I'm so traumatised...
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then no point,Originally posted by blu_sky:i definitely think she will NOT appreciate me for telling the truth and bursting her bubble, destroying her delusion.
just walk away from the car crash..its definitely crashing whether you like it or not...
you have other friends to fill the void
and you always have me hehe to irritate you if you want
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some bubbles must be burst.Originally posted by blu_sky:i definitely think she will NOT appreciate me for telling the truth and bursting her bubble, destroying her delusion. -
hehe... *sniggerOriginally posted by Space1999:then no point,
just walk away from the car crash..its definitely crashing whether you like it or not...
you have other friends to fill the void
and you always have me hehe to irritate you if you want -
true, and you still have yet to tell your bf the whole truth...sigh ..big headache!tell me if he whacks him!Originally posted by Ito_^:some bubbles must be burst. -
You are a married woman right? as a married woman, would you prefer delusion destroyed, bubble burst and truth be told, and lose a friend? or continue to stay in delusion and quietly lose a friend without knowing why?Originally posted by mistyblue:BTW, were you sleeping and suddenly wake up at 3am or had you been awake all this time to 3 am?
you are not the judge. You are the victim presenting your case.
You need to somehow get over the case and close off this chapter which also include determine your future interaction, action with this couple.
As with all things, friendships, no matter how good, might one day come to an end. Its not your loss for losing friends like them. Its their own loss that their actions betrayed your trust and put you at risk.
BTW, sex crimes are usually done by people known to the women. Do not take this lightly. -
cannot whack la. scold can la.. whack cannot la.Originally posted by Space1999:true, and you still have yet to tell your bf the whole truth...sigh ..big headache!tell me if he whacks him! -
so now that you have decided to tell, just do it and wait and see.
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scold and whack can ah?or kick his balls?Originally posted by Ito_^:cannot whack la. scold can la.. whack cannot la. -
Not decided.... still considering...Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:so now that you have decided to tell, just do it and wait and see. -
he cant whack him unless i give the green light, cos he does not have his contacts.... unless he engage a PI...Originally posted by Space1999:true, and you still have yet to tell your bf the whole truth...sigh ..big headache!tell me if he whacks him! -
cos just now earlier post you already said you think he's unredeemable.Originally posted by blu_sky:how can i be the judge to decide if he is unredeemable? -
Actually .. its either
1. Tell
2. Don't Tell
From your earlier discussions, the implications of Don't Tell is worse than Tell.
So.. -
dont tell and secretly whack! how about that?Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:Actually .. its either
1. Tell
2. Don't Tell
From your earlier discussions, the implications of Don't Tell is worse than Tell.
So.. -
i dont understand, they are your closest friend, and your bf dont know them?Originally posted by blu_sky:he cant whack him unless i give the green light, cos he does not have his contacts.... unless he engage a PI...
is it your secret closest friend? -
with that sentence, i mean i cant be the judge. i cant decide if he is unredeemable. But i can decide that i want to cut him off my life.Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:cos just now earlier post you already said you think he's unredeemable. -
not secret, my bf knows about them, but has yet to meet them. my relationship with my bf is new, juz 2 mths...Originally posted by Space1999:i dont understand, they are your closest friend, and your bf dont know them?
is it your secret closest friend? -
Guess no need to meet already lor...Originally posted by blu_sky:not secret, my bf knows about them, but has yet to meet them. my relationship with my bf is new, juz 2 mths... -
guess he will never get to meet them now ha!unless he whacks him!Originally posted by blu_sky:not secret, my bf knows about them, but has yet to meet them. my relationship with my bf is new, juz 2 mths... -
every marriage is different. I cannot tell how things will pan out for your friend. Nor am I a good example to follow by as I do not take affairs outside of marriage, paid sex and such things lightly. But its always between the couple and if things fall apart, you are still the victim. Although you might be dragged through mud as one of the possible cause of the breakdown. However, as its been said, if there is no rotting seed, there would not be a poison tree. My take is, once you close your case, avoid at all cost - you do not need any more sh!t coming your way. People always lay blame, its better you see no evil, hear no evil, say no evil. At least, after this episode, you can stay neutral and protect yourself.Originally posted by blu_sky:You are a married woman right? as a married woman, would you prefer delusion destroyed, bubble burst and truth me told, and lose a friend? or continue to stay in delusion and quietly lose a friend without knowing why?
How I will react if my friend tells me this. Cannot really tell if the friendship might keep or end. However, it is very hard to swallow if my husband ever engage in such acts and I would feel shame and truly angry at him. I might also wonder why and if I had played any part if he wish to insult my friend's modesty. I might even think he's a perv and might even report him to the police myself because as a woman, I think when your husband does things, you will notice. If you choose to be blind, then when he does great wrongs because he knows he can get away with it, then its the woman's fault. Women always have that intuition but women are also foolish. Some are so foolish they choose to ignore the signs and live in fantasy. (my view for such women - let them be. No point telling them because they will play victim and you will be label the witch.) I might be angry at my friend but when I cool down, I would appreciate the honesty. However, it does not apply to other people or your friend. To tell or not to tell is up to you. If you feel obligated, then hint your friend and let it be that you had done your best. Don't be hard on yourself for not trying harder to save her. If she does not wish to be saved, there's nothing you can do. Sometimes (personal view) people need to experience hard knocks and such kinds of sh!t to grow up.
I take it that people come and people go. I weed out people who claim themselves as my friend but turn around and use me at every possible opportunity for whatever they wish to gain from me. I feel I have enough problems on my own much less carry other people's. Besides, even the best friendships end. To me, for every ending, there is a new beginning. There are other people who also can be your good friend. Another personal opinion, as we grow older the concept of 'best friend' seems to fade, the idea of 'best' does not seem to exist for me.
Life's tough... -
don't over think. Just think about how you need to get over this and what you need to do. Be selfish.
the how part, you can figure out later. -
*nod...Originally posted by mistyblue:don't over think. Just think about how you need to get over this and what you need to do. Be selfish.
the how part, you can figure out later.
Thank you...
think im over-thinking, thats why my head has been aching for more than 48 hours... -
exactly... worry this worry that not productive.. all is conjectureOriginally posted by mistyblue:don't over think.
so u wont know what happen until u do it. -
I dun want to anyhow make a move juz to close the chapter but regret my actions later.Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:exactly... worry this worry that not productive.. all is conjecture
so u wont know what happen until u do it.
I'll take it easy.... -
regret is part and parcel of life.
There is no one in this world who do not regret. -
but only 2 moves what... the rest is 'predicting' what MIGHT happen... -frown-Originally posted by blu_sky:I dun want to anyhow make a move juz to close the chapter but regret my actions later.
I'll take it easy....
and it seems that u really do want to tell ur friend, and its only the consequences thats muddling you. but like i said, you really dont know what WILL happen anyway.