why modern guys seems so insecure??
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Well, it would now appear that most guys are not as insensitive as they are given credit for, no?Originally posted by iceFatboy:I am not generalising but on the whole, it seems that guys are lacking the social skills in knowing how to chat with a lady, how to be a gentleman, and how to end a relationship.
Yes, these are things that are not learned from books or from a soulmate but hey, if the gal can end it so professionally, surely, a guy can do that too.
Really, after reading most of the posts, guys seems most brittle when it comes to R/S.
I wouldn't agree with your second statement too much though: There are some gentlemanly guys you know. And fyi, there aren't too many lady-like women too. I do not wish to start an argument about gender, nor do I wish to be on the receiving end of endless brickbats from the opposite sex. Just clarifying that in this day and age, not many people retain acts of chivalry or social graces.
Unfortunately, as much as it is not your intention to do so, nor would not like to be seen as doing so, you are indeed generalizing with your post, you know. Ending a relationship 'professionally' is subjective: how professional is professional? What seems professional to one party might not seem like it to another.
And also, people are prone to being brittle when it comes to relationship. Regardless of gender.
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That's why Confucius said,
"wei nu zi yu xiao ren jie nan yang ye, yuan ze yuan, jing ze bu xun"
If you keep a distance from your woman, she complains. If you are too close with her, she takes you for granted.
Commit too much into a relationship, people will say you are not mature if you find it difficult to get over it when it ends. Adopt a laissez-faire approach, and people will say you have no sincerity.
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when a girl likes you, she will want to talk to you. a lot. which is why the silent treatment should be taken seriously, and not as a bonus.Originally posted by xShevchenkox:ya lo...gals de problem always are very small de, most l shld say...my ex oso everyting oso want say to me...like wad happened in her sch and her happenings...Summore all those things are small small issues leh..sumtime l listen liao..l oso dun noe wad to say bk
anyway, i think that if one is in love, one will be vulnerable. it's in the manual. feeling insecure when a rs is rocky is kinda like a second nature, and comes to both women and men. -
1) 80% also shows that guys here are more serious abt a r/s n is nt a player.Originally posted by iceFatboy:I would gather 80% of topics here would be guys who after a breakup seems to be clinging on...
the general feel is that Modern guys are either insecure or imature to deal with relationship.
yes, mentally, gals do mature faster (in fact, 2 yrs) but it seems that modern guys fare much worse than this mental gap.
I am not generalising but on the whole, it seems that guys are lacking the social skills in knowing how to chat with a lady, how to be a gentleman, and how to end a relationship.
Yes, these are things that are not learned from books or from a soulmate but hey, if the gal can end it so professionally, surely, a guy can do that too.
Really, after reading most of the posts, guys seems most brittle when it comes to R/S.
2)The general also feels that guys out there are still the jerk. (izzit cuz they know how to play ard n do breaking up?)
Really, after reading your post , u seems nt to think about these pts and u just blah what u think. think again. -
Those still clinging on is called inmature or insecure while those who can cling off is call playboy or flirt. Hmm this is really a serious problem to look into.Originally posted by iceFatboy:I would gather 80% of topics here would be guys who after a breakup seems to be clinging on...
the general feel is that Modern guys are either insecure or imature to deal with relationship.
yes, mentally, gals do mature faster (in fact, 2 yrs) but it seems that modern guys fare much worse than this mental gap.
I am not generalising but on the whole, it seems that guys are lacking the social skills in knowing how to chat with a lady, how to be a gentleman, and how to end a relationship.
Yes, these are things that are not learned from books or from a soulmate but hey, if the gal can end it so professionally, surely, a guy can do that too.
Really, after reading most of the posts, guys seems most brittle when it comes to R/S.
Anyway i would prefer you to use the word "Some". -
Originally posted by iceFatboy:
I love English.
I would gather 80% of topics here would be guys who after a breakup seems to be clinging on...
the general feel is that Modern guys are either insecure or imature to deal with relationship.
yes, mentally, gals do mature faster (in fact, 2 yrs) but it seems that modern guys fare much worse than this mental gap.
I am not generalising but on the whole, it seems that guys are lacking the social skills in knowing how to chat with a lady, how to be a gentleman, and how to end a relationship.
Yes, these are things that are not learned from books or from a soulmate but hey, if the gal can end it so professionally, surely, a guy can do that too.
Really, after reading most of the posts, guys seems most brittle when it comes to R/S. -
get to know more people, and you may find that there are as many sociable gentlemen who knows to let go of a relationship when they should, as there are not.
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I feel people who are mature in relationships should treat love as something that is simple and enjoy the moment. Don't expect too much from one another. Don't expect too much from friends or from your partners. Treat them well but don't expect too much in return.
Love is really simple. Don't think too much or become over-obsessed.
doko -
i had jus realized this sentence.Originally posted by dokono:I feel people who are mature in relationships should treat love as something that is simple and enjoy the moment. Don't expect too much from one another. Don't expect too much from friends or from your partners. Treat them well but don't expect too much in return.
Love is really simple. Don't think too much or become over-obsessed.
doko -
hmm dokono...l learnt sumtinz meaningful again from u =)Originally posted by dokono:I feel people who are mature in relationships should treat love as something that is simple and enjoy the moment. Don't expect too much from one another. Don't expect too much from friends or from your partners. Treat them well but don't expect too much in return.
Love is really simple. Don't think too much or become over-obsessed.
doko -
As I post Im also speaking to myself. What I post has been posted many times before by other people, just in different words.Originally posted by xShevchenkox:hmm dokono...l learnt sumtinz meaningful again from u =)
Love is really not complicated. How did our parents give birth to us? There must be some form of love between them. It's just automatic.
Love is really simple.
doko -
the most natural way..Originally posted by dokono:As I post Im also speaking to myself. What I post has been posted many times before by other people, just in different words.
Love is really not complicated. How did our parents give birth to us? There must be some form of love between them. It's just automatic.
Love is really simple.
doko -
That's right.Originally posted by FBI:the most natural way..
doko -
Methinks it's because guys are confused with the current expectations of them.
Men are most confident when given full respect carrying out their traditional gender roles as "the man of the household" - the breadwinners. But women have blurred the lines... we now want careers, sometimes take feminism abit too far (like getting offended at men who open doors for us, expect men to share domestic chores, . This means men are forced to come out of their "safe zones" .. and this safe zone is something they've grown accustommed to over hundreds of years.
Women wanting rights isn't a bad thing, but we've gotta be fair to the guys too.. not just take swift advantage of our newly-recovered rights like a gloating, big-headed child prefect - the bar has been raised suddenly, and most men are left confused and angry. Guys just no longer get the same respect from women for carrying out their traditional roles, it's confusing for them, and it's a big blow to their manly ego - It's like 'Hey, I was happy with the old roles.. it was working fine before, I was doing very well before u started getting all these ideas... so why change? I'm not too sure about this arrangement and I don't know what I'm doing wrong... '
Some guys I've spoken with also seem to think NS is one of the contributing factors to why guys have fallen behind (socially). "Eh.... 2 years away of NS is no joke," a male colleague of mine raved, "Most guys come out of camp a different person. Just imagine lah, everyday in an all-male camp..unless you very lucky kena post to , where got time for social life.. then army pay like f***.. somemore come out from camp must spend time re-adjust to "normal" life. Girls no need. You say leh?" -
clinging on? Isn't it good that the guys are treating the relationship seriously? They're putting so much in it.
I agree...those that doesn't 'cling on' are probably playboys. Want steady go steady, want break go break. -
There is a difference between clinging on and knowing when a situation is not salvageable. Which is why before going into one, both side must consider very carefully if the 2 are going to be able to share their lives together and not just simply "I date you, you date me just because we have feelings for each other".Originally posted by mahawarrior:clinging on? Isn't it good that the guys are treating the relationship seriously? They're putting so much in it.
I agree...those that doesn't 'cling on' are probably playboys. Want steady go steady, want break go break. -
Oh my god...an intelligent post in Aunt Agony? Presposterous! But I do agree with the topic started on the whole.
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Ban these type of topics la
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Why?Originally posted by mamamamama:Ban these type of topics la -
Well, I think frankly its all in the male ego thing lah. Physically we guys are strong...but emotionally. Ha, we aren't tt capable inside. I mean when I broke up, other then coming here to pour my sorrows, I also turned to my female friends. feel that females are much much much more stronger then us guys emotionally, and when why do we fall in love? Other then the thought of getting laid, its coz we feel that we feel that we've found someone of whom we can make an emotional connection with. So yeah...
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"why are women so materialistic?", "why are all guys so pervert?", "why are all christians bla bla bla"Originally posted by Bontakun:Why?
u see the similarity in topics like these?
generalisation.
topics like these will lead to endless and endless of heated discussions.
at the end of the day, the most you'll get is a +1 to your post count. -
only sg men. because they are so dumb and suckers for women.
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like uOriginally posted by digicharat:only sg men. because they are so dumb and suckers for women. -
Hmm. Think there was a topic quite similar to this quite some time back?Originally posted by iceFatboy:I would gather 80% of topics here would be guys who after a breakup seems to be clinging on...
the general feel is that Modern guys are either insecure or imature to deal with relationship.
yes, mentally, gals do mature faster (in fact, 2 yrs) but it seems that modern guys fare much worse than this mental gap.
I am not generalising but on the whole, it seems that guys are lacking the social skills in knowing how to chat with a lady, how to be a gentleman, and how to end a relationship.
Yes, these are things that are not learned from books or from a soulmate but hey, if the gal can end it so professionally, surely, a guy can do that too.
Really, after reading most of the posts, guys seems most brittle when it comes to R/S. -
By your definition, I'm 'most likely' to be a playboy...?Originally posted by FBI:those who doens't cling on are mostly playboys