My wife to be don't want to marry me..

• ThomasBRIAN

  14 Dec 06, 14:06

  My gf... wife to be..
  suddenly opt out...
  that she doesn't want to marry me...
  two weeks later is our wedding.
  all our preparation done already.
  family member invited..
  now ..
  she want out.
  
  cause she find that she doesn't really love me..
  it been only a game for her all along..
  and we have lot of quarrel due to finding for flat..
  wedding gown.. dress... etc..
  
  it really sad that she do it out of sudden..
  she firmly don't want to marry me.
  
  how to explain to ppl that now she want out???
  
  
• spycampers

  14 Dec 06, 14:08

  if she really don' want u..
  bo pian..
  got to give up
• Mid9Sun

  14 Dec 06, 14:11

  That yucks...anyway think on the bright side....better now then
  later divorce.......
  
  Anyway hang in there bro....
• shinta

  14 Dec 06, 14:12

  u might wanna go to a marriage counsellor or sth
  
  cos sometimes hor.. she might be overwhelmed by a lot of things causing her to feel this way.
• Ito_^

  14 Dec 06, 14:13

  she stressed out and gave up.
  
  my condolence.
• Darkness_hacker99

  14 Dec 06, 14:21

  Invite sgForumees to your wedding place for a dinner lor.But you'll have to pay.
• Mid9Sun

  14 Dec 06, 14:25

  Originally posted by shinta:

  u might wanna go to a marriage counsellor or sth
  
  cos sometimes hor.. she might be overwhelmed by a lot of things causing her to feel this way.

  Yup Shinta's advise's good...go marriage conunsellor...if she refused..then
  its truly ..game over.......
• shinta

  14 Dec 06, 14:35

  Originally posted by Mid9Sun:

  Yup Shinta's advise's good...go marriage conunsellor...if she refused..then
  its truly ..game over.......

  i was overwhelmed when it was my turn cos my stupid husband can't be bothered with most of the stuff
  
  
• Mid9Sun

  14 Dec 06, 14:37

  Originally posted by shinta:

  i was overwhelmed when it was my turn cos my stupid husband can't be bothered with most of the stuff
  
  

  good mah..then u can plan your perfect wedding the way you want it...
• shinta

  14 Dec 06, 14:40

  Originally posted by Mid9Sun:

  good mah..then u can plan your perfect wedding the way you want it...

  no good ar..
  
  so stressed...
  
  simple rom nia.. make me feel like crying so many times..
  
  
• mochou

  14 Dec 06, 14:40

  You mentioned "and we have lot of quarrel due to finding for flat..
  wedding gown.. dress... etc.."
  
  Issit before your marriage plan, two of you seldom decide on something big together? And when it comes to marriage plans, then you two realize that the way of thinking is very different for both of you. You two cant come to a common decision for these things. This is give both of you stress.
  
  Once i watched TV show, the guy said something which i find it really true. He said when a couple argues on something, it's doesnt matter who have the reasons, cos in most cases, both side got their reasons, will end up in a debate that neither one will win. A couple should decide in the first place, when comes to big decisions, who has the final call. If it's the man who have the final call, the girl must listen, while the man have to be responsible for it.
  
  In such cases, you need help from ppl around her. I hope you have built connection with ppl around her already, like her parents, her best fren. Look for them and tell them your problem, see if they can help.
  
  And since you say you two had problems choosing things, maybe you were really too hard on her? For the flats, you may stand your ground, but for the dress and gown, let her have her way. It's a once in a lifetime thing, let the girl choose the best dress she want.(Sorry for assuming that you didnt gave in the her on the dress/gown.)
  
  seek help from counsellor too as others said, and find out the real reason behind it. If she's just too stressed, or just not happy with the plan you come up, then it's still ok. If she really do not love you at all....... then just forget it.
  
  
• dragg

  14 Dec 06, 14:48

  Originally posted by Mid9Sun:

  Yup Shinta's advise's good...go marriage conunsellor...if she refused..then
  its truly ..game over.......

  i agree. maybe she has hun qian kong ju.
  
  
• the_don

  14 Dec 06, 14:49

  think u need to talk to her and understand why she is reacting this way? it could be stress, it could be a built up of frustration at you or something, etc.
  
  remember do not be confrontational. that does nothing. at the same time, review the way you been treating her, why you guys had so many quarrels. talk to a lady fren (over the phone!) to get a gal's point of view about your actions. it might seem perfectly fine to u but not to a gal.
  
  if all else fails, then it is better now then after marriage
• BrUtUs

  14 Dec 06, 14:50

  of all the time it happens now... first of all bring her to marriage counselling then see if things can improve but contact the restaurant & wateever that u need to postpone and work it out with them... but the big issue is u hv to charm her back cos tis might due to mental rather than no heart... u need lots of time working her out... talk to her, let her know why all the road to marriage happened in the first place, go somewhere quiet and let her think straight... n pray hard she finally sort it out... but beware, if u success now, it might happen again soon after u married so u better let her clearly sort it straight tat she reali loves u...
• Vel Vel

  14 Dec 06, 15:10

  marriage is such an important thing to a gal, i am sure she did weigh out what she needed to, before saying something like tat.
  but this is not a confirm gone case, cos she could be simply overstressed that she could be making the wrong decision. that also means that u might not be giving her the assurance she needed.
  
  regarding the does-not-love-u, and love-u-is-a-game-part, it could still simply resulted from stress and she said it jus so u will agree to cancel the wedding.
  but if it is not this case, then erm erm.......
  
  in any case, i still hope u will try ur best to get her back. show her ur 110%!
  JIA YOU!
• choco B

  14 Dec 06, 15:12

  Err. when issit ha?
  

  Originally posted by shinta:

  no good ar..
  
  so stressed...
  
  simple rom nia.. make me feel like crying so many times..
  
  

• Mid9Sun

  14 Dec 06, 15:12

  Originally posted by shinta:

  no good ar..
  
  so stressed...
  
  simple rom nia.. make me feel like crying so many times..
  
  

  liew..how come need to cry?????
• Vel Vel

  14 Dec 06, 15:16

  Originally posted by Mid9Sun:

  liew..how come need to cry?????

  i wahliew u le....
  marriage is a very BIG thing lor, then if ur hubby bochap bochap, u think u feel sad or not??
• pwnz0r

  14 Dec 06, 15:19

  And my old thread is relevant here and even more so when my own wedding approaches. Don't lose sight of what a wedding truly is.
  
  

  
  Not about the food
  Not about the guests
  Not about the parents or in laws
  Not about the restaurant
  Not about the hotel
  Not about the tea ceremony
  Not about your friends
  Not about the wedding gown
  Not about the tuxedo
  Not about the lingerie
  Not about the gifts
  Not about the ang boh
  Not about the money
  Not about the decorations and flowers
  Not about the theme
  Not about whether you can cover the cost
  Not about relatives who you haven't seen since the last decade
  Not about your colleagues or business associates
  Not about the emcee
  Not about jewellery
  Not about the engagement bands
  Not about the songs being played
  Not about the liquor
  Not about yam seng
  Not about the photographer
  
  It is simply the marriage between 2 people.
  
  I'm sad to see couples ruin their marriages by being focused on all the little things rather than each other.
  
  Peace.
  

  http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=221659
  
  I read this as a quote from a lady about to get married. Not verbatim, but the gist is there.
  
  "Marrying him is already perfect. Nothing else matters."
  
  I've seen too many couples not enjoying the preparation when considering the family, the arrangements, etc. They have already lost sight of what a wedding is. So I hope that your fiancee can come to understand that.
  
• shinta

  14 Dec 06, 15:22

  Originally posted by choco B:

  Err. when issit ha?
  

  september..
  
  everything over liao
  
  
  
  so stressed hor.. i wasn happy on that day
  
  
• shinta

  14 Dec 06, 15:23

  Originally posted by Vel Vel:

  i wahliew u le....
  marriage is a very BIG thing lor, then if ur hubby bochap bochap, u think u feel sad or not??

  not sad... just very stress...
• pwnz0r

  14 Dec 06, 15:50

  Originally posted by shinta:

  september..
  
  everything over liao
  
  
  
  so stressed hor.. i wasn happy on that day
  
  

  Poor thing.
  
  Sighz, I feel sad for you. But its over already. Enjoy your life now.
• hisoka

  14 Dec 06, 15:52

  go announce about how she was a bitch, betraying you and probably having anpther men behind your back which is why she doesn't want to marry you?
• pocari_sweat

  14 Dec 06, 16:37

  Originally posted by ThomasBRIAN:

  My gf... wife to be..
  suddenly opt out...
  that she doesn't want to marry me...
  two weeks later is our wedding.
  all our preparation done already.
  family member invited..
  now ..
  she want out.
  
  cause she find that she doesn't really love me..
  it been only a game for her all along..
  and we have lot of quarrel due to finding for flat..
  wedding gown.. dress... etc..
  
  it really sad that she do it out of sudden..
  she firmly don't want to marry me.
  
  how to explain to ppl that now she want out???
  
  This is real agony , poor guy. Good luck.
  
  

• choco B

  14 Dec 06, 16:38

  Look on the bright side , the real agony is after married the wife wants a divorce
  This is cheaper!