Trouble with Parents...
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Well now that you understand their kuan, you know what to do if and when it is time to go.Originally posted by rainee:I kept my passports and IC in very safe place de...but they shouted and forced me to give it to them...i brought it wif me to my workplace, but they threatened to go tell embarassing things to the students if I dun give them...so bo bian but have to give
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hmmz not sure if can in MY but you could have asked the clerk or yourself go and call police say pple making trouble at your workplace.Originally posted by rainee:I kept my passports and IC in very safe place de...but they shouted and forced me to give it to them...i brought it wif me to my workplace, but they threatened to go tell embarassing things to the students if I dun give them...so bo bian but have to give
can don't give them things de its whether you want to be hardhearted and "jue" or not -
heheOriginally posted by rainee:yea, i oso against the idea of getting married just because i wan to solve this problem wor...like this will be unfair for my dear oso...wan us to get married when we are both ready
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if at home i wun give. but then confirm will get beaten until very jia lat. might get injured oso cos my parents like to threaten wif erm..weaponsOriginally posted by hisoka:hmmz not sure if can in MY but you could have asked the clerk or yourself go and call police say pple making trouble at your workplace.
can don't give them things de its whether you want to be hardhearted and "jue" or not
but in school if they really go in and make noise inside the classroom, i wun have this job anymore. wich my dad said is fine, since it is an "embarassing job" anyway.
they dun understand this "embarassing job" has been keeping them alive and enable my family to have a car for these past few months le
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haiz, if next time they threaten dear with a weapon, it's better to call the police wor. It's child abuse and intimidation leOriginally posted by rainee:if at home i wun give. but then confirm will get beaten until very jia lat. might get injured oso cos my parents like to threaten wif erm..weapons
but in school if they really go in and make noise inside the classroom, i wun have this job anymore. wich my dad said is fine, since it is an "embarassing job" anyway.
they dun understand this "embarassing job" has been keeping them alive and enable my family to have a car for these past few months le -
thats my point she can do it de but the problem is can she bring herself to do it....Originally posted by NekoRin:haiz, if next time they threaten dear with a weapon, it's better to call the police wor. It's child abuse and intimidation le
but then of course as i said i tend to come up with rather drastic plans and solutions -
before i can call oledi got injured le..howOriginally posted by NekoRin:haiz, if next time they threaten dear with a weapon, it's better to call the police wor. It's child abuse and intimidation le -
I suggested that before... but dear she is very filial de wor. Hopes her parents will come to realise one day that they have a daughter that really cares alot about themOriginally posted by hisoka:thats my point she can do it de but the problem is can she bring herself to do it....
but then of course as i said i tend to come up with rather drastic plans and solutions -
Originally posted by rainee:before i can call oledi got injured le..how
then it's really drastic le, they will be jailed for causing hurt to others -
long pain might as well short painOriginally posted by rainee:before i can call oledi got injured le..how -
no la, i oso tot of doing dat before...when i was younger. but sumhow cudnt bring myself to do itOriginally posted by hisoka:thats my point she can do it de but the problem is can she bring herself to do it....
but then of course as i said i tend to come up with rather drastic plans and solutions -
btw i wonder if the law's fair to us childrens anot..since they allow disciplinary punishment by parents to naughty kids but not the other way round.
There was an article in the news that a man was jailed for "punishing" his parents.. -
actually how sure is she that they will stop once shes married..........Originally posted by NekoRin:I suggested that before... but dear she is very filial de wor. Hopes her parents will come to realise one day that they have a daughter that really cares alot about them
givent heir attitude i doubt it will stop there -
Originally posted by ceecookie:btw i wonder if the law's fair to us childrens anot..since they allow disciplinary punishment by parents to naughty kids but not the other way round.
There was an article in the news that a man was jailed for "punishing" his parents..
well if the parents hit the child when they are adults i doubt they can get away with it -
well there's laws on child abuse also. There sure are laws that is pertaining to family violenceOriginally posted by ceecookie:btw i wonder if the law's fair to us childrens anot..since they allow disciplinary punishment by parents to naughty kids but not the other way round.
There was an article in the news that a man was jailed for "punishing" his parents.. -
do u have any close relative that u can ask for help ?? is best for adult to speak to one another ...
if yr parent allow .. u can stay with yr relative .. i think they will feel safer than u move out alone -
dats wat i m scared of oso...next time must move far far away from them...Originally posted by hisoka:actually how sure is she that they will stop once shes married..........
givent heir attitude i doubt it will stop there
but tink once i m married at least i will have sumone beside me ba... -
well, if we both really get married. Confirm I will help protect her de worOriginally posted by hisoka:actually how sure is she that they will stop once shes married..........
givent heir attitude i doubt it will stop there
And that will be in SG, any threats made I will get the police, we can compromise with each other with the police as mediators
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Yes there is,but pity it bends toward forces used for disciplinary.Originally posted by NekoRin:well there's laws on child abuse also. There sure are laws that is pertaining to family violence
In other countries,It clashed fiercely with parents who wanted it(coporal punishment) to be banned. -
the problem is does she want to call police. its like now she can call if she want to but cannot bring herself to do it.Originally posted by NekoRin:well, if we both really get married. Confirm I will help protect her de wor
And that will be in SG, any threats made I will get the police, we can compromise with each other with the police as mediators
not sayign thats the best idea though -
Yeah but I hope (and I'm sure) you won't rush into marriage just to deal with your problems. Marriage is a sacred institution - it's not something to be taken lightly. Then again, I'm sure you already know that.Originally posted by rainee:dats wat i m scared of oso...next time must move far far away from them...
but tink once i m married at least i will have sumone beside me ba...
Honestly, all I can say is to deal with your problems in a rational manner and hope that things do get better eventually. I can see that you and the Nekodude are meant to be together, and I'm sure you would have a happy marriage.
But until then, I think the only thing you can really do is to talk things through with your parents and hope that they will eventually see the light. My own father used to scold me and emotionally shun me when I was young... he was ashamed of the fact that I was being bullied by the other kids, and he was ashamed that he had such a weakling for a son.
And he would constantly chide me and tell others that I was dumb and stupid... while he would just stay at home and laze in front of the TV for months at a time. He was clearly ashamed that I could never hold a candle to my more esteemed elder brother who made it to RI/RJC and went on to OCS... while his younger son couldn't be a Rafflesian and 'only' became a medic spec.
It stuck with me through my growing-up years and I grew up silent and withdrawn from others. But eventually I learnt that what my father did was wrong and that I had nothing to be ashamed of. My physically weakness wasn't the problem; it was the bullies taking advantage of it that was the problem.
I also recognised that while I may be relatively slower than my siblings, I work far harder than them. His calling me stupid wasn't the truth; it was pure hypocrisy, for at least I don't pass my time slacking in front of the TV. And yeah, I finance my study at NUS entirely from loans and from giving part-time tuition - I can safely say that I'm self-sufficient for the most part without his interference.
In the end he woke up his bloody ideas and started treating me better. I guess he finally saw the light.
What I can say is to remember that filial piety does not equate to blind obedience. If you know that what your parents are wrong, then just do whatever you know to be right. It's hard, yes, but in the end, your conscience remains intact.
Your parents, too, can see the light if they so wish to do so. You just gotta have faith.
Till then, take care. Cheers. -
ThanksOriginally posted by fudgester:Yeah but I hope (and I'm sure) you won't rush into marriage just to deal with your problems. Marriage is a sacred institution - it's not something to be taken lightly. Then again, I'm sure you already know that.
Honestly, all I can say is to deal with your problems in a rational manner and hope that things do get better eventually. I can see that you and the Nekodude are meant to be together, and I'm sure you would have a happy marriage.
But until then, I think the only thing you can really do is to talk things through with your parents and hope that they will eventually see the light. My own father used to scold me and emotionally shun me when I was young... he was ashamed of the fact that I was being bullied by the other kids, and he was ashamed that he had such a weakling for a son.
And he would constantly chide me and tell others that I was dumb and stupid... while he would just stay at home and laze in front of the TV for months at a time. He was clearly ashamed that I could never hold a candle to my more esteemed elder brother who made it to RI/RJC and went on to OCS... while his younger son couldn't be a Rafflesian and 'only' became a medic spec.
It stuck with me through my growing-up years and I grew up silent and withdrawn from others. But eventually I learnt that what my father did was wrong and that I had nothing to be ashamed of. My physically weakness wasn't the problem; it was the bullies taking advantage of it that was the problem.
I also recognised that while I may be relatively slower than my siblings, I work far harder than them. His calling me stupid wasn't the truth; it was pure hypocrisy, for at least I don't pass my time slacking in front of the TV. And yeah, I finance my study at NUS entirely from loans and from giving part-time tuition - I can safely say that I'm self-sufficient for the most part without his interference.
In the end he woke up his bloody ideas and started treating me better. I guess he finally saw the light.
What I can say is to remember that filial piety does not equate to blind obedience. If you know that what your parents are wrong, then just do whatever you know to be right. It's hard, yes, but in the end, your conscience remains intact.
Your parents, too, can see the light if they so wish to do so. You just gotta have faith.
Till then, take care. Cheers.
Yea, I dun take marriage lightly...have also discussed this with dear. he also agreed that now is not a good time to get married since I am not fully released from my bond yet and there is a chance I might get called to work sumwhere else by the govt.
I also dunno how to make them see the light...have been trying very hard for very long...but evtime I tried to talk to them nicely they will just flare up and lose their temper. And they refused to compromise or will either compromise and go back on their words a while later -
It's not about repayment, it's about conscience. It pretty much depends on the person's morals...Originally posted by SpeedStar:x2. Leaving doesn't mean u r not a good daughter. There is still many other ways to repay back ur parents. -
Originally posted by rainee:Job wise...tink still okie la...i already contacted my boss and his gf (who are like the second manager in my workplace) but luckily they understand...and one good thing was that both of them were away yesterday when this sh!t happened...
The clerk oso seems like okie...she was quite worried abt me, then today I came in for work she immediately asked if I am okie, then i apologized for the thing that happened yesterday because she was the one who had to clear up all the crap after I left suddenly (had to tell the students the class is cancelled, etc). She said it is okie, as long as i already settled evthing then it is good le. So touching to have such a nice colleague around
My students...most of them didnt see the episode, except 3 of them, the rest are not really my students (cos the first class I cancelled yesterday was one of the other teacher's classes, but I took over for him cos he is on leave)...my students were understanding as well, they said I just need to give them a replacement lesson on Saturday to make up for the lesson yesterday.
One load off. -
Haiz... looks like have to call in the police. Probably not to arrest, but to act as mediators. If in Singapore, at least got counsellors can help out. Wonder if Malaysia got the same thing.Originally posted by rainee:if at home i wun give. but then confirm will get beaten until very jia lat. might get injured oso cos my parents like to threaten wif erm..weapons
but in school if they really go in and make noise inside the classroom, i wun have this job anymore. wich my dad said is fine, since it is an "embarassing job" anyway.
they dun understand this "embarassing job" has been keeping them alive and enable my family to have a car for these past few months le