highly sensitive person and mood swing
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is there a connection between the two?
my mood is very unstable and everyday things i see, hear or the environment i am exposed to can affect my mood greatly.
like someone saying not so favourable things, angry gestures, facial expressions , or a new environment i am not used to for example can leave me very down, hurt and depress.
i will then feel like shutting myself in my own world, unable to focus on what i am doing, even completely losing interest in what i intend to do n dwell over what happened.
i do have very very low self esteem due to those very harsh condemning words i was frequently exposed to as a kid.
i am not sure whether mine is solely a self esteem problem or it is due to some other disorder like mood disorder or is it because some unpleasant things i was exposed to everyday could remind me of those so called trauma i was exposed to as a kid that's why i ended up depress -
welcome to the club.
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can try suicide
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thanks.Originally posted by mistyblue:welcome to the club.
was a member already quite long ago but seldom start threads. -
just curious. what is your star sign?Originally posted by Gunyandao:is there a connection between the two?
my mood is very unstable and everyday things i see, hear or the environment i am exposed to can affect my mood greatly.
like someone saying not so favourable things, angry gestures, facial expressions , or a new environment i am not used to for example can leave me very down, hurt and depress.
i will then feel like shutting myself in my own world, unable to focus on what i am doing, even completely losing interest in what i intend to do n dwell over what happened.
i do have very very low self esteem due to those very harsh condemning words i was frequently exposed to as a kid.
i am not sure whether mine is solely a self esteem problem or it is due to some other disorder like mood disorder or is it because some unpleasant things i was exposed to everyday could remind me of those so called trauma i was exposed to as a kid that's why i ended up depress -
aries...Originally posted by wuming78:just curious. what is your star sign? -
er........ u just need to control your emotion better, don't let it take control of you, the reason why i was Pes E is due to the fact that i suffer from personality disorder and impulsive behavior, i practically snap at anything that gets in my way, even my parents, even when i was in NS, i was out of control to the fact that i could eat that person alive, the one time, that i snap so crazy is when i was being teased at school so much i can't stand it anymore, i grab a chair and almost slam it at one person, the person was holding on to the leg of the chair and so frighten. and luckily one of the classmate was grabbing me from the back, otherwise i would had, make sure that person land in the hospital, and there was one teacher, so don't ever let your emotion gain control over you, or you might just say things that will hurt other people feelings. It took me years to learn how to control my feeling better, and till now, i have to remind myself not to let the old demon overcome me.How old are you? if u are under 18, i would suggest that you pay a visit to child guidance clinic, seek professional help when young. I learn from the hard ways, being through hell when i was younger, i even went to detention barrack, still that didn't change me at all, till the day, i step out to the working society and the day, i meet my ex. And the break up was the wake up call for me to learn to control my emotions better
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I can understand what you may be describing in regards to early age childhood trama which can lead to some of the problems you have described above:Originally posted by Gunyandao:is there a connection between the two?
my mood is very unstable and everyday things i see, hear or the environment i am exposed to can affect my mood greatly.
like someone saying not so favourable things, angry gestures, facial expressions , or a new environment i am not used to for example can leave me very down, hurt and depress.
i will then feel like shutting myself in my own world, unable to focus on what i am doing, even completely losing interest in what i intend to do n dwell over what happened.
i do have very very low self esteem due to those very harsh condemning words i was frequently exposed to as a kid.
i am not sure whether mine is solely a self esteem problem or it is due to some other disorder like mood disorder or is it because some unpleasant things i was exposed to everyday could remind me of those so called trauma i was exposed to as a kid that's why i ended up depress
1) sensitivity of the reaction and response of others.
2) high sense of self consciousness
3) lack of self confidence or a sense of a lack of control
4) easily irritated or mood swings as you described.
I have gone through the same problems at a younger age and have learned to look pass them and lead my live beyond the expectations of others. which in short is the key.
Some early age trama can indeed leave behind shadows that lure in the corners of our memories and affect us into adulthood or even late into our working lives. First thing you might need to understand is that.
You are not alone
Though you may have heard of this before, but i will say it again.
You cannot afford to live your life based on your past and often the only way to look is forward should you choose to continue down the goals in your journey in life.
I will try to give a few practical things/excerise you can attempt.
1) First, write down on paper what are your goals in life and simple step you can take to accomplish them. Having something to work towards helps us to concentrate your time towards the task.
2) Pick up a hobby that you can participate on an individual basis, eg like reading. Gaming was mine
This can serve as a form of escape or spending some time for yourself. Group activity should be reserved amoung friends intially until you become more confident with others who you do not know very well.
3) Learn to excerise mental health. You can do this by setting time aside for yourself to do the things you enjoy. This is very important as it is very depressing to constantly feel that you are always under pressure to others and having no time for yourself.
4) Acknowledge you have a problem. Dont be shy to talk about your problems with family or friends. It may not get rid of the problem or lessen the suffering in the past, but it will give you closure and the courage to move on.
5) Seening less can be best. I am not sure if you wear glasses, but as a rule for me, i take off my glasses back in the days when i would become easily annoyed so that i see less of the things that annoy me Doing this will make things around you blurry but remember why would you want to look at something that annoys you clearly or all the time. Being able to listen often is enough to convey information needed. This can be done until you become desensitized towards the reaction of others and infact learn to use your skills of reading body language to your advantage. What you may see as a handicap may infact be your gift in this way.
6) Finally, your notion of Self. I can understand that it is often easily to feel hurt and angry about why things happen to you the way they did and why the people around you dont understand your feelings. I can understand also that it is easier to build walls around yourself and shut others out. Often it will make you feel better, at least you wont risk ending up hurt.
However, seening the reasons for the above it is often easy to dismiss everything about you and focus on your notion of "Self" but at one point or another you have to realise that though doing so is easy, in truth life is hard and full of contradictions. You live for yourself yet you also live for others. Our lives are not always our own. Understanding of how you should lead your life will not ever come from what others will tell you but only from your own revelations. All the answers you ever need in life exist, you merely need to discover and learn it for yourself.
best regards,
L.i.P -
Mind if I ask since when you've been feeling that way?Originally posted by Gunyandao:is there a connection between the two?
my mood is very unstable and everyday things i see, hear or the environment i am exposed to can affect my mood greatly.
like someone saying not so favourable things, angry gestures, facial expressions , or a new environment i am not used to for example can leave me very down, hurt and depress.
i will then feel like shutting myself in my own world, unable to focus on what i am doing, even completely losing interest in what i intend to do n dwell over what happened.
i do have very very low self esteem due to those very harsh condemning words i was frequently exposed to as a kid.
i am not sure whether mine is solely a self esteem problem or it is due to some other disorder like mood disorder or is it because some unpleasant things i was exposed to everyday could remind me of those so called trauma i was exposed to as a kid that's why i ended up depress
And just what happened to you when you were younger...? -
If you think it's feasible, why haven't you tried it yet?Originally posted by Eric Cartman:can try suicide
If you need help, pls start your own thread... -
been feeling this way as long as i can remember.Originally posted by Devil1976:Mind if I ask since when you've been feeling that way?
AMind if I ask since when you've been feeling that way?
And just what happened to you when you were younger...?
i suffered emotional abuse, traumas as a kid for 7-8 years till the age of 12.
exposed to hurting words daily, being bullied, threatened, being screamed and shout at, names calling, keep on putting down by the abuser in front of family members, relatives, in public places in front of a whole bunch of on looking strangers or whatever. nobody including my parents are able to stop the abuser and most of the time they do nothing.
if u have been through NS, for example imagine your very fierce and unreasonable RSM see you as a torn in his eye, picking you out for no reason, jump, scream and shout and call you names and verbally abused you in front of everyone who is present. doing that everyday.
mine is a rather complex case, been for counseling before but don't feel it works and stop going already. i feel i might have to go for professional help.
i do have severe anxiety and counseller told me it is highly likely i am suffering from mood swing.
after reading up on avoidant personality disorder(APD)
i seems to fit into the category who have APD meeting all the following criteria:
1. Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection.
2. Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked.
3. Shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed.
4. Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations.
5. Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy.
6. Views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others.
7. Is usually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because of potential embarrassment.
i tend to get over emotional and cannot act rationally, as in making rash decisions i will regret later on for example.
i am not aggressive in nature and most of the time my mood swings from normal to depress.
most of the time i just wish my world will just come to an end. -
better to consult a doctor.
-
Originally posted by Life is Precious:
very useful passage you contributed.
I can understand what you may be describing in regards to early age childhood trama which can lead to some of the problems you have described above:
1) sensitivity of the reaction and response of others.
2) high sense of self consciousness
3) lack of self confidence or a sense of a lack of control
4) easily irritated or mood swings as you described.
I have gone through the same problems at a younger age and have learned to look pass them and lead my live beyond the expectations of others. which in short is the key.
Some early age trama can indeed leave behind shadows that lure in the corners of our memories and affect us into adulthood or even late into our working lives. First thing you might need to understand is that.
[b] You are not alone
Though you may have heard of this before, but i will say it again.
You cannot afford to live your life based on your past and often the only way to look is forward should you choose to continue down the goals in your journey in life.
I will try to give a few practical things/excerise you can attempt.
1) First, write down on paper what are your goals in life and simple step you can take to accomplish them. Having something to work towards helps us to concentrate your time towards the task.
2) Pick up a hobby that you can participate on an individual basis, eg like reading. Gaming was mine This can serve as a form of escape or spending some time for yourself. Group activity should be reserved amoung friends intially until you become more confident with others who you do not know very well.
3) Learn to excerise mental health. You can do this by setting time aside for yourself to do the things you enjoy. This is very important as it is very depressing to constantly feel that you are always under pressure to others and having no time for yourself.
4) Acknowledge you have a problem. Dont be shy to talk about your problems with family or friends. It may not get rid of the problem or lessen the suffering in the past, but it will give you closure and the courage to move on.
5) Seening less can be best. I am not sure if you wear glasses, but as a rule for me, i take off my glasses back in the days when i would become easily annoyed so that i see less of the things that annoy me Doing this will make things around you blurry but remember why would you want to look at something that annoys you clearly or all the time. Being able to listen often is enough to convey information needed. This can be done until you become desensitized towards the reaction of others and infact learn to use your skills of reading body language to your advantage. What you may see as a handicap may infact be your gift in this way.
6) Finally, your notion of Self. I can understand that it is often easily to feel hurt and angry about why things happen to you the way they did and why the people around you dont understand your feelings. I can understand also that it is easier to build walls around yourself and shut others out. Often it will make you feel better, at least you wont risk ending up hurt.
However, seening the reasons for the above it is often easy to dismiss everything about you and focus on your notion of "Self" but at one point or another you have to realise that though doing so is easy, in truth life is hard and full of contradictions. You live for yourself yet you also live for others. Our lives are not always our own. Understanding of how you should lead your life will not ever come from what others will tell you but only from your own revelations. All the answers you ever need in life exist, you merely need to discover and learn it for yourself.
best regards,
L.i.P[/b]
yah, hope i can learn from you.
my self esteem is way too low and i need to build up from there.
i felt disgusted with myself and wish i never even exist.
i have this mindset i am a born loser and people are disgusted to be associated with me.
i never have a goal in life.
anyway, time to move on. time for a change perhaps. -
Don't play doctor and patient over your own well-being...replies here may be well-intended (at least of them are)...but I second dragg's advise...Originally posted by Gunyandao:is there a connection between the two?
my mood is very unstable and everyday things i see, hear or the environment i am exposed to can affect my mood greatly.
like someone saying not so favourable things, angry gestures, facial expressions , or a new environment i am not used to for example can leave me very down, hurt and depress.
i will then feel like shutting myself in my own world, unable to focus on what i am doing, even completely losing interest in what i intend to do n dwell over what happened.
i do have very very low self esteem due to those very harsh condemning words i was frequently exposed to as a kid.
i am not sure whether mine is solely a self esteem problem or it is due to some other disorder like mood disorder or is it because some unpleasant things i was exposed to everyday could remind me of those so called trauma i was exposed to as a kid that's why i ended up depress
Seek professional help -
1st thing. Yes, I would agree with what the other forumites have suggested. Seek PROFESSIONAL HELP. Soon if you can?Originally posted by Gunyandao:been feeling this way as long as i can remember.
i suffered emotional abuse, traumas as a kid for 7-8 years till the age of 12.
exposed to hurting words daily, being bullied, threatened, being screamed and shout at, names calling, keep on putting down by the abuser in front of family members, relatives, in public places in front of a whole bunch of on looking strangers or whatever. nobody including my parents are able to stop the abuser and most of the time they do nothing.
if u have been through NS, for example imagine your very fierce and unreasonable RSM see you as a torn in his eye, picking you out for no reason, jump, scream and shout and call you names and verbally abused you in front of everyone who is present. doing that everyday.
mine is a rather complex case, been for counseling before but don't feel it works and stop going already. i feel i might have to go for professional help.
i do have severe anxiety and counseller told me it is highly likely i am suffering from mood swing.
after reading up on avoidant personality disorder(APD)
i seems to fit into the category who have APD meeting all the following criteria:
1. Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection.
2. Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked.
3. Shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed.
4. Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations.
5. Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy.
6. Views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others.
7. Is usually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because of potential embarrassment.
i tend to get over emotional and cannot act rationally, as in making rash decisions i will regret later on for example.
i am not aggressive in nature and most of the time my mood swings from normal to depress.
most of the time i just wish my world will just come to an end.
Counselling. How long have you been on it? I doubt it's totally useless at all, if not you might not have even realised you're having APD?
Is that abuser your grandparent?
Is the abuser still alive today?
Is so, where is he / she? -
Remember, no human condition is ever permanent. Then you will not be overjoyed in good fortune nor too scornful in misfortune. -Socrate
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Aiyo...go doctor very expensive ah....or cheaper is read self -help books ?
Actually you are not alone, that day I was in a good mood (Coz have something on after work), than just talk to this bitchy colleague, just one sentence really spoilt my mood manz. That menopausal colleauge. But when u are not happy, pretend u are happy. Go to the toilet or wat, give a big smile. Dun let those unhappy freaks of nature hurt / spoil your mood. Those freaks are the unbalanced one.
Not sure wat aspects of life you are not really happy about ? E.g. your looks=> Go and improve it, your figure => go and excercise , detestable people => avoid them if possible , boring job => change job...wah life is full of possibilities ....be happy okie
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Opps I missed your earlier threads. The abuser is too much,
so evil. If the abuser is still alive, go confront the abuser and let it all out. If dead tell yourself that the abuser was a sad, miserable, lonely soul who wanted to make life miserable for u. But u are still alive , dun let a dead dog create "blocks" in your life. Why let a selfish, miserable soul affect u. U must lead a life much happier than he / she was, and not fall into the trap. I think I will even go to the grave of the person, and scold the person. Let it all out.
Err...actually I also have some "ticks" against your list lei....haha. The more u think you are not happy, the more unhappy u are .
1. Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection.
2. Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked.
4. Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations.
5. Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy.
6. Views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others. -
Nothing is too expensive compared to your health.Originally posted by sheri:Aiyo...go doctor very expensive ah....or cheaper is read self -help books ?
Actually you are not alone, that day I was in a good mood (Coz have something on after work), than just talk to this bitchy colleague, just one sentence really spoilt my mood manz. That menopausal colleauge. But when u are not happy, pretend u are happy. Go to the toilet or wat, give a big smile. Dun let those unhappy freaks of nature hurt / spoil your mood. Those freaks are the unbalanced one.
Not sure wat aspects of life you are not really happy about ? E.g. your looks=> Go and improve it, your figure => go and excercise , detestable people => avoid them if possible , boring job => change job...wah life is full of possibilities ....be happy okie -
wow....very nice to read reply like yours.Originally posted by sheri:Aiyo...go doctor very expensive ah....or cheaper is read self -help books ?
Actually you are not alone, that day I was in a good mood (Coz have something on after work), than just talk to this bitchy colleague, just one sentence really spoilt my mood manz. That menopausal colleauge. But when u are not happy, pretend u are happy. Go to the toilet or wat, give a big smile. Dun let those unhappy freaks of nature hurt / spoil your mood. Those freaks are the unbalanced one.
Not sure wat aspects of life you are not really happy about ? E.g. your looks=> Go and improve it, your figure => go and excercise , detestable people => avoid them if possible , boring job => change job...wah life is full of possibilities ....be happy okie
seems that u r one of those happy go lucky kind of person? those who always look on the bright side of things.
i always envy who have that kind of character, personality.
i been pessimistic for too long. yah, time to work hard and learn to take things easy and be happy again
ho -
Pick up some hobbies or things ya like to do... Do it one step at a time...Originally posted by Gunyandao:wow....very nice to read reply like yours.
seems that u r one of those happy go lucky kind of person? those who always look on the bright side of things.
i always envy who have that kind of character, personality.
i been pessimistic for too long. yah, time to work hard and learn to take things easy and be happy again
ho
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Seems you have been brought up through such experiences. Thus every time someone pass certain kinds of remarks, it will remind you of the past experiences you had and trigger your reactions prior to your youth response.Originally posted by Gunyandao:is there a connection between the two?
my mood is very unstable and everyday things i see, hear or the environment i am exposed to can affect my mood greatly.
like someone saying not so favourable things, angry gestures, facial expressions , or a new environment i am not used to for example can leave me very down, hurt and depress.
i will then feel like shutting myself in my own world, unable to focus on what i am doing, even completely losing interest in what i intend to do n dwell over what happened.
i do have very very low self esteem due to those very harsh condemning words i was frequently exposed to as a kid.
i am not sure whether mine is solely a self esteem problem or it is due to some other disorder like mood disorder or is it because some unpleasant things i was exposed to everyday could remind me of those so called trauma i was exposed to as a kid that's why i ended up depress
From what I see, its not alot on mood disorder. More on how the past experiences have moulded into you to behave this way for hear you would come across a situation where you had encountered in your younger days.
Perhaps you can try telling someone about your past experiences or how you feel everytime someone pass a certain remark to you? -
yah. in a way i am very sensitive to some comments people make about me, regarding my behaviour and stuffs. or some of those condemning words that are so often used on me as a kid.Originally posted by Bontakun:Seems you have been brought up through such experiences. Thus every time someone pass certain kinds of remarks, it will remind you of the past experiences you had and trigger your reactions prior to your youth response.
From what I see, its not alot on mood disorder. More on how the past experiences have moulded into you to behave this way for hear you would come across a situation where you had encountered in your younger days.
Perhaps you can try telling someone about your past experiences or how you feel everytime someone pass a certain remark to you?
i am not good at expressing how i feel all my life. . in a way probably becoz i wasn't really close to anyone, even my parents as a kid.
everyone just wonder why i am so quiet? why i so anti social, don't like to mix with people etc etc
i remembered every time i was being screamed, shouted at with the most demoralizing words anyone wants to hear, i just simply end u crying softly, in one corner, or if didn't end up in tears, i will just go back retreat to my room, trying to recover from it. then after a while, i will have to brace up and pretend that nothing happens just in case i get mocked at for crying.
i am taking steps learning to be a happy person again. i wasted too much time feeling depress, down, sad which was my outlook in life all my life. i have to move forward. -
Its good you are moving forward or trying to do so. If you have difficulty, you can get a friend to help you along.Originally posted by Gunyandao:yah. in a way i am very sensitive to some comments people make about me, regarding my behaviour and stuffs. or some of those condemning words that are so often used on me as a kid.
i am not good at expressing how i feel all my life. . in a way probably becoz i wasn't really close to anyone, even my parents as a kid.
everyone just wonder why i am so quiet? why i so anti social, don't like to mix with people etc etc
i remembered every time i was being screamed, shouted at with the most demoralizing words anyone wants to hear, i just simply end u crying softly, in one corner, or if didn't end up in tears, i will just go back retreat to my room, trying to recover from it. then after a while, i will have to brace up and pretend that nothing happens just in case i get mocked at for crying.
i am taking steps learning to be a happy person again. i wasted too much time feeling depress, down, sad which was my outlook in life all my life. i have to move forward.
As for your experiences and such, you may have to talk to your parents about it. It might not be now, it might not be within this year, but you have to talk to them. If the relationship within a family cannot be bonded, it will have implications on bonding relationship with people outside your family. -
i hardly communicate with anyone in my family. normally just normal conversation surrounding work and stuffs, apart from that mostly i just keep to myself.when i was a kid and being bullied by that someone in my family, a number of times i try telling my mother i feel very sad hearing those things, she just brush me off.Originally posted by Bontakun:Its good you are moving forward or trying to do so. If you have difficulty, you can get a friend to help you along.
As for your experiences and such, you may have to talk to your parents about it. It might not be now, it might not be within this year, but you have to talk to them. If the relationship within a family cannot be bonded, it will have implications on bonding relationship with people outside your family.
from then on, i never tell her or my father anything regarding my personal feelings for everything. i just keep to myself.
now if my parents tend to be a bit more concern about me, i feel really uneasy and it really gives me goose pimples. that's why i think it will be quite difficult to recall past unpleasant experience.
a few years back when i mentioned to my mother over all these abuse i suffered as a kid, she denied it, saying i remember wrongly, that no such things happen.
my father even worst, claim that i am talking rubbish.