Women please comment
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Armor is da same as mask.Originally posted by Devil1976:huh?
Muscle is da same as your real self.
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I don't think it's about like or don't like...
For me... I just had to walk away from a man who didn't know how to love others....
He is;
- Compulsive gambler
- Insecure
- Unfaithful
- Jobless
- Selfish
He talks about marriage and all, but I really doubt if he really understands what love is in the first place. The only person he loves is himself...
And so... I left... after 3 years, and he never changed. -
Meaning it's very easy to know you what?Originally posted by rane:Doko, there is still a need to lah as long as we are not communicating. Think my sis knows he is interested in me. My sis is not the sort to discuss BGR matters with. She knows his mum and if she knows about all the happenings then you know . . . . . . . HIs mum boasted about the son to my sis in my presence. aiyo, so ..... ! Whatever, he is still a coward, ha ha ha! Long while ago, my mum kaypoh ever asked his mum when are her 2 sons getting married. The mum also quite sleazy one lair! Think sleaziness is in their blood.
Doko, so have you decided where to go for your date. Make her comfortable, and make her laugh, be attentive to her needs while on the date, communicate well. With all these half the battle is won! Wish you luck. Update me.
My date? Perhaps. Im just enjoying. Im asking for guys out there also.
doko -
Originally posted by dokono:Meaning it's very easy to know you what?
My date? Perhaps. Im just enjoying. Im asking for guys out there also.
doko
Yeah, it's easy to know me. That's y he loves sitting near to my table at the eating place to eavesdrop my conversation with others. I have stopped this nuisance of his already. Wanna know me then be da fang don't be so sleazy. Can't help by him doing this I feel my privacy was invaded.
U mean u enjoy group outing? Good to go group outing which I miss these days. -
insecure
unstable career
heck care me (i'm like a deco on his bed when i go over to his place... i sit on his bed reading my stuff.. he chiong game)
hmm what else ar?
lazier than me -
Originally posted by Bontakun:Armor is da same as mask.
Muscle is da same as your real self. 
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RaneOriginally posted by rane: 
Hi, Doko
Yes, it would be good if the man is giving the lady a treat on the first date. Not necessary to go to expensive restaurant. Going to somewhere affordable, cosy. You could try going on dutch, but from the view point of females, think for the first date it is only good that the guys offer to pay (especially this is a date, a date means the guy is seeking opportunities to impress the lady he likes).
Do be sensitive, caring, attentive, communicative during the date. To quote you a real life eg, a friend went on a date with a guy. The guy brought her to food court, this was OK for the lady. The guy told the gal that he can't afford to buy her meal and without asking her what she would like to drink, he went ahead to order coffee for her. This friend did not enjoy the date and said that after drinking coffee she had stomach upset. So, do be sensitive to the other party during date. I can't understand why the guy can't afford say spend below $5 to buy a meal in a food court for the lady, OMG!
Nice nick you have there. Anyway, you mentioned no need for an expensive restaurant, I agree, especially for guys who are tight.
Food court you say?What do you think about bringing her to a foodcourt ? Maybe the guy is really poor?
doko -
so the thing is, there are some women out there who expect you to treat all the way at expensive restaurants, it looks nice outside, inside your pockets are suffering? Besides, for the first few dates is just getting to know each other better, see if the two can click, so spending so much is not really advisable.Originally posted by Bontakun:Bonta can comment?
Its the first date. Not just any common "asking a friend out". Of course it would be better to offer to treat. Unless you are on a tight budget or something, plan a nice one. Plan where you go, then find a nice place to eat there, depending on your budget, you can opt for movies or just walking around or bring her to those places with nice ambience. It depends quite abit on your talking skills to pull off a "cheap" date if you are rather poor at the moment.
Then again, it depends on your style really. You can treat all you want but you have to know her preferences and she has to more or less understand yours. Going to a place which she don't really like to eat is not that nice right? Or watching a movie while she wanted to watch another is not exactly a plus point for you also.
To win the battle, you have to know yourself as you know her. You also have to prepare abit. Even though in this modern era its common for many girls to initiate the first move, they never say they dislike being asked by many guys first right in your face, right?
Yes agreed, be prepared but I guess it's the best for the man to lead the way and plan everything, especially he is paying for everything.
doko -
Yah the guy will be crying all the way to the ATM to withdraw $$. Then when the r/s become steady the guy will only bring the girl to hawker centreOriginally posted by dokono:Yes agreed, be prepared but I guess it's the best for the man to lead the way and plan everything, especially he is paying for everything.
doko -
hahahaha...note: not all girls are like this. Some girls will really go after rich guys only. Just avoid these girls.Originally posted by NewAge:Yah the guy will be crying all the way to the ATM to withdraw $$. Then when the r/s become steady the guy will only bring the girl to hawker centre
doko -
Originally posted by dokono:Rane
Nice nick you have there. Anyway, you mentioned no need for an expensive restaurant, I agree, especially for guys who are tight.
Food court you say?What do you think about bringing her to a foodcourt ? Maybe the guy is really poor?
doko Hey, doko
Think depends on budget of the guy, if can afford go for restaurant (dun need upmarket posh one, ordinary one will do). If restaurant is out, then of course food court would be a better place to bring her rather than hawker centre. Choose a nice food court. If you notice, nowadays there are food courts which are rather quite pleasant to eat and chat there. For eg, foodcourt at wisma, and few others located in shopping centres.
for your info, the guy who went out with the gal is not poor. Come on he is working, think he is rather stingy, not willing to spend a few dollars on the first date! Not as if gals expect expensive food every appointment. If he is stingy on first date, then he will be stingy the whole of his life liao!!!! So far, I don't see any stingy guy change. Sometimes they get worse through the yrs.
Good luck to you, hope u enjoy yr date. -
Yes it may be "expected" but the investment has a significant impact and it shows your generousity and willingness to give. Well, there are cases where the first few dates doesn't have the guy paying for everything there is. So its up to you to discuss with her if its alright to do so. This is where "know her well beforehand" comes in. If you know her well enough to know she will not react BIG BIG when you discuss with her, then things will go smoothly. You get the idea.Originally posted by dokono:so the thing is, there are some women out there who expect you to treat all the way at expensive restaurants, it looks nice outside, inside your pockets are suffering? Besides, for the first few dates is just getting to know each other better, see if the two can click, so spending so much is not really advisable.
Yes agreed, be prepared but I guess it's the best for the man to lead the way and plan everything, especially he is paying for everything.
doko
He has to lead. This has always been the "way" since evolution of mankind. Well, you can always ask her to lead. Depending... There is no fixed pattern the guy must ALWAYS lead though I think many gals would prefer to be led someway or another right? Its a form of security you portray to the gal. Something she can rely on in you. Even wonder woman also don't mind being led on a few occasions. -
I think it really depends on the age of the girl and if she's working, if she's got high disposable income etc...Originally posted by Bontakun:Yes it may be "expected" but the investment has a significant impact and it shows your generousity and willingness to give. Well, there are cases where the first few dates doesn't have the guy paying for everything there is. So its up to you to discuss with her if its alright to do so. This is where "know her well beforehand" comes in. If you know her well enough to know she will not react BIG BIG when you discuss with her, then things will go smoothly. You get the idea.
He has to lead. This has always been the "way" since evolution of mankind. Well, you can always ask her to lead. Depending... There is no fixed pattern the guy must ALWAYS lead though I think many gals would prefer to be led someway or another right? Its a form of security you portray to the gal. Something she can rely on in you. Even wonder woman also don't mind being led on a few occasions.
Frankly, most of my GFs and I prefer to go dutch on the first few dates.. and only it progresses further then we will let the guy pay a little here and there... cos it's only fair.
But of cos, won't mind if the guy wants to splurge once a while...
And i do agree that girls (no matter how independent) still likes to be led sometimes... a man who can't make up his own mind can't be a good partner (sometimes)... -
Originally posted by dokono:
I hv said my story in my previous thread --> http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=232109&page=8
I have noticed that a lot of dysfunctional relationships in this forum are males whining about why their girlfriend who used to treat them so well now turn around and change heart or women who complain that their boyfriend don't treat them well and let others dictate the direction of their relationship.
This is getting more frequent in this generation. Breaking up occurs more frequently and divorce rates are increasing. My dad's generation is not this bad.
What exactly happen???
Ladies, please tell us what you don't like about your ex boyfriend/husband. Let us hear your complaints.
doko -
Great examples!Originally posted by rane: Hi, Doko
Hee, hee, still on the topic of relationship. Let me share with you our experience (mine and my friends). It definitely takes two to clap in any relationship.
Dating: Come across mummy's boys, spend too much time with buddies, stingy and have never bought Valentines' Day/birthday presents, can't be trusted, flirt with other gals, want girlfriend to stay home and not go out, self centred, not caring. Refuse to communicate when there are problems. Bf is insecure.
Marriage: Don't help to do housework and look after kids, everyday come back home late - 2 to 3 am and expect sex (unemployed). Gave hubby $ to start business for 2 times, hubby continued to take things for granted and still ask for more $. Hubby comes home everyday after dinner play computer games and refuse to take care of kids. Extra marital affair. Wife unemployed but still continue to look for job, husband is insensitive and uncaring told wife off saying that she is lazy, refuse to look for job and does not help to provide her financial need during her unemployment.
Well, well, the above are just some of the problems in a relationship. We need to be open to each other's needs, moods, and problems to improve the relationship. If one party refuses to do so, then relationship won't work. Nobody is perfect, but whenever there are issues or problems to be addressed, both parties must be mature, objective, sensitive, understanding and proactive to sort things out.
Hope the above help you to have a clear picture of those things that happen in some relationships. -
Yes it depends much on the lady. What is her character like. I know a few of them who prefer to treat and loves to host. Kinda like an elder sister/motherly feeling.Originally posted by Squiggly:I think it really depends on the age of the girl and if she's working, if she's got high disposable income etc...
Frankly, most of my GFs and I prefer to go dutch on the first few dates.. and only it progresses further then we will let the guy pay a little here and there... cos it's only fair.
But of cos, won't mind if the guy wants to splurge once a while...
And i do agree that girls (no matter how independent) still likes to be led sometimes... a man who can't make up his own mind can't be a good partner (sometimes)... -
Hoho! Stumbled upon the truest of all truest statements! Thumbs up!Originally posted by blu_sky:Mere attraction cannot make a relationship last
+1! -
True.Originally posted by dokono:Mere attraction cannot make a relationship last. But it needs to occur first.Originally posted by dokono:
Well said.
Nothing lasts forever. I liken signature about love. Both parties need to put a lot of effort to maintain this relationship. It's a two-way thing. Not the guy giving in too much nor the girl too. Respect, trust and understanding for each other is essential. If one party breaks the trust, the relationship loses it's strength.
If the guy treats the girl well and respects her without being a doormat, I don't see why the girl should treat him back the same way unless she has an attitude problem.
That's why I never feel that a breakup is as simple as incompatibility. I view it as an excuse. With regards to your elements such as goals, objectives, character and personality issues, I feel that everyone is an individual and has different thinking. It's about compromising with one another, coupled with how much love both parties have for each other. Respect and support is essential. That is really love, not attraction.
doko
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Originally posted by Squiggly:I don't think it's about like or don't like...
For me... I just had to walk away from a man who didn't know how to love others....
He is;
- Compulsive gambler
- Insecure
- Unfaithful
- Jobless
- Selfish
He talks about marriage and all, but I really doubt if he really understands what love is in the first place. The only person he loves is himself...
And so... I left... after 3 years, and he never changed.
Hmmm? For me, it would be:Originally posted by shinta:insecure
unstable career
heck care me (i'm like a deco on his bed when i go over to his place... i sit on his bed reading my stuff.. he chiong game)
hmm what else ar?
lazier than me
1) Unfaithfulness (always ranks the top of my list)
2) Does not keep to his words - dun do what he promised be it big or little
3) Procrastinates (this and the above I've had too much of in the past)
4) Self-centeredness (hv expectations of you while the tiniest thing he does is like god-sent and thinks he's sacrificed a lot for you already; and also the very basic, considers himself first without roping you into acct)
5) Insensitivity
6) And definitely no gamblers, alcoholics for me!!!
Youdonknowme -
Care to elaborate from point 2-5?Originally posted by YouDonKnowMe:Hmmm? For me, it would be:
1) Unfaithfulness (always ranks the top of my list)
2) Does not keep to his words - dun do what he promised be it big or little
3) Procrastinates (this and the above I've had too much of in the past)
4) Self-centeredness (hv expectations of you while the tiniest thing he does is like god-sent and thinks he's sacrificed a lot for you already; and also the very basic, considers himself first without roping you into acct)
5) Insensitivity
6) And definitely no gamblers, alcoholics for me!!!
Youdonknowme
thanks
doko -
quote:
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Originally posted by YouDonKnowMe:
Hmmm? For me, it would be:
1) Unfaithfulness (always ranks the top of my list)
2) Does not keep to his words - dun do what he promised be it big or little
3) Procrastinates (this and the above I've had too much of in the past)
4) Self-centeredness (hv expectations of you while the tiniest thing he does is like god-sent and thinks he's sacrificed a lot for you already; and also the very basic, considers himself first without roping you into acct)
5) Insensitivity
6) And definitely no gamblers, alcoholics for me!!!
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mere attraction cannot make the relationship lasts!
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Agree with the above point 1 to 5. Men, when will u grow up? Yes, mere attraction cannot or does not necessarily means relationship will last! Think most of the time, in general (not referring to every female huh) females are the ones who give a lot in a relationship, while the vast majority (not referring to every male) of the males are just not. Why why!!!
Me can't stand those men who refuse to help in housework and marry the wife just to get her to do housework!!! -
Eh? Wld love to let you know more. But at this point now, I really dread to think back all the things abt my ex that piss me off & why. Hope you understand.Originally posted by dokono:Care to elaborate from point 2-5?
thanks
doko
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It's ok. Im was just thinking if you could at least explain generally.Originally posted by YouDonKnowMe:Eh? Wld love to let you know more. But at this point now, I really dread to think back all the things abt my ex that piss me off & why. Hope you understand.
doko