Urgent question to ask those who are attached...
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It'll be a difinite NO for me. Unless I am going to the trip with them
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Yeah it's confirm NO NO for me too...
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i think so too.Originally posted by BufPuf:if u worry abt her..then go with her
if not..u got to learn to trust her..
as for the 700 bucks..i think it's really up to yr gf lah...if she lend and the guy dun return then i think it's a lesson learnt for yr gf..
cannot everything swee swee 1
i suggest you join her since you are really so worried. Well, it is a holiday, not necessarily that something might happen. Then again, anything could happen *shrug
Either you join them, or you juz gotta trust her and let her go. Any other alternatives listed above (eg asking her not to go, dun share room with them), juz gonna make you look bad.
Yes, as for the money, it is her money, her choice. -
for this trip, let it be.....when she returns tell her you are not comfortable with it and request not to do it again...in return ask her if she minds you sharing rooms with girls too.....
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he had already agreed, now changing his mind and eating his words to disrupt their (note, not just hers, her friends' too) travel plan, will make him look really bad.Originally posted by bigmouthjoe:Yeah, but question is how is the TS going to put this message across to his GF? Throw her the same senario and try to make her understand?
If he really cant set his mind at ease and trust her, I think the best way out for him now is to join them. Just tell her, "oh darling, my boss approved my leave, and i can join you for your HK trip!!!"
Sound happy and excited, that will do the job. -
Hehe I got feeling if he goes, the trip would be cancelled... cus the guy not interested anymore..
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Well, aint that great? it proves something?Originally posted by bigmouthjoe:Hehe I got feeling if he goes, the trip would be cancelled... cus the guy not interested anymore.. -
I have a friend whos wife wanted to go out clubbing with another guy friend & couple of friends more. He allowed them to go because he say he should trust her since she's his wife.Originally posted by shade343:Lets say your gf or bf is going for a holiday to hong kong with his/her classmates. There are only 3 people going in total. Your bf/gf plus another girl and guy. So it would be like 2 girls and 1 guy sharing the same room.
They would all be sharing the same room to save on expenses. Assume the guy to be 23yrs old
Would you object to it?
That night she didn't come home and she didn't pick her HP the whole night. All I knew was that incident sparked off the divorced soon after. Swift & little hassle. I didn't know what why happened until just few months after their divorce his ex wife gave birth then found that she got pregnant during the marriage and the baby wasn't my friend's.
If your gf treats you seriously, she should not place herself in such a situation whereby she is easily endangered. Who knows what will happen. Right? Re-think this gf seriously. Will she do it next time again?
All the best TS. -
I agree. I remember my friend saying this once, guys are not wrong to want to be near your gf, all guys are the same (unless you're gay) but your gf is wrong if she knows this but still do nothing about it...
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There have to be a mutual point in a relationship.. If you can trust your partner, good for you... If you can't, I think one of the last things you should be doing might be to pretend you're ok with things when you're actually VERY not okie with them...Originally posted by blu_sky:Honestly, if budget is an important element that they are considering (since the guy has to borrow money from you gf for the holiday
), i dun see how your persuasion going to work.
You may come across as unreasonable and not understanding.
Despite the fact that 'budget' is the issue of this trip.. His gf would still have to understand.. Which is more important? The relationship or the trip? Is the bf's stand totally nonsense or he has his own point of concerns too...?
As much as I might think the TS might be able to just put the message across this time round and not be too pushy about it since the trips have already been planned... But it'll probably better if his gf knows what's going on with his thoughts at this point so that there'll be less excuse for the same thing to be repeated again....? -
That would also have to depend on the mentality of the gf... She could also be seeing that the bf actually don't trust her and insist on tagging along at the last min...Originally posted by blu_sky:he had already agreed, now changing his mind and eating his words to disrupt their (note, not just hers, her friends' too) travel plan, will make him look really bad.
If he really cant set his mind at ease and trust her, I think the best way out for him now is to join them. Just tell her, "oh darling, my boss approved my leave, and i can join you for your HK trip!!!"
Sound happy and excited, that will do the job.
Also, I don't see how that might really solve the budget problem? It's quite unlikely that 4 of them would be sharing a room, so they would need 2 rooms instead...? -
they can each stay in individual rooms for all i care, but whos to say the won't clusterphuck (pun not intended) in one room every night?
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No money still want to go Hong Kong, what a sucker. This is very, very suspicious.Originally posted by shade343:The guy 23yrs old leh. And he ask her pay $700 for his airfare first, cos he no money now.... -
in accordance to the thread, the budget problem is that guy's, not the couple's rite?Originally posted by Devil1976:That would also have to depend on the mentality of the gf... She could also be seeing that the bf actually don't trust her and insist on tagging along at the last min...
Also, I don't see how that might really solve the budget problem? It's quite unlikely that 4 of them would be sharing a room, so they would need 2 rooms instead...? -
Then i suggest u go with them .... However, it gd to trust your gf.... I sure u can afford the hk trip?
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yes, they should communicate. but there is a difference between communication and pushing for your stand and making others change their plans (in this case, the bf was saying he might persuade her not to go. it will disrupt everyone's, not just her plan) which has changed since your last agreement to it. no?Originally posted by Devil1976:There have to be a mutual point in a relationship.. If you can trust your partner, good for you... If you can't, I think one of the last things you should be doing might be to pretend you're ok with things when you're actually VERY not okie with them...
Despite the fact that 'budget' is the issue of this trip.. His gf would still have to understand.. Which is more important? The relationship or the trip? Is the bf's stand totally nonsense or he has his own point of concerns too...?
As much as I might think the TS might be able to just put the message across this time round and not be too pushy about it since the trips have already been planned... But it'll probably better if his gf knows what's going on with his thoughts at this point so that there'll be less excuse for the same thing to be repeated again....? -
I cant go for the trip becos I will be having my poly attachment....Originally posted by BufPuf:I didn't really read through what other post
but why r u not paying for yr gf? got to work 12 hr to go hongkong?
if u worry abt her..then go with her
if not..u got to learn to trust her..
as for the 700 bucks..i think it's really up to yr gf lah...if she lend and the guy dun return then i think it's a lesson learnt for yr gf..
cannot everything swee swee 1
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Does the guy know how to speak Cantonese? If he can, then I'm not surprised that the 2 girls want to follow him... In Hong Kong, it's more safe if at least one person in a group can speak Cantonese... (At least you'll have more bargaining power when you shop, and you can order food without worrying that you'll get the wrong food.)
I had a house in HK (cos my dad is working there). Once I invited 2 female friends to stay in my house and I offered to bring them around HK. So it's the same case of "1 guy + 2 girls". I feel fine about it and my 2 friends feel fine too. (They were glad that they saved money on accomodation by staying in my HK home.) At the end of the day, it's just a matter of trust and a matter of economics. If that guy has no money, no Cantonese knowledge, no sense of direction, etc... , then you better ask your gf to "take care of herself"...
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I 200% agree.Originally posted by autumncs:Does the guy know how to speak Cantonese? If he can, then I'm not surprised that the 2 girls want to follow him... In Hong Kong, it's more safe if at least one person in a group can speak Cantonese... (At least you'll have more bargaining power when you shop, and you can order food without worrying that you'll get the wrong food.)
I had a house in HK (cos my dad is working there). Once I invited 2 female friends to stay in my house and I offered to bring them around HK. So it's the same case of "1 guy + 2 girls". I feel fine about it and my 2 friends feel fine too. (They were glad that they saved money on accomodation by staying in my HK home.) At the end of the day, it's just a matter of trust and a matter of economics. If that guy has no money, no Cantonese knowledge, no sense of direction, etc... , then you better ask your gf to "take care of herself"...
TS, I really suggest you think it back.
If your gf really loves you, why does she want to endanger herself in such a situation? She may trust the guy but does the guy deserves trust when he has to get someone else to sponsor the trip first? Why is he so insistant to go? If he cannot pay this amount upfront, then this amount of money will be quite a big sum to him. Why must he insist of spending this amount of money unless it's so important to him. Really as someone earlier said 'very suspicious'.
Why not postpone it and save more money? Then together you two can go alone together and have a real time together as a real 'couple'? If she insists, then let her go and also let the relationship go together. Just be friends. -
I really think this is the underlying issue. Shade, you dun really trust your GF to do all these without you knowing what's going on right...?Originally posted by Devil1976:That would also have to depend on the mentality of the gf... She could also be seeing that the bf actually don't trust her and insist on tagging along at the last min...
Also, I don't see how that might really solve the budget problem? It's quite unlikely that 4 of them would be sharing a room, so they would need 2 rooms instead...? -
The guy's budget problem has already become a shared problem among them since the day he decided to go on this trip with them...Originally posted by blu_sky:in accordance to the thread, the budget problem is that guy's, not the couple's rite?
3 people in 1 room = A room's cost divided by 3.
4 people in 2 rooms = A room's cost divided by 2.
See the point
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Yes... My point being.. Bring a message across but not be pushy about it...Originally posted by blu_sky:yes, they should communicate. but there is a difference between communication and pushing for your stand and making others change their plans (in this case, the bf was saying he might persuade her not to go. it will disrupt everyone's, not just her plan) which has changed since your last agreement to it. no? -
Honestly guys, too many unknown factors. Don't jump to conclusions and rouse unnecessary fears. Like what some have said, it'd be good for TS to communicate with his gf.
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ah... you are assuming 4 of them cant share a room? or did the TS state it somewhere tat i miss out?Originally posted by Devil1976:The guy's budget problem has already become a shared problem among them since the day he decided to go on this trip with them...
3 people in 1 room = A room's cost divided by 3.
4 people in 2 rooms = A room's cost divided by 2.
See the point -
why don't TS lend me $700 so i can get to HK and help you check it out
heh. that aside anyway i think the main issue here is WHY the man no money still want to go?
what is his relationship between him and your gf?
buddies since year 1?
if that is so maybe they have planned a trip overseas together the 3 of them since year 1 and maybe the plan only carried out now. age of 23 so should be at least 5 years of friendship? judging that your gf trusts him by lending him the money i think you should trust her that nothing should happen. if she feels he's a good guy she should also feel nothing should happen to her if he goes for the trip. unless she likes him. than you're done for.
now why would she lend him money when she feel that he will do something to her. right?
now the other issue is $700. better make sure he pays back the money by hook or by crook to your gf or you will start putting padlocks at his house gate everyday. try to check out if he's working or something or has the means to pay back.