The importace of Courtship?
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if the gal is attracted to u, what will she normally do?
gals pls help to ans -
haha..Originally posted by royale9:ok.. have been loitering ard sgforums for sometime..
this issue of courtship is bothering me... actually i've some questions but i cant think of a suitable title to express my thts on this.. basically it revolves ard courtship and chasing, etc.
one question i've been wanting to ask... How Important is Courtship?
i've searched for past threads on this but haven found a satisfactory answer
recently, there is this thread on ' how to test water' and this guy was like eager to know whether this gal he is interested in is attached?.. but the moment the TS mentioned that the gal didn't want to go out with him... doko feels that he's out.. so no point chasing?
yes.. i know courtship begins with dates.. so u have to get her out 1st rite?
but .... doesn't courtship begins right at the start?.. b4 u even start dating?
if the gal likes u, she will make things easy for u.. yeah i know..
then wat if the gal is not that into u?
i know ultimately the gal's interest in u is the most impt. no way to raise it?
doko seems to feel that if the gal is not into u.. then u r out.. no point chasing..
so that means a guy shld NEVER attempt to chase a gal if she is not interested? hmm..
how do u define interested anyway? i mean where do u draw the line? as in stop chasing her completely
i'm sure there are cases where the gal is totally not into the guy, but in the end they got together after some courtship.
Aunt yun offers some brillant advices on courtship. on how one shld behave etc. but doesnt really touch on this point.
Past threads i'm always seeing doko and Aunt yun having diff perspectives and arguing.. etc
another question..
the perfect courtship
ok.. with regards to the 1st question.. we have a follow up on the perfect chase? lol
generally.. threads posted here are answered on a case to case basic..
and to tell u the truth... most of the threads here are abt broken relationships. and threads become more of a counselling thread.(nothing against that) just that wouldn't it be better to know how to handle a relationship b4 someone suffers from another broken heart?
such as ok.. this guy thinks he's into some r/s trouble and decides to seek for help here.. but in actual fact.. the relationship is already in tatters.. he has been doing too many wrongs and any amt of advices can not aid his cause since the damaged has already been done...
so the perfect courtship starts right at the start b4 u 2 are attached all the way till the both of u get married.
hmm.. might want to phase this question to.. the proper behavior of a guy??
see.. i cant seem to think of the most ideal question to express my thoughts.. lol
Aunt yun.. kindly advice.. saw some of your replies damn chim..don know wat CloUdiSm thing.. lol kk
Let's hear some truth on this
PS. not here to pin point on any one, or start any trouble. (doko sorry i kept mentioning your name ..lol )
I did not know I made you think so much with my posts.
pls note that me and Yun are not arguing although we disagree on certain issues. We are just having an exciting discussion.
dude, are you chasing someone now? also what are you trying to get out of this post? What are your main concerns? Courtship is not important ?
doko -
now, i don't go after girls. just wait for things to happen or let it go naturally.Originally posted by M©+square:And what have you learn from it? -
personally i don't consider courtship when in a relationship.Originally posted by royale9:yup.. when u r in a relationship.. i still consider it a courtship.. until of course u r officially married.
hmm.. wait maybe i shldn't even use the word courtship... trying to analyse the 2 articles posted by mc2...
somehow... i'm coming to a conculsion that courtship is redundant? both articles stress that we shld focus on oneself 1st.. which i totally agree with
have to continue studying those 2 articles b4 i start askin questions again
in the mean time anyone can help to enlighten
but if you do then i would say courtship is necessary. but i think the 'going after' process before getting together to be bf and gf is not necessary. -
haha, maybe you don't understand.Originally posted by Devil1976:Honestly.. I don't see where's the irony at all..?
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It depends on the clause for your 'going after'.. Some girls just love the feeling of that or believe in these, so they choose to incorporate 'courtship' into their relationship process...Originally posted by alwaysdisturbed:haha, maybe you don't understand.
Others... Which I think is likely to mean the majority...? Probably doesn't fancy you as much equally... Hence the longer you take for 'courtship' to work, it MIGHT suggest that initial 'liking' she holds for you is relatively not that high or significant... So end of the day she'll probably still be stuck with more or less of the same 'feel' while in the relationship with you, even if you manages to get her somehow...? Unless something sort of drastic happened during the courtship sotr of made her change her 'feel' of you almost totally... (Which I must say is relatively of a much lower chance of happening)..
Just like you've suggested... Courtship might not have even existed in the 1st place? If the 'bond' and 'feel' is good, do you think the other party would even as easily let go of you? (unless she has extreme inferior character) Just that sometimes some things just don't happen for no reason... That's when 'courtship' (pre-relationship) comes in in various forms... -
it depends.Originally posted by alwaysdisturbed:personally i don't consider courtship when in a relationship.
but if you do then i would say courtship is necessary. but i think the 'going after' process before getting together to be bf and gf is not necessary.
sometimes if you are lucky, the girl might chase you.
But then again, most girls have more guys chasing them than guys having girls chasing them.
doko -
Speaking from experience?Originally posted by Devil1976:It depends on the clause for your 'going after'.. Some girls just love the feeling of that or believe in these, so they choose to incorporate 'courtship' into their relationship process...
Others... Which I think is likely to mean the majority...? Probably doesn't fancy you as much equally... Hence the longer you take for 'courtship' to work, it MIGHT suggest that initial 'liking' she holds for you is relatively not that high or significant... So end of the day she'll probably still be stuck with more or less of the same 'feel' while in the relationship with you, even if you manages to get her somehow...? Unless something sort of drastic happened during the courtship sotr of made her change her 'feel' of you almost totally... (Which I must say is relatively of a much lower chance of happening)..
Just like you've suggested... Courtship might not have even existed in the 1st place? If the 'bond' and 'feel' is good, do you think the other party would even as easily let go of you? (unless she has extreme inferior character) Just that sometimes some things just don't happen for no reason... That's when 'courtship' (pre-relationship) comes in in various forms...
How come I seem to see dis topic hor I cross reference with the topics in Dating Advice can get alot more info?
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lolOriginally posted by dokono:haha..
I did not know I made you think so much with my posts.
pls note that me and Yun are not arguing although we disagree on certain issues. We are just having an exciting discussion.
dude, are you chasing someone now? also what are you trying to get out of this post? What are your main concerns? Courtship is not important ?
doko
this topic serves more like a reflection... on my past experiences as well..
oh ya.. u can say that.. recently i was chasing this someone... personally asked for her number and she gave it to me.. sms her a bit.. got to know a bit on her background.. then called her to ask her out.. but she refused.. not heartbroken... maybe a little annoyed but nothing serious.. and so i kind of like pause and reflect on all my past experiences...
sometimes people here like to start threads like " need advice to chase gal" , "how to get a gal to be interested in me"
so i stopped to ponder... is it neccessary? even if u succeed it probably won't last will they?
anyway smudgey has just answered some of my questions.. thanks -
bingo! pretty in depth..Originally posted by Devil1976:It depends on the clause for your 'going after'.. Some girls just love the feeling of that or believe in these, so they choose to incorporate 'courtship' into their relationship process...
Others... Which I think is likely to mean the majority...? Probably doesn't fancy you as much equally... Hence the longer you take for 'courtship' to work, it MIGHT suggest that initial 'liking' she holds for you is relatively not that high or significant... So end of the day she'll probably still be stuck with more or less of the same 'feel' while in the relationship with you, even if you manages to get her somehow...? Unless something sort of drastic happened during the courtship sotr of made her change her 'feel' of you almost totally... (Which I must say is relatively of a much lower chance of happening)..
Just like you've suggested... Courtship might not have even existed in the 1st place? If the 'bond' and 'feel' is good, do you think the other party would even as easily let go of you? (unless she has extreme inferior character) Just that sometimes some things just don't happen for no reason... That's when 'courtship' (pre-relationship) comes in in various forms... -
hey sorry la..Originally posted by Bontakun:Speaking from experience?
How come I seem to see dis topic hor I cross reference with the topics in Dating Advice can get alot more info?
decided to post here since the response in AA alot better than DA.
and my initial post got alot of references to doko posts.. so i post here since he frequents here.... later he tht i backstabbing him.. lol -
what were her reasons(or excuses) for refusing?Originally posted by royale9:lol
this topic serves more like a reflection... on my past experiences as well..
oh ya.. u can say that.. recently i was chasing this someone... personally asked for her number and she gave it to me.. sms her a bit.. got to know a bit on her background.. then called her to ask her out.. but she refused.. not heartbroken... maybe a little annoyed but nothing serious.. and so i kind of like pause and reflect on all my past experiences...
sometimes people here like to start threads like " need advice to chase gal" , "how to get a gal to be interested in me"
so i stopped to ponder... is it neccessary? even if u succeed it probably won't last will they?
anyway smudgey has just answered some of my questions.. thanks
doko -
backstab for what ? lolOriginally posted by royale9:hey sorry la..
decided to post here since the response in AA alot better than DA.
and my initial post got alot of references to doko posts.. so i post here since he frequents here.... later he tht i backstabbing him.. lol
doko -
ok in detail..Originally posted by dokono:what were her reasons(or excuses) for refusing?
doko
called her on a weekday evening, surprised that she picked up the phone almost immediately... ask her to meet up.. and she say tired so don want.. since just came back from sch.. then i suggested next week... and all of the sudden the line got cut.. thought she hanged up... but few secs later she called back and told me "sorry la here no reception".. after that i ask her sunday leh? and she said sunday confim not free. which might or might not be true.. but heck la.. not going to chase her liao..
hmm.. i think i know wat u're going to say.. drop her... lol
Tactics, Mindset and Life - ::: by CuriousOrange
best to have this person's mindset -
yeah. she doesn't like you. haha. don't waste your time anymore.Originally posted by royale9:ok in detail..
called her on a weekday evening, surprised that she picked up the phone almost immediately... ask her to meet up.. and she say tired so don want.. since just came back from sch.. then i suggested next week... and all of the sudden the line got cut.. thought she hanged up... but few secs later she called back and told me "sorry la here no reception".. after that i ask her sunday leh? and she said sunday confim not free. which might or might not be true.. but heck la.. not going to chase her liao..
hmm.. i think i know wat u're going to say.. drop her... lol
Tactics, Mindset and Life - ::: by CuriousOrange
best to have this person's mindset
yes, good to have this person's attitude. Btw, how old are you?
doko -
I guess this topic might have been more suitable to be Dating Advice?Originally posted by Bontakun:Speaking from experience?
How come I seem to see dis topic hor I cross reference with the topics in Dating Advice can get alot more info? -
What if she attends church on Sundays?Originally posted by royale9:ok in detail..
called her on a weekday evening, surprised that she picked up the phone almost immediately... ask her to meet up.. and she say tired so don want.. since just came back from sch.. then i suggested next week... and all of the sudden the line got cut.. thought she hanged up... but few secs later she called back and told me "sorry la here no reception".. after that i ask her sunday leh? and she said sunday confim not free. which might or might not be true.. but heck la.. not going to chase her liao..
hmm.. i think i know wat u're going to say.. drop her... lol
Tactics, Mindset and Life - ::: by CuriousOrange
best to have this person's mindset -
ya, totally agree.Originally posted by Devil1976:It depends on the clause for your 'going after'.. Some girls just love the feeling of that or believe in these, so they choose to incorporate 'courtship' into their relationship process...
Others... Which I think is likely to mean the majority...? Probably doesn't fancy you as much equally... Hence the longer you take for 'courtship' to work, it MIGHT suggest that initial 'liking' she holds for you is relatively not that high or significant... So end of the day she'll probably still be stuck with more or less of the same 'feel' while in the relationship with you, even if you manages to get her somehow...? Unless something sort of drastic happened during the courtship sotr of made her change her 'feel' of you almost totally... (Which I must say is relatively of a much lower chance of happening)..
Just like you've suggested... Courtship might not have even existed in the 1st place? If the 'bond' and 'feel' is good, do you think the other party would even as easily let go of you? (unless she has extreme inferior character) Just that sometimes some things just don't happen for no reason... That's when 'courtship' (pre-relationship) comes in in various forms...
i think that this topic has got too many to define and many scenarios to describe. -
there are times where no 'chasing' is done.Originally posted by dokono:it depends.
sometimes if you are lucky, the girl might chase you.
But then again, most girls have more guys chasing them than guys having girls chasing them.
doko
things just happen suddenly.