your partner's past
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ya... that's something to consider....Originally posted by blu_sky:If your mere curiosity to know the truth, can cause her pain to remember the past, will you still do it? will you still insist in knowing the past?
which is why i mention to gently explain your reasons for wanting to know and giving her time to consider if she wants to tell you... -
for all u know...not only cause her pain, can cause you pain also...Originally posted by blu_sky:If your mere curiosity to know the truth, can cause her pain to remember the past, will you still do it? will you still insist in knowing the past?
and probably...more than just pain...? -
The past hor, the future and even the present is an illusion... but this is getting too cheem liao...Originally posted by smudgey:true....
but to me....
to truely live in the NOW, I need to understand the past... let it go and leave it in the past... -
Likely.Originally posted by udontknowme:for all u know...not only cause her pain, can cause you pain also...
and probably...more than just pain...?
so why dig up the past? what good will that do other than satisfying curiosity? -
saying it is easy, letting go, really really letting it go is not...Originally posted by blu_sky:Likely.
so why dig up the past? what good will that do other than satisfying curiosity? -
Then what is not illusion?Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:The past hor, the future and even the present is an illusion... but this is getting too cheem liao... -
so you rather choose the easy way out, and hurt your loved one?Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:saying it is easy, letting go, really really letting it go is not... -
If you want to let go of the past, BOTH of you must do it. The relatoinship cannot move on if either of you hang on to it.
If you want to know of the past, think of the consequences if it is something unacceptable to you.
If both of you are able to let go of the past and move on, then work on the what you have now, and look ahead. -
no lah, the advice you give, for it to work, the recipient must work at it...Originally posted by blu_sky:so you rather choose the easy way out, and hurt your loved one? -
hard to say whether can be buried..
coz im one who dun mind wat happened in the past.. before together..
but wat happens when we are together really matters..
there's a possibility that she two timed..
but i think as long as she repent and loves u whole-heartedly now.. perhaps not knowing wat happened during that period is a blessing. -
To the T.S
i also have your problem.my girl left me for a boy she met only for 1 month.Her reason is i left the country for 1month and during that time i did not go out with her hence she got used to not seeing me and the pain was unbearable for her.But now she is coming back with me but she also tell me the same thing dont ask about the past.I tell you what ITS ALL BULL to me so if you think it is going to be a barrier in between you and her its time to leave her and move on.( i know its hard but try )
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Originally posted by ahhaoz:
Something definitely did happen btw them, but i think its best you let her tell u herself, rather than keep on harping on it, and ask her what happened. She probably won't tell u because i)she doesn't want u to feel jealous/angry/sad/jealous or ii) because the past hurts, and she don't want 2 think about it anymore.
My gf and I got together in Aug 04, december 05 she left for the states for an exchange.. may 06, there was a period of time where she totally ignored my calls or my msn.. when she was back in june 06, she broke off w me.. and in july she went away again.. she came back in dec 06 and i asked her out.. the feeling was so right.. and we were together again.. we celebrated v-day on monday and we had an enjoyable time.. but there's some knots in me..
She always calls this guy whom she went to the states with for exchange a jerk.
I can feel it in my blood it has got to do with the period of ignorance in may..
I asked her," what happened in the states"
she replied," why you ask... shouldn't the past be buried.. aren't we starting anew?"[/b]
burying the past.. is this a form of excapism? isn't coming to terms what has happened in the past and truly letting go of the incident better?
Either way, its up to u 2 decide if u really can forgive, forget and move on in life. But be warned that if u cannot forgive and forget, then it will be a sore point in ur relationship, and may come into action the next time u 2 quarrel.