I just broke up with my gf today :(
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Today we just broke off and it was on rather bad terms as well.
Her main unhappiness was that I didnt respect her and that my heart is not with her. I am confused. Its true that i am shui bian but I didnt cheat or abuse her. I aso didnt disrespect her or what.
Below are the list of things which she's not happy about:
- Meet once or twice a week (she says its too few)
- Mostly, she calls (she's not happy that I didnt call much)
- When she's troubled, she's unhappy that I didnt notice and didnt console her
- She once impersonated a third person gal and pretended to befriend me. She's upset that I agreed to meet up and be friends with that "girl".
- I keep a few pictures of female models
- I wrote in an internet forum about how the r/s was giving me stress at a period of time. (she found out and was not happy)
The thing which happened today was the icing on the cake. She had a language exam today and I sms'ed to ask her how was it. The first part was ok and after the break, she sms'ed to say that the second part was difficult. Then she came to my place to borrow a book. I was tired and asked her to come up to my place to take it.
My impression was that she wanted the book and go straight off to photostat, so I just passed her the book and closed the metal gate. She flared up and accused me of being insensitive and not consoling her about the exam and treating her "like a dog" by not inviting her into the house.
I was very surprised. She has stayed over at my place the night before so its surprising that she flared up when I didnt invite her in. Also, I thot that the difficult part of the exam was a minor part since it was only listening.
I'm not all bad. I also buy her things, sms her, provide advice and encouragement, drive her home if the family car is avaliable. Like today, she forgot her exam pass, so I drove her all the way to her house to collect her pass(which is quite far) and drove her back.
I would like to see opinions on which have I done wrong?
Ya, on hindsight, I should have been more attentive about her troubles but the thing is she didnt tell me. Things like buying of cinema tickets. Most of the time she buys the tickets in advance and she didnt sound displeased or what. But when we have our arguments, she'll bring up this matter and say I take her for granted. I mean......if she's tired or feel that i'm taking for granted, why don't she tell me in the first place..... I can buy the ticket.
Its mostly these things which seem normal but somehow she takes it very seriously. Its confusing. Like sometimes when I am busy, i didnt reply to her sms immediately or soon enough, and she gets upset.
And I think she's unable to let past events go. Like sometimes when we are happily walking, she'll just say things like "you don't love me" or "you take me for granted".
Hai........its confusing. Which part am I in the wrong?
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*pat pat* -
i understand how u feel..im just thinking that nowadays girls all the same..expect too much from the bf..cheer up k..Originally posted by MingFreeman:Today we just broke off and it was on rather bad terms as well.
Her main unhappiness was that I didnt respect her and that my heart is not with her. I am confused. Its true that i am shui bian but I didnt cheat or abuse her. I aso didnt disrespect her or what.
Below are the list of things which she's not happy about:
- Meet once or twice a week (she says its too few)
- Mostly, she calls (she's not happy that I didnt call much)
- When she's troubled, she's unhappy that I didnt notice and didnt console her
- She once impersonated a third person gal and pretended to befriend me. She's upset that I agreed to meet up and be friends with that "girl".
- I keep a few pictures of female models
- I wrote in an internet forum about how the r/s was giving me stress at a period of time. (she found out and was not happy)
The thing which happened today was the icing on the cake. She had a language exam today and I sms'ed to ask her how was it. The first part was ok and after the break, she sms'ed to say that the second part was difficult. Then she came to my place to borrow a book. I was tired and asked her to come up to my place to take it.
My impression was that she wanted the book and go straight off to photostat, so I just passed her the book and closed the metal gate. She flared up and accused me of being insensitive and not consoling her about the exam and treating her "like a dog" by not inviting her into the house.
I was very surprised. She has stayed over at my place the night before so its surprising that she flared up when I didnt invite her in. Also, I thot that the difficult part of the exam was a minor part since it was only listening.
I'm not all bad. I also buy her things, sms her, provide advice and encouragement, drive her home if the family car is avaliable. Like today, she forgot her exam pass, so I drove her all the way to her house to collect her pass(which is quite far) and drove her back.
I would like to see opinions on which have I done wrong?
Ya, on hindsight, I should have been more attentive about her troubles but the thing is she didnt tell me. Things like buying of cinema tickets. Most of the time she buys the tickets in advance and she didnt sound displeased or what. But when we have our arguments, she'll bring up this matter and say I take her for granted. I mean......if she's tired or feel that i'm taking for granted, why don't she tell me in the first place..... I can buy the ticket.
Hai........its confusing. Which part am I in the wrong? -
i know who u are!
aiyo.. u are not a xi xin tie tie guy..
she felt upset due to her exam liao and u still like that fu yan her, ur bad~
go buy chocolates and go to her place apologise lah. -
- She once impersonated a third person gal and pretended to befriend me. She's upset that I agreed to meet up and be friends with that "girl".
i think she's damn screwed up.
congragulations on your breakup. you deserve better. -
both are in the wrong that cause this break up
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thats where you are wrong, pls listen to more love songs youngsterOriginally posted by MingFreeman:Today we just broke off and it was on rather bad terms as well.
Her main unhappiness was that I didnt respect her and that my heart is not with her. I am confused. Its true that i am shui bian but I didnt cheat or abuse her. I aso didnt disrespect her or what.
Below are the list of things which she's not happy about:
- Meet once or twice a week (she says its too few)
- Mostly, she calls (she's not happy that I didnt call much)
- When she's troubled, she's unhappy that I didnt notice and didnt console her
- She once impersonated a third person gal and pretended to befriend me. She's upset that I agreed to meet up and be friends with that "girl".
- I keep a few pictures of female models
- I wrote in an internet forum about how the r/s was giving me stress at a period of time. (she found out and was not happy)
The thing which happened today was the icing on the cake. She had a language exam today and I sms'ed to ask her how was it. The first part was ok and after the break, she sms'ed to say that the second part was difficult. Then she came to my place to borrow a book. I was tired and asked her to come up to my place to take it.
My impression was that she wanted the book and go straight off to photostat, so I just passed her the book and closed the metal gate. She flared up and accused me of being insensitive and not consoling her about the exam and treating her "like a dog" by not inviting her into the house.
I was very surprised. She has stayed over at my place the night before so its surprising that she flared up when I didnt invite her in. Also, I thot that the difficult part of the exam was a minor part since it was only listening.
I'm not all bad. I also buy her things, sms her, provide advice and encouragement, drive her home if the family car is avaliable. Like today, she forgot her exam pass, so I drove her all the way to her house to collect her pass(which is quite far) and drove her back.
I would like to see opinions on which have I done wrong?
Ya, on hindsight, I should have been more attentive about her troubles but the thing is she didnt tell me. Things like buying of cinema tickets. Most of the time she buys the tickets in advance and she didnt sound displeased or what. But when we have our arguments, she'll bring up this matter and say I take her for granted. I mean......if she's tired or feel that i'm taking for granted, why don't she tell me in the first place..... I can buy the ticket.
Its mostly these things which seem normal but somehow she takes it very seriously. Its confusing. Like sometimes when I am busy, i didnt reply to her sms immediately or soon enough, and she gets upset.
And I think she's unable to let past events go. Like sometimes when we are happily walking, she'll just say things like "you don't love me" or "you take me for granted".
Hai........its confusing. Which part am I in the wrong? -
Tsk tsk
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When two people break up, usually its not because of who's right and who's wrong.
Its just that you two were never meant to be. -
She switched off her hp and I'm worried......Hope she doesnt do anything silly
And hai, she threw the jigsaw puzzle present she gave me on my birthday on the floor and threw it away. Boy, it hurts. Even though its her present she gave to me, I still like it because she put in some hours of effort.
Hai....
yes, i'm not tee tie enough. I should have been more attentive. But I don't know how to deduce what she sees as important.
Also, her friends dont help much. Her friends will boast about how good their bfs are and I think she compares and expects me to meet "their standards". She denies it but she also keeps on saying how their bfs "call them 3 times in the morning to wake the girl up" and "the bf drives her home everyday".
I'm not denouncing my gf since she has her good points and we did have our happy moments but I cant help but think she's mistrustful and suspicious of me -
erm..but u learned a lesson right?thats the whole point of quarrels..it will make u learn more abt ur gf.
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I didnt know that she took the listening comprehension part so seriously. I thot that the listening takes up only a small percentage, so it wouldnt affect the marks too much. Her first part of the exam was easy, according to her.Originally posted by browniebaobao:i know who u are!
aiyo.. u are not a xi xin tie tie guy..
she felt upset due to her exam liao and u still like that fu yan her, ur bad~
go buy chocolates and go to her place apologise lah. -
If you love her, just go and console her la. Its time for you to make promises and changes for her. Since you are in Aunt Agony now, you change for her.
I would advice her to change also if she post here.
Anyway, both of you break up over such a tiny matter. I believe she still loves you. So yeah, just bring a box of chocolate and a rose for her.
Teddy bear also can. Show her your "smoother" and "sensitive" side...
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Hw long together???
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its hard to say how to be attentive enough.
if you become the 100% bf and everything also do, then you become a weakling in her eyes.
if you become more "manly" then you are not attentive and ti tie enough
i think the ones who succeed are the ones who can grasp the balance effectively. -
Both sound immature le...
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ok........thanks to all for the replies. Its encouraging.
I would like to carry on but i have my worries. Like her mistrust (when she impersonate as a third party girl) and how we view things differently.
She had a couple of failed r/s before and I think it has a negative impact. -
For 8 months so farOriginally posted by pierre^^:Hw long together??? -
- Meet once or twice a week (she says its too few) ~~~~ meeting once/twice is quite little unless u really busy everyday else should've try give alittle more...Originally posted by MingFreeman:Today we just broke off and it was on rather bad terms as well.
Her main unhappiness was that I didnt respect her and that my heart is not with her. I am confused. Its true that i am shui bian but I didnt cheat or abuse her. I aso didnt disrespect her or what.
Below are the list of things which she's not happy about:
- Meet once or twice a week (she says its too few)
- Mostly, she calls (she's not happy that I didnt call much)
- When she's troubled, she's unhappy that I didnt notice and didnt console her
- She once impersonated a third person gal and pretended to befriend me. She's upset that I agreed to meet up and be friends with that "girl".
- I keep a few pictures of female models
- I wrote in an internet forum about how the r/s was giving me stress at a period of time. (she found out and was not happy)
Ya, on hindsight, I should have been more attentive about her troubles but the thing is she didnt tell me. Things like buying of cinema tickets. Most of the time she buys the tickets in advance and she didnt sound displeased or what. But when we have our arguments, she'll bring up this matter and say I take her for granted. I mean......if she's tired or feel that i'm taking for granted, why don't she tell me in the first place..... I can buy the ticket.
Its mostly these things which seem normal but somehow she takes it very seriously. Its confusing. Like sometimes when I am busy, i didnt reply to her sms immediately or soon enough, and she gets upset.
And I think she's unable to let past events go. Like sometimes when we are happily walking, she'll just say things like "you don't love me" or "you take me for granted".
Hai........its confusing. Which part am I in the wrong?
- Mostly, she calls (she's not happy that I didnt call much) ~~~~regarding calls u also should've take initiative more since u know she likes talking to u...
- When she's troubled, she's unhappy that I didnt notice and didnt console her ~~~ as for this its difficult to catch so cant help it, hv to take the blame...
- She once impersonated a third person gal and pretended to befriend me. She's upset that I agreed to meet up and be friends with that "girl". ~~~~ this one can argue since its only 'fren' but u lose when she say u can meet her but not ur own gf using the time....
- I keep a few pictures of female models ~~~~ she will get jealous so keep secretly...
- I wrote in an internet forum about how the r/s was giving me stress at a period of time. (she found out and was not happy) ~~~~ at least dun use the nic she knows la... wat are clones for?
by reading on ur story, u dun fail badly but still not good... more gentleman conduct would be better... so up to u if u wanna continue with this or start a new relationship... -
understand how this feels but its up to u to give wat u can for this relationship... actuali no need to care much as long as u concentrate on charming ur gf away from reality... tats the highest level...Originally posted by MingFreeman:She switched off her hp and I'm worried......Hope she doesnt do anything silly
And hai, she threw the jigsaw puzzle present she gave me on my birthday on the floor and threw it away. Boy, it hurts. Even though its her present she gave to me, I still like it because she put in some hours of effort.
Hai....
yes, i'm not tee tie enough. I should have been more attentive. But I don't know how to deduce what she sees as important.
Also, her friends dont help much. Her friends will boast about how good their bfs are and I think she compares and expects me to meet "their standards". She denies it but she also keeps on saying how their bfs "call them 3 times in the morning to wake the girl up" and "the bf drives her home everyday".
I'm not denouncing my gf since she has her good points and we did have our happy moments but I cant help but think she's mistrustful and suspicious of me -
haiz bro....u must learn to be more understanding.....break up maybe be a good thing but its also not e only solution....
i n my gal together many yrs....downs more than ups....a few times broke up...in e end patch back again....
wat i learn was...in a relationship...one has to be a "water" if the other's a "fire"...if both "fire" sure die one...worst if both "water" this relationship is more likely an ambigous(sorri wrong spellin).....
call her more if she feels tat u call less...
sms her good nite n i love u more....
kiss her b4 parting....
hug her more often...
let her feel tat u care 4 her...
if she is ba dao...then let her be...gals r like tat...born to be spoilt....my gal also like tat....
so cheer up...cool down 1 or 2 days....go to her place n gif her flowers or her favourite stuffs....bring her to a quiet dinner n settle things slowly....
good luck.... -
Language Exam? JLPT?
Hmm, I think all u need is a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates.
GO to her house and apologise now!
Cheers.
C.K -
sui bian, not shui bian, unless u like Chen Shui Bian then i dunno
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That's another angle to look at it.....no wonder she's so upsetOriginally posted by BrUtUs:- She once impersonated a third person gal and pretended to befriend me. She's upset that I agreed to meet up and be friends with that "girl". ~~~~ this one can argue since its only 'fren' but u lose when she say u can meet her but not ur own gf using the time....
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Ya! JLPT!! You also take ar...... is the listening comprehension part important?Originally posted by CKeer:Language Exam? JLPT?
Hmm, I think all u need is a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates.
GO to her house and apologise now!
Cheers.
C.K