Confessions of a Cheap Guy
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Thanks alot for all your advice, i feel glad that i do not have to coop it all up inside my heart. I will get it out of my system and will prevent any first warning signs. I am just relieve that i settle this in the early stage as i knew my gf is always there for me.
I doubt i will tell her the truth but deep inside i knew a scar (black mark) is always there. Thank you all so much -
agree with you. trust is the one of the most impt factor in a relationship.Originally posted by smudgey:hmmm....
actually although it hurted to hear it, and i cried hearing it....
I'm glad he told me.
cos to me honesty is the best policy.... and i was glad to know that i could trust him to tell me something that most guys would keep from their gf.... -
That brings me to another thought. Would you like to be the 'protected' girlfriend whom your bf absolutely adores and want to protect, or would you like to be the one whom he shares everything with, including things and thoughts of his that hurt you?Originally posted by smudgey:hmmm....
actually although it hurted to hear it, and i cried hearing it....
I'm glad he told me.
cos to me honesty is the best policy.... and i was glad to know that i could trust him to tell me something that most guys would keep from their gf.... -
If you are "still trying" I suggest you get that other girl out of your system first before you think about whether to tell your girlfriend.Originally posted by thickskin23:Now i am still trying to get over that girl but at times i find myself at the mrt station waiting to just catch a glimpse of her.
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Yup, I MAY be able to forgive my guy if he cheated....Originally posted by mystee:agree with you. trust is the one of the most impt factor in a relationship.
but I'll never be able to forgive my guy if he cheated AND LIED to cover up.
i Believe a balance must be established here....Originally posted by blu_sky:That brings me to another thought. Would you like to be the 'protected' girlfriend whom your bf absolutely adores and want to protect, or would you like to be the one whom he shares everything with, including things and thoughts of his that hurt you?
but i prefer more of the latter than the first....
but that is just me. -
101% Agree! We have the same mind ya..Originally posted by smudgey:i Believe a balance must be established here....
but i prefer more of the latter than the first....
but that is just me. -
Its hard to get over just like that, apparently my whole life had changed for the past 2 weeks. I dare not to sleep at night, i find myself attracted to crowded places as i dun want to think about both her and my gf.
I refrain myself from using the computer as i dun want to see "her" name in msn and the fear of knowing that she "block" my name just to avoid me.
The worst thing is my gf is busy rushing a work project that she had no time for me even though i insist i can wait for her to knock off from work. I try fetching her from work but after a few times she just said she prefer to meet me once a week till her project is finished. -
hehehe ya lorOriginally posted by mystee:101% Agree! We have the same mind ya..
^5
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Have you ever had any crush or infatuation before?Originally posted by thickskin23:Its hard to get over just like that, apparently my whole life had changed for the past 2 weeks. I dare not to sleep at night, i find myself attracted to crowded places as i dun want to think about both her and my gf.
I refrain myself from using the computer as i dun want to see "her" name in msn and the fear of knowing that she "block" my name just to avoid me.
The worst thing is my gf is busy rushing a work project that she had no time for me even though i insist i can wait for her to knock off from work. I try fetching her from work but after a few times she just said she prefer to meet me once a week till her project is finished. -
seriously duno y u fear knowing she "block" u.. since u have aldy decided? and shldnt u delete her in your msn?Originally posted by thickskin23:Its hard to get over just like that, apparently my whole life had changed for the past 2 weeks. I dare not to sleep at night, i find myself attracted to crowded places as i dun want to think about both her and my gf.
I refrain myself from using the computer as i dun want to see "her" name in msn and the fear of knowing that she "block" my name just to avoid me.
The worst thing is my gf is busy rushing a work project that she had no time for me even though i insist i can wait for her to knock off from work. I try fetching her from work but after a few times she just said she prefer to meet me once a week till her project is finished.
If you cant made up ur mind, you may just end up with none... -
Balance. when one demand even to know a state of mind (note: no action has been taken to betray. in fact, prompt action has been taken to rectify the situation), is that still called a balance?Originally posted by mystee:101% Agree! We have the same mind ya.. -
I admit it may appear like a crush but chatting with her on msn is what i been doing for the past month. I am now doing all the things i could to forget this foolish act but please understand i need time to get over it.
Right now i am just lucky that i had a gf who loves a whole lot more than i love her and i hope i will do watever i can to fill up that gap. -
of course she might have blocked you! you tell people you toyed with her feelings, and you still expect her not to block you?Originally posted by thickskin23:Its hard to get over just like that, apparently my whole life had changed for the past 2 weeks. I dare not to sleep at night, i find myself attracted to crowded places as i dun want to think about both her and my gf.
I refrain myself from using the computer as i dun want to see "her" name in msn and the fear of knowing that she "block" my name just to avoid me.
The worst thing is my gf is busy rushing a work project that she had no time for me even though i insist i can wait for her to knock off from work. I try fetching her from work but after a few times she just said she prefer to meet me once a week till her project is finished.
i wouldnt be surprised if she had blocked and deleted. -
hmm I think it is cos you feel like you are being neglected by ur gf that your mind keeps straying to think about the other girl in your life?Originally posted by thickskin23:Its hard to get over just like that, apparently my whole life had changed for the past 2 weeks. I dare not to sleep at night, i find myself attracted to crowded places as i dun want to think about both her and my gf.
I refrain myself from using the computer as i dun want to see "her" name in msn and the fear of knowing that she "block" my name just to avoid me.
The worst thing is my gf is busy rushing a work project that she had no time for me even though i insist i can wait for her to knock off from work. I try fetching her from work but after a few times she just said she prefer to meet me once a week till her project is finished. -
the word "balance" is from your question to smudey.. that i m 100% agree to. <'protected' girlfriend whom your bf absolutely adores and want to protect, or would you like to be the one whom he shares everything with, including things and thoughts of his that hurt you?> Who dont like to be adores and protected? but in a relationship, to me, trust is most impt, hence i agree to her saying the latter one is more impt, if i have to choose one only.Originally posted by blu_sky:Balance. when one demand even to know a state of mind (note: no action has been taken to betray. in fact, prompt action has been taken to rectify the situation), is that still called a balance?
Another thing is... "swaying of heart" to me... is aldy a kind of betray.... -
u cant have the best of both worlds, now dat u decide to stick to ur current one, so be it.Originally posted by thickskin23:Its hard to get over just like that, apparently my whole life had changed for the past 2 weeks. I dare not to sleep at night, i find myself attracted to crowded places as i dun want to think about both her and my gf.
I refrain myself from using the computer as i dun want to see "her" name in msn and the fear of knowing that she "block" my name just to avoid me.
The worst thing is my gf is busy rushing a work project that she had no time for me even though i insist i can wait for her to knock off from work. I try fetching her from work but after a few times she just said she prefer to meet me once a week till her project is finished.
althought it's normal u will feel something is at lost, tis kinda of thing is quite normal for infatuation. u did mention tis new gal is not pretty but u still attracted somehow rite? it could be temporary feeling n it may be just a sparky love. -
Originally posted by mystee:
Thats why if i were a guy, i will never tell. Anyway, thoughts i may not be able to control, it is my action that i can control. if despite my fleeting thoughts, i choose to stay faithful, and be resolute about it and put that into action, i dun think why i should be penalised for something that i have not done.
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the word "balance" is from your question to smudey.. that i m 100% agree to. <'protected' girlfriend whom your bf absolutely adores and want to protect, or would you like to be the one whom he shares everything with, including things and thoughts of his that hurt you?> Who dont like to be adores and protected? but in a relationship, to me, trust is most impt, hence i agree to her saying the latter one is more impt, if i have to choose one only.
Another thing is... "swaying of heart" to me... is aldy a kind of betray....[/b]
Yes, women may say, but in your mind you already 'swayed'. Thats why i say, dont tell her. -
+1Originally posted by mystee:the word "balance" is from your question to smudey.. that i m 100% agree to. <'protected' girlfriend whom your bf absolutely adores and want to protect, or would you like to be the one whom he shares everything with, including things and thoughts of his that hurt you?> Who dont like to be adores and protected? but in a relationship, to me, trust is most impt, hence i agree to her saying the latter one is more impt, if i have to choose one only.
Another thing is... "swaying of heart" to me... is aldy a kind of betray....
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If I were the girlfriend, and the TS really did what he posted, strictly no more than that, I'd rather not know. That is IF he is able to get over the girl and sort out what he wants. 1mth vs 7years.....
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yes, me too.Originally posted by choco B:If I were the girlfriend, and the TS really did what he posted, strictly no more than that, I'd rather not know. That is IF he is able to get over the girl and sort out what he wants. 1mth vs 7years..... -
difference in opinions ba....Originally posted by blu_sky:Thats why if i were a guy, i will never tell. Anyway, thoughts i may not be able to control, it is my action that i can control. if despite my fleeting thoughts, i choose to stay faithful, and be resolute about it and put that into action, i dun think why i should be penalised for something that i have not done.
Yes, women may say, but in your mind you already 'swayed'. Thats why i say, dont tell her.
cos as i said,
I May be able to forgive his betrayer
but never if it's coupled with deception. -
maybe he got the 7 year itch
but seriously, I think it is cos he has been neglected by the gf. So ought to sit the girl down and have a good discussion with her...maybe just hint to her that he has been feeling attracted to other girls since she has not been around? -
Have you confessed this to your GF? 7 yrs is a long time invested. At least from my point of view, you are doing something right so as not to further hurt anyone.
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Being too busy to spend time with you.. Is that part of the reason why you swayed in your opinion?Originally posted by thickskin23:Its hard to get over just like that, apparently my whole life had changed for the past 2 weeks. I dare not to sleep at night, i find myself attracted to crowded places as i dun want to think about both her and my gf.
I refrain myself from using the computer as i dun want to see "her" name in msn and the fear of knowing that she "block" my name just to avoid me.
The worst thing is my gf is busy rushing a work project that she had no time for me even though i insist i can wait for her to knock off from work. I try fetching her from work but after a few times she just said she prefer to meet me once a week till her project is finished. -
what's with this seven year itch thing ... my gf always brings this upOriginally posted by rainee:maybe he got the 7 year itch
but seriously, I think it is cos he has been neglected by the gf. So ought to sit the girl down and have a good discussion with her...maybe just hint to her that he has been feeling attracted to other girls since she has not been around?
reading TS post ... boy am I glad that all I'm attracted to are my computer/work/cars and my gf - together for years le, never change! and i hope it never does ...
anyway TS:
Why don't you think about it from your gf's viewpoint? Sounds to me like you're just a clingish little b*t*h. Be a man - your gf may have given you her best 7 years of her life, but that doesn't mean you should stay with her and have her sacrifice the next good 40 years of her life.
If your gf still wants you after fessing up, then yea ok .. she's the one living with it - then you will have a duty to make sure you don't screw up.
If your gf does not want to be with you after fessing up, then even better .. she'll find someone more deserving, and you can live through your "breathless" moments once again.