stale r/s
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Spicing up the r/s is dependant on both side. If only one side is making all the effort while the other side does nth, sooner or later one will burn out and things will get messy.Originally posted by WrX_STi:hey, juz wondering if you guys experience a stalemate in r/s when its becming too routine and boring after 1,2 years?
any idea(s) to spice up r/s?
You may assume that the world still continues with or without you, but you will definately shatter someone's world if you are not around. Everyone on this planet do not simply just exist here or by accident. We all have a purpose and we have a duty to make ourselves live a life, be ALIVE.Originally posted by mistyblue:i don't know but anyways, its no loss either way. Its been the same to me all my life. The world will still continue onwards whether I am around or not.
I do not know how to handle such situation if I were in your shoes, but I know that communication is a must to clarify certain issues and problems. You are married with someone, that means you trust him with your life and secrets and everything else as he trust you the same. You are no robo maid or something. You have feelings. You have joy, fear, warmth, cold, etc, etc.
A marriage is possible because both parties decided to share their lives with each other and trust each other with their lives. If you are unable to tell him your concerns or he is not listening, I have to ask: how did you came to agree to the marriage in the first place? -
They may add to complications, but on the other hand, they may save the r/s altogether.Originally posted by mistyblue:kids add to the complication. They don't solve anything.
My relationship with my father and mother in the past were rocky at best. I was so rebelious that I wanted to disown them. Yes no kidding, i wanted to leave them. After some time and communication, it did not bore fruit but the r/s is still abit sour.
Only after the appearance of my younger brother did our r/s got better. He bridged the gap. Even though it took a long time and its still repairing as of today, I am glad my brother who was not only given life, but also the joy of our family and I thank God for that. -
thanks, Merry Xmas to you too.Originally posted by Yunhaier:Merry Xmas to you.
Cheers
I rather not talk. its taken as complains. He's always in some mood and I am not to add to his unhappiness or destroy his happiness. He's stayed 30 years with his mother and his family. He's happier with his nieces and nephews. He had been married to his family. I am just a maid to the household, and maids can be changed especially when after I've helped him achieve his car, house and other babe magnets. Family to him stay together forever. Its only inevitable, I am just waiting for something. -
Thanks.. life is not so easy and can be solved with just having a kid.Originally posted by Bontakun:.
He's got his nieces and nephews over everyday to fill his time and days. He's in financial deep sh!t so kids would just add to the burden. Besides, his mom commented that he might actually love hie nieces and nephews more than his own kids. I do not doubt that. So why would I want to add burden to myself?
Anyways, glad that your situation is solved and family is stable and good. Starting a family is not easy. It becomes complicated when there are additional factors such as Parent in laws who demand respect yet fib their mouths and make all sorts of comments, Brother/sister-in-laws and their kids come over everyday treating the place like a hotel and taking me for a maid. I am not a strong healthy person and lately its taking a toll. So when i keep stretching myself to just keep the house clean - takes 8 hours if you want to know. It really amplifies the aging process. -
I can resonate with that... My mum too is now feeling the strains... I wished I knew what to do but... I am lost in this part...Originally posted by mistyblue:Thanks.. life is not so easy and can be solved with just having a kid.
He's got his nieces and nephews over everyday to fill his time and days. He's in financial deep sh!t so kids would just add to the burden. Besides, his mom commented that he might actually love hie nieces and nephews more than his own kids. I do not doubt that. So why would I want to add burden to myself?
Anyways, glad that your situation is solved and family is stable and good. Starting a family is not easy. It becomes complicated when there are additional factors such as Parent in laws who demand respect yet fib their mouths and make all sorts of comments, Brother/sister-in-laws and their kids come over everyday treating the place like a hotel and taking me for a maid. I am not a strong healthy person and lately its taking a toll. So when i keep stretching myself to just keep the house clean - takes 8 hours if you want to know. It really amplifies the aging process. -
Originally posted by mistyblue:thanks, Merry Xmas to you too.
I rather not talk. its taken as complains. He's always in some mood and I am not to add to his unhappiness or destroy his happiness. He's stayed 30 years with his mother and his family. He's happier with his nieces and nephews. He had been married to his family. I am just a maid to the household, and maids can be changed especially when after I've helped him achieve his car, house and other babe magnets. Family to him stay together forever. Its only inevitable, I am just waiting for something.
Very self depressing thoughts.
Have you ever spoken to him with regards to this matter? Or is it merely a resigned-to-fate perception that nothing will change?
Is he the sort of man you knew before marriage? Or has things changed drastically after marriage?
Cheers -
Waiting for something? Please to not wait. Do something.Originally posted by mistyblue:thanks, Merry Xmas to you too.
I rather not talk. its taken as complains. He's always in some mood and I am not to add to his unhappiness or destroy his happiness. He's stayed 30 years with his mother and his family. He's happier with his nieces and nephews. He had been married to his family. I am just a maid to the household, and maids can be changed especially when after I've helped him achieve his car, house and other babe magnets. Family to him stay together forever. Its only inevitable, I am just waiting for something. -
sex
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Don't push it too hard on yourself... It's your husband's debts and life goes on..Originally posted by mistyblue:i have reached the next level. Its wash the toilet, mop the floor, cook and clean for the family, endless bills to pay even though I paid half of all wedding expense but my husband's debts piled up and I am now helping him pay for his half of the wedding.
Its bleak. Its depressing. Makes me suicidal.
How is your husband treating you now by the way?