Race and Religion issue...
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That is not love then. Thats called LUST.Originally posted by Oriakan:More then sex
As far as I know, this feeling called 'love' is a electrochemical reaction in our bodies which helps us to get sex.
Its all about sex because sex means our genes can be carried forward. Don't be deceived into thinking 'love' is more than electrochemical reaction.
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Originally posted by Gauze:My girl is Christian, I'm Muslim and we've been together for around 5 years already. I don't think we had to negotiate much about our religious identity. We simply take interest in exploring them.
When the fasting month comes, she wants to follow us fasting also. For sunday mass, we'd drop by the church earlier and Id hang out some place else while she attends it. She told me strongly not to force her to wear a tudung, but she tempts me with a yummy looking pork dish while she eats one (she laughs). Normal things like that.
Religion isnt an issue between us two. So I'd agree with countdracula's post, that its external pressures. Its weird though our parents doesnt seem to mind. Probably its because they secretly expect each of us to convert someday.
Marriage ah. We're not willing to go through it yet as I'm in NS ord-ing 2008 only. When the time comes, we're willing to undertake the demands for us to stay together. If minds change or the struggle fails, I doubt religion is to blame because despite it, we did drink and got drunk of joy from the same cup.
I am impressed.
It's heartening to see your relationship acknowledging religion and love as separate entity because things are quite tricky when 'God' is part of the picture. Many people struggled from this crisis and eventually got defeated by their prudent perception that God must exist first before Love. Assimilation is not the only way to achieve harmony in such relationship.
Ultimately they suffered the struggle and conflicts from within - a Jupiter affliction in synastry (astrology).
To achieve harmony, one must work to liberate ourselves from spiritual imprisonment of such reasoning made by man, in name of God and to honor love into your heart in perfect love and trust.
Why would God forbid something so natural and beautiful like Love? In the end, the suppression is largely self inflicted by man themselves.
I do not know how long your relationship could continue in such a fashion, but certainly, the higher wisdom that existed in handling your relationship is indeed commendable. Allow me to encourage you to pursue what love wants of you and not succumb to critics of society and all moralistic/religious blasting to condemn your relationship.
Being zealous does not necessarily mean that one would have a fulfilling relationship - they are mutually exclusive. In fact, I fondly recalled one old aunt agony case involving a promiscuous wife being nine-months married to a pastor due to reasons other than love. The man suspected his wife and controlled her socially with rules, breed from possessiveness and chauvinism.
It's a pity that I couldn't follow up the case as the TS had stopped replying, but what I am trying to tell you is that cosmic lesson/s in love and relationship permeates anything in life... be it money, life, religion, family or career, being all different aspects of your life.
Should I burn in hell for relating such blasphemous thoughts, it's because thou art (love) to me a delicious torment. I would rather face God or the dogs of fire acted upon my freewill I have chosen in my life, than to realize that at the end of my road, I am but leading the life of others, not grasping the full extends of my own destiny.
God grows you spiritually... so does Love. They can complement each other - they don't have to cannibalize each other's existence. It certainly takes some wisdom to look from that perspective.
Cheers -
wrong post
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ermm... me too is jealous of gauze..
about my family, my parents wont care if i married a baboon as long as she is an islam. As for the girl, her parent are buddhist. (yea, only her and her brother are christian).Not sure whether her parents accept her attach being with other race.
Now wad i want to find out is whether its possible to carry on loving and caring for each other just like gauze and his partner with such tremendous amount of pressure from friends and religious people?
not that i want to make gauze think or anything but i would like to ask, how long can they carry on believeing in the different religion. At some point of time, im sure there will be conflict between religion for example marriage
Afterall, love is about compromising each other beliefs. But how much can one compromise each other?
and yea i dont fully understand the post by Yunhaier. The england too powderful
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Originally posted by ifish:ermm... me too is jealous of gauze..
about my family, my parents wont care if i married a baboon as long as she is an islam. As for the girl, her parent are buddhist. (yea, only her and her brother are christian).Not sure whether her parents accept her attach being with other race.
Now wad i want to find out is whether its possible to carry on loving and caring for each other just like gauze and his partner with such tremendous amount of pressure from friends and religious people?
not that i want to make gauze think or anything but i would like to ask, how long can they carry on believeing in the different religion. At some point of time, im sure there will be conflict between religion for example marriage
Afterall, love is about compromising each other beliefs. But how much can one compromise each other?
and yea i dont fully understand the post by Yunhaier. The england too powderful Don't take up that challenge if you are not prepared to leap flames, get trashed from other's perspective and constantly having to defend your relationship.
People THINK that such relationship will not be able to make it because the hurdles are real and arduous.
If deep love existed, the problems are still manageable. If one conviction and love is feeble, you can have the same skin colour, race, religion, status and whatever thingy that segment our society - things just won't work out.
How long do you want to live under your parent's ideology of what they reckon life is best for you? Even the young birds must one day flap their wings and leave their comfortable nest in search of food for themselves - you will one day fall in love and start a family in the future. These are major decisions in life which you must learn to be responsible for and ultimately learn what's best for yourself based on your own failure and experience.
Should you fail, you must fail with your own hands and not disrupted by nefarious plots others/society had instilled into your mind, which causes the failure.
There are some things in life worth fighting for and if you have decided that this love is paramount to your personal growth, you must draw steel and fight for what you believe.
Cheers -
I have a friend who broke up with his girlfriend who also in the same religion as him, and according to him, it is because his preacher or whatever you call him, advised my friend not to have relationship one.
I'd say that is totally bullshit lor. -
okae.. im in a dilemna now. Half of me ask me to give up as she rejected me due to this issue.. but other than that i can still feel the love between us and think i should carry on and hopefully manage to change her mind.
I could feel we're getting closer by the day
Should i draw my sword and carry on fighting or give up? -
if its different religion, i'll understand but same religion?Originally posted by mase101:I have a friend who broke up with his girlfriend who also in the same religion as him, and according to him, it is because his preacher or whatever you call him, advised my friend not to have relationship one.
I'd say that is totally bullshit lor.
care to share what exactly did the preacher say? -
up to u.Originally posted by ifish:okae.. im in a dilemna now. Half of me ask me to give up as she rejected me due to this issue.. but other than that i can still feel the love between us and think i should carry on and hopefully manage to change her mind.
I could feel we're getting closer by the day
Should i draw my sword and carry on fighting or give up?
But the road will not be smooth.
Someone has to compromise. -
can dont so dramatic? Just draw your sword, fight through enemy and cut their head off lah.Originally posted by ifish:okae.. im in a dilemna now. Half of me ask me to give up as she rejected me due to this issue.. but other than that i can still feel the love between us and think i should carry on and hopefully manage to change her mind.
I could feel we're getting closer by the day
Should i draw my sword and carry on fighting or give up? Seriously, go for it. At least in the end of the day, you dont regret since you have tried your best. -
thats the difficult part. someone has to compromise but who and how much?Originally posted by laoda99:up to u.
But the road will not be smooth.
Someone has to compromise. -
I have no idea. My friend now is totally into christian thing. He even skip his best friend farewell party because he got something with his church. That's why I never like fanatic christians.Originally posted by ifish:if its different religion, i'll understand but same religion?
care to share what exactly did the preacher say? -
Can u compromise?Originally posted by ifish:thats the difficult part. someone has to compromise but who and how much? -
not drama. just copy from Yunhaier.Originally posted by mase101:can dont so dramatic? Just draw your sword, fight through enemy and cut their head off lah. Seriously, go for it. At least in the end of the day, you dont regret since you have tried your best.
u think i should carry on chionging and live with no regret?
and yar.. how to restart since she rejected me? wont it make me look like despo? -
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im willing to compromise but there's always a limit and the other party do need to compromise to.Originally posted by tweakmax:Can u compromise?
Am i right? -
Are u in self-denial?Originally posted by ifish:not drama. just copy from Yunhaier.
u think i should carry on chionging and live with no regret?
and yar.. how to restart since she rejected me? wont it make me look like despo?
Tot u said u feel drawing closer? -
Dont try too hard lah. Just do those romantic stuff or something like that. Melt her heart. Well, you can also show her a diamond that is bigger than a 20 inch bmx wheel. If still cannot, suck thumb and find another one lor.Originally posted by ifish:not drama. just copy from Yunhaier.
u think i should carry on chionging and live with no regret?
and yar.. how to restart since she rejected me? wont it make me look like despo?
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no no... maybe u dont get me. what im trying to say is that, after she reject me, i can feel we're still as close or maybe closer than before. however, how am i going to ask her the magic qn again? wont it be like abit too much for the guy to keep asking the girl that qn many times?Originally posted by laoda99:Are u in self-denial?
Tot u said u feel drawing closer? -
LOL magic question leh. Ar bo then, ask it when you have nothing up your sleeves to do romantic stuff for her lor. Do do some research on romantic stuff that can be done, there are lots of them.Originally posted by ifish:no no... maybe u dont get me. what im trying to say is that, after she reject me, i can feel we're still as close or maybe closer than before. however, how am i going to ask her the magic qn again? wont it be like abit too much for the guy to keep asking the girl that qn many times? -
U have already asked her many times?Originally posted by ifish:no no... maybe u dont get me. what im trying to say is that, after she reject me, i can feel we're still as close or maybe closer than before. however, how am i going to ask her the magic qn again? wont it be like abit too much for the guy to keep asking the girl that qn many times?
If she is still uninterested, mebbe it is wiser to give up.
As I have said, there are other fishes in the pond.
Your relationship with her is far more complicated than the two of u can imagine, as it involve not just religion, but also race.
Even if u can pass the religion hurdle, the race hurdle is hard to pass. -
improve the feeling and the qn will come out naturally??Originally posted by mase101:LOL magic question leh. Ar bo then, ask it when you have nothing up your sleeves to do romantic stuff for her lor. Do do some research on romantic stuff that can be done, there are lots of them. -
no lar.. once only. i dont think much of a race issue.. more to the religion issue.Originally posted by laoda99:U have already asked her many times?
If she is still uninterested, mebbe it is wiser to give up.
As I have said, there are other fishes in the pond.
Your relationship with her is far more complicated than the two of u can imagine, as it involve not just religion, but also race.
Even if u can pass the religion hurdle, the race hurdle is hard to pass. -
Race is an issue.Originally posted by ifish:no lar.. once only. i dont think much of a race issue.. more to the religion issue.
And religion is already a big headache. Surely both of u would want each other to convert.
Relationship/marriage is not just abt two individuals. It is abt family/society. Either u or her must be prepared to be rejected by ur own family/society. Can u or her bear the consequences? -
Sort of, dont get too desperate lah. ask it like that when you two like close till you can visit her parents lor. Heh.Originally posted by ifish:improve the feeling and the qn will come out naturally??