while later
Do what you think is right, and what you think is best for the situation. -
yea, then my boss just came back from work yesterday evening...told him that just count yesterday as my unpaid leave day, but he said it is alrite, not my fault, so just count it as my working day...Originally posted by ndmmxiaomayi:
One load off.
then my boss' gf oso came in to ask me if i m alrite or not...said if i wan to take another day off to settle things wif my parents then can take...but i said the matter solved oledi, for now... -
yea I think this will happen, that's why i hesitate to get dear involved. Cos my parents have his parents' number as well. I know they wun hesitate to call them if I run away from home...Originally posted by ndmmxiaomayi:They will find out your address through Rin's parents. If they do so, it will be very embarrassing. It will be better to reach an agreement before marriage.
Since it will be years later, slowly talk with them. -
Whether they feel embarassed or not is not really the issue. The point is that since rainee's parents like to embarass themselves, I don't see why Rainee should take the embarassment on herself instead...? It's not really something that totally disgraceful that she had done nor much of the extent of things she could do about their behaviors and attitude?Originally posted by NekoRin:I don't think they find it embarrassing -
This is emotional blackmailing. I won't much tolerate if anyone is to try this on me let alone my parents. Then again, I could be much very numb to things unlike yourself. Of course, I'm not expecting you to be like myself.Originally posted by rainee:I kept my passports and IC in very safe place de...but they shouted and forced me to give it to them...i brought it wif me to my workplace, but they threatened to go tell embarassing things to the students if I dun give them...so bo bian but have to give
But if even your own parents are to do such things to you at this point (as an adult), is there not even a least amount of respect to be employed? Exercise more authority and have a firm stand in your own rights and privacy even as a member of the family. Are they not afraid of retribution? Cause if they're my parents, they're probably getting it from me in the future even if not now... Often I'll try to make myself clear. Even if my words are not heard then, I'll make them understood a few years down the line. -
get married, so that u can move out~
rin, gambatte wor~~
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Fake them u going overseas and buy a house far away from them. Like for example they stay at jurong east.... then u can stay at bishaN!
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Wah liao eh......Rainee,
Your situation reminds me of my sister and my life girl. My parents used to be just like that overbearing and all, think just because they are your parents they are entitled to run your life.
Guess what happened, every cannot tahan his non-sense and just left home. My sister moved out I scooted off to S'pore to work. I used to be like you too very nice, father say what do lah.
Please do not mistake filial with fear. Being filial does not mean you have to fear him, if you need to move out, just do so. You need to be firm with yourself, your destiny is in your hand not theirs.
If they keep your passport and IC, just go to the police and report it as lost and apply for new one. Say snatched by thief.
Do whatever you need to do to free yourself, I saw how my parents ruined my sisters life. Not married because no guy ever good enough, cannot go for dates and now too late miss boat already. But she was strong enough to eventually take control of her own life.
So just move, out. Doesn't need to be nice, just pack up a few clothes and move out. Don't worry about how they feel, because they never cared about how you feel. You are just making sure they dont fuck around with you. You must teach them a lesson.
Please move out, or you will regret not doing so for the rest of your life. -
I will move out once my scholarship bond is terminated. So now is just wait until next year then see how. Hopefully by then I will be strong enough to tell them firmly that I have had enuff of them running my life and would like to have a control of mine from now on.Originally posted by bozo43:Wah liao eh......Rainee,
Your situation reminds me of my sister and my life girl. My parents used to be just like that overbearing and all, think just because they are your parents they are entitled to run your life.
Guess what happened, every cannot tahan his non-sense and just left home. My sister moved out I scooted off to S'pore to work. I used to be like you too very nice, father say what do lah.
Please do not mistake filial with fear. Being filial does not mean you have to fear him, if you need to move out, just do so. You need to be firm with yourself, your destiny is in your hand not theirs.
If they keep your passport and IC, just go to the police and report it as lost and apply for new one. Say snatched by thief.
Do whatever you need to do to free yourself, I saw how my parents ruined my sisters life. Not married because no guy ever good enough, cannot go for dates and now too late miss boat already. But she was strong enough to eventually take control of her own life.
So just move, out. Doesn't need to be nice, just pack up a few clothes and move out. Don't worry about how they feel, because they never cared about how you feel. You are just making sure they dont fuck around with you. You must teach them a lesson.
Please move out, or you will regret not doing so for the rest of your life.
My parents got suggested that I broke up wif my dear cos they think my dear has been encouraging me to move out and away from them, but I tell them that I will never leave him, wan me to leave means they all have to kill me first
Thanks everyone for your advice, suggestions and PMs. So touched that so many here are willing to help me in this problem, and sad to know that many are also victim of unreasonable and abusive parents 
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KP LA UR PARENTS.
U ASK THEM THEY GOT ANY RIGHT TO DONT LET YOU MOVE OUT MEH?
NEVER EVEN DO THEIR PARTS AS PARENTS. SHOUT AT THEM LA.. OR U SNATCH FROM THEM. SO GUO FEN LOR. DUN WAN FACE!!!!!!!!!! -
ah, ur welcome rainee
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How old are you? If old enough then move out. I find it unhelpful to care about old values like being fillial and all that. Do what you have to do to be happy - even if it means being called 'selfish'.Originally posted by rainee:Have been agonized about them for quite long already...you can say since I was very young until now (I am currently in my early twenties)
When I was young, maybe not many people know abt this but I was abused physically by caning, beating, etc. That time because I was weak and unable to retaliate, I just took in all those physical abuse without even saying a thing to other people...nothing I could do but cried and "ren". Then I thanked my lucky star when I got the offer to pursue my studies overseas...during those four years, I knew what was the meaning of freedom...
Now I am back and I have to stay with them again. It takes a bit of time to get adjusted to the lack of freedom. Now they no longer abuse me physically, but they still abuse me emotionally and mentally. Especially when they got angry (for example yesterday, they got angry about my driving skills when I was driving my new car) and came to shout and rant at me in my workplace. Can you imagine my embarassment?
Thing is they have all these mood swings...like today everything is back to normal. I can only wait with bated breath when is the next episode of such incident going to take place. Have been trying to figure out a solution for this since I was young and until now still cannot think of any. I have thought of running away but the moment they know I wanted to do that, they will confiscate my identity card, driving license, house keys, passports, etc. If I ask them nicely to let me move out, they will disagree.
Help anyone?
I would move out if I were you.
Or you could do a " Menendez ". -
hi rainee...
actually i feel that your parents really love you....you know..being asians...maybe they juz don know how to express their love for you...
like...when they took away your passport...i feel that its because they r afaird of you leaving them..