Cheating! - Where do you draw the line?
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Hi,
In your relationship, what constitute cheating?
Could you share what your definition of cheating is? Did you discuss this with your significant other? Do you think you guys have the same understanding of cheating?
At what point do you think it is cheating?
For example, for women, flirting and dancing with a attractive men in a pub who chat you up, do you think of that as cheating?
How many of you think that you actually "cheated" in a sense but think that because it is "mild" (like above), it doesn't even make you feel guilty? -
secretly in communication with the other sex without your partner knowledgeOriginally posted by spencer99:Hi,
In your relationship, what constitute cheating?
Could you share what your definition of cheating is? Did you discuss this with your significant other? Do you think you guys have the same understanding of cheating?
At what point do you think it is cheating?
For example, for women, flirting and dancing with a attractive men in a pub who chat you up, do you think of that as cheating?
How many of you think that you actually "cheated" in a sense but think that because it is "mild" (like above), it doesn't even make you feel guilty?
internet is the biggest avenue of cheating nowadays -
hmm... this means that really a lot of people "cheat"!Originally posted by Space1999:secretly in communication with the other sex without your partner knowledge
internet is the biggest avenue of cheating nowadays -
yes , white lies they call it, it may result in harmless nothing , but!Originally posted by spencer99:hmm... this means that really a lot of people "cheat"!
this is the seed of the bigger cheatings , affairs etc.
and oh
showing your naked body to other woman without your wife knowledge is also cheating
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Hmm if the gal/guy like another guy/gal...when he/she is in a r/s, it is considered cheating liao...
the mindset is considered wrong already
Or when the guy/gal two timing when he/she is in a r/s..
Flirting is okie la..but cnt too much la..If u are single..u are free to flirt as much as u want..own preferences mah..but when u hav a partner le..dun so much lo..must tell urself to be commited and faithful when u are in a r/s
l noe there are alot of tempations outside..but alot of things...l believe u must ask urself..whether u are doing the thing in the right way or not lo..
In a r/s..l believe in the way of using right and wrong theories... -
for me cheating = unfaithfulness
unfaithfulness = doing things that only you should be doing with another person other than your wife/husband. that includes, thoughts, actions, words -
such a long list can be in hereOriginally posted by the_don:for me cheating = unfaithfulness
unfaithfulness = doing things that only you should be doing with another person other than your wife/husband. that includes, thoughts, actions, words
how about going to a movie with another girl or guy without your partner knowledge?
or..hmmm talking to another guy or girl on the internet till late night while your partner is sleeping, even though harmless talk -
My question is...
Do people talk to their partners about these boundaries... or do people assume that their partners have the same understanding.... -
that is deceit. not unfaithfulness.Originally posted by Space1999:such a long list can be in here
how about going to a movie with another girl or guy without your partner knowledge?
or..hmmm talking to another guy or girl on the internet till late night while your partner is sleeping, even though harmless talk
the person doing that better keep it really tight and not have any guilt feelings about it. reasons being this : when 1 party feels guilt, it will show in his/her treatment of his/her other half. often this means short temper, arguements etc due to his/her guilt. the end result is 2 unhappy people. -
how about confiding with another guy your thoughts and emotions even though you have a bf, or even to a certain extent like an earlier threadOriginally posted by the_don:for me cheating = unfaithfulness
unfaithfulness = doing things that only you should be doing with another person other than your wife/husband. that includes, thoughts, actions, words
having a guy "guardian angel" even though you have a bf.
point is many r/s have a very blurred line nowadays, the thread between confidant and lover is easily crossed -
deceit = cheating?correct?Originally posted by the_don:that is deceit. not unfaithfulness.
the person doing that better keep it really tight and not have any guilt feelings about it. reasons being this : when 1 party feels guilt, it will show in his/her treatment of his/her other half. often this means short temper, arguements etc due to his/her guilt. the end result is 2 unhappy people. -
So does that mean that having a bf/gf means that you have to cut off all ties with all your opposite sex friends regardless how good your friendship is? or how far back your friendship went?Originally posted by Space1999:how about confiding with another guy your thoughts and emotions even though you have a bf, or even to a certain extent like an earlier thread
having a guy "guardian angel" even though you have a bf.
point is many r/s have a very blurred line nowadays, the thread between confidant and lover is easily crossed -
do you consider..... footsie-ing under the table as cheating?
bascially for a gal to be footsied by a guy?
Will you ever "confess" to your partner on this type of cheating? -
well sorry to quote your case, but its disturbing to have a bf and guy guardian angel at the same time, isnt it?Originally posted by blu_sky:So does that mean that having a bf means that you have to cut off all ties with all your opposite sex friends regardless how good your friendship is?
dont it threaten your bf status?and the Ga role can be blurred ,
lets face it , if a guy and a gurl is too close, the risk is always there, after all man and woman , always a sex issue there -
thats cheating!heheOriginally posted by spencer99:do you consider..... footsie-ing under the table as cheating?
bascially for a gal to be footsied by a guy?
Will you ever "confess" to your partner on this type of cheating? -
i guess cheating or not, really depends on the intention of the parties involved. And honestly, why would one be 'footsie-ing' he has no intention to flirt (and therefore cheat)?Originally posted by spencer99:do you consider..... footsie-ing under the table as cheating?
bascially for a gal to be footsied by a guy?
Will you ever "confess" to your partner on this type of cheating? -
its true, but sometimes one party have no intention while the other has, hence the seed of cheating in planted there, while one have a very pure intention of friendshipOriginally posted by blu_sky:i guess cheating or not, really depends on the intention of the parties involved. And honestly, why would one be 'footsie-ing' he has no intention to flirt (and therefore cheat)?
the other will feign friendship to get what he/she wants.
will it bother you if your bf have a very close gf?and if she is hot too? -
How would the bf status be threatened, if there is full disclosure of the other party, and there is no secret being kept?Originally posted by Space1999:well sorry to quote your case, but its disturbing to have a bf and guy guardian angel at the same time, isnt it?
dont it threaten your bf status?and the Ga role can be blurred ,
lets face it , if a guy and a gurl is too close, the risk is always there, after all man and woman , always a sex issue there
How to have sex when the guy and the gal never go out alone? -
Its not always about the sex you know.Originally posted by blu_sky:How would the bf status be threatened, if there is full disclosure of the other party, and there is no secret being kept?
How to have sex when the guy and the gal never go out alone?
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Well, that is where trust comes in. But it really takes cooperation from the bf too. The bf must be sensitive to his girlfriend's feelings. That includes absolute honesty.Originally posted by Space1999:its true, but sometimes one party have no intention while the other has, hence the seed of cheating in planted there, while one have a very pure intention of friendship
the other will feign friendship to get what he/she wants.
will it bother you if your bf have a very close gf?and if she is hot too? -
i know, but i am replying a qn you know?Originally posted by ditzy:Its not always about the sex you know. 
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i know , but it will always be out there, one mistake, one weakness, one bad day, one drink , and end up in bedOriginally posted by ditzy:Its not always about the sex you know.
bamm!
thats how it happens
woman when they are emotionally weak is when they make the most mistakes, men ?they are just waiting for that moment. -
Like i said, dun put yourself in that position. dun go out alone lah.Originally posted by Space1999:i know , but it will always be out there, one mistake, one weakness, one bad day, one drink , and end up in bed
bamm!
thats how it happens
woman when they are emotionally weak is when they make the most mistakes, men ?they are just waiting for that moment. -
true, but from many years of experienceOriginally posted by blu_sky:Well, that is where trust comes in. But it really takes cooperation from the bf too. The bf must be sensitive to his girlfriend's feelings. That includes absolute honesty.
close friend are sometimes aftermath of a previous relationship which ended but both parties wanted to be still friends.opposite sex friends are always from that source if they are very close
what if your bf/gf close friend have a history with him/her
can you still accept it?
i mean they had sex before , you know? -
LOL alot of grey areas. Can't offer any concrete rules. However I think some things are true for everyone guy or girl
1. Your partner cannot fulfill your every need. Most your needs yes, but not all.
2. Life is more than just a relationship, you need to have your own interests and friends
and lastly
3. People are innately selfish. You want to enjoy lax rules, but it's difficult to accept your partner doing the same LOL