Rational mind, but irrational heart.
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I just broke up with my girlfriend, who we've been together for about 1.5 years.
Her reason for the breakup is because she has too much responsibilities. Because her family financial situation is not good, she needs to work, to help out in the family. She feels that she would have no time for a relationship.
However, she did say to use this separation to rethink about our relationship. We have a lot of differences; different interests, and stuff like that.
When I went to her house to pass her birthday gift to her (we broke up three days before her birthday), she seemed to be rather glad to see me. That's how I feel, at least.
But after prom tonight, perhaps she's tired, but she seems to detest my presence. I offered to wait with her while her brother comes, but she said, "nevermind". Maybe I shouldn't have persisted, but well, I did. She then said, "up to me", but she was rather cold.
I don't know what I should do. My mind tells me to move on, while my heart tells me to persist on. Maybe you all might call me foolish, or stupid, but I believe she is the one for me.
Any opinions?
P.S. and yes, I'm ONLY sixteen. -
k.
find a new gf.
or wallow in pain and sorrow all your life. -
My suggestion, try to remain as friends with her. She has her family problems to settle, so let her do so with a clear mind. The road is long and you guys are around the same age, I presume?
Give her some space.
But don't waste all your time just moping away.Girls don't like guys who do that. -
Hi, maybe you should give her some space and try not to pursue her so much these days. Remain as friends for now. Strictly friends.
You are still young and have a long way to maturity and in becoming responsible for your own life. So make use of this time in your youth to do something more meaningful and enriching. Relationships can wait till you are over 21. That's the age when you can think and rationalize better as a young adult.
Let her be what she wants herself to be. It's her life. And since (I presume) she's of the same age as you or younger, she too has lots to learn and a long way to go. And girls mature faster than guys. Her character will keep on changing during this period of her teenage years.
So I suggest that you take this break up strongly, courageously and move on. Don't ever look back. Learn to prioritize your goals and objective. A man should have an objective in life. What do you want to do? What do you want to achieve in future? Start thinking now and work towards it. Currently, you can only work towards your future goals through your studies.
All the best!
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Yes.Originally posted by binarynwitz:I just broke up with my girlfriend, who we've been together for about 1.5 years.
Her reason for the breakup is because she has too much responsibilities. Because her family financial situation is not good, she needs to work, to help out in the family. She feels that she would have no time for a relationship.
However, she did say to use this separation to rethink about our relationship. We have a lot of differences; different interests, and stuff like that.
When I went to her house to pass her birthday gift to her (we broke up three days before her birthday), she seemed to be rather glad to see me. That's how I feel, at least.
But after prom tonight, perhaps she's tired, but she seems to detest my presence. I offered to wait with her while her brother comes, but she said, "nevermind". Maybe I shouldn't have persisted, but well, I did. She then said, "up to me", but she was rather cold.
I don't know what I should do. My mind tells me to move on, while my heart tells me to persist on. Maybe you all might call me foolish, or stupid, but I believe she is the one for me.
Any opinions?
P.S. and yes, I'm ONLY sixteen.
She lost interest in you liao lor.
Of course she will not tell you that. She needed a convenient excuse.
Translated: Im too busy with my life but I don't love you so much that I will squeeze one hour for you. This happens when after the 'O' levels, when there is supposed to be a lot of time? Haha...
Of course your heart tells you to move on but your heart is always not helping you. Every time she smile at you, you assume got chance. Like that, every girl smile at me means got chance huh?
If you don't want to follow what your brain tells you, which is to be rational, then by all means, go ahead and beg her to patch up. Just be prepared to get hurt. You can believe all you can she is the ONE for you, even if you force her and her heart is not willing to be with you, you think there will be any mutual happiness? Nah~ The more important question is: Are you the ONE for her?
A lot of bad things must have happened before this breakup, right?
doko -
doko, you've hit the bullseye.
She's actually going to work soon, in his uncle's company. 9 to 6, I think. And then a part-time at her aunt's saloon during weekends.
I don't assume that each time she smiles at me, that means I have a chance. In fact, as of now, I don't think I have that much of a chance, but I still want to give it a try.
And actually, nothing has happened before the breakup. -
You may choose to give it a try. But don't try too many times. It'll hurt you more each time you try to patch things up.Originally posted by binarynwitz:doko, you've hit the bullseye.
She's actually going to work soon, in his uncle's company. 9 to 6, I think. And then a part-time at her aunt's saloon during weekends.
I don't assume that each time she smiles at me, that means I have a chance. In fact, as of now, I don't think I have that much of a chance, but I still want to give it a try.
And actually, nothing has happened before the breakup.
Move on and don't be in a relationship for a long period of time. You need to heal your broken heart. -
I will encourage you to try but don't expect much from this, just to get the experience from this breakup.
If nothing happened before the breakup, then why all of a sudden she just lost her feelings for you?
Maybe you did something wrong here and there. Anyway she will not tell you what you did la.
doko -
Assuming you are successful in patching back after a long time of begging, but inside she is still unhappy, will you still be happy?Originally posted by -[0]-:You may choose to give it a try. But don't try too many times. It'll hurt you more each time you try to patch things up.
Move on and don't be in a relationship for a long period of time. You need to heal your broken heart.
Then one day, you still might face the possibility that the relationship might break again.
These are things you need to consider. But go ahead first. Don't put pressure on yourself that you die die must patch back successfully.
doko -
She will not tell you what you did because girls don't reveal them.Originally posted by dokono:I will encourage you to try but don't expect much from this, just to get the experience from this breakup.
If nothing happened before the breakup, then why all of a sudden she just lost her feelings for you?
Maybe you did something wrong here and there. Anyway she will not tell you what you did la.
doko
I guess in order to find out the real reason behind the break up is to grow up first. Wait until you're more mature to tackle matters of the heart. Don't worry. If your thinking change, people around you will change. So not to worry if you cannot find a girl who suits you. -
He needs to stay in check with reality here. Real men don't beg to go back into the relationship. Either she wants to be with you or she don't. No force needed. Then move on.Originally posted by -[0]-:She will not tell you what you did because girls don't reveal them.
I guess in order to find out the real reason behind the break up is to grow up first. Wait until you're more mature to tackle matters of the heart. Don't worry. If your thinking change, people around you will change. So not to worry if you cannot find a girl who suits you.
doko -
Is the heart ever rational??
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Heart can never think. It can never feel. It only pumps the blood to the rest of the body.Originally posted by MooKu:Is the heart ever rational??
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Originally posted by -[0]-:Heart can never think. It can never feel. It only pumps the blood to the rest of the body.
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Don't put so much stress on your heart la.Originally posted by MooKu:Is the heart ever rational??
More people dying of heart attacks recently.
Use your blain, use ur blain.
doko -
First question I want to ask is, how's your financial situation.
Second, Do you love her?
Third, Are you willing to help her to pull through this financial difficulties period?
Forth, I want to tell you that Love is strong and everlasting when there are supports between each other. -
Good post. Let me elaborate.Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:First question I want to ask is, how's your financial situation.
Second, Do you love her?
Third, Are you willing to help her to pull through this financial difficulties period?
Forth, I want to tell you that Love is strong and everlasting when there are supports between each other.
TS.
I am not sure about this, but the girl, as you said, is facing some money issues. Thus, she might think that she could be of a burden to you. MIGHT. That is why she backed off in the relationship and leave you. Also, you said that she would be working alot during the holidays. Maybe since you 2 are in a school relationship, the amount of time spent together would be cut drastically. Maybe she is afraid that this would affect the relationship alot, and she rather to end it now then later.
Both of you are still young. And from your post, I am thinking that you are still a very rational and mature kid while your girl (ex) is pretty hardworking too. She would work so much just to help the family.
I am not sure if you love her. I hope you do and not cling on because you have grown too dependent on her. But then as time goes by, love is not the biggest component in a relationship. IMHO, effort, committment, support and love comes in a package.
I suggest what you can do now is to talk to her. Try to meet up to get a 1-1 talk. Reassure her that you would accompany her through this tough time and would even offer to help (if you can afford to). If she agrees to come back, good for you. If not, move on, just stay as friends, keep in contact to keep the chance.
But, DO NOT go overboard in helping her if she allows you to, like starving yourself to help her. Firstly, its not good for you. Secondly, she might think of herself as a burden to you and break off again.
And yes, love is strong if there is a strong support within the two of you. Stay strong my friend.
JMHO.
Cheers.
*PM me if you need someone to talk to ya? I might not offer good advices but at least you can type and vent on me. =) -
Well said!.Originally posted by angrynor:Good post. Let me elaborate.
TS.
I am not sure about this, but the girl, as you said, is facing some money issues. Thus, she might think that she could be of a burden to you. MIGHT. That is why she backed off in the relationship and leave you. Also, you said that she would be working alot during the holidays. Maybe since you 2 are in a school relationship, the amount of time spent together would be cut drastically. Maybe she is afraid that this would affect the relationship alot, and she rather to end it now then later.
Both of you are still young. And from your post, I am thinking that you are still a very rational and mature kid while your girl (ex) is pretty hardworking too. She would work so much just to help the family.
I am not sure if you love her. I hope you do and not cling on because you have grown too dependent on her. But then as time goes by, love is not the biggest component in a relationship. IMHO, effort, committment, support and love comes in a package.
I suggest what you can do now is to talk to her. Try to meet up to get a 1-1 talk. Reassure her that you would accompany her through this tough time and would even offer to help (if you can afford to). If she agrees to come back, good for you. If not, move on, just stay as friends, keep in contact to keep the chance.
But, DO NOT go overboard in helping her if she allows you to, like starving yourself to help her. Firstly, its not good for you. Secondly, she might think of herself as a burden to you and break off again.
And yes, love is strong if there is a strong support within the two of you. Stay strong my friend.
JMHO.
Cheers.
*PM me if you need someone to talk to ya? I might not offer good advices but at least you can type and vent on me. =) -
Thanks for the offer, I would keep it in mind if I ever need someone to talk to.Originally posted by angrynor:Good post. Let me elaborate.
TS.
I am not sure about this, but the girl, as you said, is facing some money issues. Thus, she might think that she could be of a burden to you. MIGHT. That is why she backed off in the relationship and leave you. Also, you said that she would be working alot during the holidays. Maybe since you 2 are in a school relationship, the amount of time spent together would be cut drastically. Maybe she is afraid that this would affect the relationship alot, and she rather to end it now then later.
Both of you are still young. And from your post, I am thinking that you are still a very rational and mature kid while your girl (ex) is pretty hardworking too. She would work so much just to help the family.
I am not sure if you love her. I hope you do and not cling on because you have grown too dependent on her. But then as time goes by, love is not the biggest component in a relationship. IMHO, effort, committment, support and love comes in a package.
I suggest what you can do now is to talk to her. Try to meet up to get a 1-1 talk. Reassure her that you would accompany her through this tough time and would even offer to help (if you can afford to). If she agrees to come back, good for you. If not, move on, just stay as friends, keep in contact to keep the chance.
But, DO NOT go overboard in helping her if she allows you to, like starving yourself to help her. Firstly, its not good for you. Secondly, she might think of herself as a burden to you and break off again.
And yes, love is strong if there is a strong support within the two of you. Stay strong my friend.
JMHO.
Cheers.
*PM me if you need someone to talk to ya? I might not offer good advices but at least you can type and vent on me. =)
Indeed, I'm asking her out for a 1-1 talk, just to clear up things. If her stand still doesn't change, I'll try my best to give up.
Something like the final showdown. -
hmm..
this topic leads me to a very interesting thought.
what happens then if the gf is facing a very extreme family situation? for example, her parents are going for divorce, or her father is debt-ridden and a bankrupt, and she as the eldest child is inevitably pressured and burdened.
what then, should the bf do?
to what extent of help then can be deemed enough? -
Haha, thanks bro.Originally posted by LazerLordz:Well said!.
To TS, glad that you can talk to her. Keep us updated.
No matter what happens, keep the good people here updated and we will try to see what we can do to help if we need to.
Cheers. -
I kinda understand your feeling... just try your best... if really cannot then let it go... keep your options open
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if she still likes you, she'll come back to you (:
just try to move on for the time being? and don't be too sticky.
the more you try to please her and do things for her,she'll be more stuck up.
so,maybe it's also time to give each other a break?
give yourself some time to sort out your thinking la.i know you're rather sad too luh.but what to do right?excuses,excuses are always given during break-ups.Perhaps,she's not very sure about her decision too.Give yourself some break too,it's no use pushing. -
carry on wif life
u are still young
im oso 16 -
frankly just find someone else if you really need a girl...
but i would say study more important the babe at your age don't want to live to regret like me...