I'm so traumatised...
-
now got 2 possibilities.
A: the man hasn't tell the wife anything (maybe hoping u too scared to tell anyone or decided to let the matter rest).
B: your friend is in cahoots with the husband.
because if her husband tell her you seduce him, why she never call you to ask or confront?
and how come the wife no call/sms you when she find you missing when she woke up
you usually just leave their house when you wake up? -
i've never left in the middle of the night, this is the first time. The husband prolly told her he saw me leaving or something lidat.Originally posted by QQbear:now got 2 possibilities.
A: the man hasn't tell the wife anything (maybe hoping u too scared to tell anyone or decided to let the matter rest).
B: your friend is in cahoots with the husband.
because if her husband tell her you seduce him, why she never call you to ask or confront?
and how come the wife no call/sms you when she find you missing when she woke up you usually just leave their house when you wake up?
No one will believe that i seduce him. well, if you actually know him and me personally, you will believe me when i say this. My GA said that my best friend will burst out laughing and think that it is a absurd joke if she hears that! -
I've never said i want to make a police report. It had never been in my agenda. I was not hurt, other than the trauma, anyway. Neither am i for the idea on the use of violence. But i think my bf deserves to know the truth.
Okay, going forward, what should i do?
Have decided, there is no use in talking to the husband, unless im ready to accept some excuses or counter-accuations. Which i have no time for, and i am not interested.
The question now is, should i tell my best friend?
i should not tell her because,
* it is not good for her marriage. It really hadnt been a easy road for her to find this someone who loves her, willing take care of her for the rest of her life. Will this break her marriage? Will this scar her marriage? I do not want to be the one who is responsible for wrecking it.
Lastly, if i do not tell my friend, the husband can actually have a chance to rethink his action, and mend his way.
I should tell her because,
* she is my best friend. i owe her the loyalty to tell her the truth. she deserves to know the truth, and from thereon, decides what is best for her. She could choose to be deluded, but at least, she is given a chance to make that decision.
Lastly, on a positive note, if i tell her and she chooses to take it positively, they can seize this opportunity to understand the problems in the marriage and work it out.
Good vs Right?
Love for her to have a good life vs Loyal to her?
Now it is time to weigh which should i pick. -
do you really think the husband will mend his ways,
being that
1. he most probably have planned this for quite some time, and all the time you was there , he was lusting after you in his mind.isnt that thought disgusting?
2. it takes a lots of guts to do what he did ( i mean preverted guts) do you think this is his first time?
most probably what he did was acting out his fantasy all the while too
he wont mend his way trust me, he will change his modus operandi and maybe get even better in the future. he is already gone to the dark side
most probably after this he thinks i can get away with this , i can get away with even more! after all this is her best friend!
his guts will get even bigger..trust me
in a way your silence shows him that woman can be that easily abused..in a way -
have the wife call you since then?is it normal that she dont call you?Originally posted by blu_sky:i've never left in the middle of the night, this is the first time. The husband prolly told her he saw me leaving or something lidat.
No one will believe that i seduce him. well, if you actually know him and me personally, you will believe me when i say this. My GA said that my best friend burst out laughing and think that it is a absurd joke if she hears that!
if its not then its a bit strange -
Yes, that is really disgusting. in fact, surprisingly, i have more disgust about this matter than anger.Originally posted by Space1999:do you really think the husband will mend his ways,
being that
1. he most probably have planned this for quite some time, and all the time you was there , he was lusting after you in his mind.isnt that thought disgusting?
2. it takes a lots of guts to do what he did ( i mean preverted guts) do you think this is his first time?
most probably what he did was acting out his fantasy all the while too
he wont mend his way trust me, he will change his modus operandi and maybe get even better in the future. he is already gone to the dark side
most probably after this he thinks i can get away with this , i can get away with even more! after all this is her best friend!
his guts will get even bigger..trust me
in a way your silence shows him that woman can be that easily abused..in a way
I do think that he will not mend his way. My belief is, man will not mend his way unless there is a lesson learned. And like you say, he will get even bolder.
But my GA said, by telling on him, it could scar their marriage if not destroy it. It was not easy for my best friend to find someone already, do i really want to have anything to do with destroying it? -
Only forwarded emails. It is normal, we dun talk everyday. When bz, we may not talk for up to a week too.Originally posted by Space1999:have the wife call you since then?is it normal that she dont call you?
if its not then its a bit strange -
like i say, its like watching a roadcrash in slow motion, there is nothing you can really do with a character like that, from your posting i can assume that the wife is not really that cute or hot, and he has lustings for cute girls.Originally posted by blu_sky:Yes, that is really disgusting. in fact, surprisingly, i have more disgust about this matter than anger.
I do think that he will not mend his way. My belief is, man will not mend his way unless there is a lesson learned. And like you say, he will get even bolder.
But my GA said, by telling on him, it could scar their marriage if not destroy it. It was not easy for my best friend to find someone already, do i really want to have anything to do with destroying it?
its like an addiction, like any others, if he has plan this that means he has gone beyond normal pervert. he acted on his preversity.
and that is scary
all man have their sexual fantasies even your gay bf , right or wrong but what differentiate us from criminals is fantasy stays a fantasy
but this fatty actually acted on it , that means his mind is preoccupied, is his wife look at his pc , there is most probably hidden files, or secret emails etc.
in a summary- no hope already
you can choose to watch the car crash or you can turn away.
word of advise, when you tell your bf, make sure you can control him bcos when my case happened before she can finish i was off looking for that guy and my rage was uncontrollable.
trust me gay or not, if he loves you , he will be THAT angry .maybe you should sit him down ply him with some drinks first -
All along, i would never have been surprised if he really does pay for sex outside. But to do this at home, right under his wife's nose, in their matrimonial home and when his father is sleeping next door, is plain audacity.Originally posted by Space1999:like i say, its like watching a roadcrash in slow motion, there is nothing you can really do with a character like that, from your posting i can assume that the wife is not really that cute or hot, and he has lustings for cute girls.
its like an addiction, like any others, if he has plan this that means he has gone beyond normal pervert. he acted on his preversity.
and that is scary
all man have their sexual fantasies even your gay bf , right or wrong but what differentiate us from criminals is fantasy stays a fantasy
but this fatty actually acted on it , that means his mind is preoccupied, is his wife look at his pc , there is most probably hidden files, or secret emails etc.
in a summary- no hope already
you can choose to watch the car crash or you can turn away.
word of advise, when you tell your bf, make sure you can control him bcos when my case happened before she can finish i was off looking for that guy and my rage was uncontrollable.
trust me gay or not, if he loves you , he will be THAT angry .maybe you should sit him down ply him with some drinks first
Honestly, i was never a person who can be trifled with. I am never a pushover or doormat. I may look sweet, docile and fun loving, but i get fiery too when im shown disrespect or rubbish. This, he knows. And what he has done is really what one would not even have imagined in his wildest dream. -
he is preversely sick, just be thankful you have a choice not to be in contact with him
his wife are stuck with him , god knows what sexual disease he is going to bring back -
i will definitely cut him off my life. now it is my friend whom i'm concerned with....Originally posted by Space1999:he is preversely sick, just be thankful you have a choice not to be in contact with him
his wife are stuck with him , god knows what sexual disease he is going to bring back -
If you feel he is unredeemable, then regardless of how difficult it is for her to get married, she deserves better.
And I guess if the price is at your friendship for her to see his true colours, then for love's sake, its worth it. -
how can i be the judge to decide if he is unredeemable?Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:If you feel he is unredeemable, then regardless of how difficult it is for her to get married, she deserves better.
And I guess if the price is at your friendship for her to see his true colours, then for love's sake, its worth it. -
you have already answered your questionOriginally posted by blu_sky:i will definitely cut him off my life. now it is my friend whom i'm concerned with.... -
meaning?Originally posted by molgax:you have already answered your question -
You don't have to judge. The judgement lies with the wife.
You just have to present the bare nekkid truth to her. She can decide whatever she wants to.Originally posted by blu_sky:how can i be the judge to decide if he is unredeemable? -
BTW, were you sleeping and suddenly wake up at 3am or had you been awake all this time to 3 am?Originally posted by blu_sky:how can i be the judge to decide on whether he is unredeemable?
you are not the judge. You are the victim presenting your case.
You need to somehow get over the case and close off this chapter which also include determine your future interaction, action with this couple.
As with all things, friendships, no matter how good, might one day come to an end. Its not your loss for losing friends like them. Its their own loss that their actions betrayed your trust and put you at risk.
BTW, sex crimes are usually done by people known to the women. Do not take this lightly. -
hehe exactlyOriginally posted by choco B:You don't have to judge. The judgement lies with the wife.
You just have to present the bare nekkid truth to her. She can decide whatever she wants to.
the bare naked truth!!ugly it may be -
And i will choose to do that because, i will be:Originally posted by choco B:You don't have to judge. The judgement lies with the wife.
You just have to present the bare nekkid truth to her. She can decide whatever she wants to.
1)choosing my loyalty for her over what i think might be good for her marriage?
2)throwing the ball back into the couple's court?
3)giving up my friendship hoping that she will see the truth and decides what would be good for her life?
and
4)taking the risk that their marriage may not hold? -
i was sleeping already. but im a very light sleeper, i woke up the moment the door knob was turned.Originally posted by mistyblue:BTW, were you sleeping and suddenly wake up at 3am or had you been awake all this time to 3 am?
you are not the judge. You are the victim presenting your case.
You need to somehow get over the case and close off this chapter which also include determine your future interaction, action with this couple.
As with all things, friendships, no matter how good, might one day come to an end. Its not your loss for losing friends like them. Its their own loss that their actions betrayed your trust and put you at risk.
BTW, sex crimes are usually done by people known to the women. Do not take this lightly. -
Yes, i need to close the chapter. im so tired... weary.... headache...Originally posted by mistyblue:BTW, were you sleeping and suddenly wake up at 3am or had you been awake all this time to 3 am?
you are not the judge. You are the victim presenting your case.
You need to somehow get over the case and close off this chapter which also include determine your future interaction, action with this couple.
As with all things, friendships, no matter how good, might one day come to an end. Its not your loss for losing friends like them. Its their own loss that their actions betrayed your trust and put you at risk.
BTW, sex crimes are usually done by people known to the women. Do not take this lightly. -
Eh? ... I don't get what the dilemma is actually
You don't like this girlfriend in the first place. She's the one who always makes disparaging remarks and act snotty etcetc right? So, lose her. No big loss wad.
Their marriage is their responsibility, you didn't create the problem, let them sort it out. Tell her the truth, ignorance is not bliss in this case.Originally posted by blu_sky:And i will choose to do that because, i will be:
1)choosing my loyalty for her over what i think might be good for her marriage?
2)throwing the ball back into the couple's court?
3)giving up my friendship hoping that she will see the truth and decides what would be good for her life?
and
4)taking the risk that their marriage may not hold? -
either way , the friendship gone, she might not even appreciate you for telling the truth or bursting her bubble and destroying her illusion
she might even choose to believe her husband
but whatever your action is, pls dont forgive and forget..this is not something you can laugh about or brush it off as a misadventure on his side.
dont take it lightly. its after all , a sex crime -
Well, some correction to make. It is not right to say that i dont like her. At times, she does do things that irks me. As with any other relationship or friendship, no one is perfect. But a few days later, i would be fine and things are back to normal. Again as with other relationships. And i also believe that she does put up with me in some other ways. No one is perfect.Originally posted by choco B:Eh? ... I don't get what the dilemma is actually
You don't like this girlfriend in the first place. She's the one who always makes disparaging remarks and act snotty etcetc right? So, lose her. No big loss wad.
Their marriage is their responsibility, you didn't create the problem, let them sort it out. Tell her the truth, ignorance is not bliss in this case.
Our friendship has gone beyond liking already, if you get what i mean. There is bonding and deep emotions too. Then again, looking at the situation, no point crying over spilled milk. What has to go, has to go. Im juz thinking of the best way to handle this wreckage.
And yes, their marriage is their responsibility. It wasn't my action that created the problem. -
i definitely think she will NOT appreciate me for telling the truth and bursting her bubble, destroying her delusion.Originally posted by Space1999:either way , the friendship gone, she might not even appreciate you for telling the truth or bursting her bubble and destroying her illusion
she might even choose to believe her husband
but whatever your action is, pls dont forgive and forget..this is not something you can laugh about or brush it off as a misadventure on his side.
dont take it lightly. its after all , a sex crime