your partner's past
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My gf and I got together in Aug 04, december 05 she left for the states for an exchange.. may 06, there was a period of time where she totally ignored my calls or my msn.. when she was back in june 06, she broke off w me.. and in july she went away again.. she came back in dec 06 and i asked her out.. the feeling was so right.. and we were together again.. we celebrated v-day on monday and we had an enjoyable time.. but there's some knots in me..
She always calls this guy whom she went to the states with for exchange a jerk.
I can feel it in my blood it has got to do with the period of ignorance in may..
I asked her," what happened in the states"
she replied," why you ask... shouldn't the past be buried.. aren't we starting anew?"
burying the past.. is this a form of excapism? isn't coming to terms what has happened in the past and truly letting go of the incident better? -
Its just my point of view. Maybe as of now she is still uneasy talking about that particular period for it was the time she broke off with you and something happened. Give her time and someday she will talk about it of her own accord. Do not ask her about it or give her pressure about this.Originally posted by ahhaoz:My gf and I got together in Aug 04, december 05 she left for the states for an exchange.. may 06, there was a period of time where she totally ignored my calls or my msn.. when she was back in june 06, she broke off w me.. and in july she went away again.. she came back in dec 06 and i asked her out.. the feeling was so right.. and we were together again.. we celebrated v-day on monday and we had an enjoyable time.. but there's some knots in me..
She always calls this guy whom she went to the states with for exchange a jerk.
I can feel it in my blood it has got to do with the period of ignorance in may..
I asked her," what happened in the states"
she replied," why you ask... shouldn't the past be buried.. aren't we starting anew?"
burying the past.. is this a form of excapism? isn't coming to terms what has happened in the past and truly letting go of the incident better?
I do not know how serious you 2 take this relationship of yours. Can get together, can break and get together again. It seems to me you 2 craved the company of each other. When there is smth else she will crave that at any cost and leaving you alone. You? I think you have not let it go as of yet.
I have a question for you: The feeling was so right that you 2 got together again. What if the feeling once again was gone like the time she ignored you or you ignored her? Please do not tell me that won't happen. It WILL. -
I can't stop her from going on exchange and overseas IA rite.? It would be selfish of me to do so. I support whatever she wishes to do..
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Seem like in tv. The gf is being rape. then broke off with bf, then patch again.
you know, in states, there is alot of rape cases.
Then this famous "why you ask... shouldn't the past be buried.. aren't we starting anew" sure got de. -
I mean..
Is there a difference between putting the past behind us and burying the past?
somebody correct me if i'm wrong..
but i believe the right way is putting the past behind us.. because putting it behind us means that both of us acknowledge what has happened and we both know it's a mistkae and something we don't want to commit again... and we know that putting the issue on our minds is detrimental .. thus putting it behind us.. not to bring up again. but learning a lesson from the mistakes we've made...
burying the past however.. means I never probe into it.. and we.. or she rather since i don't even know what it was about in the first place, bury it .. never to bring up again.. it's like escaping from something..
mimic to be like an ostrich sticking his head into the sand,
comments please.. thanx.. i'm very open to criticism.. please speak your mind.. -
girls..Originally posted by ahhaoz:My gf and I got together in Aug 04, december 05 she left for the states for an exchange.. may 06, there was a period of time where she totally ignored my calls or my msn.. when she was back in june 06, she broke off w me.. and in july she went away again.. she came back in dec 06 and i asked her out.. the feeling was so right.. and we were together again.. we celebrated v-day on monday and we had an enjoyable time.. but there's some knots in me..
She always calls this guy whom she went to the states with for exchange a jerk.
I can feel it in my blood it has got to do with the period of ignorance in may..
I asked her," what happened in the states"
she replied," why you ask... shouldn't the past be buried.. aren't we starting anew?"
burying the past.. is this a form of excapism? isn't coming to terms what has happened in the past and truly letting go of the incident better?
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You should just respect her wish to keep it buried, or whatever. No point digging it up, unless she wants to tell you on her own accord.
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Some things are better left unknown. Don't probe too much. If she wants you to know, she'll tell you. If not, maybe it's not time yet. Depends on how much you trust the girl lor. Everyone needs some personal space. Just trust that she's oso doing her best to handle her struggles which she and only she alone must tackle.
It would be better to just assure her that whatever happens, you'll be there for her.........
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Maybe not bothering about the past might be a good solution but you can try asking it out of curiousity...
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the truth will hurt if you find it out, do you actually, there is a thing called 'the right feelings', maybe she went to the states, and meet an ang moh, and she fall for him and he treat her like s h i t and realize, he is cheating behind her back, so when she return, and you happen to be, at the right place, at the right time, so bingo, you got her back, wow, you are just another spare tire, maybe you already, one way or another already have an idea, whats going on already, you just want to find someone who has the same opinion as you do.
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woman are predictable
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freakening the TS?Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:Seem like in tv. The gf is being rape. then broke off with bf, then patch again.
you know, in states, there is alot of rape cases.
Then this famous "why you ask... shouldn't the past be buried.. aren't we starting anew" sure got de. -
she's 2-timing, cant u see?
dump her.
i have a feeling she just need you for money or for a temporary wall. -
I think you might make quite a good story-writer?Originally posted by allentyb:the truth will hurt if you find it out, do you actually, there is a thing called 'the right feelings', maybe she went to the states, and meet an ang moh, and she fall for him and he treat her like s h i t and realize, he is cheating behind her back, so when she return, and you happen to be, at the right place, at the right time, so bingo, you got her back, wow, you are just another spare tire, maybe you already, one way or another already have an idea, whats going on already, you just want to find someone who has the same opinion as you do.
Just a 'maybe' and you so convenient 'fixed' and 'pieced' together so many pieces without much relevant grounds...? -
Really? Because you ASSUME you KNOW?Originally posted by allentyb:woman are predictable -
Getting it over with... The end-product 'should' ultimately be almost the same... Mmm... Maybe with a little 'side effects' for each of the 2 different scenerios you've mentioned...?Originally posted by ahhaoz:I mean..
Is there a difference between putting the past behind us and burying the past?
somebody correct me if i'm wrong..
but i believe the right way is putting the past behind us.. because putting it behind us means that both of us acknowledge what has happened and we both know it's a mistkae and something we don't want to commit again... and we know that putting the issue on our minds is detrimental .. thus putting it behind us.. not to bring up again. but learning a lesson from the mistakes we've made...
burying the past however.. means I never probe into it.. and we.. or she rather since i don't even know what it was about in the first place, bury it .. never to bring up again.. it's like escaping from something..
mimic to be like an ostrich sticking his head into the sand,
comments please.. thanx.. i'm very open to criticism.. please speak your mind..
It's like 2 different ways of swallowing a pill... Just that now you that you're in a relationship... You'll have to balance and try to use a method which both parties can be more comfortable with...
You'll 1st have to come to terms and understand what's your objective and priority... To get the pill swallowed and (relationship) stay alive? Or just to swallow the pills..? Or do you REALLY (?) have to insist on a way of swallowing the pill...
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probably more of a watch-too-much-tv case...Originally posted by kIppEr:freakening the TS?
hehehe...
anyways, if the girl doesnt wanna talk about it, then dont.
even if she does love you and trust you, it doesnt mean that she has to tell you EVERYTHING
im sure she has her reasons as to why she doesnt want to tell you... -
Maybe she will fall in love with somebody else in the future.
Maybe she has some other boyfriends she did not tell you about
Maybe she had a child with her ex and aborted the child
Maybe she secretly prefers women
Maybe she doesn't really love you
somebody help me think of other maybes... if thread starter likes to live his life based on "maybes"; let us all chip in and help him! -
...... my bad, i jump to conclusion, it should be, at times, woman's heart is hard to fathom.Originally posted by Devil1976:Really? Because you ASSUME you KNOW? -
Well...if she doesnt want to share then don't bother prying into it. Its obviously a bad experience...probably she two-timed you but the relationship failed.
Just shower her with your love! I bet she'll be very appreciative that you care about her and grow to love you even more !!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Okie... 'times'....Originally posted by allentyb:...... my bad, i jump to conclusion, it should be, at times, woman's heart is hard to fathom.
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hmmm...
alot could have happened during that time....
DO YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW??
if it's me, i know i'll need to know....
I can only fully trust someone who is totally open and honest with me... be it with the past or with his feelings...
if you really wanna know....
don't push her.... gently explain to her why u have to know.... and give her time to consider.... -
Originally posted by smudgey:hmmm...
alot could have happened during that time....
DO YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW??
if it's me, i know i'll need to know....
I can only fully trust someone who is totally open and honest with me... be it with the past or with his feelings...
if you really wanna know....
don't push her.... gently explain to her why u have to know.... and give her time to consider.... I rather live in the now and in the moment than to know cr@p about the past...
A MOMENT in TIME -
true....Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:
but to me....
to truely live in the NOW, I need to understand the past... let it go and leave it in the past... -
If your mere curiosity to know the truth, can cause her pain to remember the past, will you still do it? will you still insist in knowing the past?Originally posted by smudgey:true....
but to me....
to truely live in the NOW, I need to understand the past... let it go and leave it in the past...