Missed chances......
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nice song... thksOriginally posted by SumOne: -
Your welcome. But just putting songs that remind me of Miss J. Gosh, now I feel like rewatching the first season of Qing Fei De Yi.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:nice song... thks -
What do you suggest I do for closure? Go after her again? But she's happily attached, I have no right to intrude on her.Originally posted by rainee:I think you kept thinking abt her instead of your past two gfs because you have never had her?
She was never in your life to answer the question,"What if we have gotten together?"
maybe because of this lack of closure, she is always on your mind... -
Since her, I've continued to give myself chance with others. I never once denied myself the oppurtunity to be with someone else. It's just that on nights like these, I think about her and not someone else.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:Think what it could have been all you want. Just continue to look for "sumone"
Remember that "thinking" is always so much more wonderful than real-life. At least now you have good thoughts when you think of her. If she was not meant for you and you broke up after dating. You will still be thinking of her but it might be only evil thoughts.
I don't think I would have evil thoughts, she's a wonderful lady. -
Great, now the link isn't working. Was fine the other day.Originally posted by SumOne: -
That's because you were a gentleman and stepped aside graciously. If you were bad, you would have brought out the worst in her.Originally posted by SumOne:I don't think I would have evil thoughts, she's a wonderful lady.
If you had not let her go graciously, you will never have such wonderful nights like these thinking about her. Cherish the memories. Enjoy the thoughts.Originally posted by SumOne:Since her, I've continued to give myself chance with others. I never once denied myself the oppurtunity to be with someone else. It's just that on nights like these, I think about her and not someone else.
You said "Since her, I've continued to give myself chance with others. I never once denied myself the oppurtunity to be with someone else" then I would advise you not to give up the thoughts of her. The thoughts are like precious music that only you can hear. We cannot always have what we want and I am sincerely thankful that we cannot always have what we want. If we always have what we want, we will never have nights like these, when we think about "her" and nobody else.
Be so thankful that she came into your life. Cherish the thoughts. -
Look for other missed chances... and your life will be filled with beautiful thoughts sometimes of this girl and sometimes of another one...
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most folks here say "let go stop thinking of her", i agree that's sensible thing to do. however don't be too hard on yourself if you can't keep her off your mind. i'm sure there's a good reason you think of her till now after so long -"she's a wonderful lady" and has good qualities which you particularly admire.Originally posted by SumOne:Since her, I've continued to give myself chance with others. I never once denied myself the oppurtunity to be with someone else. It's just that on nights like these, I think about her and not someone else.
I don't think I would have evil thoughts, she's a wonderful lady.
just don't let the attachment stop you from finding other happiness. its all part and parcel of xiang1 si1 (lovesickness) which happens to us once in a while. -
Hi....
Thanks all for the advices. Appreciate them. A little late, but I just want to say thanks.
Just thought of her again..... nice pleasant thoughts.
Silly me.
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Why bother i do have countless failure...
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It's just that this one bugs me the most...... Or rather, it doesn't exactly bug me. But I still think of her. I've accepted that she will always be special to me. Hope she has the best life with or without me.Originally posted by soulwinner:Why bother i do have countless failure... -
She holds a special place in your heart, but you are not doing any justice to yourself, her and other future potential mates you might come across by harping on hopes and ifs and comparisons.Originally posted by SumOne:It's just that this one bugs me the most...... Or rather, it doesn't exactly bug me. But I still think of her. I've accepted that she will always be special to me. Hope she has the best life with or without me.
She is she, other gals are other gals. By thinking of her well being and wishing her well and other stuffs so much more than your focusing on the current one will only cause you to be less attentive to the current person's personal feelings and sensitivity. That is being unfair to both her and the current person. She is in 'good' hands. Take heart in that fact you believe to be.
Give yourself and the current person another chance. I too have held a person close in my heart for 5 long years that it blinded me from many other opportunities and great devotion and love towards others.
Let it go. When you still cannot let go, you will only hurt yourself and the current person more than you know. No human is control of any possible situation. She cannot read your intentions (unless you SHOW it to her) and will not reciprocate the way you expected.
Have faith in her, the current person and most of all, yourself. -
Put it this way, u still think of the good time and her good points, in r/s this is always the sweetest thing in the beginning.
If that r/s really start off at that time maybe thing will be diff, she might not suit u or u might find many different you both r.
Unless u tell me that both have gone through thick and thin than that is another story. -
HiOriginally posted by SumOne:Do you ever still mule over failed chances to be with somebody or chase after somebody? Do you still think about what might have been if only you had gotten it right then? Do you still get angry with yourself at blowing a chance?
It's been years for me already, this friend of mine from school last time. She was a nice girl, popular, friendly, pretty. Most of all, she seemed comfortable around me. We had some common friends, so it was quite easy to meet her and we attended a lot of lectures together.
My friends and her friends were actually trying to match make us, and even people who didn't know us well expected us to be a couple. My friends had even said,"She's a good catch and she seems like your type of girl."
I kept thinking about her and couldn't sleep at times just remembering the day's events spent with her. I could spend my entire days just looking at her lovely face.
But alas, I lost myself and started acting uncharecteristically. She got scared I guess and before I knew it, she was with someone else. There were even friends who after knewing she was attached, asked out loud,"What about him?" Which was referring to me.
She's changed boyfriends since then, and I can see she's really found joy with her current boyfriend. I'm really happy for her and I'm glad the guy can look after her welll, and I would think better than me.
But till today, I still wonder to myself on late nights about what could have been. I still think about the things I should have done and the things I shouldn't or rather should have said.
We stayed friends even after I confessed to her and I really thank her for that. Close friends even and I was really glad because I thought I'd lost a dear friend. But we've drifted apart since then and she has her own life now and I have mine. But like I said, I still think about our short time together and I ask myself,why?
I have a similar experience. Let me tell you my story. Maybe this will help you a lot in time to come. I know this may sound unbelievable but it has happened to me. I have known this gal since JC. It has been more than 12 years since I have lost touch with her after I came out from JC and about to be enlisted. She was my neighbour that time and I would sometimes go to the same JC with her. We are not considered a couple (more like secret admirer). Probably both of us have our own issues that time; I have to study hard to get into university (int the end, my "A" level results has enabled me to go to one of the top engineering university in the world) while she is still studying hard to want to make it to her course of choice. I guess that time I have made the right decision not to pursue her but just to solely concentrate on my studies. I guess she also does not take a fancy of me considering I am quite nerdy that time....=p We have lost touch since I have shifted and 10-12 years back and the hp and internet is not prevalently used.
Fastforward 12 years to the present; I recently caught up with her by sheer accident and realised that we have attained/achieved similar education background, character, motivation and attitude towards our own goals and life. We both have attained our Hons degrees and our masters. She is working towards her 2nd while I am working towards my professional qualification and also embarking on my 2nd masters. (I have worked as an engineer and subsequently switched into the finance industry).
However the thing is that she was about to get married; we still have a great time together chatting about the past 12 years what has happened to our lives and the memories of her is still deeply entrenched in my mind. In terms of comparing our "resume" and character, we might consider the perfect match; a pair in a million; but I believe that she will do the right thing (since she has agreed to marry the other person and she is not young anymore), and I also know that I should leave her alone and lead my own life. However, the thought of missed chances always crops up.
Everything is fated. Initially I do not believe in fate until I met up with her again. The most important thing is everyone has to move on in life. I guess for your case, it is still having that lingering feeling. I can understand that because sometimes I felt that too especially during the pockets of time when I am not working, studying or even pursuing my hobbies. Trust me, after 8-10 years, when you guys were to meet up again, you would have been happily settled down and so would she and by that time, nothing else matters other than your families. Most important thing now is to establish your career. Build up your confidence and self esteem by attending part-time degrees/masters/courses if you are working right now or broaden your social circle.
I had left a good and memorable impression in her and I would prefer to stay it that way. She also told me that this was one chapter in her life that she would remember and in time would tell her children and grandchildren about our meeting and encounter again after all these years.
Stop brooding over it. Improve yourself tremendously so that in time she will regret not being with you. Time can be your most powerful fren (if you make full use of it) or it can be your worst enemy (if you still brood about it and wasting time). It takes time as I have been through it but I told myself to move on and achieve whatever goals that I can possibly achieve. -
I been through it often.. so i tell myself..
I will success which i have now.. -
Don't think of the regrets in the past, grab hold of the present...
