Outcast
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[quote]Originally posted by january:
i am also a very quiet person. -Same but when someone is with me long enough, they would find me a very talkative person instead.
i used to find this a disturbing trait. not able to be interesting person to other people. - Yes, it's very disturbing at times.
nowadays, i gotten used to the idea that i am like that loh.. however, i have all the intention to improve myself to become a better conversationalist and interesting person to others. - Good for you. Keep up the good work.
like learning a computer software, language, or subject,
being a interesting person is also the same thing. you have to learn. - Trying my best.
the learning process involves, observations, reflections, writing down ideas in paper, creating hypothesis, reading books on related topics to learn from others, practising conversing. and then u improve bit by bit. - Belive me, all the countless hours of training and hardwork, when you're on the battlefield, you go with your instints, though the training comes in use once in awhile.
being quiet and boring is not a crime. there should not be any tinge of guilt or low self esteem in yourself. - Trying my best to switch that mentality.
it is also not a big deal. humans must always be grateful in life especially when you have health, no need to worry about food and shelter everyday.
singaporeans are too greedy, always worrying about small issues of life and fail to appreciate the good things that they have. - I'm going to put it bluntly and simple, which human on earth does not greed? No offence, I know that some monks do too. If there isn't greed in you, you wouldn't have learnt to improve youself and typed the first few sentences as you just did. You just got used to it, that's all but still, there's greed.
worry and cry over issues like friendship, love, lack of money, pride and facial issues. you all really need to grow up and see the world. extreme poverty and poverty is still quite common around the world. - Even poor folks need friends. Don't you agree?
do you all know that about hundred of thousands of poor latin amercians have to illegal migrate to north america every year (not sure of figures) because they have not jobs in their countries. when they reach mexico and some countires without passort which were confiscated or they did not have it, they were bullied, hit and mistreated by some of the police. - Sorry to be rude, it's sad but that's their nation's problem, nothing to do with us and nothing to do with my current problem.
i only learn about these after i watch from the discovery channel titled "no borders". - Didn't catch that.
that is the problem with cities people like singapore. worrying and complaining non bread and butter issues. that sadly to say is human nature. however, because it can be changed, i am here to educate you people. - So you want people to argue over bread and butter issues instead of emotional issues? Look who's the greedy one here? You? Changing people? Look, this is how wars usually break out, trying to change another nation's beliefs and stuff, why not compromise? I belive our modern generation is well imbued with education, if you could help it, just safe yourself the hassle. -
Hey bro lonefighter, seems like we're on the same ship, I can't provide advise because I'm no better than you. So, speaking of which, I would love to see fate shine upon you brightly.Originally posted by loneFighter:hey biteme..same situation here.Althought i can say ive got a bunch of good friends both in the army and sec sch etc.For me when im with my good friends i can act very stupid and spontaneous,but in front of strangers or others that im not so familiar with,im very subdued.So much to the point that one of my dumb sergeants asked if i got an attitude problem.U talk about loyalty to friends, basic manners and a sense of compromise..these are the traits i value very much too.But sadly to say not everyone does.In fact i can say im 99% like you,with the number of girls i know being countable in a single hand,and some people even used to think i was gay
.I used to think that this world isnt fair,but i have come to accept it and take things one at a time.Living everything to fate. Best of luck bro. -
Try 1 to 1 meet up for chats? La kopi sessions? If not go in a smaller group like 3 or 4 people?Originally posted by biteme86:I used to volunteer in the old folks home. While I'm at it, I give my whole heart at helping out these folks, I don't go with a secondary objective in mind thus providing my best services for those old folks. Hope you'll understand, it's not that I'm not flexible of anything, it's just the way I do things.
Want to be friends, that's a whole new diff story already, just like I said, I don't talk much (unless I'm required to do some talking with the old folks) while I'm helping out the old folks, so they found me offensive or as you guys would put it "dao." Matter of fact, I'm not. Want to talk, after the session then talk but they already found me offensive plus I don't know how to socialise, so how? lol
You try... Meeting out with people only when you've alot bottled up in you and can't wait to open your mouth and release things out..
You can also try... Just going out with people, sit in one corner and chill... But don't switch yourself off totally... One important aspect of communication is to be an adequate listener too... Just observe and listen to what others have got to say, after a while you should more or less be able to get the hang of it...?
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Hi,
1st of all, there is nothing wrong to be an introvert. There are many great talents, scientists, artists who are introvert by nature. So there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.
2nd, if you are introvert by nature but wish to be extrovert, then first of all, take it easy. Take life easy. Don't be too hard on yourself. Mingle more with people. Talk to people. Slowly. It takes time. You will be there. -
u too my friendOriginally posted by biteme86:Hey bro lonefighter, seems like we're on the same ship, I can't provide advise because I'm no better than you. So, speaking of which, I would love to see fate shine upon you brightly.
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Im just like you too,unable to blend in with others and mostly keeping quiet most of the time,and sometimes me too ask myself why can't others see my skills or feats.
Maybe we can be friends? lol
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hey dude, your topic intrigues me man..
"...just wanna know what's happening to my social life as everything seem to be out of order. Many a times while I'm alone, I've told myself that I've manage to conquer loneliness because I've conquered many things in life but nevertheless, I knew I was lying to myself... "
I've coped many a times with said "loneliness" myself. That was say, during my secondary school days? (I'm your age btw, prolly can see from your pov.)
It was hell. Trying to adjust, finding company who could fit your personality, interest whatsoever. 4 years man. I wonder how I managed that really.
Fortunately, I've dealt with my problem, and I hope you can deal with it yourself too.
To start it off, I threw my perspectives to a whole new shape altogether. Remember that you are unique and you don't have to be anything else just to fit in. Instead, take the lead. You have many many things in question really, "life long companion" "girlfriend", can seriously wait. you're (we're) only 20, no one knows what life holds for us.
If you don't like the way things are going, DO SOMETHING NEW. and EXCITE yourself. Pick up a hobby, sport, and be enthusiastic about it. Something you can be passionate about and find something in common with others.
Seriously it's gonna be a very long post if I go on, drop me a pm if you'd like. Till then, life's about fun. love's about sharing 2 balanced lives with one another, not "needing" it.
Cheers bro -
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Originally posted by biteme86:
I'm not picky. All I asked for in a friend is loyalty, meaning never to sell me out, basic manners and must have a sense of compromise and respect towards each other, that's all I ask for. If there's anything in common between us would be an added bonus. Too much?
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o! frankly speaking, i thought guys shdon't have this kind of problems.
Guys can socialise much better than gals. ( from what i had observed these years)
But dude! you are definitely not alone. i've been in this situation before and i think i'm still stuck there.
Loyalty, basic manners sense of compromise and respect to each other? ttz the qualities i look for frenz last time. But i don't now. Like someone mentioned, there are very few such peeps now.
The world is changing. nowdays, people only think about themselves. I'm in poly now and i feel that most of my frenz are so fake! All making use of one another. but i'm still befriend my poly mates sincerely.
I can say that i don't have many frenz. Is number really matters?
it's their loss for not being ur friend.
But maybe one of my reason for my frenz becoming less close to me is because i don't like to talk on the phone! prefer Msn-ing! n they even scold me for that! isn't that stupid -
I remember encountering similar incidences like yours. But having read some guides n tips, the fear gradually subsided. So yea, here's 1 of my secret formula!
http://catb.org/~esr/writings/sextips/pickup.html -
Well dude, there's nothing wrong with crying. See it as a form of release, even as guys we have the rights to cry. If someone tells you, you are unmanly when you cry, that person is just too sterotypical and thinks that guys should be unemotional, but it is wrong to be emotional as a guy?Originally posted by biteme86:I felt that God has wasted his efforts on me by giving me the ability to speak.
Sometimes, before I sleep, I just felt like crying silently with a pillow on my face but always, my ex BMT OC's words would surface on my mind, "A man owns 2 very personal and precious things in his life, that is his tears and his balls. Never let any one of them get detach from your body." Hence I swallowed it back and take it like a man. -
When was the last outing......? I didn't noe~~~Originally posted by M©+square:WElcome to sgforums Aunt Agony. Enjoy your stay and enjoy the company.
We do have outings every now and then. -
You pierre or doko?Originally posted by pierre^^:em uncle u got read properly anot
He DUN WAN GUY FREN
HE WAN GF
doko -
Well for one, I use to think that horoscope is meant to impress girls and satisfy some form of curiousity. Its only until of late when my buddy took a sudden interest in it and told me the descriptive capabilities of how horoscope can describe your behaviour, then do I found it different.Originally posted by biteme86:No. Could you kindly enlighten me what has it got to do with horoscope?
It can't be exactly used to dominate your mindset, but it can help you find certain perks and quirks about you. In a sense know more about yourself. This way you can see where are your strengths and what are your weaknesses.