Trust

• Capricieux

  30 Dec 06, 03:22

  People~
  
  In a friendship, what if the very basic level of trust has dissolved?
  
  Is there any way to save this relationship or is it completely doomed?
• hatemeifuwantto

  30 Dec 06, 03:29

  it might be save..but depends on the scenario..so wassup?
• mcfadden

  30 Dec 06, 07:50

  Let us know the full story la.
• Capricieux

  30 Dec 06, 15:01

  Is it necessary to post what has already happened and been resolved already?
  
  Just what if one day, you find that you've become sceptical of everything your friend tells you?
  
  
• browniebaobao

  30 Dec 06, 21:43

  Give chances ba..
  
  Perhaps last time I would have sever all ties with that fren, but now..
  
  if that fren feels guilty, I choose to forgive and trust one more time..
  
  Whatever happened has happened.. you can't change it..
  
  since it has already past, then look ahead and move on lor.
• mhcampboy

  30 Dec 06, 21:50

  Distrust between friendships should be ended. No point being friends anymore. Betrayal by friends is much more hurtful in sense of pride and social status.
  
  Its different from having a gf/bf. They betray you they come and they go. But your friend remains. You having problems, your friend remains.
  
  Friendship should be held sacred. The bond is the spirit. The trust is the sacrifice. Bad sacrifice must be thrown away and never be served.
  
  If you cannot trust a friend anymore, no point being together. Trust me on this.
• buses_galore

  30 Dec 06, 22:00

  I think it is hard to salvage
• lonestar86

  30 Dec 06, 22:00

  BEWARE!!
  Human cannot be trusted!!
  
• username0

  31 Dec 06, 11:15

  what if u know a person who keep lying to get into your good books? he fervently support one set of beliefs (not religion!) in front of you and then u find out he totally follow another set of beliefs in his private life? (just for eg. he says he loves to play pool and play pool every other day. then u found out hardly touch pool at all one. OR he say he is a huge fan of computer game X but u found out he dun even have the game installed at home etc)
  
  a bit too fake for me but i can't really confront people abt this without turning ugly.
• Devil1976

  1 Jan 07, 22:57

  Originally posted by Capricieux:

  Is it necessary to post what has already happened and been resolved already?
  
  Just what if one day, you find that you've become sceptical of everything your friend tells you?
  
  

  So what has been 'resolved' already?
• xShevchenkox

  1 Jan 07, 23:20

  Originally posted by browniebaobao:

  Give chances ba..
  
  Perhaps last time I would have sever all ties with that fren, but now..
  
  if that fren feels guilty, I choose to forgive and trust one more time..
  
  Whatever happened has happened.. you can't change it..
  
  since it has already past, then look ahead and move on lor.

  bbb..u are like 1 of my guy frenz
  
  l tink it is very impt to give chances to ppl..seriously..rather than giving cold shoulders to ur frenz who have done sumtinz wrong...
  
  Givin ppl a chance is impt if the person has feel remorse or regretted over his/ her actions .. if he change and become better..it is really worth givin the person a chance..
  
  Unless he commit his/her mistakes again and again..l tink this kind suan le bah
  
  
• BrUtUs

  1 Jan 07, 23:54

  Originally posted by Capricieux:

  People~
  
  In a friendship, what if the very basic level of trust has dissolved?
  
  Is there any way to save this relationship or is it completely doomed?

  depends la... it might still heal but it all builds up... but if u still can return to normal better to stay away...
• browniebaobao

  2 Jan 07, 00:20

  Originally posted by xShevchenkox:

  bbb..u are like 1 of my guy frenz
  
  l tink it is very impt to give chances to ppl..seriously..rather than giving cold shoulders to ur frenz who have done sumtinz wrong...
  
  Givin ppl a chance is impt if the person has feel remorse or regretted over his/ her actions .. if he change and become better..it is really worth givin the person a chance..
  
  Unless he commit his/her mistakes again and again..l tink this kind suan le bah
  
  

  i give chance also becoz i known her for 14 years liao..
  
  we have been thru a lot..
  
  and we shared dreams, and have a picture of each other in our future..
  
  perhaps as one gets older, u will realize that few things really matter.
  
• felirox

  2 Jan 07, 00:20

  Just try to make up things by helping her in anyway?
• Capricieux

  2 Jan 07, 01:43

  Originally posted by username0:

  what if u know a person who keep lying to get into your good books? he fervently support one set of beliefs (not religion!) in front of you and then u find out he totally follow another set of beliefs in his private life? (just for eg. he says he loves to play pool and play pool every other day. then u found out hardly touch pool at all one. OR he say he is a huge fan of computer game X but u found out he dun even have the game installed at home etc)
  
  a bit too fake for me but i can't really confront people abt this without turning ugly.

  Smells like lack of self-confidence to me.
• NotFromVenus

  2 Jan 07, 01:50

  Originally posted by xShevchenkox:

  bbb..u are like 1 of my guy frenz
  
  l tink it is very impt to give chances to ppl..seriously..rather than giving cold shoulders to ur frenz who have done sumtinz wrong...
  
  Givin ppl a chance is impt if the person has feel remorse or regretted over his/ her actions .. if he change and become better..it is really worth givin the person a chance..
  
  Unless he commit his/her mistakes again and again..l tink this kind suan le bah
  
  

  Sometimes people indulge in their own self glorification and forgotten their own betrayal of integrity.
  
  
• Capricieux

  2 Jan 07, 01:51

  Originally posted by Devil1976:

  So what has been 'resolved' already?

  My friend and I had a minor argument. From there I finally realised ever since a few months ago a very very big crack has appeared in this friendship of ours. I don't want to go into details.
  
  When the right time comes - hopefully soon- I hope to be able to have a good talk with her about this. The talk will most probably turn ugly, but will either make it or break it. No point dragging on... like how bad skin is still ugly no matter how much concealer you pile onto it.
  
  Thank you for all your views!
  
  Well let's keep the discussion going, shall we?
• Capricieux

  2 Jan 07, 01:57

  Originally posted by NotFromVenus:

  Sometimes people indulge in their own self glorification and forgotten their own betrayal of integrity.
  
  

  Huh?
  
  Care to elaborate?
• NotFromVenus

  2 Jan 07, 02:02

  Originally posted by Capricieux:

  Huh?
  
  Care to elaborate?

  Click Here.[/url]
• (human)

  2 Jan 07, 02:10

  It is more shameful to distrust our friends than to be deceived by them.
• Capricieux

  2 Jan 07, 02:24

  Originally posted by (human):

  It is more shameful to distrust our friends than to be deceived by them.

  So when you know someone is obviously lying to you and misleading you in all sorts of ways, you will still carry on the relationship?
• (human)

  2 Jan 07, 02:26

  Originally posted by Capricieux:

  So when you know someone is obviously lying to you and misleading you in all sorts of ways, you will still carry on the relationship?

  Do not judge your friend until you stand in his place
• NotFromVenus

  2 Jan 07, 02:28

  Originally posted by Capricieux:

  So when you know someone is obviously lying to you and misleading you in all sorts of ways, you will still carry on the relationship?

  There are people who live in relationships whereby trust is compromised. They are usually paid very highly. Usually they like to keep their family members out of this zone or amongst this relationships.
  
  "Friendship" hence comes with a price.
  
  
• (human)

  2 Jan 07, 02:33

  You have to know who's friend and who's not. Friends help; others pity
• Capricieux

  2 Jan 07, 02:53

  Originally posted by (human):

  Do not judge your friend until you stand in his place

  Ok... but you should not generalise all cases of mistrust until you stand in the victim's place.
  
  I mean, come on, sometimes it's blatant deception.
  
  Maybe what's in your mind are white lies?
  
  But I still think between close friends there shouldn't be any lies. It's very tiresome to elaborate and go into the different kinds of lies people tell so I'm not going to do that.