why is my family so screwed up ?
-
my bro is in depression for a few years liao.
-
What is BS?
-
accompany ur bro go see psychiatrist.
its a house after all, ur bro might fall into depression for the slightest of matter again even if u all moved. -
Bull Sai lor...Originally posted by buses_galore:What is BS? -
i wish he wld go see one, but he won't.Originally posted by Ito_^:accompany ur bro go see psychiatrist.
its a house after all, ur bro might fall into depression for the slightest of matter again even if u all moved.
people who are depressed have so negative view about the world that they just won't listen. besides he feels resigned that things will not improve for him because he's been stuck with the situation for a few years liao. it's a vicious pattern of thought in a depressed mind.
i watched a show on depression which talked about the "shut down" in a depressed mind which triggers one to commit suicide. sometimes you won't know when or what is the last straw to break a camel. it's a scary thought -
knock some sense to your father. Ask your father, does he want to see your bro die? why is he so heartless?
then shift house, before moving in to new house, ask some priest or monk to come over to bless the house.
Ask LOA or SOA forum people to help you check out your house fengshui.
period. -
So u believe its the feng shui of the house which causes the problems.. ?
-
whether it's "fengshui" or not, i don't really know. but my bro keeps talking about the house being the root of all his problems - it's up to us if we want to believe him or stick to our own views like my stubborn dad.Originally posted by mhcampboy:So u believe its the feng shui of the house which causes the problems.. ? -
we hv tried knocking sense into my dad but no use. he's the extreme optimist with extra coarse nerves. nothing is a problem to him - which is a problem if there really exists a problemOriginally posted by nightzip:knock some sense to your father. Ask your father, does he want to see your bro die? why is he so heartless?
then shift house, before moving in to new house, ask some priest or monk to come over to bless the house.
Ask LOA or SOA forum people to help you check out your house fengshui.
period.
thanks for the tip on LOA/SOA forum. will check it out -
Can option to rent a place elsewhere or at relative's place. Make sure there's is enough positive people around.Originally posted by dkyy:i wish he wld go see one, but he won't.
people who are depressed have so negative view about the world that they just won't listen. besides he feels resigned that things will not improve for him because he's been stuck with the situation for a few years liao. it's a vicious pattern of thought in a depressed mind.
i watched a show on depression which talked about the "shut down" in a depressed mind which triggers one to commit suicide. sometimes you won't know when or what is the last straw to break a camel. it's a scary thought
Sometimes the "See U no UP" kind of look in your own eyes are not the least helpful at all!
-
just drag your whole family for family counselling.
since your bro has already been depressed for so long, moving house alone will not mean that he wont be depressed anymore after you guys move again.
your brother doesnt have to agree to see a psychiatrist, just bring him. esp since he is talking about suicide. -
talk to your brother, he needs help....
or u give him the fiercest lecture dat u will ever give, he simply needs a knock to wake his mind up...
sometime some pple u need to scold dem until dey cry den dey will change.... -
Originally posted by hiphop2009:talk to your brother, he needs help....
or u give him the fiercest lecture dat u will ever give, he simply needs a knock to wake his mind up...
sometime some pple u need to scold dem until dey cry den dey will change....
your advice would be a wonderful way to make a depressed person more depressed and suicidal. -
he tried renting a place and lived for a couple of months. but he shifted back liao after he quitted his job.Originally posted by NotFromVenus:Can option to rent a place elsewhere or at relative's place. Make sure there's is enough positive people around.
Sometimes the "See U no UP" kind of look in your own eyes are not the least helpful at all!
at home the only (blindly) positive person is my dad. my mum is melancholy due to my bro's problem so it doesn't help. -
Is he religious ?
Move him to a fellowship.
People join a fellowship to keep positive.
-
my bro is very defensive and flares up whenever we talk about psychiatrist and counselling. i really don't know how i can drag him and my whole family for counselling.Originally posted by udontknowme:just drag your whole family for family counselling.
since your bro has already been depressed for so long, moving house alone will not mean that he wont be depressed anymore after you guys move again.
your brother doesnt have to agree to see a psychiatrist, just bring him. esp since he is talking about suicide.
i'm preparing to go see a psychiatrist myself and ask the doc what i can do in such a situation....
-
why is your brother putting the reason down to the house?
Ask him any other option to ease himself in that house?
I don't know but some times certain house, certain room might be filled with negative energy. Theree is no way to describe it but its just is. It affects the person staying there but there must be a way to resolve it.
fathers are like this. Some event happened to me long ago. My dad refused to move. -
unfortunately no.. otherwise i guess the problem can be solved in another way.Originally posted by NotFromVenus:Is he religious ?
Move him to a fellowship.
People join a fellowship to keep positive.
no use hurling self help books at him too. he says he has read them already but if the external situation doesn;t change, his problem will always remain. -
if he feels its the room, there must be a way to fix it.
there must be something that will make him feel at ease in there. -
he says its too noisy and the neighbours are rude. he feels disturbed and flares up whenever he is back in the house. he HATES it.Originally posted by mistyblue:why is your brother putting the reason down to the house?
Ask him any other option to ease himself in that house?
I don't know but some times certain house, certain room might be filled with negative energy. Theree is no way to describe it but its just is. It affects the person staying there but there must be a way to resolve it.
fathers are like this. Some event happened to me long ago. My dad refused to move.
i tried to change room with him but he refused leh.
my friend has a teacher who may know something about fengshui, metaphysical stuff. maybe i shld invite him to come see. then again, am i being superstitious ? -
Maybe he's right , your Family's keep thinking he's the problem, he became one.Originally posted by dkyy:unfortunately no.. otherwise i guess the problem can be solved in another way.
no use hurling self help books at him too. he says he has read them already but if the external situation doesn;t change, his problem will always remain. -
okok, problem easily solve.
Help your bro find a place to rent a room. Then all the rest of the family can remain stay at the house.
Your bro can go find somewhere he likes, and rent the flat or room. This very easy, cuz everywhere you see people paste paper to rent their flat.
Then ask some monk or priest to cleanse the rental room, then ok liao. -
thanks nightzip for the suggestion. i wish my bro is a 10-yr old kid. then i can direct him and probably start bringing him to church to boost his immunity against future mental problems.Originally posted by nightzip:okok, problem easily solve.
Help your bro find a place to rent a room. Then all the rest of the family can remain stay at the house.
Your bro can go find somewhere he likes, and rent the flat or room. This very easy, cuz everywhere you see people paste paper to rent their flat.
Then ask some monk or priest to cleanse the rental room, then ok liao.
anyway one more action item for me - hunt for a monk/priest -
does not hurt to try.Originally posted by dkyy:he says its too noisy and the neighbours are rude. he feels disturbed and flares up whenever he is back in the house. he HATES it.
i tried to change room with him but he refused leh.
my friend has a teacher who may know something about fengshui, metaphysical stuff. maybe i shld invite him to come see. then again, am i being superstitious ?
perhaps its really neighbours, perhaps he needs some color change or perhaps he just needs something else.
Some times, there are reasons that seems illogical but they do affect a person. I had exchange room with my brother for his marriage. He is a super negative person. His negativity is imprinted into that room. So when I moved in, I could not take it. I moved out of the house. My room had been "cultivated" by me to be yang qi. His first comment about my room is that its always hot. But eventually he made it lose the yang qi. Eventually i realised its his character. No one can help him or his marriage if he choose to be negative. When when I moved back, and I took a look at my old room, it was cold and lifeless.
I don't know how to explain, but I never liked his room. Its always cold, dank, always feel uneasy and very depressed in that room. I was glad to move out quickly after that. Its hard to explain. My room was also not ideal but by luck and chance I did a couple of things that helped. -
FYI, my brother is divorced, made my mom and dad's life a living hell. lost his child, wife and is onto the next woman to "complete" his life.
Beyond fengshui and common sense, if a person is always depressed, its hard for others to help. The depressed person has to help himself. Its a knife edge that the depressed walk, and in depression he might not have the energy to do anything drastic. But if he does not get the support and someone anyhow console him and give him just enough energy, he might do something bad to himself. Its a bad situation to be depressed. Its my companion and my shadow, always ready to come and become my best friend. Then cling on like a monkey refusing to get off your head, sucking all the life out of everything. Everything is hopless and grey and everyone is negative and everything that happens is bad and so on. Its a never ending spiral downwards, endlessly and it built itself deeper when you thought you are already deep and you know it will never end. Unless the depressed person pick himself up. Its never an external help that helps the depressed person.