should I believe or not believe her words?

• m_lancer

  26 Dec 06, 11:30

  Me and my ex broke up 2months ago.. till now I m still unable to forget about her.. when she broke up with me.. she told me that she wants to focus on her studies.. she told me we could still be friends...
  
  But we never spoke to each other ever since....
  
  Clinging on to my hope that one day we could be back together.. Till one day which is a month later after we broke up, I discovered she was attached already... I almost went crazy... coz I still remembered the reason we broke up...
  
  Yesterday being christmas.. I msged her a christmas msg.. She replied me.. 'Thanks and merry christmas to me.. and saying that the other guy (I think it's only right for me not to mention his name.. though I dun like that person that much) says hi to me'... At that moment.. I was feeling kind of angry as well as upset.. thinking that is it purposely trying to make me know that she is with him... I have met up with this guy b4 when me and my ex were still together.. He was her best friend... and she told me b4 there wont be a possibilty of them being together..
  
  I'm feeling kind of lost and upset... wonder if she really meant what she said when she told me that the breakup was due to her studies or was is becoz there was another guy in her heart... Just one month since we broke up and she is already attached... that's why I do not know whether I should believe or not believe wat she told me b4....
  
  
• dokono

  26 Dec 06, 11:42

  Is this the same girl you are going out with?
  
  Read the story of pierre.
  
  http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=227442
  
  doko
• Bontakun

  26 Dec 06, 11:46

  I think the point of you believing whats her true reason for the break up is not as important as how are you going to get past this period. Can you do it?
• red_amoeba

  26 Dec 06, 11:54

  concentrate on studies, or any other reaons are just reasons to be used for breaking up. perhaps to her, telling you otherwise (other than she's with another guy) will make it more palatable for you.
  
  I have been through such cases before, the gal told me she broke off because of religion (we're different religion) but in less than half a year, she's getting married to another guy.
  
  I am trying to highlight the fact that it doesn't matter what reasons or excuse she used previously, the fact remained that both of you are not together anymore. Hence, the main thing is to forget her and move on.
  
  I would suggest break off all contact, since both of you are not together, you can lead individual seperate life. By not contacting, you will not be reminded of her & things associated with her. time will heal.
• Aaron8105

  26 Dec 06, 11:56

  yucks all gals like tat.....now i start to hate gals man
• Bontakun

  26 Dec 06, 11:58

  Originally posted by Aaron8105:

  yucks all gals like tat.....now i start to hate gals man

  
• dokono

  26 Dec 06, 11:58

  Are guys going out with the same girl but just different variation?
  
  doko
• m_lancer

  26 Dec 06, 12:02

  I have already deleted her contacts and everything.. ytd msg was just to wish her.. yet.. she mentioned abt the other guy...Which I find the most hurtful part is... I do not wish to know who she is with.. and somemore that person I have been disliking for very long already... yet.. I got such a reply from her...
  
• m_lancer

  26 Dec 06, 12:07

  Doko.. both of us is with different girls...
  But I've read his story.. both of us almost in the same situation...
• dokono

  26 Dec 06, 12:10

  Originally posted by m_lancer:

  Doko.. both of us is with different girls...
  But I've read his story.. both of us almost in the same situation...

  of course different girls.
  
  but do you notice the pattern?
  
  doko
• choco B

  26 Dec 06, 12:12

  Does it matter? Over liao let it go
  

  Originally posted by m_lancer:

  I'm feeling kind of lost and upset... wonder if she really meant what she said when she told me that the breakup was due to her studies or was is becoz there was another guy in her heart... Just one month since we broke up and she is already attached... that's why I do not know whether I should believe or not believe wat she told me b4....
  
  

  You're being over-sensitive
  

  Originally posted by m_lancer:

  I have already deleted her contacts and everything.. ytd msg was just to wish her.. yet.. she mentioned abt the other guy...Which I find the most hurtful part is... I do not wish to know who she is with.. and somemore that person I have been disliking for very long already... yet.. I got such a reply from her...
  

• blu_sky

  26 Dec 06, 12:14

  Originally posted by m_lancer:

  Me and my ex broke up 2months ago.. till now I m still unable to forget about her.. when she broke up with me.. she told me that she wants to focus on her studies.. she told me we could still be friends...
  
  But we never spoke to each other ever since....
  
  Clinging on to my hope that one day we could be back together.. Till one day which is a month later after we broke up, I discovered she was attached already... I almost went crazy... coz I still remembered the reason we broke up...
  
  Yesterday being christmas.. I msged her a christmas msg.. She replied me.. 'Thanks and merry christmas to me.. and saying that the other guy (I think it's only right for me not to mention his name.. though I dun like that person that much) says hi to me'... At that moment.. I was feeling kind of angry as well as upset.. thinking that is it purposely trying to make me know that she is with him... I have met up with this guy b4 when me and my ex were still together.. He was her best friend... and she told me b4 there wont be a possibilty of them being together..
  
  I'm feeling kind of lost and upset... wonder if she really meant what she said when she told me that the breakup was due to her studies or was is becoz there was another guy in her heart... Just one month since we broke up and she is already attached... that's why I do not know whether I should believe or not believe wat she told me b4....
  
  

  She can give you such contradiction, do you think she care if you believe her words?
• dokono

  26 Dec 06, 12:23

  Originally posted by m_lancer:

  I have already deleted her contacts and everything.. ytd msg was just to wish her.. yet.. she mentioned abt the other guy...Which I find the most hurtful part is... I do not wish to know who she is with.. and somemore that person I have been disliking for very long already... yet.. I got such a reply from her...
  

  You could have replied that your gf also say Hi to her.
  
  doko
• m_lancer

  26 Dec 06, 12:25

  yup.. noticed the pattern.. anyway.. I've tried to get over her... but just don't know why the impact of the msg ytd made me felt upset again... ya.. I understand time will heal... am also waiting for time to pass...
• blu_sky

  26 Dec 06, 12:27

  Originally posted by m_lancer:

  yup.. noticed the pattern.. anyway.. I've tried to get over her... but just don't know why the impact of the msg ytd made me felt upset again... ya.. I understand time will heal... am also waiting for time to pass...

  Time will come and pass. Your wounds will be healed if you allow it to.
  
  All the best, dude.
• m_lancer

  26 Dec 06, 12:30

  haha... thanks doko.. but I guess it's not very nice to do so.. bcoz I know very well that I do not have a gf.. and there is no point doing so.. even if I did... will she feel anything?
  even if I made her jealous during that time... will it be forever kind of jealousy? or just for that moment?
  Therefore.. no point saying back those angry words at her... when I know that it's not true and that it wont make any much difference..
  
  Thanks blu_sky... I m looking forward for time to heal...
  All the best to you dude...
• M©+square

  26 Dec 06, 12:35

  Originally posted by m_lancer:

  yup.. noticed the pattern.. anyway.. I've tried to get over her... but just don't know why the impact of the msg ytd made me felt upset again... ya.. I understand time will heal... am also waiting for time to pass...

  Because you trusted her words. And you felt cheated when you learnt that the reason for break up may not be her studies at all.
  
  That is the main problem. You felt lied at because you realise she wasn't truthful when you give her whatever she wanted, because you felt that it is good for her.
  
  ::: you're played out.
  If need be, just ask her out and tell you the real reason for the break-up and seek closure.
  
  Cheers
  
• blu_sky

  26 Dec 06, 13:00

  Originally posted by M©+square:

  Because you trusted her words. And you felt cheated when you learnt that the reason for break up may not be her studies at all.
  
  That is the main problem. You felt lied at because you realise she wasn't truthful when you give her whatever she wanted, because you felt that it is good for her.
  
  ::: you're played out.
  If need be, just ask her out and tell you the real reason for the break-up and seek closure.
  
  Cheers
  

  Closure is good, if one is given.
  
  But if she had chosen the easy way out, why will she tell the hard truth now?
• m_lancer

  26 Dec 06, 13:03

  M©+square u exactly said out how I felt.. but I think I will still let time heal... no point meeting up with her since I already know she is attached and doing well.. Don't want her to feel what I'm feeling now... One suffer or rather having this mixed feeling is enough... I guess reasoning or not is not important anymore..
• M©+square

  26 Dec 06, 13:04

  Originally posted by blu_sky:

  Closure is good, if one is given.
  
  But if she had chosen the easy way out, why will she tell the hard truth now?

  He have a choice to ask for the truth.
  
  She didn't dare/want to tell him the truth, could be because she's afraid he'll do something stupid and make her look bad.
• Cool-gal

  26 Dec 06, 13:11

  stil.. never to trust ur gf/bf truly n fully. reason is, there is a possibility tat they will lie. no one is perfect or saint. of coz i do not encourage suspicious questioning but when it comes to r/s, better not to believe wholly. take it easy.
  some gals sucks to the core, same to the guys.
  so, just let this be a lessson learnt lor??
  cheers
• Bontakun

  26 Dec 06, 13:14

  Originally posted by Cool-gal:

  stil.. never to trust ur gf/bf truly n fully. reason is, there is a possibility tat they will lie. no one is perfect or saint. of coz i do not encourage suspicious questioning but when it comes to r/s, better not to believe wholly. take it easy.
  some gals sucks to the core, same to the guys.
  so, just let this be a lessson learnt lor??
  cheers

  Eh.... why I think da other wae har...?
  
  Trust is paramount to any r/s among anybody. it is also the same fundamental value that builds up any r/s Without trust, many problems will surface and situation may worsen.
  
  To not trust fully is understandable, but isn't that being too hard on you and too cruel to the other person?
• Heartzzz

  26 Dec 06, 13:19

  Originally posted by m_lancer:

  M©+square u exactly said out how I felt.. but I think I will still let time heal... no point meeting up with her since I already know she is attached and doing well.. Don't want her to feel what I'm feeling now... One suffer or rather having this mixed feeling is enough... I guess reasoning or not is not important anymore..

  Ha..If u think reasoning is not impt anymore, y in the 1st place will u come here n post ur thread? I guess deep down inside, u wan an answer from her. But i guess the problem is, she will never tell u the answer or truth anymore. She wants u out of her life so bad. It hurts but I went thr something like that b4...
• BrUtUs

  26 Dec 06, 13:22

  its the usual reason for breakups... jz get over it n go fishing...
• smudgey

  26 Dec 06, 14:45

  I agree with Bontaku.
  
  the reason now is not important.
  
  what is important is.... she has moved on.... it's time you do the same.