Love has no reason?
-
Hmm....Originally posted by kuri:I dun know whether to get into it while his patience last or wait n see if his patience last.
cos if it wears out he has failed what he told me when i asked him why tolerate me,he said to him it isnt about tolerating anymore he has accepted that as part n parcel of being with me it comes natural n need not be tolerated alr.
yet i know there's a limit to anyone's patience
I just can't be sure. I like him. but the reason why i like him may not be viable if we go into a relationship n his patience wears. that's the dilemma.
What if his way of loving you is the very reason why he accepts your annoying behaviour? Would you be secure and love him back?
In fact, before you're sure, you might already want to move on.
Cheers
|| Most Guys lose it because they lack - Patience || -
hmmmmOriginally posted by M©+square:Hmm....
What if his way of loving you is the very reason why he accepts your annoying behaviour? Would you be secure and love him back?
In fact, before you're sure, you might already want to move on.
Cheers
chim...trying to digest that...
-
Hmm...then i suggest you redefine what is Love to you.Originally posted by kuri:hmmmm
chim...trying to digest that...
Seems like you're setting up alot of barrier.
Cheers -
Originally posted by M©+square:
That's the answer he wants from me by what we agree to be the end of next month. I m afraid i'd be so dependent on him by then that i can't bring myself to leave him.
[b]Do you love him? [/b] -
Do you know that you have alot of insecurities?Originally posted by kuri:That's the answer he wants from me by what we agree to be the end of next month. I m afraid i'd be so dependent on him by then that i can't bring myself to leave him.
Can you identify it?
Cheers -
We are still officially friends. Friends who met up almost every single day for the past like 21 days. That's a bit hmmm huh. We are letting things cool these few days but agreed to continue with generally what we have now till the next month deadline i mentioned. He was a lil upset when i suggested we should meet less often but came to the consensus with me when i told him that meeting up too regularly is accelerating frustrations with our problems and magnifying the tension we face.Originally posted by T.Ryousuke:You can see whether this guy can love for a long long time, for a start, u just remain as friend. -
Yes i m aware of that and he is very aware of that. Been terribly honest with him all this while.Originally posted by M©+square:Do you know that you have alot of insecurities?
Can you identify it?
Cheers -
Originally posted by kuri:Yes i m aware of that and he is very aware of that. Been terribly honest with him all this while.
-
meaning?way to go??Originally posted by M©+square: 
-
Originally posted by kuri:He says he really loves me.
I ask him why.
He says it's just based on feelings.
I say but my behaviour has been rather annoying from the first time we met.
And he says yes there were times i made him clenched his fist in frustration, however he has learnt to accept it for who i am.
Say i m thinking too much you may,but there's a nagging doubt in my head.
If i were really irritating to him why would he have wanted to get close to me in the first place?
Why bother to tolerate me if i need to b tolerated?
Love has no reason?
Really?
love does come with reasons,
reason of the heart.
he isnt the one alone feeling irritated and love at the same time.
its more about accceptance of the person that you chose to love.
wit my ex byfriend, we argued, and quarreled alot..
sometimes he hrut me so deep that i just wanted to die.
but then i thught about it..
no matter how much he does hurt me,
i know i love him and he loves me.
in a relationship. irritation of ur partner and hurt from them is wat comes with the package.
instead of him just thinking shallowly that u irritated him.
he prob thought
" hey shes got her good points, even if she did irritate me, her million of other good points can over lap that. and i'll love her for the goodness in her instead of chosing to shun her for irritating me "
so sometime my dear,
have a little faith in the words ur love one says to you.
look at all angles instead of being the typical stereotype of every answer that he/she gives. -
actually i have a similar experience to share. A guy likes me lots but i gave him a really hard time (of cos i didnt annoy him so much that he had to clench his fist). A really hard time.Originally posted by kuri:He says he really loves me.
I ask him why.
He says it's just based on feelings.
I say but my behaviour has been rather annoying from the first time we met.
And he says yes there were times i made him clenched his fist in frustration, however he has learnt to accept it for who i am.
Say i m thinking too much you may,but there's a nagging doubt in my head.
If i were really irritating to him why would he have wanted to get close to me in the first place?
Why bother to tolerate me if i need to b tolerated?
Love has no reason?
Really?
he is really patient and is still around, but i feel so bad that i gave him such a hard time.
So my advice is, try to curb your annoying behaviour. -
Are you purposely annoying him to see how long he would tolerate your behavior? If he can tolerate for long then you take that as a proof he really loves you?
-
Love starts from sumwhere... lust for your body... admiration of your face... chasing after your money... interests in your actvities... etc etc...
-
x2.Originally posted by foga:nope.. love is the reason
but then again, do not take things for granted.
hope TS understand what I mean. -
Do you need a reason to love someone? If so, what is your reason?
-
i guess that's the essense of love....
to love one another, DESPITE their flaws. -
Well,if i were to fall in love with him eventually it would be due to wat i said earlier i like him for,his patience with me. it is mainly that which attracts me to him.Originally posted by ILPSY:Do you need a reason to love someone? If so, what is your reason?
But i dun see anything bout me that would interest him in the first place so i dun see why would he claimed to have fallen in love with me?
This is stirring up a lot of insecurities in me.
For starters, i am playful, quirky, unpredictable and perhaps immature, the definitely need to be coaxed all the time insecure kiddie. The kind who in his own words had considered a "dangerous girl" to him.
He was a serious young man with stable secure career and stuff who wanted a serious gf who would eventually be his life partner. I pointed out that difference to him and implied that perhaps he had thought he had fallen for me cos i m a new thrill, even asked him explicitly "are you sure it's not on impulse?" several times.
He told he's old enough and been thru sufficient experience to know how he feels and what he wants.
Cos this insecurity and the incompatiability which i pointed out, i m worried i would break his heart eventually or he would mine so i hav been pacing back and forth, cos i m unsure whether a relationship with him would have any chance of working out.
Also he's under a lot of stress lately, starting to show some signs of tireness towards having to be so sensitive to me and having to deal with my baby tantrums at times.
ermmm... -
havent u heard that opposite attracts?Originally posted by kuri:Well,if i were to fall in love with him eventually it would be due to wat i said earlier i like him for,his patience with me. it is mainly that which attracts me to him.
But i dun see anything bout me that would interest him in the first place so i dun see why would he claimed to have fallen in love with me?
This is stirring up a lot of insecurities in me.
For starters, i am playful, quirky, unpredictable and perhaps immature, the definitely need to be coaxed all the time insecure kiddie. The kind who in his own words had considered a "dangerous girl" to him.
He was a serious young man with stable secure career and stuff who wanted a serious gf who would eventually be his life partner. I pointed out that difference to him and implied that perhaps he had thought he had fallen for me cos i m a new thrill, even asked him explicitly "are you sure it's not on impulse?" several times.
He told he's old enough and been thru sufficient experience to know how he feels and what he wants.
Cos this insecurity and the incompatiability which i pointed out, i m worried i would break his heart eventually or he would mine so i hav been pacing back and forth, cos i m unsure whether a relationship with him would have any chance of working out.
Also he's under a lot of stress lately, starting to show some signs of tireness towards having to be so sensitive to me and having to deal with my baby tantrums at times.
ermmm...
I dun anyone wants to go for someone who is exactly identical to himself or herself, life would be pretty boring that way
So maybe your bf sees you as someone who is different and would be able to bring some spices into his otherwise mundane and routine life. So just trust in his choice and enjoy your time with him...and do stop throwing tantrums just for the sake of aggravating him to prove that he loves you -
What are you looking for? a stable relationship like what he is looking for?Originally posted by kuri:Well,if i were to fall in love with him eventually it would be due to wat i said earlier i like him for,his patience with me. it is mainly that which attracts me to him.
But i dun see anything bout me that would interest him in the first place so i dun see why would he claimed to have fallen in love with me?
This is stirring up a lot of insecurities in me.
For starters, i am playful, quirky, unpredictable and perhaps immature, the definitely need to be coaxed all the time insecure kiddie. The kind who in his own words had considered a "dangerous girl" to him.
He was a serious young man with stable secure career and stuff who wanted a serious gf who would eventually be his life partner. I pointed out that difference to him and implied that perhaps he had thought he had fallen for me cos i m a new thrill, even asked him explicitly "are you sure it's not on impulse?" several times.
He told he's old enough and been thru sufficient experience to know how he feels and what he wants.
Cos this insecurity and the incompatiability which i pointed out, i m worried i would break his heart eventually or he would mine so i hav been pacing back and forth, cos i m unsure whether a relationship with him would have any chance of working out.
Also he's under a lot of stress lately, starting to show some signs of tireness towards having to be so sensitive to me and having to deal with my baby tantrums at times.
ermmm...
Can your tantrums be curbed? are you just throwing it to 'test' him or that is the way you are? is he a patient guy by nature or he is stretching himself to put up with you? -
Sometimes. Other times just bcos i m hypersensitive or emo. Throw regular baby tantrums and fits at him expecting to be coaxed. Maybe i m trying too hard to test him or perhaps i m an immature brat who needs to be pleased all the time.Originally posted by rainee:Are you purposely annoying him to see how long he would tolerate your behavior? If he can tolerate for long then you take that as a proof he really loves you?
Funny tho,i m never like that to other friends. And i have grown more demanding after i started sorta liking him.
What do i want?
I dunno.
I m just getting more n more trapped into the engima i've created. -
Perhaps you would like to read the following stuffs by clicking here? Maybe you can find out more.Originally posted by kuri:He says he really loves me.
I ask him why.
He says it's just based on feelings.
I say but my behaviour has been rather annoying from the first time we met.
And he says yes there were times i made him clenched his fist in frustration, however he has learnt to accept it for who i am.
Say i m thinking too much you may,but there's a nagging doubt in my head.
If i were really irritating to him why would he have wanted to get close to me in the first place?
Why bother to tolerate me if i need to b tolerated?
Love has no reason?
Really? -
TS, if you can understand all these, y cant you work it out yourself by being more sensitive to him? I believe that guy dont need much from you, all he need is some emotional support. I am sure you can do that. =)Originally posted by kuri:Well,if i were to fall in love with him eventually it would be due to wat i said earlier i like him for,his patience with me. it is mainly that which attracts me to him.
But i dun see anything bout me that would interest him in the first place so i dun see why would he claimed to have fallen in love with me?
This is stirring up a lot of insecurities in me.
For starters, i am playful, quirky, unpredictable and perhaps immature, the definitely need to be coaxed all the time insecure kiddie. The kind who in his own words had considered a "dangerous girl" to him.
He was a serious young man with stable secure career and stuff who wanted a serious gf who would eventually be his life partner. I pointed out that difference to him and implied that perhaps he had thought he had fallen for me cos i m a new thrill, even asked him explicitly "are you sure it's not on impulse?" several times.
He told he's old enough and been thru sufficient experience to know how he feels and what he wants.
Cos this insecurity and the incompatiability which i pointed out, i m worried i would break his heart eventually or he would mine so i hav been pacing back and forth, cos i m unsure whether a relationship with him would have any chance of working out.
Also he's under a lot of stress lately, starting to show some signs of tireness towards having to be so sensitive to me and having to deal with my baby tantrums at times.
ermmm...
If you feel that he is seriously not the one for you, then break off. Dun hang on so long with him. -
That's like a big part of what i m trying to find out? if he's patient by nature it has a chance of working out and if he is just bearing with me most likely it wont last.. he said he swore he was never that patient to his ex of several yrs even so i wonder...Originally posted by blu_sky:is he a patient guy by nature or he is stretching himself to put up with you? -
I think you have had the wrong mindset about how someone behaves when he loves you. You think that if you throw tantrums and he gives in to you all the time, then that must mean he loves you a lot. Or maybe this is just one of your ways to demand and seek his attention...Originally posted by kuri:Sometimes. Other times just bcos i m hypersensitive or emo. Throw regular baby tantrums and fits at him expecting to be coaxed. Maybe i m trying too hard to test him or perhaps i m an immature brat who needs to be pleased all the time.
Funny tho,i m never like that to other friends. And i have grown more demanding after i started sorta liking him.
What do i want?
I dunno.
I m just getting more n more trapped into the engima i've created.
There are many other ways to get your bf's attention and to get him to prove his love for you, but not in this way which will make both of you unhappy. You are not like this towards your other frens because you do not have this subconscious need to test them whether they love you or not. And notice you said you are like this only after you started to fall for him, in a way you are trying to find something that will convince you that he is really true towards you. So the root of this problem lies in your insecurities and also your uncertainty about whether he is really in love with you...
Look for the little things he has done for you, and in those you will truly find the proof of his love -
what are the possibilities that you curb your tantrums?Originally posted by kuri:That's like a big part of what i m trying to find out? if he's patient by nature it has a chance of working out and if he is just bearing with me most likely it wont last.. he said he swore he was never that patient to his ex of several yrs even so i wonder...