I don't understand
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IÂ’ve just called my wife on the phone and asked her the question. Well she said if I were the one who is pregnant she would save me. Her answer doesnÂ’t make sense at all.
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DefinitelyOriginally posted by Devil1976:It's a piece of their own flesh... Almost like their husband.. And most of the time, a better version of 'him'...
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Well, thats your wifeOriginally posted by DeadPoet:IÂ’ve just called my wife on the phone and asked her the question. Well she said if I were the one who is pregnant she would save me. Her answer doesnÂ’t make sense at all. 
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I know.Originally posted by blu_sky:Well, thats your wife
We've been together for more than 12 years and but I guess there are still many things I don't know about her.
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Originally posted by DeadPoet:IÂ’ve just called my wife on the phone and asked her the question. Well she said if I were the one who is pregnant she would save me. Her answer doesnÂ’t make sense at all.
couldn't wait for tonight? -
wow 12 years and dun have kids yet?Originally posted by DeadPoet:I know.
We've been together for more than 12 years and but I guess there are still many things I don't know about her.
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ok, so is your wife pregnant now?Originally posted by DeadPoet:My wife and I are very comfortable discussing topics like what kind of funeral we will like to have when the time comes, if we should remarry when one of us passed away, etc.
A few days ago we touched on the topic of death during pregnancy. I told her that should things go wrong and the doctor could only saved one person, he must save her and not the baby. However she insisted that I must choose the baby. I donÂ’t understand, I told her I love her and we can always try again for another baby or even adopt one. But she disagreed and wanted me to promise her that I must save the baby instead of her.
I am really confused. She tells me it is because she loves me, but if she loves me why does she chooses death?
doko -
Together for 12 years doesnt mean married for 12 years leh... anyway i dun think time should be a determinant factor of wanting kids. rather, readiness and keen for the lifetime commitment should be.Originally posted by rainee:wow 12 years and dun have kids yet? -
Originally posted by hisoka:
couldn't wait for tonight?
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No $$$.Originally posted by rainee:wow 12 years and dun have kids yet? -
Er nope but hopefully this year.Originally posted by dokono:ok, so is your wife pregnant now?
doko -
Actually I know her for more than 12 years, she was my pen-pal.Originally posted by blu_sky:Together for 12 years doesnt mean married for 12 years leh... anyway i dun think time should be a determinant factor of wanting kids. rather, readiness and keen for the lifetime commitment should be.
In term of marriage only for 9 years. -
yea la i understand that, just that if they are already married for 12 years really surprised how they can keep it this way...must teach me wat kinda prevention method they usedOriginally posted by blu_sky:Together for 12 years doesnt mean married for 12 years leh... anyway i dun think time should be a determinant factor of wanting kids. rather, readiness and keen for the lifetime commitment should be. -
LOL! Dun forget to share the info!Originally posted by rainee:yea la i understand that, just that if they are already married for 12 years really surprised how they can keep it this way...must teach me wat kinda prevention method they used -
Must buy me coffee first!Originally posted by blu_sky:LOL! Dun forget to share the info! -
Often the case for many couples..Originally posted by DeadPoet:What if what I want is not what she want? -
Originally posted by DeadPoet:Don't laugh too early okay.
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Originally posted by DeadPoet:IÂ’ve just called my wife on the phone and asked her the question. Well she said if I were the one who is pregnant she would save me. Her answer doesnÂ’t make sense at all.
That's because human generally don't like to be the pivoting point for decision? Especially difficult decision? Because the guilt will likely to reach and haunt her forever?
You see if your wife HAS to be the choice between herself and the child, the decision is MADE between her life and the child's life. If she decides to preserve her own life, it means her choice is to SACRIFICE her child to keep hers. She won't be able to take the consequence of such a decision and would rather chose to sacrifice herself. This defies logics. This is emotional decision-making (or Emotions > Logics ).
As from your point of view, you are weighing between a wife or a child. And obviously, you would save your wife because you made your marriage vow to your wife, not your child. She will be the only person who will walk through your life with you, not your children. This is logical. This is rational decision making. (or Logics > Emotions)
I give you a simple illustration:
Say if your wife is terminally ill and wouldn't have much time left. One day, came a drunken yunhaier with a gun, pointing menacingly at the defenceless two of you.
Then I decide to play a ridiculous game.
'Only one of you is allowed to leave here alive.'
If I leave it to the both of you, chances are, your wife will come forth (despite your resistance) and allow herself to be killed because after all, she don't have much time left. (Rational decision making)
BUT
If I personally ask you to make the decision, would you allow your wife to be shot, even if she doesn't have much time left? (Emotional decision making)
P.S: Nobody likes to make difficult decision.
Cheers -
Thanks Yunhaier, it is beginning to make sense now.Originally posted by Yunhaier:As from your point of view, you are weighing between a wife or a child. And obviously, you would save your wife because you made your marriage vow to your wife, not your child. She will be the only person who will walk through your life with you, not your children. This is rational decision making.
But this part I still donÂ’t quite understand, how come this is not emotional decision-making? -
Originally posted by DeadPoet:Thanks Yunhaier, it is beginning to make sense now.
But this part I still donÂ’t quite understand, how come this is not emotional decision-making? Because the calculation is rather 'logical'?
Do not be confused over my classification - they are just words. It doesn't mean that making a rational decision doesn't involve any mote of emotions - I am just showing you which scenario has stronger impact when placed in different position.
P.S: According to theory of EQ and Emotional Marketing - it was believed that all decisions are made primarily from emotions and there is no such thing as a 'rational decision' because we first justify our decision emotionally before making it our decision psychologically.
We have to convince our heart first, before our mind can follow suit.
Cheers -
Okay I think I get your point. Thanks again.Originally posted by Yunhaier:Do not be confused over my classification - they are just words. It doesn't mean that making a rational decision doesn't involve any mote of emotions - I am just showing you which scenario has stronger impact when placed in different position. -
Originally posted by DeadPoet:Okay I think I get your point. Thanks again. Save your worries for other more important things in life; I think it's slightly silly to fret over this issue.
Always learn to be appreciative of what you are given because you never know how long God will 'loan' it to you before taking it away.
I wish you well in your marriage, love and children.
Cheers -
Hmm...Originally posted by Yunhaier: Because the calculation is rather 'logical'?
Do not be confused over my classification - they are just words. It doesn't mean that making a rational decision doesn't involve any mote of emotions - I am just showing you which scenario has stronger impact when placed in different position.
P.S: According to theory of EQ and Emotional Marketing - it was believed that all decisions are made primarily from emotions and there is no such thing as a 'rational decision' because we first justify our decision emotionally before making it our decision psychologically.
We have to convince our heart first, before our mind can follow suit.
Cheers
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Hmm what? Want to share?Originally posted by Devil1976:Hmm... -
You buying coffee?Originally posted by DeadPoet:Hmm what? Want to share?