thanks.Originally posted by mistyblue:welcome to the club.
just curious. what is your star sign?Originally posted by Gunyandao:is there a connection between the two?
my mood is very unstable and everyday things i see, hear or the environment i am exposed to can affect my mood greatly.
like someone saying not so favourable things, angry gestures, facial expressions , or a new environment i am not used to for example can leave me very down, hurt and depress.
i will then feel like shutting myself in my own world, unable to focus on what i am doing, even completely losing interest in what i intend to do n dwell over what happened.
i do have very very low self esteem due to those very harsh condemning words i was frequently exposed to as a kid.
i am not sure whether mine is solely a self esteem problem or it is due to some other disorder like mood disorder or is it because some unpleasant things i was exposed to everyday could remind me of those so called trauma i was exposed to as a kid that's why i ended up depress
aries...Originally posted by wuming78:just curious. what is your star sign?
I can understand what you may be describing in regards to early age childhood trama which can lead to some of the problems you have described above:Originally posted by Gunyandao:is there a connection between the two?
my mood is very unstable and everyday things i see, hear or the environment i am exposed to can affect my mood greatly.
like someone saying not so favourable things, angry gestures, facial expressions , or a new environment i am not used to for example can leave me very down, hurt and depress.
i will then feel like shutting myself in my own world, unable to focus on what i am doing, even completely losing interest in what i intend to do n dwell over what happened.
i do have very very low self esteem due to those very harsh condemning words i was frequently exposed to as a kid.
i am not sure whether mine is solely a self esteem problem or it is due to some other disorder like mood disorder or is it because some unpleasant things i was exposed to everyday could remind me of those so called trauma i was exposed to as a kid that's why i ended up depress
Mind if I ask since when you've been feeling that way?Originally posted by Gunyandao:is there a connection between the two?
my mood is very unstable and everyday things i see, hear or the environment i am exposed to can affect my mood greatly.
like someone saying not so favourable things, angry gestures, facial expressions , or a new environment i am not used to for example can leave me very down, hurt and depress.
i will then feel like shutting myself in my own world, unable to focus on what i am doing, even completely losing interest in what i intend to do n dwell over what happened.
i do have very very low self esteem due to those very harsh condemning words i was frequently exposed to as a kid.
i am not sure whether mine is solely a self esteem problem or it is due to some other disorder like mood disorder or is it because some unpleasant things i was exposed to everyday could remind me of those so called trauma i was exposed to as a kid that's why i ended up depress
If you think it's feasible, why haven't you tried it yet?Originally posted by Eric Cartman:can try suicide
been feeling this way as long as i can remember.Originally posted by Devil1976:Mind if I ask since when you've been feeling that way?
AMind if I ask since when you've been feeling that way?
And just what happened to you when you were younger...?
Originally posted by Life is Precious:very useful passage you contributed.
I can understand what you may be describing in regards to early age childhood trama which can lead to some of the problems you have described above:
1) sensitivity of the reaction and response of others.
2) high sense of self consciousness
3) lack of self confidence or a sense of a lack of control
4) easily irritated or mood swings as you described.
I have gone through the same problems at a younger age and have learned to look pass them and lead my live beyond the expectations of others. which in short is the key.
Some early age trama can indeed leave behind shadows that lure in the corners of our memories and affect us into adulthood or even late into our working lives. First thing you might need to understand is that.
[b] You are not alone
Though you may have heard of this before, but i will say it again.
You cannot afford to live your life based on your past and often the only way to look is forward should you choose to continue down the goals in your journey in life.
I will try to give a few practical things/excerise you can attempt.
1) First, write down on paper what are your goals in life and simple step you can take to accomplish them. Having something to work towards helps us to concentrate your time towards the task.
2) Pick up a hobby that you can participate on an individual basis, eg like reading. Gaming was mineThis can serve as a form of escape or spending some time for yourself. Group activity should be reserved amoung friends intially until you become more confident with others who you do not know very well.
3) Learn to excerise mental health. You can do this by setting time aside for yourself to do the things you enjoy. This is very important as it is very depressing to constantly feel that you are always under pressure to others and having no time for yourself.
4) Acknowledge you have a problem. Dont be shy to talk about your problems with family or friends. It may not get rid of the problem or lessen the suffering in the past, but it will give you closure and the courage to move on.
5) Seening less can be best. I am not sure if you wear glasses, but as a rule for me, i take off my glasses back in the days when i would become easily annoyed so that i see less of the things that annoy meDoing this will make things around you blurry but remember why would you want to look at something that annoys you clearly or all the time. Being able to listen often is enough to convey information needed. This can be done until you become desensitized towards the reaction of others and infact learn to use your skills of reading body language to your advantage. What you may see as a handicap may infact be your gift in this way.
6) Finally, your notion of Self. I can understand that it is often easily to feel hurt and angry about why things happen to you the way they did and why the people around you dont understand your feelings. I can understand also that it is easier to build walls around yourself and shut others out. Often it will make you feel better, at least you wont risk ending up hurt.
However, seening the reasons for the above it is often easy to dismiss everything about you and focus on your notion of "Self" but at one point or another you have to realise that though doing so is easy, in truth life is hard and full of contradictions. You live for yourself yet you also live for others. Our lives are not always our own. Understanding of how you should lead your life will not ever come from what others will tell you but only from your own revelations. All the answers you ever need in life exist, you merely need to discover and learn it for yourself.
best regards,
L.i.P[/b]
Don't play doctor and patient over your own well-being...replies here may be well-intended (at least of them are)...but I second dragg's advise...Originally posted by Gunyandao:is there a connection between the two?
my mood is very unstable and everyday things i see, hear or the environment i am exposed to can affect my mood greatly.
like someone saying not so favourable things, angry gestures, facial expressions , or a new environment i am not used to for example can leave me very down, hurt and depress.
i will then feel like shutting myself in my own world, unable to focus on what i am doing, even completely losing interest in what i intend to do n dwell over what happened.
i do have very very low self esteem due to those very harsh condemning words i was frequently exposed to as a kid.
i am not sure whether mine is solely a self esteem problem or it is due to some other disorder like mood disorder or is it because some unpleasant things i was exposed to everyday could remind me of those so called trauma i was exposed to as a kid that's why i ended up depress
1st thing. Yes, I would agree with what the other forumites have suggested. Seek PROFESSIONAL HELP. Soon if you can?Originally posted by Gunyandao:been feeling this way as long as i can remember.
i suffered emotional abuse, traumas as a kid for 7-8 years till the age of 12.
exposed to hurting words daily, being bullied, threatened, being screamed and shout at, names calling, keep on putting down by the abuser in front of family members, relatives, in public places in front of a whole bunch of on looking strangers or whatever. nobody including my parents are able to stop the abuser and most of the time they do nothing.
if u have been through NS, for example imagine your very fierce and unreasonable RSM see you as a torn in his eye, picking you out for no reason, jump, scream and shout and call you names and verbally abused you in front of everyone who is present. doing that everyday.
mine is a rather complex case, been for counseling before but don't feel it works and stop going already. i feel i might have to go for professional help.
i do have severe anxiety and counseller told me it is highly likely i am suffering from mood swing.
after reading up on avoidant personality disorder(APD)
i seems to fit into the category who have APD meeting all the following criteria:
1. Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection.
2. Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked.
3. Shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed.
4. Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations.
5. Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy.
6. Views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others.
7. Is usually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because of potential embarrassment.
i tend to get over emotional and cannot act rationally, as in making rash decisions i will regret later on for example.
i am not aggressive in nature and most of the time my mood swings from normal to depress.
most of the time i just wish my world will just come to an end.
Nothing is too expensive compared to your health.Originally posted by sheri:Aiyo...go doctor very expensive ah....or cheaper is read self -help books ?
Actually you are not alone, that day I was in a good mood (Coz have something on after work), than just talk to this bitchy colleague, just one sentence really spoilt my mood manz. That menopausal colleauge. But when u are not happy, pretend u are happy. Go to the toilet or wat, give a big smile. Dun let those unhappy freaks of nature hurt / spoil your mood. Those freaks are the unbalanced one.
Not sure wat aspects of life you are not really happy about ? E.g. your looks=> Go and improve it, your figure => go and excercise , detestable people => avoid them if possible , boring job => change job...wah life is full of possibilities ....be happy okie![]()
wow....very nice to read reply like yours.Originally posted by sheri:Aiyo...go doctor very expensive ah....or cheaper is read self -help books ?
Actually you are not alone, that day I was in a good mood (Coz have something on after work), than just talk to this bitchy colleague, just one sentence really spoilt my mood manz. That menopausal colleauge. But when u are not happy, pretend u are happy. Go to the toilet or wat, give a big smile. Dun let those unhappy freaks of nature hurt / spoil your mood. Those freaks are the unbalanced one.
Not sure wat aspects of life you are not really happy about ? E.g. your looks=> Go and improve it, your figure => go and excercise , detestable people => avoid them if possible , boring job => change job...wah life is full of possibilities ....be happy okie![]()
Pick up some hobbies or things ya like to do... Do it one step at a time...Originally posted by Gunyandao:wow....very nice to read reply like yours.
seems that u r one of those happy go lucky kind of person? those who always look on the bright side of things.
i always envy who have that kind of character, personality.
i been pessimistic for too long. yah, time to work hard and learn to take things easy and be happy again
ho
Seems you have been brought up through such experiences. Thus every time someone pass certain kinds of remarks, it will remind you of the past experiences you had and trigger your reactions prior to your youth response.Originally posted by Gunyandao:is there a connection between the two?
my mood is very unstable and everyday things i see, hear or the environment i am exposed to can affect my mood greatly.
like someone saying not so favourable things, angry gestures, facial expressions , or a new environment i am not used to for example can leave me very down, hurt and depress.
i will then feel like shutting myself in my own world, unable to focus on what i am doing, even completely losing interest in what i intend to do n dwell over what happened.
i do have very very low self esteem due to those very harsh condemning words i was frequently exposed to as a kid.
i am not sure whether mine is solely a self esteem problem or it is due to some other disorder like mood disorder or is it because some unpleasant things i was exposed to everyday could remind me of those so called trauma i was exposed to as a kid that's why i ended up depress
yah. in a way i am very sensitive to some comments people make about me, regarding my behaviour and stuffs. or some of those condemning words that are so often used on me as a kid.Originally posted by Bontakun:Seems you have been brought up through such experiences. Thus every time someone pass certain kinds of remarks, it will remind you of the past experiences you had and trigger your reactions prior to your youth response.
From what I see, its not alot on mood disorder. More on how the past experiences have moulded into you to behave this way for hear you would come across a situation where you had encountered in your younger days.
Perhaps you can try telling someone about your past experiences or how you feel everytime someone pass a certain remark to you?
Its good you are moving forward or trying to do so. If you have difficulty, you can get a friend to help you along.Originally posted by Gunyandao:yah. in a way i am very sensitive to some comments people make about me, regarding my behaviour and stuffs. or some of those condemning words that are so often used on me as a kid.
i am not good at expressing how i feel all my life. . in a way probably becoz i wasn't really close to anyone, even my parents as a kid.
everyone just wonder why i am so quiet? why i so anti social, don't like to mix with people etc etc
i remembered every time i was being screamed, shouted at with the most demoralizing words anyone wants to hear, i just simply end u crying softly, in one corner, or if didn't end up in tears, i will just go back retreat to my room, trying to recover from it. then after a while, i will have to brace up and pretend that nothing happens just in case i get mocked at for crying.
i am taking steps learning to be a happy person again. i wasted too much time feeling depress, down, sad which was my outlook in life all my life. i have to move forward.
i hardly communicate with anyone in my family. normally just normal conversation surrounding work and stuffs, apart from that mostly i just keep to myself.when i was a kid and being bullied by that someone in my family, a number of times i try telling my mother i feel very sad hearing those things, she just brush me off.Originally posted by Bontakun:Its good you are moving forward or trying to do so. If you have difficulty, you can get a friend to help you along.
As for your experiences and such, you may have to talk to your parents about it. It might not be now, it might not be within this year, but you have to talk to them. If the relationship within a family cannot be bonded, it will have implications on bonding relationship with people outside your family.