I just broke up with my gf today :(
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Thanks for the advice. Ya, to be honest, i am not romantic and i guess i didnt make her feel special enough.Originally posted by SpeedCam1852:wat i learn was...in a relationship...one has to be a "water" if the other's a "fire"...if both "fire" sure die one...worst if both "water" this relationship is more likely an ambigous(sorri wrong spellin).....
call her more if she feels tat u call less...
sms her good nite n i love u more....
kiss her b4 parting....
hug her more often...
let her feel tat u care 4 her...
if she is ba dao...then let her be...gals r like tat...born to be spoilt....my gal also like tat....
so cheer up...cool down 1 or 2 days....go to her place n gif her flowers or her favourite stuffs....bring her to a quiet dinner n settle things slowly....
good luck....
Thanks for the advice. if we can patch up, i'll have to sms and call and hug her more often. -
Originally posted by MingFreeman:Ya! JLPT!! You also take ar...... is the listening comprehension part important?
Nah~
One of my fren took her test today.
Cheers.
C.K -
Good luck, Freeman.
I have nothing much to offer you; the other forummates said it all. So I'll just offer you my blessings. -
This part. At least accompany her down to photocopy ma.Originally posted by MingFreeman:My impression was that she wanted the book and go straight off to photostat, so I just passed her the book and closed the metal gate. She flared up and accused me of being insensitive and not consoling her about the exam and treating her "like a dog" by not inviting her into the house. -
hahaha...Bro...take this as a learning experience. Girls are nothing like guys. They are very different.Originally posted by MingFreeman:Today we just broke off and it was on rather bad terms as well.
Her main unhappiness was that I didnt respect her and that my heart is not with her. I am confused. Its true that i am shui bian but I didnt cheat or abuse her. I aso didnt disrespect her or what.
Below are the list of things which she's not happy about:
- Meet once or twice a week (she says its too few)
- Mostly, she calls (she's not happy that I didnt call much)
- When she's troubled, she's unhappy that I didnt notice and didnt console her
- She once impersonated a third person gal and pretended to befriend me. She's upset that I agreed to meet up and be friends with that "girl".
- I keep a few pictures of female models
- I wrote in an internet forum about how the r/s was giving me stress at a period of time. (she found out and was not happy)
The thing which happened today was the icing on the cake. She had a language exam today and I sms'ed to ask her how was it. The first part was ok and after the break, she sms'ed to say that the second part was difficult. Then she came to my place to borrow a book. I was tired and asked her to come up to my place to take it.
My impression was that she wanted the book and go straight off to photostat, so I just passed her the book and closed the metal gate. She flared up and accused me of being insensitive and not consoling her about the exam and treating her "like a dog" by not inviting her into the house.
I was very surprised. She has stayed over at my place the night before so its surprising that she flared up when I didnt invite her in. Also, I thot that the difficult part of the exam was a minor part since it was only listening.
I'm not all bad. I also buy her things, sms her, provide advice and encouragement, drive her home if the family car is avaliable. Like today, she forgot her exam pass, so I drove her all the way to her house to collect her pass(which is quite far) and drove her back.
I would like to see opinions on which have I done wrong?
Ya, on hindsight, I should have been more attentive about her troubles but the thing is she didnt tell me. Things like buying of cinema tickets. Most of the time she buys the tickets in advance and she didnt sound displeased or what. But when we have our arguments, she'll bring up this matter and say I take her for granted. I mean......if she's tired or feel that i'm taking for granted, why don't she tell me in the first place..... I can buy the ticket.
Its mostly these things which seem normal but somehow she takes it very seriously. Its confusing. Like sometimes when I am busy, i didnt reply to her sms immediately or soon enough, and she gets upset.
And I think she's unable to let past events go. Like sometimes when we are happily walking, she'll just say things like "you don't love me" or "you take me for granted".
Hai........its confusing. Which part am I in the wrong?
This girl is not for you. I can tell you two were not compatible from the get-go.
Have you ever noticed it is she who is the one who keeps complaining? How about she showing respect for you? Why is she complaining so much ? This is what I call a girl who needs her boyfriend to stick with her 24/7 and say all the damn mushy stuff every time to make them feel good. Not good- not independent and always demanding like a princess. You will always feel like you are not performing for the boss. In the long-run, you will want to run away from her.
A relationship is supposed to be simple and happy at the same time. But it's just as if you are working in a company and your performance is not to the boss' liking.
One more thing, she is tired of you. That's why she is cutting off contact from you. Once a girl is tired, it is game over. When a girl is tired of you, one small mistake and you are sinned for life. When a girl likes you a lot, even if you make a small mistake, you can get away for murder.
In other words, please let her run away from you because she will remember all the small things forever. You don't want such girls either.
doko -
you are wrong when you did not call your gf...and so on...she is wrong in the sense that she is a bit too sensitive...
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don worry sad events would not last forever so cheer up ok all the best
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My question is, do you want to live your life like this forever? She's not going to change for the better... if you can handle this shyte happening all the time then go try to patch... if not move on.
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hey.. personally girls do get jealous easily.. so sometimes you will have to give in to u.. she will get jealous all because she cares for u.. wish to be with u.. hope that ur heart will be with her only.. seriously i think if now u still like her, so why now give yourself and your girl one more chance.. try to work things out.. maybe things arent as bad as what u think.. =) hope u two will be able to patch up.. good luck.. really.. since u think that u two had some happy moments together.. then why give up the happiness for the regret that you might feel in future? hm.. and i think she will be jealous could be because she did not have enough security being with u? why not try to give her more of ur time? perhaps things really arent as bad as what u think.. =) jia you
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obviously you make a horrible boyfriend.
she did the right thing!! -
All I can say is that she is not mature enough, and that you probably have some mismatch in personality. It is probably best to let go since she is so demanding and it is against your character.
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I don't think he is wrong. He has been a good boy but the girl wants more. Imagine he has to do everything the girl asked him to. "Mop my floor." "Call me everyday to make me happy." "Wipe my butt. " Ok, Im exaggerating here but you get the drift.
His dignity as a guy is going down the drain.
Nope, she is not good for him. She is out. No good. Other girls.
doko -
I have been here a while n i realised dokono always give the soundest advice, be it harsh or painful 2 hear, from my point of view...Juz wanna ask, do u know all this from ur own exp or from other sources, like books etc...Originally posted by dokono:I don't think he is wrong. He has been a good boy but the girl wants more. Imagine he has to do everything the girl asked him to. "Mop my floor." "Call me everyday to make me happy." "Wipe my butt. " Ok, Im exaggerating here but you get the drift.
His dignity as a guy is going down the drain.
Nope, she is not good for him. She is out. No good. Other girls.
doko
I'm juz very interested in understanding all about mars and venus...Ha -
Thanks Heartzz,Originally posted by Heartzzz:I have been here a while n i realised dokono always give the soundest advice, be it harsh or painful 2 hear, from my point of view...Juz wanna ask, do u know all this from ur own exp or from other sources, like books etc...
I'm juz very interested in understanding all about mars and venus...Ha
I am very interested in this area of affairs of the heart and have my own fair share of experiences. Of course, I have been rejected and hurt before. I always try to figure out what the girl is thinking.
Then I come to think about it. Why is it that guys can find girls who later dump them again? Why is it that so many guys can't maintain their relationship? Why is it that guys must treat their girlfriends, like a puppy licking its master's feet? So, I am quite tired of all these bootlicking and sucking up to girls. A relationship is not supposed to be this complicated.
After so long, I have come to realise that girls and guys are totally different. Everywhere. They want this and that but are unwilling to incur costs to them. Of course, not all girls are like this. There are good and bad girls.
That's why women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. So, to answer your question, Im still trying to understand women. Im still interacting with them and listen to people's opinions about them. You always learn from many people. You can never get bored out of this. Yunhaier is a great person to learn from. Her advice are sound as well.
Heartzz, are you trying to understand girls also?
doko -
Originally posted by MingFreeman:Today we just broke off and it was on rather bad terms as well.
Her main unhappiness was that I didnt respect her and that my heart is not with her. I am confused. Its true that i am shui bian but I didnt cheat or abuse her. I aso didnt disrespect her or what.
Below are the list of things which she's not happy about:
- Meet once or twice a week (she says its too few)
- Mostly, she calls (she's not happy that I didnt call much)
- When she's troubled, she's unhappy that I didnt notice and didnt console her
- She once impersonated a third person gal and pretended to befriend me. She's upset that I agreed to meet up and be friends with that "girl".
- I keep a few pictures of female models
- I wrote in an internet forum about how the r/s was giving me stress at a period of time. (she found out and was not happy)
The thing which happened today was the icing on the cake. She had a language exam today and I sms'ed to ask her how was it. The first part was ok and after the break, she sms'ed to say that the second part was difficult. Then she came to my place to borrow a book. I was tired and asked her to come up to my place to take it.
My impression was that she wanted the book and go straight off to photostat, so I just passed her the book and closed the metal gate. She flared up and accused me of being insensitive and not consoling her about the exam and treating her "like a dog" by not inviting her into the house.
I was very surprised. She has stayed over at my place the night before so its surprising that she flared up when I didnt invite her in. Also, I thot that the difficult part of the exam was a minor part since it was only listening.
I'm not all bad. I also buy her things, sms her, provide advice and encouragement, drive her home if the family car is avaliable. Like today, she forgot her exam pass, so I drove her all the way to her house to collect her pass(which is quite far) and drove her back.
I would like to see opinions on which have I done wrong?
Ya, on hindsight, I should have been more attentive about her troubles but the thing is she didnt tell me. Things like buying of cinema tickets. Most of the time she buys the tickets in advance and she didnt sound displeased or what. But when we have our arguments, she'll bring up this matter and say I take her for granted. I mean......if she's tired or feel that i'm taking for granted, why don't she tell me in the first place..... I can buy the ticket.
Its mostly these things which seem normal but somehow she takes it very seriously. Its confusing. Like sometimes when I am busy, i didnt reply to her sms immediately or soon enough, and she gets upset.
And I think she's unable to let past events go. Like sometimes when we are happily walking, she'll just say things like "you don't love me" or "you take me for granted".
Hai........its confusing. Which part am I in the wrong? 
I won't say it's a wrong, more than an avenue for learning. Albeit these are small issues in a relationship, but when you congregate them, it almost becomes a big sin.
Being sensitive, if it wasn't inborn, it must be taught consciously.
We have to recognise that some people's inner mechanism works that way so naturally... like breathing (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces), but time and patience must be given for people unlike those like themselves. Of course, if we nit pick those insensitive 'mistakes' you have committed, it's gonna make the relationship hellva intense.
Most people are like that - throw criticism about something, but does almost next to nothing to evolve you... expecting changes to be successful and immediate.
Not saying that you are right in your doings, but I am sure she also has her own flaws in the relationship. The fact that nobody is impeccably perfect means that there is always something new to learn, understand and explore in their own love. One key to a good, harmonious relationship is to assist your partner to evolve the 'not-so-good' qualities together. It doesn't always work to isolate him/her, asking him/her to do his/her own self reflection and change.
Self reflection is often slow in delivering and one's patience might not last long enough to see the result.
The intensity of a relationship is often caused by the individuals leading the relationship. If she puts her desired 'framework' of her own ideal relationship and forcefully nailed it to the actual 'picture' of her relationship, she is in for huge disappointment, because she will discover that it doesn't fit nicely. Eventually, she decide to replace the 'picture' (you) as she would rather keep her 'ideal frame'.
What she could have done, a wiser approach, in leading the relationship is to take the measurement from her own relationship and create that 'framework' based on the actual picture. She could do the alteration as she goes along - at least she need not invest so much into an 'ideal framework'.
Remember, it doesn't matter how exquisite other's portrait will turn out to be - ultimately, we are the only people admiring our own portrait. If we could accept our art work, nobody can tell us that it's a bad piece because art is truly abstract and subjective.
Cheers -
a relationship can be v draggy if both of u did not communicate well..
maybe both of you are not compatible in her sorts of ways.. -
Originally posted by dokono:Thanks Heartzz,
I am very interested in this area of affairs of the heart and have my own fair share of experiences. Of course, I have been rejected and hurt before. I always try to figure out what the girl is thinking.
Then I come to think about it. Why is it that guys can find girls who later dump them again? Why is it that so many guys can't maintain their relationship? Why is it that guys must treat their girlfriends, like a puppy licking its master's feet? So, I am quite tired of all these bootlicking and sucking up to girls. A relationship is not supposed to be this complicated.
After so long, I have come to realise that girls and guys are totally different. Everywhere. They want this and that but are unwilling to incur costs to them. Of course, not all girls are like this. There are good and bad girls.
That's why women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. So, to answer your question, Im still trying to understand women. Im still interacting with them and listen to people's opinions about them. You always learn from many people. You can never get bored out of this. Yunhaier is a great person to learn from. Her advice are sound as well.
Heartzz, are you trying to understand girls also?
doko
How come got my name one~
/me slipped doko a cheque under the table. 
Cheers -
*rejects because Im paid peanuts*Originally posted by Yunhaier:
How come got my name one~
/me slipped doko a cheque under the table.
Cheers
doko -
being in a r/s, you do need to lean on each others sometimes.
you can't be strong all the time and there will be times where you want your other half to be there.
so I guess for the thread_starter, perhaps you were not by your GF side when she needs you most and thus felt neglected.
I do know that the chase is more exciting but believe me, until the day you both RIP, do treat your gf, wife still as a chase...
I bet for those in R/s will know the joy when you bother to do something & rewarded by the happiness you see in your other half's face..
lastly, do rem, if you want to do something, don't think about rewards/benefits.. -
hmmm.so how old is ur gf dude?hope u dun mind that im asking that.
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always think before you do something.
closing the door infront of someone like very rude. -
its true tht u didnt actually do anything wrong but i guess u shld take the initiative more, in the future.Originally posted by MingFreeman:Today we just broke off and it was on rather bad terms as well.
Her main unhappiness was that I didnt respect her and that my heart is not with her. I am confused. Its true that i am shui bian but I didnt cheat or abuse her. I aso didnt disrespect her or what.
Below are the list of things which she's not happy about:
- Meet once or twice a week (she says its too few)
- Mostly, she calls (she's not happy that I didnt call much)
- When she's troubled, she's unhappy that I didnt notice and didnt console her
- She once impersonated a third person gal and pretended to befriend me. She's upset that I agreed to meet up and be friends with that "girl".
- I keep a few pictures of female models
- I wrote in an internet forum about how the r/s was giving me stress at a period of time. (she found out and was not happy)
The thing which happened today was the icing on the cake. She had a language exam today and I sms'ed to ask her how was it. The first part was ok and after the break, she sms'ed to say that the second part was difficult. Then she came to my place to borrow a book. I was tired and asked her to come up to my place to take it.
My impression was that she wanted the book and go straight off to photostat, so I just passed her the book and closed the metal gate. She flared up and accused me of being insensitive and not consoling her about the exam and treating her "like a dog" by not inviting her into the house.
I was very surprised. She has stayed over at my place the night before so its surprising that she flared up when I didnt invite her in. Also, I thot that the difficult part of the exam was a minor part since it was only listening.
I'm not all bad. I also buy her things, sms her, provide advice and encouragement, drive her home if the family car is avaliable. Like today, she forgot her exam pass, so I drove her all the way to her house to collect her pass(which is quite far) and drove her back.
I would like to see opinions on which have I done wrong?
Ya, on hindsight, I should have been more attentive about her troubles but the thing is she didnt tell me. Things like buying of cinema tickets. Most of the time she buys the tickets in advance and she didnt sound displeased or what. But when we have our arguments, she'll bring up this matter and say I take her for granted. I mean......if she's tired or feel that i'm taking for granted, why don't she tell me in the first place..... I can buy the ticket.
Its mostly these things which seem normal but somehow she takes it very seriously. Its confusing. Like sometimes when I am busy, i didnt reply to her sms immediately or soon enough, and she gets upset.
And I think she's unable to let past events go. Like sometimes when we are happily walking, she'll just say things like "you don't love me" or "you take me for granted".
Hai........its confusing. Which part am I in the wrong?
if you give ur partner the impression that u are aloof,not a good thing wad.
and about the befriending of females and keeping other women's pics...remember,some girls get jealous easily. -
Im 100% sure she is scorpio
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u r nt sensitive enough?? lol .. if u r too sensitive .. i bet she will say u r nt giving her enough freedom .. being too sticky to her n such .. it is sad in a way that such things happen .. no one is in wrong .. i think ur gal probably is some1 more dependant .. while u r more independant .. prehaps u shld try to find things out from her instead of waitin her to tell u .. tat might give her a feeling tat u care n concern .. if nt she jus think tat u bo chap .. if u still hav feelings for her y nt give the rls another chance then
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haha same here,
v curious on how old u guys are.
yes, i agree w doko and yun's views...
they give quite good advices.