is he really taking me for granted already?
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Thats sweet of you.
Remember the time when you just started to fall in love. Everything looks wonderful and you feel happy, even though, you are actually "giving" in the relationship. Of coz, you may feel indignant that you have been "giving" since the start of the relationship and feels that it is time for you to "receive".
But, also remember, why do most relationships fail? Is it because it is stagnant? Incompactility? If thats the case, why do they fall in love in the first place and can start a relationship? Because they "give". However, as time goes by, they feel they "give" and now, they expect to "receive". They feel unstatisfied with a relationship when they feel that they do not "receive" as much as they "give". Thus, they feel tired and decided to end.
I believe love is unconditional. Ppl have the ability to "give". Do it because you feel happy doing it. Think of him when you do that. It will make you happy coz you know he will be happy. Isn't this what makes a relationship? Trust me, he will feel it.
Cheers. -
So what's your plan next, lady?Originally posted by veronicatan:i do jio my friends out, the above is just a figure of speech. Anyway, does it matter who jio who out? -
See~!! more and more problems surface le.... It's not juz as simple as an unreplied SMS only Okie~~
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TS, forget him
why you gals end up with these type of guys
good guys alot
please find them and attached with them
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what do you think i should do?Originally posted by Devil1976:So what's your plan next, lady? -
how i know he is like that until it actually happens?Originally posted by mrsmall:TS, forget him
why you gals end up with these type of guys
good guys alot
please find them and attached with them 
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the best part in a r/s is during courtship. Everything seems so perfect and nice. Until officially together then things starts to surface. Heng Swey la..
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TS, dun indulge in self-pity. It will only affect you emotionally.
Cheers. -
which part shows that im indulging in self-pity? or you suggest i indulge in groundless delusion?Originally posted by ILPSY:TS, dun indulge in self-pity. It will only affect you emotionally.
Cheers. -
Me and my bf are also in a LDR. And we only get to meet at most 4 times a month, usually during the weekends.
Last time we used to talk all the time, through online, SMSes and phone calls. When I was still studying overseas, think our conversations on MSN can last for hours...then when I came back to Malaysia, I would go to a cyber cafe every night to chat with him, simply cos my house got no internet and calling each other all the time is just too expensive...Then after I got internet connection at work, we also chat all the time on MSN until we both finished working...but starting from a few weeks ago we have decided not to MSN each other so much anymore, cos I need to do my work and he also needs to do his...but this is a compromise we have both reached together...I let him do his work in the afternoon, but I set a time for us to talk on phone at night, and so far we have never missed this time, even when he is out he will still call me...
LDR requires a lot of efforts on both parties, and the most important thing is for you to be open with him and also tell him your concern. Did you ever tell him that you feel that your relationship lacks communication? And tell him that it is harder not to communicate so much since both of you already can't meet so often nowadays...just let him know how you feel, don't bottle it to yourself. That's what my dear has always told me cos he said if I dun tell him, he might not even know what is bothering me... -
Yes, i told him before. but he said that is normal if he is overseas. There are bound to be times that he cannot be reached.
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maybe he is really busy with his work? What about setting a time to call him when you know he is at home? He cant be away all the time from his hse rite?Originally posted by veronicatan:Yes, i told him before. but he said that is normal if he is overseas. There are bound to be times that he cannot be reached. -
I agree with rainee...
he's your bf lei...
give him the benifit of a doubt ba...
have a nice talk with him... -
I agree that Benefit of doubt should be given
In this case, it's not about the frequency of sms or phone calls.
It is about his attitude towards Veronica.
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and another important thing to note is...the way you talk to him is also very important..
if you start the talk by accusing him for not spending enough time with you and ask him to spend more, he will hear it as you being over-demanding and will turn defensive... -
yes... that is where the issue is.Originally posted by M©+square:I agree that Benefit of doubt should be given
In this case, it's not about the frequency of sms or phone calls.
It is about his attitude towards Veronica. -
She might not have to chance to accusing...before she can even do that, he disappears.Originally posted by rainee:and another important thing to note is...the way you talk to him is also very important..
if you start the talk by accusing him for not spending enough time with you and ask him to spend more, he will hear it as you being over-demanding and will turn defensive...
Going for meeting. Veronica, wil continue after my meeting. Meanwhile, take care.
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Originally posted by M©+square:She might not have to chance to accusing...before she can even do that, he disappears.
Going for meeting. Veronica, wil continue after my meeting. Meanwhile, take care.
Yea I am just saying that just in case she gets lucky and manages to get her bf to sit down and have one of those long, nice talks with her, she should refrain from accusing. Cos they havent had a chance to have a nice talk with him for quite long and like what you said, the bf always disappears, chances are she has a lot of things bottled up within her, and one will usually "explode" and starts to accuse instead of discuss the moment they got a chance to talk... -
Originally posted by M©+square:She might not have to chance to accusing...before she can even do that, he disappears.
Going for meeting. Veronica, wil continue after my meeting. Meanwhile, take care.
yes, looking forward to your continuation. -
X2Originally posted by the Bear:you know what will kill a relationship very quickly?
a suspicious mind...
think about it..
i fully agree with wad bear said, true love comes with trust, if your whole love life is to be suspicious of your companion, then might as well end it -
I think I'm not in the position to suggest.... Mmm... It's not like you would also follow what I would to say even if I do?Originally posted by veronicatan:what do you think i should do?
I think the court's still pretty much OPEN and DEBATABLE... That's why I'm on one hand... Quite curious as to what you might be doing next... On the other hand, wish for that you make your own decision from there.. And maybe I can just advise you on the advantage(s) and possible pitfalls of your decision? -
Would be glad if i can hear your opinions. All ears.Originally posted by Devil1976:I think I'm not in the position to suggest.... Mmm... It's not like you would also follow what I would to say even if I do?
I think the court's still pretty much OPEN and DEBATABLE... That's why I'm on one hand... Quite curious as to what you might be doing next... On the other hand, wish for that you make your own decision from there.. And maybe I can just advise you on the advantage(s) and possible pitfalls of your decision? -
On one hand, your bf's behavior can be somehow a little suspicious. But there's really no evidence to put him down or maybe not even a need to do so? He could be 'acting funny' behind your back or just like what the other extreme end as some have proposed.. Just too busy with work? Though from what you've mentioned so far, I would personally think he's more like at least a little suspicious....Originally posted by veronicatan:Would be glad if i can hear your opinions. All ears.
Like MCSquare has suggested, it's not quite logical or even adequate that he should be ignoring much of your feelings... Personally I feel... Especially shouldn't be so since you're both still quite YOUNG into this relationship... He should naturally be more concerned than not...? Unless like what others have mentioned that he's too busy with work...? But from examples ya mentioned about him speaking of himself going out and then suddenly no reply and such... Doesn't quite match up?
What's your star sign?
Is your bf in anyway quite attractive? Or suppose quite a very successful person?
Somehow from what you've mentioned, it seems like he in a very much more dominant position in this relationship? At least in a sense? Even if you supposingly have 'control' over him, it's more like from a 'pet' 's position...? Meaning you would have to win his favor and heart...? Something like that...?
In view of the form of relationship that both of you are holding.. I suppose there's quite a chance that your bf is a flirt of a sort maybe? Or that your relationship might not really have that foundation to it...? You're someone with quite a high sense of insecurity..? With relatively low sense of control over the relationship....
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www.lovingyou.com
hope u can find ur answers in there